40 + Mums and Mums to be - Bellies, Tellis, Vomit and Poo

[Tee2072]

Here's another one!

Come on by if your 40 + and are pregnant, almost pregnant, just pregnant or even just want some virtual cake!!!

Congratulations Goldenpig and welcome to baby Winnie

About to do shop for tomorrow's bbq, having sent DH off to get pizzas for DD's party after DS's footie (weekends, what are they?), so only have time to post this link to the L K Bennet outlet bit of their online store. Still not cheap but good bargains.

Like Tee, since I can't buy any pretty skinny clothes I'm going to feed the need through you girls. I feel as bad as I did when I told JW that marshmallows were fat-free .

Morning all and I'm thrilled I've encouraged you all to spend!! mrsB I almost linked to that Oyster skirt....as I tried it on and it's stunning. Just don't think I'm tall enough to do it justice - felt I needed an extra inch!

Well - big red cross on our door DP has vomited spectacularly this morning - as has Iris. I'm just feel bleugh...and Verity has the squints and is asleep on DP. So much for heading into town for shoes for Iris.

heron Good to hear the anti-d's are doing there job. Never had PND but I think a few us on here have and I'm truely grateful I never had to go through it. Make the most of the sun

tee enjoy IKEA - don't have meatballs on my behalf, I'll only throw them up
Oh crikey - feel shocking suddenly

Oh no JJ! I'm very sorry to have to extend a welcome to my world.. Alex still has the squits (since weds...but at least he hasn't vommed since yesterday morning)and I started in the early hours of this morning ...it is truly horrid...I hope you all recover quickly. JW you are welcome to come round and catch it, its guaranteed to get rid of your problem in an instant

Congratulations to Goldenpig and welcome to the world Winnie. How wonderful you consultant encouraged you to have more!

got to go...back later

jj yes thank God for anti-ds

would love IKEA meatballs! yum!

Back from Ikea!

No meatballs, but DH had their 99p fry up. The sausage was lovely! Purchased this and this and some plastic storage boxes.

Oh no JJ I hope everyone feels better soon!

iris gorgeous shrug! Me want one!

That is an interesting article about midwives JW. Of course, the comments are stupid. Yes, let's stop everyone who's had 2 by giving them no benefits for their third. That will stop people from having babies. For sure.

Given the shortage of midwives, I'll be their star patient when I tell them about the very short labour that I have planned. I'll be an example to everyone.
Congrats to Goldenpig.
There isn't an IKEA anywhere near me. I thought they were meant to be all over the country.

Jeez. I can't believe this D&V is still running - no pun intended. floria if there's anything I can do, just shout me. I really hope that A manages to get over it very soon. Poor little mite When you're over it let me know for lunching purposes (probably the last thing on your mind at the mo, sorry).

Nice stuff there tee. Must be pretty much all set now?

As I get older, the more right wing I am becoming - and I started out in the communist party so I've come far. Having a third baby is fine as long as you have the means to support it. If however, it just means your benefits go up then I'm totally in agreement that you shouldn't be having anymore. DSS's half sister is now on her 4th....not sure when it's due but...never worked a day in her life, never went to school, is same age as my DD#1 (23) and each baby to different dad. Pure J Kyle and she's not alone either. I'll stop there before I get to offending people stage............

Well we've had a trip round (the world famous) Bury Market. Nothing of note purchased but I'm thinking that once madam is asleep then I'll pop out on my own. I'm on the look out for a replacement dress for non-christening as the one I've bought buries me. I've already bought some beautiful green heels, which match the too big dress, so trying to get a dress to match but if not then it's a completely new outfit. Seems such a shame.

ermintrude enjoy your BBQ and thanks for the LK Bennett link. Had a quick look and the clothes are so lovely. Gah. If only I was very rich

Oi Oi mrsb Blondie! where are you today? Hope you're not out on the razz with your new hair do

I'm here jw

internet keeps crashing on lap top for some reason and OH refuses to look into it as its not affecting his computers as much.

No razzing going on at all! the height of excitement is that I am having a nice curry tonight. Although I am not usually one for recommending sauces in jars the new Sharwoods Cantonese curry is actually nice in a chinesey curry sort of way and is only 2% fat. So you can bung in chicken and veggies without frying first and eat away with no fear of the splats. Will have to do until I can figure out how to make a proper curry without much oil.

