The "4 weeks and bricking it" lounge.

[Thandeka]

Hello,
Me and Wasabipeanut thought a specific thread for people in our boat may be nice- as lovely as the knicker checkers thread is and great support but a lot of the lovely knicker checkers are past the evil first trimester and for those of us that have just found out we are pregnant again post MC we thought it might be nice for us to have a sub lounge to huddle in and support each other in these very early stages where in a way we are still in denial about this pregnancy!

We don't have to post due dates or anything scary like that, just more a place to wobble with people going through it at same time.

So I will be only 4 weeks tommorrow and 40 days ago tommorrow I had an MMC at 10 weeks but emby died at 6/7 weeks. So am going to be petrified basically for at least the next 8 weeks and would love some handholding- especially as this time I am not telling anybody except DH and best mate. Parents need not know.

I am with you all on the constant fear front!

Today I'm twingey, a tad crampy (very very slightly), and my gusset-gazing has revealed one light brown streak and a couple of tiny red dots....

I think I'm 5+5 so hopefully, given previous mc, I might get a scan this week.

In the mean time DP and I are feeling like we jinxed it by being so excited over the past 24 hours. Gahhhh.

Sifuentes if you call your EPU first you should be able to head there for a scan today/tomorrow if you explain history. Let us know how you get on.

Oh Joy27 fingers crossed its just emby burrowing down and getting nice and comfy. (Or a pile or something entirely unrelated) How distressing for you though- please keep us posted.

I have decided for a date to aim to have my scan at -30th June (here hoping the hospital can accomodate me that day). IF WHEN I get that far I will be 8weeks 5 days and just back from Glasto so it seems as gooder time as any. So 30days from tommorrow am going to count down.....

Hi all,

I'm very new to all this! Had an ectopic pregnancy in Feb 08... now 5 (ish) weeks pregnant and absolutely terrified! Am constantly checking for any kind of ectopic symptom and its making me feel miserable and awful!

Am waiting for a date for an early scan but think I may actually go crazy before then. Am experiencing pains like period cramps, but nothing horrible a the moment (Thank God!) Have been to the loo about a thousand times checking everything is 'ok'! Would love some support from my friends/family, but too scared to tell anyone at the moment!

Good luck everyone!!!

Hi ladies i have been camoing for the weekend so have had no internet access x Hope everyone is ok and i can see everyone is as nervous as me.

Tomorrow is 6 week scan day it is at 1.45 and i am bricking it, my mam is desperate to come with me as dh is at work but i have decided to still go on my own, i would just rather deal with my own feelings - does that sound silly?

Still not many symptoms am tired and had a bit of nauseua but not much. My feelings are all over i keep telling myself i will be fine tomorrow then thinking if i think that there wil be nothing there - god i hate this lark

Mummytopebs I'm on my lunchbreak then so I will think of you then. Fingers crossed. I do get you wanting to go on your own and think you are very brave as I know I need someone with me.

xfingerscrossedx welcome to the thread. We can be your virtual support as many of us aren't telling the RL lot either. Presumably the hospital will be keeping a very very close eye on you. fingerscrossed for fingerscrossed

Cant sleep to nervous about tomorrow. Its weird this it really is lke a rollercoaster, was actually over the moon that i have felt sick today but then feel guilty and think if i start to believe that things will be ok then they will not be - not like my thinking can change what is going on inside my body but you just start to think really irrational x :0

Sorry also wanted to add Mowmi sorry about what you are going through, the exact same thing happened to me - unfortunatly that was my 1st mc so hopefully its different news for you x

Also wanted to ask if anyone esle has swollen ankles cos mine have been really puffy today - this is a bit worrying as i had pre-eclampsia with my dd (although its far to early for that i think - i hope)

mummytopebs - good luck for today, I'll be thinking of you, I hope you got some sleep. I hear what you are saying about symptom spotting, I am elated if I think anything is slightly connected to morning sickness ... my symptoms have been minimal so far, but still early days.

xfingerscrossedx - welcome, we are all terrified too it seems. It's good to have this virtual support as it is so hard to share these emotions with people in RL.

Good morning to all sweetpea and garden lovers!

Phew, this is an importnant benchmark day for many, so where do I begin?

Joy27 how are you today, my deary? Are you finding out about early scans?

xfingerscrossedx welcome to the funny farm. Feel free to rant and worry. We are all going through hormone surges which, coupled with bad experiences, are adling (spelt right???) our brains. I've had cramping too; most nerve-wracking but normal. Oh, and, do you like sweetpeas too?

Mummytopebs GOOD LUCK for today. I understand your wishing to go alone. Do you ffeel like you're having to remain focused on this uncomfortable moment and consequently prefer being alone? Let us know asap how it goes.

