The "4 weeks and bricking it" lounge.

[Thandeka]

Hello,
Me and Wasabipeanut thought a specific thread for people in our boat may be nice- as lovely as the knicker checkers thread is and great support but a lot of the lovely knicker checkers are past the evil first trimester and for those of us that have just found out we are pregnant again post MC we thought it might be nice for us to have a sub lounge to huddle in and support each other in these very early stages where in a way we are still in denial about this pregnancy!

We don't have to post due dates or anything scary like that, just more a place to wobble with people going through it at same time.

So I will be only 4 weeks tommorrow and 40 days ago tommorrow I had an MMC at 10 weeks but emby died at 6/7 weeks. So am going to be petrified basically for at least the next 8 weeks and would love some handholding- especially as this time I am not telling anybody except DH and best mate. Parents need not know.

I have posted on the Jan 2010 thread too. I got my combined results today which put me on 1/224 which is just inside the 1/250 limit. So, now I have to decide if I want an amnio with a 0.5% miscarriage risk or I'm happy that the risk is low enough. I will take the weekend to think over the results and chat to some friends in RL who have been in similar situations.

On a happier note, jardins I think I can sometimes feel the baby moving too .

Happybump- very touched you remembered my scan. Had my nuchal today (get results in post) and bean was dancing away and is possibly a girl (secret yay- but trying not to fixate on that for definite incase a clear appendage is seen at 20 week scan!). El Bumpo (as my friend Jo calls it) is now 7cm and very cute so am very happy! Phew.

Westlondongirl- how handy it happened at the hospital (obviously less stress if it hadnt happened at all but yay for it being good news) your risk of MC is now 0.6% if that helps? (10 weeks with a heartbeat- according to MC association).

Quirkychick keep us posted on your thought processes- guess this is the next dilemma we all go through.....

How is everyone else doing?

Congrats Thandeka, so pleased for you.

WLG I am glad the outcome was so positive and that you managed to get to see your baby! I'm also suffering a bit from heartburn although not too badly yet (I remember from my pregnancy with DS it got much worse at the end). I found that drinking very cold milk helped (I actually drink a probiotic milky yogurt drink called Laban, but I don't think its available in the UK) - I usually hate milk and can hardly even bear to smell it let alone drink it, however in pregnancy I find I can tolerate it much better.

quirky I posted on the Jan thread, but thinking of you. When do you need to tell them by?

jardins I agree the best part of pregnancy is the baby movement, I have to admit when that happens for real (it didn't happen with DS until 23 weeks) I felt so secretly special and fortunate to be able to have this life experience. oh dear getting all soppy

Thandeka congratulations on your scan.

HappyBump (also on Jan thread) I was told I didn't need to hurry to make a decision, I think you can have an amnio quite late if you want. I will try to phone the consultant I saw on Tues when he is back and see if I can find out his miscarriage rates to weigh that up against the ds risk. I have been quite calm today as I decided that I would try to put aside my decision to mull it over. I could also pay to get the amnio results in a few days rather than a few weeks.

Thanks for everyone's support.

Hi, can I come and rejoin you all. I am 4weeks 5 days so far, and after 3 previous early m/c since November last year, I am not surprisingly unconvinced that this time will be any different.

It is good to read that several here have been getting sucessful scans etc. Congratulations on getting so far.

Thankdeka - congrats on your scan.

Quirkychick - it is tough to make decisions over amnios, hope you get all the advice you want from the doc.

Westlondongirl - wow, what a way to have a booking appointment, but glad you got all the reassurance you needed.

ozbride - I have just had the tests for recurrent miscarriage, having had 3 in a row. It basically consisted of loads of blood being taken. Multiple different blood tests for me, looking for blood clotting disorders etc, and also blood taken from my dh too to look at our genetic match! checking to see if we have DNA genetics that could cause repeated genetic issues to cause miscarriage. I have to wait til september to get the results. In the meantime here I am waiting to see if this pregnancy might make it.

Best of luck ladies. Fingers crossed for you all.

I'm 6+5 today, have decided to tell a good few of my gang of mums as a kind of counter-counter jinx. not going to let previous MMC ruin joy of this one; also personally think we could do with talking about MC more openly as found it a great help after mine. however, haven't told grandparents as don't want them to be disappointed...

DH goes the other way though - he doesn't really want to acknowledge pregnancy till 2nd trimester. fair enough, but it's kinda weird cos am knackered and v nauseous and he's being very caring, but not mentioning the cause...

very excited, but also petrified. have a private scan on thurs, but think should cancel as actually scared to go in case I see another empty sac.

I'm contradicting myself all over the place. on a roller-coaster.

Hello everyone, hope you all had a nice weekend.
jardins yours must have been quiet!
westlondongirl hope you managed to rest after your eventful Friday.
NGNL I know what you mean, I told three of my friends on Friday - we were having a girly dinner and one of them asked if we were trying for another - so I said well actually I've just had a positive test! But then I told them about the MC as well. I think it should be more open but it's a painful thing to talk about and it's up to the individual to decide if they want to talk or not. Personally I did find it helpful to hear about others' experiences. I hope your scan on Thurs brings good news.
willitbe I'm crossing everything for you.

Hi. Thanks for the statistic HappyBump it made me feel a lot better. Haven't had anymore bleeding so hopefully it was a one off. My nausea is through the roof again which is very annoying. Just hoping I will be one of the ones who gets a break after week 12. Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Hi WLG I'm glad all sounds well. By the way it was Thandeka that provided the stats ... she's the font of all knowledge when it comes to things like this.
NGNL good luck for your scan on Thursday. It is a complete roller coaster. Your DH sounds like he is being very sweet but maybe having a difficult time too like yourself. Mine just kept saying to me it will be fine don't be silly ... he's been right so far, touch wood, so maybe I was silly
willitbe I so hope that it will be for you.
quirky how you holding up?

