The "4 weeks and bricking it" lounge.

[Thandeka]

Hello,
Me and Wasabipeanut thought a specific thread for people in our boat may be nice- as lovely as the knicker checkers thread is and great support but a lot of the lovely knicker checkers are past the evil first trimester and for those of us that have just found out we are pregnant again post MC we thought it might be nice for us to have a sub lounge to huddle in and support each other in these very early stages where in a way we are still in denial about this pregnancy!

We don't have to post due dates or anything scary like that, just more a place to wobble with people going through it at same time.

So I will be only 4 weeks tommorrow and 40 days ago tommorrow I had an MMC at 10 weeks but emby died at 6/7 weeks. So am going to be petrified basically for at least the next 8 weeks and would love some handholding- especially as this time I am not telling anybody except DH and best mate. Parents need not know.

thandeka this is pretty much what he looked like this morning minus the orange hair of course

When I had my first scan at 12 weeks for ds the sonographer was pregnant with her first child and I did ask her if she was tempted to keep checking everything was ok... she just laughed and muttered something, but I bet she was I'd also be checking every five minutes, even after 14 weeks!

Joy thank you for your kind words, it was nice to see him (he's a he at the moment, of course I have no idea what we're having, got another 10 weeks at least to find out)

rainbowdays sorry to hear you're having some bleeding problems, I too would recommend getting seen as soon as possible, because even "normal" pregnancy bleeds need to be investigated. Hope it's good news for you.

wow! this thread is moving fast! which is lovely that there are so many of us participating ... but not so good there are so many of us fretting.

Headfairy - "he" looks lovely - congrats on your positive scan
rainbowdays - I would agree with the others and pop yourself off to the docs, it doesn't necessarily mean bad news as the others have said and it will put your mind a bit at rest talking to the doc about it.
jardins thandeka joy27 - thanks for understanding! I think I used to do much more with my time. I am going to step away from spend a little less time on the computer now as I am spending too much time fretting over what might be (obviously I will still be glued to mumsnet as I will need to check in to see how everyone is doing!)

rainbowdays, I'd give the EPU/midwife a ring if I were you, just to be on the safe side. Lots of women have bleeding and nothing is wrong. Really hope that's the case for you.

thandeka- I think we'll be OK here as we are all in the same boat- worried as well as excited- so I'm sure nobody will be insensitive. At least, I will certainly try not to be! That must have stung when your loss was not acknowledged on another thread.

Well I just spoke to my GP. She says:

• I don't need anti-D til 28 weeks.
• I can't have an early scan til 8-10 weeks naaargh! She said there would be nothing to see. My adventures on Mumsnet suggest otherwise Surely you can have one before then?!?!

Anyway I am seeing the midwife (eep! is it pathetic to be excited?) on Thursday and I will speak to her about getting a scan asap. Surely I don't have to wait til I'm 8 weeks?! faints I'll be spending a tenner a day on HPTs as this rate, just to check I'm still knocked up!

On a more lighthearted note.... is anyone else enjoying being super-healthy and vigilant about what is going into their gob? I love researching what I can and can't eat, so does DP, it's a bit sad really. Unfortunately on the day I got a BFP I had just eaten liver pate for lunch, dur. So have to make up for such aberrations.
But then we have only known for 48 hours- come back to me in 2 weeks (knock on wood x 100) and I'll be gagging for a pint of red wine and a bloody steak I'm sure.

(Still worried we'll jinx it by being so excited though. We have even discussed names. Gulp.)

Headfairy have you been shagging my DH!? Seriously your gonk is the spits of him. Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Joy27 I had an early scan at 6weeks 3 days. Saw my little mutant ninja pacman bean (seriously that is what it looked like) with a heartbeat and everything- Midwife said I wouldn't miscarry. Yippee thinks I. Fast forward 4 weeks and I did Emby stopped growing shortly after. Found out since then that seeing a HB on a scan at 6 weeks you still have a 24% (i think) chance of MC (So much the same as normal really but by 8 weeks it drops to 2%. This time I can't face a scan earlier than 8 weeks because of that but I understand your impatience but the gap between 6weeks and 12 weeks scan is a long one whereas 8 weeks- 12 weeks is much less IYSWIM? Or perhaps pay for a private scan at 6 weeks and have an early one at 9 weeks? They are about £100ish I think, which is a lot but also in terms of mind at easeness probably worth every penny.

