Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VII - Gusset Reporters and Knicker Checkers welcome

[SparkyMalarky]

oooh, I do love a new thread

Yes, I do sneak on occasionally to read up whilst having my lunch or breakfast on my "study" days, but know that if I start posting, it is difficult to stop. It's not a matter of being disciplined, but sheer panic at having to have 3 assignments in before the lo arrives in 4 weeks time! Any management accounting experts or library management systems users out there for assistance??

Hope you get your extension dan - don't see why you shouldn't - and that you are not stressing yourself about it. There are far more important things going on in our lives right now. On the gp/mw/hb issue - 1) your GP sounds like a misogynistic pillock. Ignore him and get your usual chap to sort the px for you. 2) get as many contact numbers (office/mobile/bleeps) as you can for the mw - they should be contactable at all times. If it happens again, ring your ANC or the mat wards to see if they can get hold them in any other way. Alternatively, you could go to your gp surgery and threaten to deliver right there if they don't find you a bloody mw right now! 3) hb - wow, am full of admiration for you. Not for me personally, but will always support other people in what they want to do. Good on you, mate - hope it all goes well.

teacher - hope you are ok under the circumstances. Let those around you look after you and lean on them for support as life slowly gets back to some form of normality.

fozzie & vjay - it is to be be expected that the slightest twinge will throw you into waves of paranoia, but try to stay positive and calm about it. We all cope with getting through the scary early stages in very different ways. Hope your lo's settle down and stop giving you cause for concern.

dbno - are the outin laws staying for a while? Will they still be around when the lo arrives? Are they nice & helpful or the type of PILs that prompt AIBU threads? My PILs go on holiday the week I am probably going to have my cs - sigh of relief on that issue. It's not that they are horrid, just a bit suffocating for my comfort. I have huge personal space ishoos that fil especially just doesn't understand. Am bobbing myself in case there are no single rooms available in the post natal ward. Probably more concerned about that than the cs itself - know all the anaesthetists & many of the other staff, so I know I am in good hands delivery-wise.

crunch - sorry to read about your problems with dh - hope things are resolved soon.

herby - I had a similar experience with cmw unable to find fhb at around 16 w. Turns out had anterior placenta and lo was hiding behind it. Took a very worrying and uncomfortable 15 mins of prodding and shifting around before finally found the hb. Glad things are going well with you.

See what happens if I start posting?!? Will stop wittering now and get on with some work. Take care everyone .

villagemum I've only just seen what your friend said to you silly bint. People think they're saying something comforting (i.e. it probably was thought in the context of "VM doesn't come across as very stressed ATM, so that was probably what did it last time"). My sister came out with the corker "You're not as fat as you were last time, so that's probably why things are going so well" (cue my brain going "So last time it was my fault because I was a size 12-14 and not a 10?"). I wish they gave out a manual of Things Not to Say

Hi villagemum - I feel for you too. People do say some incredible things. My (famously tactless) hv came round to do dd's pre-school check and said: "Oh, I see you've had three miscarriages. That's very sad. Still, it's better than having to bring up a disabled child, isn't it?" Luckily I'm used to her little ways or I might have been tempted to reply along the lines of: "Gosh you're right - that makes me feel so much better about watching three of my babies bleed out of my body." Not to mention the fact that it's a slightly stupid thing to say to me given that both my sisters' eldest boys have learning disabilities. Ooh, I'm feeling a bit ranty now - must practise relaxation breathing.

crunch and wmmc - in-laws mean well, but are unfortunately more than a little bit trying. Well, PIL is OK (when he's not drinking) if not very mobile, so we're limited in where we can go. But MIL could talk all four legs, mane, tail, eyeballs and several internal organs off a donkey and has a habit of telling the same pointless anecdote over and over again until your ears are bleeding. She does pull her weight around the house though which will be very useful, and as we have no other options for caring for dd if things kick off at night I am determined to make the best of a bad job. I will retire to my room with the vapours (and the portable DVD player) if it all gets too much. At least they have sense enough not to try and tell me how to be a parent, so I will think myself lucky.

dbno it's tough having to compromise your own space during labour for dd to be looked after. Make sure that they are fully prepared to go to their room - rather than you retreat to yours. You will need to feel secure in your own space. My PILs are lovely, but I couldn't cope with them being anywhere near me while in labour. My MIL has to have her own way if she thinks she's right (again, has never interfered with the raising of the dcs, so big bonus there) but I can't imagine anything worse than asking her to leave the room and her insisting that what I need is a cup of tea and a chat to take my mind off it! It would ruin our relationship forever when I finally snapped But they are nice, so I can't complain.