Dear HappyBump how are you this morning? I have been feeling increasing nausea over the past two days as I hit the 6 wk mark (I think). Of course it's horrible but reassuring. I even had it in the middle of the night, which kinda stopped me from sleeping. And then I woke up this morning and my first thought was 'it's gone: oh no! It's all going wrong.' What a rollercoaster.

Thandeka good luck at work today. Hope you're ok.

Mowmi how are you today? I'm really gunning for you.

Morning everyone.

mummytopebs, best of luck today... we'll all be thinking of you. I can empathise with you wanting to go on your own.

mowmi also thinking of you...

fingerscrossed hello- I'm new here too. We're not telling friends/family til 12 weeks. I'm finding that my previous mc is really taking the shine off the excitement... can't actually believe I'll make it that far...

Hello Jardins! My sweetpeas are getting massive! But not flowering yet

thandeka how are you doing today?

Hello everyone else.

I didn't have any more spotting yesterday or this morning- phew! Not really having any other symptoms either though. Massive headache today but I don't think that's a pg symptom is it? And I'm very tired, but that's probably the thought of a new week at work!

I called my GP and booked an appt for Thurs when we'll hopefully get a scan sorted. I've also asked her to call me today, as I'm a little concerned that I'll need an anti-D (sp?) jab asap... I'm rhesus negative and given my spotting yest, shouldn't I be getting the injection? I did have one after my mc last July, but might I need another, and if so, how soon? So much I don't know....

I hope everyone enjoyed the wonderful sunny weekend. I did, and was on a high all weekend with having stopped cramping and then had all the family around for a BBQ yesterday. However, I need to come back here to be in the comforting security of you ladies again today as I started spotting today. I am hoping it is just more late implantation, that is what I am telling myself, but not convincing myself totally.

Hope scans goes well today for you mummytopebs

Joy27 Yes, headaches are a symptom of pregnancy!! And I'm Rhesus negative too. I'm not sure if one requires a anti-D jab for spotting but you are absolutely right about checking that out. Let me know for future reference.

Dear Rainbowdays I'm glad you enjoyed the week-end. The spotting may well be totally harmless. How far gone are you now? (I know I should know, sorry). Have you ever had this before? Are you going to call the doctor about it, or not? Let us know!

I'm trying not to freak out that my reduced nausea. It's just that after having had it full on for two days, it seems weird not be feel so plagued.

Fingers crossed for us all. And keep us posted. Mummytopebs roll of 1.45 for good news I hope.

Rainbowdays and Joy27 keep us posted on the knicker checking (which actually sounds a bit pervy sorry!). My best mate had an MMC at 16 weeks and an susbquent pregnancy she was a bleeder throughout- really heavy too- her DD is now 5 so bleeding can mean everything and nothing which is a horrid place to be so thinkinging of you.

Jardins- google pictures of vomit and poo- that may help bring back the nausea ;). I once wrote an essay on Nausea and Vomiting in pregnancy (NVP) for uni- is fascinating evoluntionarily why it may exist. (To possibly causing women to avoid anything that could damage to fetus- eg. coffee). My nausea is getting worse but I really really want to vomit which still sounds perverse! I guess sticking your fingers down your throat doesnt count?

I am currently at work and soooo glad am leaving in 7 weeks (but gutted is 7 most crucial weeks) just trying not to let work stress get to me and just chillout and not be the work demon I once was- nothing else really matters except for my BFP to become a bean and keep growing for 9months and be born healthy. Sod office politics, orders for next year, marking, planning, etc etc.

Although work have just possibly asked me to do 1 day a week next year which i may do and would quite like too but obviously can't tell them the truth but if this works out I won't really be able to do it. Hmmm dilemma.

Oh and have my dad and bro staying tonight for 2 days and much as I love them they wind me up and drive me mad so that is going to be stressorama. Nargh!

Love to all and hope everyone is okay wherever they are and whatever they are doing.
x

Hi thandeka- that does sound rather stressful! Hope you manage to chill out. Let them do the cooking!

rainbowdays I feel for you... as thandeka says, spotting can mean nothing or everything. Fingers crossed for you. This whole experience is full of extremes of joy and fear isn't it? I wonder if it's the same for every woman...

I haven't heard from doc yet, will keep you posted jardins and others re what she says about being rhesus neg. I don't care if I have to sit in a sweaty crowded waiting room for 3 hours, or have needles stuck in my bumcheek. I just want to make sure all is ok.
And I really want an early scan. Here's hoping.

In the mean time I'm sort of concerned that I'm not getting any nausea. I never thought I'd wish to feel sick but I do!

THIS IS SO NERVEWRACKING!

AGHHHHHHH! Yes, NERVEWRACKING is the word! I have spent the entire morning worrying why my nausea is less strong than yesterday. This is crazy! You should see my fingers slamming down on the laptop keys as I write this.