Oh and supervigilant about what goes in their gob? nom nom nom Thandeka says hurriedly stuffing in the last of her giant snickers in her gob (oh it has peanuts- the horror!) - yup mainly fruit and veg increased a lot - but I read somewhere that daily chocolate helps prevent MC so who am I to argue .

Yay my day is over for the day- and I have a day "off" tommorrow (work from home on other projects) so Thursday is creeping closer (5week mark!)

Cor, I don't think so Thandeka but I have been taking ttc awfully seriously so you never know!

Joy I can second the benefits of waiting to 8 weeks, much more of a reassurance because as thandeka says your chances of mc after seeing a hb at 8 weeks go right down. It's hard, but so worth it.

I've been terrible this pregnancy I'm afraid. To deter any attention on two trips away recently I've had to have a drink, albeit very weakly watered down white wine spritzers. We went to a friend's wedding in Jersey last week and I had to have a glass of wine and pretend to drink some champagne to avoid any awkward questions. I kept taking my champagne to the loo and tipping it down the loo so I could get a top up and no one would ask any questions. Apart from that been avoiding all the usuals. Mind you I had sushi the day I got my bfp, and I've been eating loads of prawns, but thoroughly cooked ones.

Dear all, it's Bank Holiday in France and I have just come back from a two hour zonk out sleep (with my 5 year old son).

We are all still waiting on Mummytopebs to get back to us re: her scan.

HeadFairy you made me chuckle: always good to lighten those anxious 4 - 12 weekers. Thank you.

Joy27 I really think waiting for a scan is best: at least it fits in with my decision to wait for my first appointment at 8/9 weeks based mostly on reasons given by Thandeka. Lordy lord, that seems such a long time.

Poor Rainbowdays. Have you made an appointment yet? Please tell us what the doctor says to you.

My question to you is, how can anyone feel like doing vigorous exercise these days? I guess I'm just not a sporty kinda girl.

Thanks for the advice girls. I think I'll obey doc's orders and wait til at least 8 weeks then. How will I get through it??

Just in case I sounded like the best-behaved pg lady on the block re food back there, you all should know that in the weeks before I got my BFP, thinking I couldn't be pg thanks to being away for crucial dates of cycle (or so I thought), I had quite a lot of drinks, and one absolute stinker of a hangover. I also ate liver, sushi, and some very rare roast beef. Oops.

It's strange actually... I'm finding I have much less appetite than I normally do. Usually at 4pm I'm trying to resist the snack machine... today I've just forced down a bit of fruit. Not like me at all, I am quite greedy if given half a chance.

Does anyone else which they could fast forward a few weeks?

hi e1 just thought id check in havent for few days been reading though,i woke up this morning in pain weird pain but pain my appt not till next monday so i went the asda bought a clearblue digi like a do every week last week said 2-3 weeks conception and i got same agin 2day a week on so it should be 3-4 now but wasnt so anyway cut a long story short im booked in at 1pm 2mrw for scan so fingers crossed but not feeling very confident probally another wait n see it 2 early 2 see anythin still goodluck e1 else whos got scans xxx

I am 6weeks5days by dates, scan showed 6weeks 1day sac with NO heartbeat, so have to go back next week . Still in limbo land. I hate this situation, having done it before I know it can go either way and the doc. helpfully said it is 50/50!!!! Well I could have told her that. So I am in a numb state for the next week, please can I go to sleep and it be then???? I will be 7weeks6days when I go for the next scan, so only a day off 8 weeks, and will at least have a better idea whether this pregnancy will produce a baby or not. So sorry for not everyone else who is in worry time here. I hope we have some positivity soon.

Rainbowdays glad you got a scan but gutted it still leaves you in limbo land. Fingers crossed and lots of sticky growing vibes being sent your way. Are you still at work- have you been signed off at all?

Pinky78 have read about your history on other threads so am aware of the terrible time you have had. CB digis are not massively reliable apparently and can cause undue panic. Maybe you were just onto 2weeks a week ago and so now you are on three weeks but not quite at the threshold of 3-4 weeks?

Thinking of you both.
xxx

thankyou thandeka will find out 2mrw hopefully will fill u in soon as i get bk no bleeding or spotting yet though dont know whether thats coz of the prednisolone though as it stopped my periods last time fingers crossed 4 me and e1 else xxx

just wondering i know bit personal is any1 having intercourse?