I can't believe your HV said that to you! Surely she should know better

my god alot happens in this thread in a few hours. well went for my scan yesterday, an external one this time, and there are two babies for sure both with their little heartbeats thumping away. got my first photo i couldnt stop looking at. im 10 weeks. backs in 3 weeks for my ante natel scan.

fozzie hope your scan goes well today and you see the heartbeats.

VM how are you feeling today, ms still with me, mw told me yesterday to drink ginger ale and eat at least every 3 hours and at night go no longer then 9 hours without food.

Valz - twin beans - so exciting!

DBNO i know, im a bit shocked but over the moon, cant wait til my next scan, they never come quick enough.

dan, if it makes you feel better, no way would I have been able to do my dissertation when pg. Didn?t really want to say that earlier in case it put you off! for you about your doctor, by the way ? what an arse!

villagemum - I feel quite sorry for your friend now. Maybe some idiot GP like fozzie?s has told her this. She needs to know it?s not true for her own peace of mind? Glad the rant helped you, though. When I mc?d I did feel a bit indignant (a thought often expressed here) that people could abuse their bodies and still carry babies to term and I, at that point, thought that maybe I wouldn?t be able to (carry a baby to term that is, not abuse my body). To add insult to injury, that sex-change ladyman had just had a baby and there were pics of him/her pg all over the press. Sorry if that sounds terribly un-pc, but it was really a bit much at the time?

dbno - glad your dh is back ? and quite right too that you should be the centre of the universe right now. I would be most put out if I wasn?t being treated as such by my family .

wmmc - in sheer admiration. I don?t care what you say, you have a will of iron, panic-induced or otherwise.

valz - so exciting about your twins

I?m soooo busy at work, but distracted at the same time. Bad combination. I just have a head full of baby (particularly since he is having a particularly active couple of days), and frankly I?d rather be home MNing all day. I?m feeling obsessed again like I was the first few months. Had a good three months in the middle where I?d got used to being pg and it wasn?t so mentally all-consuming, but now I?m thinking all the time about Bo and what life will be like. Guess this is normal

valz, wonderful news about your twins! It also explains why you're feeling so sick, I'm sure - those double hormones being pumped out! I'm still feeling nauseous but it seems to be a fraction less intense at times. Depends very much on how tired I am...

daisy, thanks again; I'm going to try and hold on to what you say. Feel pretty obsessed at the moment and have tried to 'relax', 'distract myself', etc, but I'm afraid it doesn't really work; there's still an undercurrent of anxiety and I can't ever just seem to go 'whooosh - that's all good then - I'm calm now'. Then I start to worry again about being worried and the effects it might have... nightmare. Thank god I have that scan coming up on Saturday.

Quick question: In the past couple of days I've started to find Bo's movements more uncomfortable (and particularly sore on right side between belly button what's left of my waist). I haven't previously found any other kicking painful (except for the ones in the cervix (ouch)). Is it just because he's getting bigger, and the movements are stronger (I'm 30 weeks now)? Anyone else feel this...?

Thanks all.

x

valz thats great news how exciting xx

Im so emotional right now, I saw my little baby with heartbeat, it is the first time ive experienced this and my god how amazing is it xxxx im so happy right now

'belly button and what's left of my waist', I mean.

fozzie, that's wonderful. I was euphoric for hours the first time I saw Bo's hb at 8 weeks. Enjoy the feeilng

Congrats to Valz and Fozzie

Had my scan this morning and am over the moon as got to see the heartbeat. All fine apparently. I am almost 7 weeks so about what I'd guessed. Baby will be due on 12 September.

Now going to focus on getting past the 12 week mark.