Speaking of which the DM article on alli is a pretty weak attempt at scaremongering - it might give you cancer - yeah well you're only going to be taking it for a few months being fat for years is much more likely to give you cancer!

And as for eating more fat after being on it? no way I thought OH's Marks and Spencer lasagne looked quite disgusting last night with all that oil glooping around in it.

jj I can't believe you have all come down with a bug again. You poor poor things. Jeez but kids are filthy little buggers aren't they? D seems to be over his latest tummy buggy thing now thank God. Hope you get over it quick and get to enjoy some of the weekend.

I am on the lookout for a second Amby -to keep at D's grandma's house as he refuses to sleep in the travel cot we keep there and I think he is knackering her with no naps . I saw a thread on here where someone had found a fake one that looked similar. Ebay is a no go -all too expensive.

I saw THE most beautiful green dress jw in a shop here - its a Vivienne Westwood green silk number - cost £245 and only available up to a size 14 - God but I loved it. Ever since I saw it I have been after a nice green dress (less expensive) will let you know if I find anything nice.

yeah, JW pretty much set. Still need to order my Amby and get some odds and ends in, like sheets!

I too am having a curry tonight, but mines take away. Neither DH nor I could think of a single thing we wanted for dinner other than that, so we thought we'd splurge out a bit.

My issue with no benefits for third children as a deterrent is that not all babies are planned. Many people say they'll have no more and then OOPS they're pregnant again, intentional or not. So what happens to those babies, if we cut benefits to them and their parents can't support them? Let them starve?

Just checking between bouts of vomit - DP back in bed as is Verity Not eaten a thing - just want to hurl at the thought of food.

tee we have the ODDA wardrobe for Iris - it's fab. OK so it's not sweet & girlie but practical and we're slowly sticking stuff on it to make it more cute. Here is Iris helping put it together last year

jw we did a quick calculation, based on 4 kids, no council tax, incapactiy benefit,(which is all the rage on our road ), ordinary benefit and council house rent....and it made us want to weep - we have nowhere near that much disposable income.

This labour government has been very odd indeed. It's made the rich so much richer and added a whole new social sector - 'benefit class'. Bonkers, The worrying thing is - that the folk who wouldn't go getting a job when there was one available don't even have the chance of one now. So it's the ordinary, bog-standard folk left to carry the weight and the sums won't add up. There simply won't be enough to go round.

It's the poor unemployed people, who've worked bloody hard that I feel sorry for. They'll be the ones getting it in the neck. They'll be the ones who lose it all and have to pay for it. They'll be the ones the government force out onto usless re-training schemes and patronised like fools down the job centre. Can you tell I've been made redundant SEVEN time in 5 years It's all the wrong way round. Rewards are not handed out to the right people.
climbs off soap boxes and goes to snarl at jw's DSS's half sister

I feel strangely better now. SOrry if I've offended anyone btw..I'm not a heartless cow....it's just that you see it down our street and it depresses me. It depresses my mate 2 doors down in her council house. She's a SN child minder and respite foster carer - the woman is a marvel and she's embarrassed by saying she lives in a council house and that's ridiculous

jj it is not fair sometimes, i get really angry too.

JJ again,deep sympathy on the plague...I'm relatively lucky in that I only have the D bit of the D&V...totally agree with you and JW on the benfits fiasco; having lived in Govan where the benefit rip off society was so rife that the girls all got pg deliberately at 15 so that they qualified for a flat in hte same tenament as their parents at 16 I understand your depression and your mates embarrassment...and as for the unfortunate workers made redundant my mates Dh has been made unemployed at 50 for the first time since he left school at 16 (inc 25yrs in the airforce)and is being treated like a idiot/criminal for the tiniest pittance and has been made to wait for it so long that the family have had to accept a "hardship hamper" from their church!..."bonkers" is the biggest understatement ever.

oh no..got ot go again..

floria hope you get better soon!

guess what, this afternoon after shampooing LO's hair with this organic whatits all natural stuff, his hair still did not smell all that nice. so i applied a bit of my pantene conditioner! did not rub it on his scalp, tried to keep it on his hair only and rinsed off asap. ah, his hair is all so soft and smells great prob not a good thing to do regularly, so much get baby conditioner. any recommendations?

may not be of any use heron but, due to DS1's allergies, we've never used anything but water on his hair (he's 3) and it's the cleanest shiniest hair in the house!