Thandeka listen to me my dear: despite being plagued with ms during my pregnancies I NEVER threw up, not once.

I am also anxious because I'm around the time when the embryo died in my last pregnancy. Naaaahhhh.

My best friend is coming over on Thursday until Sunday. Normally I'm overjoyed when she comes but this time I feel so lethargic and (hopefully) nauseous that I don't feel up to much. She's fab but has never had children (almost 40 so I guess that won't change ) so despite being a thoroughly nice person she doesn't get that early pregnancy feeling. I really don't want to sound like an ungrateful cow.

Well my students were talking about soggy bread in lesson today and that made me feel quite ill! So its a start I suppose!

How many weeks, days (if only we could pinpoint it to hours and seconds!) are you now Jardins? Any more thoughts on when to have a scan?

Hope you have a lovely weekend with her, you may find she lifts you out of it a bit.

Joy27 I read your post as in sitting for three hours WITH needles in your bumcheek and I thought OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

okay, someone slap me ... I just read on one of the mc threads about someone who was still having positive hpt's 7 weeks after mc as she had mc'd at 12 weeks. So in a panic I just went to the shop to buy the cheapest hpt I could because I thought ... oh no, what happens if all I am having is post-mc high hcg levels. My mc was at the end of march and I've had one AF since.

Anyway, it came up positive within seconds . That must mean I am actually pregnant right? I know I am, I just keep doubting myself.

I am just so worried because I don't really have any symptoms. I know it's early days ... but I can't stop fretting and reading the internet. 6 more days until the first scan...

sorry this has been so self-indulgent ... will read everyone's posts in a bit.

Self indulgent is entirely allowed! (In fact I'm getting a bit miffed at RL friends who have stopped supporting me post MC like I should be over it by now- they don't know I'm pregnant again).

I think your reaction is fairy nuff and yup means you are pregnant - so breathe (and a gentle slap like you asked).

I read Lesley Regans Miscarriage book from cover to cover last night which was helpful and informative so I get the googling but make sure you are looking at reliable resources (NHS direct, Miscarriage assoc, wikipedia etc.-"Miscarriedaftereatingmalteaser.com" is probably not a reliable site. Sorry flippant I know but so much of the internet has the power to panic and in our delicate conditions lets try to avoid it. (Wikipedia panicked me today as has about MC link and exercise and I have been trying to do some very gentle exercise to be a bit healthier- ah well thats an excuse to stay on the sofa if ever I saw one!)

Hope you don't mind me butting in but I just wanted to say congrats on your pregnancy thandeka. I posted on your thread when you mc'd and it's lovely to hear you're pg again. Good luck with it all, hope the days and weeks fly by. I've just come back from my second early scan (panicker? Moi?) as we are lucky enough to have a walk in centre at St George's in Tooting. I'm 10+1 today and saw my little gonk (can't say bean now cos he's got wee little arms and legs ). I had two mcs back to back earlier this year so I know how hard it is being in early pregnacy after a mc. Good luck to you all hope the next few weeks fly by

Happybump, I totally understand. Had sudden moment this morning where I wondered if both BFPs were wrong! (Even though I know this isn't possible), or whether my last period was an mc and I have still high HCG levels. I'm sure we are both being (quite understandably) irrational.

Headfairy, hello! I do believe we've "shared" a thread before! How lovely that you saw your baby... good to read some positive news.

Thandeka I too have been wondering about exercise. I do some quite vigorous aerobic exercise twice a week, and am wondering whether the health benefits of continuing outweigh the possible risks. Will add it to my fast-expanding list of q's for the doc this afternoon!

Am so glad I found this thread- lots of ladies going through just the same thing!

I have started bleeding as opposed to spotting now, but no cramps yet. But this is how my first miscarriage started. so not sure what to do. I am 6weeks 5days. Do I go see anyone, or just wait and see if I start getting cramps and pass clots???? What am I supposed to do?

Dear HappyBump I am so sorry you are being plagued by anxiety. We really should take a look at our collective selves and laugh a little. Of COURSE you're pregnant! I cannot believe how googling drains so much of my energy. I used to be a fairly proactive girl, now I'm reduced to symptom spotting, fretting, and anxious googling.

Thandeka my last period was 19 April (the one and only after mmc)so I think I'm around 6 weeks. I think I will make an appointment for around the 9 week mark. I'm tempted by acupuncture. Do you really feel it does you a lot of good?

Fingers crossed for Mummytopebs.

Gosh it?s been a busy weekend! Hope everyone enjoyed some sun.

Firstly, Mowmi I was so sorry to see your news. This is just the cruellest process. You have all of my sympathy. I went through the ?scan with nothing visible? routine earlier this year and it was truly heartbreaking. We are all here for you as and when you want to talk.