Great news on the scans - Fozzie and Valz - twins, how exciting !! i have a friend who is due twins just after I am due (actually we have about 4 friends with twins - I think we are a curse/blessing on our friends !!).

Herby - what a terrifying moment - but glad all is well and you got to see Cromwell again.

Crunch - glad you and DH are talking. Its really not what you need right now (stating bleeding obvious !).

Dan - talking of what you don't need right now I dn't think you need that eejit of a GP at the moment. Why are some doctors so great and others just make you want to scream ???

WMMC - you are indeed impressive with your studying. I did proffesional exams a bit later than the norm but didn't have children (did organise my wedding at the same time as one set) and that was bad enough but on top of having children/being pregnant that takes dedication !!

daisyj - I'm a couple of weeks ahead of you and do get some painful kicks sometimes. I think they sometimes get your bladder or some other vital organ () or sometimes its just hte suddenness that is a surprise. I guess they are running out of room !!

DBNO - hope you're doing ok and not feeling the strain too much. I have a friend who is now 9 days overdue and v. fed up !

Hello to everyone else !!

Not much to report here - saw a pregnant lady who looked about 4 or 5 months today and she thought I was very imminent and it turned out we are due about the same time. Just shows how bumps can be different (She was about twice my height in my defense so had mroe room to hide it ).

X-post ready - great news !!

I got the date for my 10wk scan through this morning - it's next Tuesday. Am very pleased as I only booked in on Monday, so thought I might have to wait much longer. The midwife requested an early scan and also referred me for consultant led care - she was lovely.

wwmc - I'm a management accountant. I am now intrigued by the connection with library systems! What are your assignments on?

Well done on all your scans girls! And Valz, twins! How amazing that must have been!

I've got a new symptom - constant fullness. After eating, it takes AAAGES for food to leave my stomach. Maybe it's the fact that my tights are getting tight around my 'waist'! It's annoying, as my lunch is still hanging around, but I've got to eat a pizza soon! Off to see Seasick Steve at the Barbican tonight!

Hello everyone, I'm back after nearly SIX hours at the hospital. Thankfully they found (and showed me) the heartbeat very quickly but then the baby started jumping around so much they couldn't do the measurements they needed to do re the nuchal etc. So after an hour, the dr sent me off to have a walk in the hope the baby would calm down. And it did, but then it was in a position where she couldn't really see what she wanted to see so she sent me off AGAIN.

Third time lucky and she got all the measurements she needed then I had to wait for the results. When she came out with those she called me into a little room and I started thinking that this was obviously the "bad news" room (partly because there was a young couple in there being given bad news). And then she said that my risk of Downs had gone from 1 in 15 based on my age alone (because I'm ancient) to 1 in 511!! Naturally I started crying at that point.....

But I'm SO relieved. No need for a CVS and beause it was all at Kings I know I've had the gold standard of scanning. Can start going public with the news now!

Valz, Fozzie and ready - really pleased your scans went well too.

evening ladies,

add me to the good scan news today list. Had my scan this afternoon and a little blob with a fluttering hb seen on the screen!!

Congrats too to Rachel, Fozzie and ready.

Glad to hear your DH is back youknownothing hope things get better

and valz - wow twins fantastic news.

Hope everyone else is ok

Ooh a busy day!! napa, rachel, Fozzie and ready - brilliant!! And as for valz - wow! We haven't had twins on this thread since I have been on it so I am very excited for you! You will also get lots of monitoring as you go along.

Wmmc I KNEW it, I KNEW I could SEE you!! You are right about priorities, I am just too chicken to contact my tutor, feel like a naughty schoolgirl!Keep telling myself I will do it tomoro...I will, I will. Somebody shout at me tomoro if I haven't - not you wmmc you are too busy.

Right the fecking bastard GP spoke to my mw today and is not happy about the hb [anger] cos of my age and the fact that its my first one. He is basically saying I shouldn't do it. I am so pissed off with him... apparently he kept asking her if I was aware of the risks...does he think I am a moron - what does he think I have been doing for the last feckin 7 months...would I really put my baby at risk? I have talked about it at every stage with everyone who I have seen including 3 different midwives, a hosp midwife and my own lovely GP. I am not an idiot.