Don't use anything here either heron apart from the Oilatum she has in the bath water from the GP. She has eczema so I don't use any shop bought products.

Terrible that working people are probably the poorest. It's getting caught in that low pay bracket without any fringe benefits or help apart from Tax Credit. floria I bet there are a lot of people like your friend, sadly Decent people who end up on the bread line not through the willingness to work to earn a crust. steps down from her soap box and hands over to someone else

flora are you taking A to see the doc or letting it run it's course (sorry for the pun, none intended)?

The benefits debate comes up again and again, not surprising on a mums site, I guess. The number of people who would never dream of working, or of paying their own way, certainly gets me down, but however much more cash they might have I'm still convinced that their lives, and especially the lives of their DC, are immeasurably poorer than those of most MN posters. We (usually) make choices based on knowledge and thought, have education and articulacy in our favour, strive for stable relationships and can look forward to seeing our children grow up with the same advantages, and more. (and we sometimes treat ourselves to lovely clothes and accessories for happy social occasions and would never spend the money on fags and Red Stripe and crack).

I don't think that the teenage girls who get pregnant are doing it for the benefits, they're doing it because that's what their mothers did and nothing more appealing or challenging has ever entered their consciousness. As Tee said, withdrawing benefits won't stop people having babies, it will just make the lives of more children even worse. It's certainly not a New Labour phenomenon either; this has been going on for decades.

I do think Something Needs to be Done, for sure, to discourage people who can't support their own children from having more. I end up wondering whether the NHS could administer a mandatory Norplant to single unemployed mothers of two children, and then realise I'm starting to goose-step into all sorts of eugenic policies . In reality, a good start would be to stop all the false claimants and those who rent out their council houses etc. who cost us billions.

off to bed in a moment. MIL and her hubby popped over by chance, bless 'em. She cleaned the kitchen, made me a sweet tea, got Iris all ready for bed and then whizzed off again...FAB!
My stomach is just grinding...Oh, it's gonna be a long night

heron I only use stuff with no parabens or Sodium laurel sulphate (sp?) The one I've got at the moment that I love is Little Me It smells gorgeous and the bubble bath (which Iris loves) is also non-drying.

What happens with stuff like pantene is that it creates a 'build-up' of product and it'll all get lifeless and greasy.

floria Hope A is feeling sparkier - poor mite - I hope he's not feeling as rough as us.

Gawd, still grotty, may slope off...grrrr...feels sorry for self

Just saw your post ermintrude - can't argue with that!

Think that's what gets me down about education. I really feel as though a small(ish), yet clearly growing number of individuals, are creating problems within society which then leaches into education, especially in creating 'ghetto' schools.

We see it here and it touches our lives greatly. I get angry when I see government changes trying to reach DOWN to this level - it leaves Zero room for stimulation and aspiration - eh Voila! social mobility slows down. So, what's the point of working?

I have an issue with being allowed to leave school, uneducated (especially unable to read and write) and then immediately starting your signing on 'career'

ermintrude I was debating whether to post the Norplant programme of North America few years back but thought better of it for fear that fellow MN's would think I had turned into a facist overnight Glad you got it in instead!

Both ermintrude and JJ have hit the nail on the head with the general malaise, apathy, unwillingness to learn and zero aspirations. Happy to drift through life as long as there are beer, fags and a branch of Bright House around the corner. And yes, it does go in cycles and often the children (esp the daughters) perpetuate the cycle.

On a more important subject I've bought myself a nice new pair of pj's today and some ECCO heels.

JJ things sound bad at Jeannie towers. Really hoping that tomorrow you'll all be feeling much better. It's crap that you're all so bloomin' ill. Poor OH as well. I guess the gardening with his bro tomorrow has been postponed.

I don't know about going so far as to implant single mums with Norplant - how would you discriminate between acceptable and non acceptable single mums? lots of women are single mums through no fault of their own - would that mean they were denied another child?

