40+ mums-to-be and those who've 'popped' - come say hi, pull up a chair and have some cake!

[jeanjeannie]

Hello everyone - yet another thread. I'm expecting a call anyday soon from ITV - as I imagine we'll be prime candidates for taking over the Loose Women slot when they need a break

So, for anyone interested in joining in with us - just jump in and say Hi - we don't bite - unless you're disguised as a chocolate sponge cake

Ladies..................Take it away

I didn't dare read the fisting thread - now you lot have got me curious.

Triggles, I can virtually guarantee that it's not what you think it is...

iris Yes I have a somewhat small gap between my 3rd and 4th children We also have DSS who is 9 and lives with us full time. He has Asperger's. Can be challenging at times!

Didn't have a look at the fisting thread as I went to bed early. Might sneak a peek later if I get the chance.

JJ you missing in action again?

mrsb my advice is once you've got an idea of what you 'think' you can eat, go around the supermarket and start looking at the labels. You'll be amazed how much fat even seemingly innocuous stuff has in it. I think along the lines of fruit and veg base and things that I can put with it. For eg. I eat a lot of stir fries. I vary them with chicken and king prawns although I could have tuna with them. Watch the sauces though as they can be loaded with hidden fat and I use the squirty olive oil spray. After you've decided what you can have, then write a shopping list and don't detract from it.

Sorry I sound fanatical but you do have to keep your eye on the ball pretty much. Still, the results speak for themself

Anyone read this week's OK! mag? Well it didn't take long for the long rambling interview with Jack Tweed did it? She's not even in her grave yet. Full of rubbish which of course, isn't able to be verified as Jade is dead. He says: I'll never take my wedding ring off . Jade wanted me to meet someone new when she's gone He leaves a window open so that she can come back to him And more bull£hit along those lines. He's got more $$$$ in his eyes than I could count. Eugh.

Katona car crash is back in town. That woman seriously needs taking to one side, kicking the lout she calls hubby out, and sorting herself out. Jeez.

Good Morning!

Welcome iris! ::has huge wedge of cake and I don't even really like fruit cake!::

So I am speaking to my mum last night, bitching about how horrid I was feeling (some better this morning, just really tired last night) to which she replies 'well, what do you expect? Being pregnant at 40 is much harder than being pregnant at 20!'

Thanks for the sympathy, mum!

{hmm] Fisting thread...

Also, why do I need to watch President Obama drive from the Ambassador's house to Downing Street? This is news?

tee it's HUGE news. Apparently And oooh look, what is Michelle wearing? Heat, Closer et al will all have a pick over her outfits in next weeks editions no doubt.

Speaking from someone who had children in her twenties and again in her forties, I'm afraid I agree with your mum tee. Pregnancy last time around was much more tiring and generally yucky than the previous 3. Upside is that when K was born, although I don't have as much energy as in my twenties, I'm much more laid back and relaxed with her

Tis swings and roundabouts

mornin all

jw thanks for that, so would a skinless chicken fillet be ok? I'm thinking veg and salads mostly, with chicken or salmon. Oooh sounds like a celebrity diet!

Speaking of celebrities - loving Michelle's clobber - what she was wearing last night with the high sparkly belt effect and the sparkly cardi this morning. She looks like she has lost weight too.

Speaking of non- celebs - the Jack thing was inevitable unfortunately. I'd like to see his face if she 6did6 climb in the window to him, espcially since he couldn't even bear to be in the room when she was drawing her last breaths! Still, it should go quiet on that front when he is back in the slammer for a while.

tee I don't know whether it is that much different being pg at 20 and 40 - I have done both (well, 18) and didn't find much difference (well, nothing that the extra five or six stone in weight couldn't account for ) There is so much variation between women and even between pregnancies anyway. Although it does sound like it has come as a bit of a surprise to you quite how yuck pregnancy is. You see a lot of threads on here with women being surporised at how rough it can be. I hate it myself.

Right off to a meeting all day (on three hours sleep and having been thrown up on at 7am)

have a good one ladies

jj where art thou?

xx

Hello everybody. Very sunny in the midlands, and actually have the energy to get some washing out today so that's good.

mrsb and JW - It might be worth checking out the F2 books because they're full of low-fat recipes - the curry is good, using only one tbsp veg oil for 4, and my whole family like it. Lots of lentils and pulses too which are a good way of getting both protein and unprocessed carbs, as well as fibre, and more filling/better for you than meat. When I was doing low-fat I found the meat or fish plus a pile 'o veg on the side did get a bit boring, and looked forward to a big bowl of 'student' food like chickpea curry . Amazing what you can get used to...