Welcome to Joy and Lovelymonster !
Yay! We have been hanging out on the grapefruit thread for a while now and have now finally graduated. Yippeee!

Joy I don?t think you need an anti d for a little spotting in 1st trimester. I had loads when I was pg with my ds but that was in the 2nd trimester and I had a few quite big bleeds (yeah ? scary as hell but was actually cervical erosions).

Rainbow I hope your spotting is equally harmless.

Sif How are you today? How did your scan go? Cramping is nothing to worry about (I think) unless it is accompanied by a bleed. Lots of women cramp quite badly early on. I will look for you on some of the other threads. Try and stay positive x

fingercrossed congratulations to you too! You will be happy here ? we can all try and reassure eachother.

Thandeka I couldn?t help laughing at your post. I also read Lesley Regans miscarriage book from cover to cover last night! Do you feel better for it?

Mummytopebs GOOD LUCK for today!

Well I am also plagued by worry. Symptoms seem to be up one day and down the next. Have started getting heartburn (good) but boobs seem less sore and sense of smell less acute. Still no real nausea although I have the odd moment that feels a little strange. Biggest one is dizzy spells ? whenever I go from sitting to standing my head spins.

And get this ? I am worried as I have had no spotting. With ds and even the mc I had a tiny amount of spotting right at the beginning but this time ? zip. I did a Clearblue digi yesterday and it said 3 weeks which is right as am 5 weeks today. Can?t stop freaking as my last one didn?t make it to 6 weeks.

Got a GP appt tomorrow and going to ask to be referred for scan. My local EPU won?t do reassurance scans without referral.

Rainbowdays get thee to a doctor/hospital/phone a midwife. If nothing else to find out one way or the other and get the help and support you need. I'm thinking of you and hoping it just evil "normal" bleeding during early pregnancy rather than anything else- but wouldn't it be better for you to know one way or the other rather than be in excruciating limbo? Take care of yourself. xxx

For the others:
Headfairy thankyou and congratulations and must say Gonk is the best description EVER (Thandeka considers naming first child Gonk- then thinks better of it....). BTW and very impressed you managed to get two reassurance scans- if I had my way I would be continually walking round with a probe up my fanjo okay perhaps not walking- more hobbling! DH is a patent lawyer and engineer so I want him to invent me a portable (and discreet) one so I can do this. Failing that will have to be the hospital like everyone else sigh.

Joy27 from what I have read (from wikipedia- so reasonably reliable) gentle exercise is okay- vigorous excercise not so much but then your doc will have a definitive answer. I do my wii fit step aerobics and for most people that is very gentle exercise- for unfit me couch potato- is verging on vigorous so I figure getting off the couch to put a new dvd in counts as enough exercise for me!

Jardins 19th April was my "cycle start" too - cept mine was the MMC but I put myself behind you as I know I ovulated on day 26 of my cycle so 12 days later than "normal" so I am 12 days behind you if that makes sense. Do you know when you ovulated? I LOVE accupuncture mainly because my accupuncturist is lovely and is chance for me to feel like am doing something proactive. They are reluctant to treat in early pregnancy unless it is treating extreme symptoms like sickness but even if I am sick I don't want them to treat that! I find it lovely and relaxing and much needed and I am going to carry on throughout.

Wasabipeanut what are we like with our book habits! I did skip some bits about reccurent miscarriage with the distinct thought that when if it happens again I will read those bits. Oh and I am so sorry but I did laugh at the thought of you being worried about not spotting. That to me sumarises perfectly how evil this malarky is - we have women on this thread worried about spotting, worried about not spotting, worried about a symtom or lack therof. Don't we just wish we could switch our brains off from thinking about it?

Ooh and its now 1.45 as I write this so mummytopebs is having her scan so collective good wishes from this thread to her (hope I got the time right- have to go teach a lesson in a bit so no time to check).

and can I be secretly excited that mine was the 100th post and this is now 101 (hopefully if someone hasn't got in before me!

Oh and also I feel I have to recognise that I felt bad writing the previous post as it was all about ups and downs and those people currently in a down may not want to read the other peoples ups if that makes sense? Like I went on the Nov 08 thread last week as I remembered I had to take myself off it so I posted and only one person said "sorry" and then there were a zillion other posts raving about being in the 2nd trimester. That somewhat upset me. I know this thread is very different as we are all worried stupid (but like George Orwell- but some are more worried than others) but I still felt I needed to mention it so we can recognise it- not sure I have any answers at all on how to deal with it though.

Anyhow just another message of love and support and fingerscrossedness to Mowmi & Rainbowdays in particular and anyone else currently in a very evil limbo. xxx