What I have always thought is that anyone who wants benefits (who is capable) should have to earn them. If the mum can't work obviously with young fids or whatever, then the babydaddy should be chased to the ends of the earth to do something to support his kids even if it is scrubbing graffiti off walls. There'd be a lot less unwanted babies about then and NO fraud.

mrsb That was my Norplant dilemma; it very soon starts being judgemental and totalitarian rather than a sensible policy aimed at helping young mums. Agree absolutely that babyfathers should shoulder their responsibilities, financially and/or 'in kind' eg community schemes, and know that they'll be chased until they do.

I heard an interesting suggestion on the radio last week, that all couples who have children together should be treated as married - and therefore if they split, they have to have a proper settlement which takes partner and kids into account. Now, I don't think you should impose 'marriage' on people who have every right to choose NOT to be married, but the theory of partners having rights and responsibilities by dint of having children together seems to make sense. If it was made impossible to have a child 'casually' AND claim benefits for that child, it might make some people a bit less casual.

Meanwhile, I'm not forgetting how there are a great many people who, without the excuse of being members of the 'underclass', and without making any contribution to society, have amassed huge wealth using offshore bank accounts and tax dodges.... there are fraudsters at all levels and lots of hardworking people caught in the middle.

Bit depressing really. Night all..

Hello All xx

Thought I would just leave a quick message as I am 7 weeks pregnant and I am the big 40.

This will be my 3rd baby, from my previous marriage I have a son of 20 and a daughter of 18, quite an age gap there lol.

For the first few days of finding out all i kept saying.. even on my own out loud in the house was OH MY GOD!! lol

We are so happy though I really thought I wouldn't have another one but desperately wanted another. Had convinced myself I was going to start the change as for a little while I had very high hormone levels and was having tests as they didn't know why, I got the appointment through for the gynecologist and a couple of days later found out I was pregnant, ( levels were hight for quite a while before I was pregnant) wont find out now why they were high lol.

Will be good to chat to other mums similar age to me, looking forward to it

Sorry just realised this is longer than I expected it to be, trust me!! lol

Wend xx

Welcome wonderwitch. You'll find that you're probably one of the youngest on this thread Yes, you really are. A mere spring chicken in fact. Congrats on your pregnancy. It really can happen even at our age! LOL

I'm 42 and have 4 children; 23/20/17/11 months. Katherine is 11 months old, very much planned after a MC at 40. Born at 24 weeks gestation. Long story but all is reasonably well at the mo

There's a mix on this thread of those who are still baking their buns, and us who have took ours out of the oven Jump in with whatever you have to say. Must say also that this thread moves pretty quick. I think this is about it's 12th reincarnation. We like cake (although some are on weight loss regimes), daily mail website (although we'd never actually go out and buy it) and theme du jour seems to be nice clothing I'm sure you'll have something fresh to offer us though.

JJ how you feeling today? Hows the family? Is that cross still on the front door? I'm swigging back the Movicol and thinking of you. We're coming at this from opposite ends of the spectrum.

Totally agree that baby fathers should be made to pay up but when you watch the likes of J Kyle, it seems that half these women don't even know who the baby father is Casual, drunken liaisons blur the memory somewhat. Also I have known women in the past - career women here, not scrotes - who actively seek a successful, good looking, healthy (specimen?) male to father a baby they are wanting. Only he isn't party to knowing what the deal is and off she goes to have the baby and he has no knowledge of it at all! Ah the moral maze

It's grim up north here today. Rain and wind and here was me hoping to wear my new strappy sandals. No chance matey! More like welly weather.

Morning all!

Welcome wonderwitch! I am also 40 (JW calls me a youngster!) and my first baby is due end of June.

I haven't been saying much on this topic being, for all intents and purposes, a visitor to this country. But to an outsider, I do think the benefits system, whichever political party set it up, is very much to blame. Not that we don't have Welfare mothers in the US, and that the system over there isn't corrupt, it is and we do.

But I do think some of the programmes here set things up a bit easier, for abuse, I mean. For example, why not have a baby? It is, for all intents and purposes free. At least nothing out of pocket. Its easy to see it as free since it just comes out of your pay. Unless you don't have a job. In the States my baby would probably cost me $100,000 (thanks to my diabetes etc), which may or may not be covered by my insurance.

But I definitely agree that, worldwide, there has be more accountability for 'dead beat dads'!!

Wow, that was a novel. And I hope I haven't offended!