Tee I think that if you already have DC pregnancy at any age is going to be harder simply in terms of getting far less rest. With DD I used to come home from work and put my feet up until DH returned to cook my tea. I would lie in at weekends and read the papers. Ah, bliss. No such luck with 2nd child. For first babies, the relative difficulty of pregnancy depends on a whole pile of stuff including how fit and healthy you are, whether you can sleep, whether you get nausea and sickness etc. all of which can happen at any age. Anyway, not much point your ma pointing out such worldly wisdom now, is there? .

I reckon it's been harder for me this 3rd time not because I'm 6 yrs older or my symptoms are worse but because I'm not working outside the home - I loved my job and had a v strong work ethic so that kept me going, whereas working from home - or pretending to - has brought out the slob in me just a bit too much and I have lots of time to wallow in my symptoms. Really just cannot wait for this baby to come out and will then be v happy to hang up my babymaking boots for the last time

Oh no mrsb I was not expecting this to be easy, between my possible fibromayalga (which I will never learn how to spell) and my diabetes and my age. I was a mess to begin with and then add 24 extra pounds and a baby!!

Sorry to hear about the 3 hours sleep and the puke.

JW I figured it was swings and roundabouts. Of course if I said that to my mum she'd look like this: as its not an American saying!

Yes, JJ where are you???

Fark me. Just had cc statement through and someones had away with DH's details and been on a spree. The bank must have caught onto this and stopped the card. This was mid March. They bought a f**king car amongst other things on it!!!! jeez.

Morning everyone (hello "Tee" - I feel honoured you tried my fruit cake)

I agree with ermintrude that having other DCs to look after makes pg harder - though I don't comment to my mum about it anymore because she was obviously superhuman "well I managed to look after 2 of you - do all my housework/take you places "and" I was working so I don't know why you're so tired/struggling today etc etc" It's very undermining but I'm sure it's mainly because parents recollections are rose tinted (as are mine of pg & delivery of DD at 21, if I'm being honest )
The diabetes definately makes things worse IMO. I've been having to watch what I eat & monitor bloods since 9 wks (GD with both DS') things seem ok so far [massive fingers crossed emoticon] apart from a general hike when they both had chicken pox

off to follow ermintrude's fine example & get some washing on the line.

OMG johnworf that's hideous!!! Didn't the cc company let you know when they twigged? Are you going to be able to get it all back?

Oh frack JW. That so totally sucks! I hope you get it sorted.

iris I've also heard 'why have you gained so much weight? I only gained 10 lbs with your brother and 11 lbs with you!!' Guess I'm just a pig, mum.

I had diabetes before I became pregnant so I've been dealing with it for awhile, iris.

iris66 they refused my DH's credit card when he went shopping mid March. He rang up CC company and they said there'd been a security breach and they'd stopped the card and would reissue, which they did. No explanation as to why they did this at the time. Now statement has come, we can see why! Why don't they inform you what they're doing? Mind you, wouldn't have made any difference as they'd spent loads in 3 days.

We should get it all back we're told.

mrsb wouldn't relish an all dayers on that much sleep and puked on. Deep joy huh? Anyway, so we don't bore everyone with dieting, let me know how you get on via Facebook

Nice day here too. No washing out as yet but nappies are in the washing machine as I type Off out into Bury to do some errands. Decided to start K on the baby Eye Q which is what DSS is taking (except his are for older sprogs) and has helped with his Asperger's.

OMG jw at first I thought you must be playing an April fools joke on us but unfortunately not thats just horrendous!
How the hell can they purchase a CAR? would the registering of the car help to track them down? I hope so!
Its really scary how easy it is even when we all go the lengths we do to protect our identity and details.
Good thing you should get it all back.
We had a call from our cc company a week or so ago to inform us an irregular purchase had been made on the card and for us to clarify it was correct, luckily on this occasion it was, shame they didn't do the same for your DH.

Oh no mrsb so much we have in common at the moment...teething babies and vomiting can think of better things I'd rather have in common, lets see...shoe shopping, holiday to a much warmer climate, dress size eight

Can't comment on the age/pregnancy issue as first at 22, second at 25 and third at 35 were all very similar, last at 40 was harder but I think that was due to twins as opposed to age, at least thats what I tell myself as I hobble off on my Zimmer frame to ride the stanner to get DT up from nap

I'm 41 and am in the very early stages of pregnancy. There's a lot of negative stuff out there and I'd love to support or positive messages from other mums. I'm a bit worried about miscarriage, as I've had one before. No other kids... but a lovely, supportive partner!

