Urgent

[Tumi]

When a baby is conceived on the 30 of August when will the due date of the birth be? i am really looking for an urgent answer please, my boyfriend slept with another girl on the 30th August and now she says she is pregnant and does not know who the baby daddy is but she is giving birth this april ... how possible is it my boyfriends? he is very traumatised and when i call her she laughs, we had a fight and thats when he slept with her. Thing is if the baby is his then i wont be able to be with him as its his first child and i dont even have a baby yet, i wont be able to stand the hurt.

Please help ...

I agree with Nebaku - not least because once Tumi's pressed the nuclear button, biatchtroll's got nothing to lose. What Tumi wants is the troll out of her life.

Oh girls i love it we now have a name for her "biatchtroll" i love it

and bumpspoon i love the names

you girls are the best

Its that time again when i am back to being a misrable rack

she got a baby boy and everyone says he looks like my boyfriends, i spoke to her and she was honest to me for the first time. She said she slept with my boyfriend after she went on her periods but lied to him when he asked if she was having her monthly periods.

This all shows that it is my boyfriends baby, she says her due date was on the 4th of June but she got the baby on the 2nd, i need some time off alone and without my boyfriend

This is the most hardest time in my life and i honestly wish i was dead .

I need help

I've just used the Mumsnet due date/conception calculator - here and to get a due date of 04 Jun 09 I had to put in a date of last period of 30 Aug 08 - that then gave me a due date of 04 Jun 09 with the conception date being 13 Sep 08. So if she was given a due date of 04 Jun 09 then it can't be your boyfriend's baby.

As for "everyone says he looks like my boyfriends" I would take that with a hefty pinch of salt unless your boyfriend is a very different colour to her boyfriend or has a very distinguishing feature/colour hair/etc. Does the 'everyone' also know her boyfriend because the last time you were saying about it all he knew nothing about her sleeping with your bf and was firmly under the impression the baby was his.

What, exactly, do you need to prove to yourself this isn't your boyfriend's baby because so far, no matter what anyone says or shows you to prove it can't be your bf's, two seconds later you're back where you started and this just can't go on.

Think you need to tell the boyfriend that there's doubt over the baby's parentage. Okay, it's bad for the baby, but what about the 'pretend father'. Doesn't he deserve t know that he's bonding with someone else's baby. And who says she won't one day use that against him and take the child away, leaving him with no legal access to a kid he has always considered his own?

If he has all the evidence and decides to stay with the old slapper then fine, but he deserves to have the choice... And then you won't be tortured. On the plus side, this has been a valuable lesson to your boyfriend, who I'm sure won't be quite so keen on sticking his bits in silly places while unprotected in future.

Nekabu i feel like everyone just wants to see me like this and i dont know who to believe anymore, she acts so nice all of a sudden and says she has told me the truth. I am afraid for what mite happen, this story changes everytimr i try to investigate... I just dont know anymore

UghNo thanks for your response, i ask myself time and time again what got into him. He was irresponsible and careless, i will never take him back if the baby is his. NO!!!!! Not even once have i ever humiliated him and see what is happening to me today? I cant even enjoy my own pregnancy

Tumi, you didn't answer my question: "What, exactly, do you need to prove to yourself this isn't your boyfriend's baby?"

Nor did you say whether your boyfriend had something very obviously different about him (such as colour or hair colour) to both her or her bf.