Hi ladies had my scan which showed a sac in the right place, they then did an internal scan which showed beginning of yolk thing so everything as it should be at this stage x x I have to go back in 2 weeks when i will be 8 weeks, so hopefully then they will be able to see a heartbeat. I made them check the full womb for bleed sites cos this is what wiped the bean out last time and there was none - so that was good.

Feel pleased with the scan but wish they could have seen the fetal pole which they couldnt, but said it might be still to early. The worry continues x

mummytopebs I've been thinking about you all day. I am glad you had a positive scan. As you say it is still early days. I am going for my scan when I am 6+3 so it is good to know what to expect. You are inching towards the 8 week marker.
Rainbowdays hugs to you.
pinky78 - nope! don't think we have since conception! I know it is apparently perfectly safe, but I don't think I would want to take the risk.
joy27 there is a book called Optimum Nutrition During Conception, Pregnancy & Childbirth that was recommended to me, I was given it last time I mc'd ... I haven't looked at it again but I remember it was full of some really great info.
thandeka forgot to say, congrats on the 100th post!

Mummytopebs glad all was in right place and fingers crossed for the next one.

Pinky good luck for tommorrow.

On the intercourse front we did while still in limbo front of is it/isnt it a BFP since then no but I erm had a few orgasms but that induced cramping so think I may avoid both for a few more weeks at least. Just before the MMC I was on honeymoon for 3 weeks and so lots and lots of shagging so will avoid I think this time just in case..........

obviously i had no worries of askin that personal question u made me blush lol just feel as ive give everythin up great if everythin goes 2 plan just bored waiting and time is dragging fast forward few months plz im goin mad lol xxx

sorry I work in sexual health- I never get embarrassed! But forget I may embarrass others- oops.

A fast forward button would be great!

Hi everyone,

Rainbow sorry to hear scan did not show much but hopefully you have a petite little bean who was just too little to see yet.

Happy bump - middle east. where? I cant imagine challenge to maintain lush garden??

Good news on your scan mummy.

Hi to everyone else too. I am officially 4 weeks today! Have been holding my breath for the past two days but all has been well. HPT is now coming back strong. Still trying not to get excited thou. My edd from mc would be 19 june so getting thru that day will be miles easier if i am still pregnant (please please please!). I am going to gp this thurs to get results of some fertility tests i had done this month! I guess i will discuss with her possibility of an early scan. If im not eligable then i might get a private one done about 8 weeks (stick to mummy little bee).

I will certainly not be having any sex for the next few weeks. I know that sex is safe but right now i feel paranoid about sneezing. Im sure dh will survive.

Jardins where in france are you? I am heading there on sat!

Hope everyone is feeling well and knicker checking is under control!!

Oh i have not had any nausea but instead have had monster hunger attacks. Thought i was going to have to eat my hairdresser this afternoon!

lol thandeka no worries u r refreshing lol and keeping me sane at the moment love ya loads xxxx

hello ladies, hope you don't mind if I join, bit of a funny situation really, right history first.........

13/05/09 scan because of funny feeling something was wrong.......scan showed bean had died at 6.5 weeks.....was supposed to be 8 weeks

14/05/09 ERPC.....all is good

19/05/09 finished bleeding and feel good pyhiscally and mentally

BD ....22/23/24/05/09

EWCM 29/05/09 and felt a few cramps

today had a bit of spotting and pain

thing is last pg was accident and years of being told I was not ovulating so never really thought about TTC but now since MMC I really want a baby, DP has agreed he wants one too...........

sorry for long post but could I be pg?? Answers on a postcard please.....lol!!

PS...have read all sorts of things online about women getting PG straight after ERPC

Hi Hoops welcome,

I suppose it is possible to be pregnant again! They do say you are most fertile after mc...

Have you done a test? You might just have to wait and see. I had pos hpt for 9 weeks after my mc last year so that might not be accurate. Best thing would be to see gp and get quantitative blood tests when they take your bloods with a few days inbetween so they can check if hcg rising.

Sorry that you are in limbo and that my post probably has not helped much.....

Hi Hoops, yay you found us from the facebook thread!