Hello all - sorry I've been AWOL - been up to my neck in it and doing a tour yesterday of playdates...didn't get back home till 7.30 last night and out again at 9am today....ZZZzzz

OMG JW ....bloody hell Hope they're going to be ok about it and not make DH responsible for anything. A car!!! Hope it was a good one... That eye Q thing looks good - we were told about fish oils by the HV who assessed on that autism check...I'd forgotten. I'm going to get some - nothing ventured and all that.

Not managed to catch up on all the thread...sorry, just sat down and Verity is already muttering. Was up three times last night - so I'm off this afternoon to get some formula.....I really need a break

Iris ...hello, welcome and pats on back for having a great name!!! Not that I'm biased in any way

mrsB the steamed fish and veg does sound like a celeb diet - ah, you'll be looking like one of Girl's Aloud very shorty!

OK - I'm off to faff with my computer and download some stuff...but I think Verity will demand attention before I achieve anything!

I'm 41 and am in the very early stages of pregnancy. There's a lot of negative stuff out there and it would be great to have some support from other mums out there. I'm concerned about miscarriage, as I've already had one (when I was 35). No other kids, but a lovely, supportive partner!

hi Daisy, welcome CONGRATS on your pregnancy. i know what you mean about lots of negative stuff out there.

I am 43 and just had my 2nd one 11 weeks ago. i have a DS1 who is nearly 5. I am an older mum and like you, when i was pregnant with my DS1, i was terrified after reading all the negative stuff. luckily i had a really supportive obgyn who told me to ignore all those negative stuff. important thing is the individual. statistics used to make me worry so much!

so relax, enjoy your pregnancy. look after yourself and rest and eat well!

Welcome Daisy and CONGRATS! Heron is right, there is a lot of negative stuff out there but try not to let it get to you.

I had DD1 at 41 and had DD2 at 42!! Actually I was lucky as all the maternity staff around me were very laid back about age and if anything it was something they're seeing more of.

I'm typing this with a 10mth old on my boobs and a 2.5yr old upstairs shouting at the cat!
It isn't a job beyond the capabilities of a 40
something!!

Enjoy it, relax and congratulate yourself on having a lovely DP

Daisy welcome and congrats! There is a lot of negative stuff - sometimes too much info can be incredibly scary! I'm 43 and 22wks pregnant with a history of m/c, so I was quite paranoid this time around. I tried very hard to focus on the positive stuff only, but it can be tough!

Welcome daisy!

As the others have said, there is too much negative stuff! I'm 40 and expecting my first in about 3 months. My age hasn't even been mentioned by my MW or OB.

Hello All
Welcome and congratulation Iris ..is there any fruitcake left please?...and Daisy...as everyone has said, ignore the negative stuff, I was told in my 20's that I a) couldn't concieve and b) due to a genetic condition I would lose half my embryos if I did ...it took me until I was 40 to try and was pg within 3 months, sadly they were right about the genetics but 3 yrs and 6 m/cs later I had my perfect ds who is now 18mths old... age didn't come into it...and I'd do it again at 45 if only dh would agree to it.
As for it being harder physically at 40+ though I have no 20s pg of my own to compare with, I can honestly say that I suffered no more in pregnancy/labour and in some cases considerably less that the other, much younger girls on my antenatal thread and I don't find myself whinging about lack of sleep/exhaustion any more than those who still continue on our postnatal thread or those younger mums with similar age children who I meet at Alexs' activities/classes do now.
JW I'm so glad the surgeon with the good bedside manner is also sensible...such a relief. but as I said elsewhere earlier I'm shocked and angry for you at the cc companys'handling of your dhs card...I do hope they sort things out quickly.

Thanks so much for all the lovely remarks - this is fantastic and so encouraging.
I have been a bit worried about how the gps/obstets staff are going to treat me, but worrying won't get me anywhere will it?
I'm trying hard not to let things stress me at work - I work in journalism and it has its challenges like all jobs. Any tips on how to cope if you feel as though it's all getting too much some days?
Again - thanks so much for everyone's posts.

Daisy you come on here and let it all out......you can bitch and moan to your hearts content and eat cyber cake...and we will all join you...its the best therapy ever!

Welcome Daisy! I'm 41 as well, and 20 weeks pregnant with a baby we thought would never happen. This is my 4th, but we'd been trying for nearly 6 years, with only a failed pregnancy at 13 weeks to show for it (2 years ago). I totally understand your fears- it all seems so random. We'll all cross fingers for this one.

On the subject of feeling rough, having been pregnant at 24, 26, 28, 38 and now 40/41, my all time worst for feeling rough was the failed one at 38, followed by the one at 24 (resulting in my son), then the one at 26 (DD1), then the one at 28 (DD2). This one has been wonderful- pretty much textbook. I don't think it depends on age at all, although your health may have a part to play, but rather more on the individual pregnancy.