You need to ask yourself what it will take to convince you because at the moment you seem to be making no progress and are spoiling your own pregnancy. For example, you just totally ignored the bit I wrote about the Mumsnet due date calculator which showed the baby couldn't be your bf's.

the definitive answer is a DNA test

and that will end it

i thought the baby was 3 weeks overdue ? giving credence to it not being your BFs

you said:

Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Tumi on Mon 25-May-09 11:46:44
They slept together on the 30th of August but to what i was told she was suppose to get her baby on the 30th - 5th of may. The thing that worries me is that she is overdue and now it ties up with the time she slept with my boyfriend.

so according to what you posted she went almost 4 weeks overdue?

that is not going to happen

most units get twitchy about letting women go past 42 weeks, never mind to 44

what nekabu posted has indicated that your boyfriend could not be the father and she is lying , but you have to get a grip of this and look after yourself

Unicornvomit i thought so too, she is changing her story from the due date being 30-5 may to the 4th June. She says the baby is so big and he is so heavy and i am thinking that thats because she was 10 months, all this does not make any sense to me ...

Nekabu my boyfriend has the same skin colour as hers and about convincing myself i really dont know what i should do, she is eager for the DNA tests maybe thats why i am starting to worry... What if my boyfriend slept with her another time than that once? Then what??????????? omg

a baby born at 42 + weeks might not be big and heavy, tehy can lose deposits of fat and also can be quite wrinkly. their skin is often dry and they won;t have any vernix on them. nails can also be longer. a post mature baby does not like a regular newborn.

letting a woman got past 42 weeks is not common at all. i think she is saying it to make it seem more likely he is the father

the fact is , he cheated.

whether he did it more than once is almost irrelevant as you are no longer with him

concentrate on yourself and your pregnancy
don't give her the power to ruin it

If there isn't a huge distinguishing difference between your bf and her or her bf then you simply cannot pay much attention to the "everyone says he looks like my boyfriends".

If the dna test will convince you then have it done. You can't go on like this.

I notice that you still didn't say anything about the due date calculator saying that her baby was probably conceived on 13 Sep.

sorry, does not look like a regular newborn!!

the DNA test will give you the answers , no-one else can. i suggest that it is done as a matter of urgency and you can all move forwards

due dates do not alter by 4 weeks. mabye a few days , even a week or maybe 2 , but not a whole month

the earlier a scan is done, the more accurate, so the first due date she got given is most likely the real one

Is this for real? Is the OP in the UK or the US?

Why would you be doing anything to find out the truth, thats up to the mother and the potential father, isn't it? Surely he should be the one talking to her? Its not that difficult, he knows when he slept with her, add on the 9 months and its not rocket science.
Sounds like there is more to this.

Thank you Unicornvomit i will deffinately force that to happen and Nekabu you have kept up with my moaning and groaning till this day, yes i didnt say anything about the calculator maybe because i am scared he messed up more than once? if not then i dont believe people could go to that extent to make others miserable, it is insane and cruel

i will get my boyfriend to speed up the DNA process and maybe after that i will have a goodnite sleep ...

Jopie its mainly because i am concerned about myself and my baby and what is happening that is destroying my family, guys take things easy and so is my boyfiend. He wants nothing to do with her but wants to know the truth thats all, i am just caught up in the middle and i really cant get myself out!

I would certainly get a DNA test done ASAP. From what you have said it makes it pretty impossible that your partner is the father. I looked at a due date calculator that her baby would be due on the 21st May.

Now then let us talk about your baby. I am new to this thread but have been reading through. When are you due?

Please let us take your mind of this for a while.

I am due on the 22nd of November and what about yourself?

I have 2 boys. DS1 was 2 in March and DS2 was born on the 12th December last year! I can not believe he is almost 6 months already!! I'm still really broody though!!

How is the pregnancy going?? Do you have any idea what sex you are having?

Things are not going too well Kayzr and i have not even had time for myself and my baby as mostly i am stressing, but i cant wait to have it. I have always wanted a baby and here i am, i am just so sorry that i am not as happy as i am suppose to be but time will come.

You poor thing. I can't imagine what you are going through. You and your partner are meant to be enjoying this exciting time.

Do you think if the baby is not his you will both be able to put it behind you and get on with your lives?

Yes i thing we will deffinately put it behind us, i just cant wait for that day to come.

You know you are so lucky you have 2 healthy babies, you are blessed