Looking at what you said it looks like you may have ovulated around around 15 days after your ERPC which is great news if your body managed to get back to "normal" so quickly. You had sex on eqivalent day6,7,8 of your cycle which is almost a week before you ovulated. Now sperm can live an absolute max of a week in the body and really its optimal at 3 days. So I would say it definitely isn't impossible that you are pregnant but unfortunately it may be less likely because of when you had sex. However according to some sources your body is desperate to maintain another pregnancy after a miscarriage and so you may find yourself "extra fertile" in that time. That is what happened to me- MMC on 19th April- Ovulated on 14th May (with lots and lots of shagging around then!) and obvious positive test from 26th May but lots of ambiguous "am i aren't I?" tests from the 22nd May. (I didn't have an EPRC I had natural miscarriage at 10 weeks but scan at hospital showed emby stopped at 6.5 weeks too)

Also you had spotting and pain on 3 days post ov. Implantation usually happens between 7-10days however in my last pregnancy (MMC one) I also had a tiny spot of blood and some EWCM on 3days post ov so again its not impossible.

Currently you are probably "cycle day" 19 and probably only about 4days post ov. Depending on how long your luteal phase is you can probably expect AF to arrive in the next week to 10 days and if you are pregnant you will probably be able to get a positive test at around the same time. The only way to definitely tell is to do a test. Despite your EPRC your AF arrival time isn't really affected only the ovulation (so if ovulation is delayed, AF is delayed - but the gap between Ovulation and AF (luteal phase) is usually fairly constant.

Hope that kind of makes sense and remember you may actually have ovulated before or after that time- as your indicators are not the most accurate ones used on their own. (Temping is the only way to definitively tell if you have ovulated) EWCM and OPK's can only predict ovulation is coming but not that it has actually happened if you see what I mean!

Sorry you got me on my fave subject- I have used FAM for years and years (initially not to get pregnant!) and I studied reproductive phyisiology at university.

Lovelymonster you made me laugh out loud with the thought of you eating your haridresser especially with your username- I drew a tracey beaker style pic in my head of a pink and yellow fluffy monster devouring a hairdresser just as she was about to ask how your holidays were! Oh and since you have had a miscarriage in the past you should defo be eligible for an early scan I think. I got one last time by begging anyhow and I hadn't had an MC before (1st pregnancy). And yay for being 4 weeks today. My period is officially a week late today! So hurrah for Tuesdays! (but won't be 5 weeks until thursday as my luteal phase is 12 days not 14 days so day period due and week pregnancy I am on are 2 days diff if that makes sense?)

Right probably should get up and do some work is my working from home day today!

Morning ladies!

Hello hoops. I'm no expert I'm afraid, but I do hope you get the news you're hoping for.

Hope all are well and enjoying the sunshine/garden today, and that tiny sprogs are nestling safely into endometriums.

I've decided that wild optimism is the only way forward with this pregnancy. Am going to try hard to banish thoughts of "jinxing" the pregnancy by being over-excited/talking about it with DP. Am just going to enjoy it and pray it lasts (please please please).

So, this morning I am joyful that:

• I have had no more spotting
• I feel like shit- even a bit nauseous, hurrah!
• I have a migraine which I hear is a common pg symptom. I can't take any painkillers for it, but I don't care.

Er, slightly misplaced joy there, perhaps. But just trying to be positive!

Good morning everybody. Yes, it's a beautiful, sunny day here in Normandy although we are heading for dreary rain and clouds again this week-end. I don't know if any one knows (or cares) but we have the joy and thrill of receivng Obama, Gordon Brown (or as one of my French friends asked me 'Gordon Who?')and Sarkozy in our neck of the woods (near Bayeux and Landing Beaches) for the 65th D-Day anniversary. Most people are quite pleased that our beloved president Sarkozy will be rained on from a very great height. (This is an indirect answer to LovelyMonster's question) And yes, I would like to know where in the Middle East you live, HappyBump? How long have you been there and what's it like? A 1,000 word essay will do nicely.

Now I'm glad you have all broached the subject of sex 'cos quite honestly I'm too scared to do the act these days, which is most frustrating. I've never been stressed about having sex before (and it has got me into trouble in the past)but now.... How are we going to cope without it until 12 weeks? And then your mini bump starts getting in the way. See Joy 27 your positive thinking is really helping: I'm already projecting myself in the second trimester.

Just for the record I feel really nauseous again today. I kinda groan my way through everything.

Here's wishing a peaceful week to all '4 weeks and bricking it' mumsnetters.