Hi HappyBump thanks for your support. I talked to a lovely lady from ARC (Antenatal Results and Choices) which was very helpful, objective and informative. Basically, only an amnio can give me a definite result, marker scans are not scientifically robust, the NHS are thinking of recommending the cut off becomes 1/150 to prevent as many false positives. We are definitely moving towards being ok with ds risk but the consultant is ringing us tomorrow so I haven't made the final decision yet.

Sounds like some tough choices to make quirkychick. Hope you manage to decide what to do.

Sorry to hear about the bleeding wlg - that must have been really worrying for you. Glad it's stopped though, and I hope you're feeling less sick soon.

I've got to the hungry stage it seems, but thankfully the nausea doesn't seem to have kicked in yet. I'm 5+4 today and my main symptom is that my boobs have grown enormous! I've gone up two cup sizes already! Where will it end? Seeing the gynae tomorrow, who will hopefully give me a scan to check everything's OK. Fingers crossed.

We've pretty much decided not to go ahead with the amnio as the risk of mc is higher than the risk of ds. The consultant was helpful but obviously they can't make the decision for you. I will need to phone tomorrow to let him know we've decided not to as he's keeping a space open for us. Basically, my nuchal was still normal even if the high side of normal which made my results:
nuchal 1/101,
bloods 1/500
combined 1/224
If the amnio was risk free we would have done it, no question, but dp and I agree that we would be devastated if it was negative and we lost the baby. It's probably my last chance to have dc2 and I would like to live with the lowish risk and start to enjoy my pg.

Thanks for everyone's support it has been really helpful. If anyone else is in amnio dilemma I can't recommend the ARC helpline (Antenatal Results and Choices) enough.

Dear Quirkychick I'm so pleased you've managed to reach a decision you are both comfortable with. Obviously I didn't want to influence you either way but it looks like we've reached the SAME decision based on the same point: I too know this pregnancy is my last chance and I would not, I believe, have managed to live with myself if I had been the 1 in 200 who did lose a (healthy) baby after an amnio. It's not easy to decide, is it? How are you feeling now?

I had my first midwife appointment: 1 and a half hours! Gosh. Very thorough! She asked me if I had opted for the amnio and when I explained to her our decision to do the 18 week scan she said that she understood completely our mindset. Very reassuring.

How is everyone else faring? Thandeka? Have you had your results yet? HappyBump? Has anyone heard from FlyingCloud and Joy? How are the newer ladies feeling?

Have taken to swimming one or twice a week, mainly to help my back muscles from becoming to tense and also because it is so nice to feel like you want to be active again after those first three months!!!!

Dear jardins thank you for your post. I am feeling a little drained tbh I think I will feel better about it once I have phoned the consultant tomorrow with a definite answer. Dp found an interesting article about how many babies without ds are lost each year due to amnios. As a friend said to me it is a crap dilemma. If my risk had stayed at 1/101 I would almost definitely have had the amnio. Looking forward to being able to relax a little in this pg and start to bond with the bump which was hesitant to do.

quirkychick do you have a link to that article? I also cannot imagine losing a healthy baby due to the amnio.
I'll be 5 weeks tomorrow, starting to feel a little more positive!

Bettymum it is here the whole thing is quite interesting as a different point of view. The table at the bottom has the information, although more ds found quite a few "healthy" ones lost. It would be interesting to know what the risks given for the healthy mcs were.

Thanks quirkychick, that was an interesting article.
I had a dream about miscarrying last night, then I woke up and thought phew, it was just a dream.

Bettymum I had a dream about huge needles the other night. Pregnancy dreams can be very vivid can't they? I'm sure mine are partly to do with the fact I often have to eat something late at night to stop me feeling faint/sick. Still waiting for the sick/tired thing to properly go.

Anyone else's smileys not working, just the word comes up without []s?

testing the for you

Hmm, it worked, have you spilled tea on your keyboard or anything to make your keys go funny?

hello!
Talking of amnio's etc. I was watching a tv show last night (Private Practice) where the star doc does an amnio ... I was petrified, she was busy chatting away with the patient and barely looking she made it look so easy. Fortunately, everything was fine (phew!) but I was really worried for the baby and was shouting at her to watch what she was doing .

I really do think I need to get out of the house more ...

Other than that, all fine here it has got crazy hot - now it's 45 degrees!, am on some antibiotics for a UTI but I don't seem to have any noticeable symptoms which is good. I am flying to the UK on Monday and really can't wait for me and DS to spend some time with my parents in the nice green countryside. Yippeee

I just had my first gynae appointment. There was a noticeable but minescule bean-to-be -measuring 1.2mm! Apparently it's OK for the dates, but they won't really know until I have a scan after my holidays. In any case, seeing as I had a perfect scan at 10 weeks last time and still had a mc, I don't think I'm going to stop uncrossing my fingers until somewhere around the end of September!

Oh HappyBump will you still have access to Mumsnet whilst at your parents? Which part of the country do they live in?

We are so blessed with the weather here in Touraine. Between 27 and 33°C; sunny and breezy. It is so nice to be surrounded by rolling countryside, greenery, gardens, rivers; sigh! Apparently it rains loads in winter so I'm storing up on sun vitamins for now!!

Fingers crossed for you amyboo.

jardins we have just skyped my parents in Charente-Maritime it is scorching there!

I have just taken my DD to a cafe to eat waffles and ice-cream! I am storing up on mummy/daughter time this summer holidays before she has to share me with dc2. Making the most of it while it lasts.

My smileys are definitely not working, I will have to experiment with the keyboard and see if I've pressed something I shouldn't.