Anyway there are fecking risks in hosp too - wanker. The mw is new to the practice and was nice about it all under the circumstances - ahe did say he was 'going on' about stuff...As a sort of a way forward, she has suggested and indeed made me an appt to go to hosp again on Mon to talk to a consultant about the dates - I have a very wide window of when I am due (from 4th to 11th Feb...) so they might want to force me to agree to an induction at some pre agreed date. But you know what - they can FECK OFF! I will ask questions, agree to jump thru their hoops, and then when it comes to it I will stay home and proceed as planned. So THERE!

NO-ONE else has said anything like this up til now including the hosp. I am 39 btw - not too old as i well know from on here and elsewhere.

And if he refuses to prescribe the meptid thinking that will 'force' me into hospital then I will bloody well do without it and let him shove it up his ARSE. I don't think he can force this issue as I KNOW I have choices...(someone tell me I am right)?

Right I think I had better go and practice some calm breathing now...

Ahh, its not [anger]....

dan - aaarggghhhhh - that's outrageous. You are right, you are right. You stick to your guns - although why you should have to be fighting for this now, when you need your energy to prepare to bring your lo into the world... Well, anyway, it makes me mad. There is no reason why you shouldn't have an hb - as you say, there are risks in hosp too. The whole point is that if the mw thinks things aren't proceeding as they should then you will be transferred to hospital. What you need right now is support to build up your confidence so you can relax for your birth - ignore him, he's a twat, and concentrate on talking to the mw and anyone else who will support you. Don't let him undermine you - he is wrong, wrong, wrong. If you have to talk to him again then ask him why his opinion is so at odds with that of all the other healthcare professionals you have encountered over the past few months (and why he feels so threatened by women who want to take control of childbirth). He clearly has ishoos, frankly, and isn't worth dwelling on if you can possibly avoid it.

And...relax.

I'm sure someone else will be along soon who can offer you calm non-ranting advice, but as I seem to be the only one around at the moment, I thought I'd put in my tuppence ha'porth.

I'll shout at you tomorrow to contact your tutor if you like. x

Hello.
SO
DEEP BREATH, deany takes deep breath......

Been trying for 18 months, had 3 mcs....

2 days late...very faint positive test.

What to do now though.

Experience tells me, that a BFP means absolutely fuck all. I will not allow my self to think ahead, i go to the loo and just expect to see blood there.
Not gonna go to the Docs, not gonna think about it, not gonna do anything at all. IF i get to 10 weeks i am going to self refer to the EFAU.(To tell me if there is a viable pregnancy there, ie a heart beat, again means fuck all, got to 13 weeks on my 2nd pregnancy and still mcd)
Trouble is, can any one tell me how many weeks i may be if i am 2 days and my lmp was 21st Dec? Then i will vaguely know when to self refer.

deany Ovulation usually happens about 14 days after the first day of your last period. So fertilisation probably happened around the 4th of Jan making you 18 days pregnant in the literal sense, and 4 weeks pregnant in the standard sense (IYSWIM).

I got to over 13 weeks with my second pregnancy when I miscarried. Was yours a missed miscarriage or do you not know? i.e. was it scanned and too small for dates? If that is the case (as it was for me) then you can scan earlier and be pretty sure things are going differently. There's a point at 8 weeks where the placenta takes over from the egg sack which is a danger point. Odds of things being ok increase after that.

(Someone correct me if I'm wrong)

Hope things go well for you, and we're all here to listen if you need us.

dan that GP is a twunt. All issues will have been considered prior to this point and the fact that he is causing problems now is unbelievably unprofessional of him!

You are quite right, you can do what you choose! I had ds2 at home, as well as planning this one there too, and did it all without drugs. Not to say it didn't hurt but it was an infinitely better experience than my pethidined hospital birth, where I felt out of control and unsafe.

My MW is supportive of HB (sort of) but did say that they currently have staff shortages so it might depend on when I have it as to whether or not I can have a home birth I sat there and smiled sweetly, all the time thinking "No it bloody doesn't! I'm not coming to hospital so someone will be coming to me!" But no point in causing ructions just yet

So many positive scans that's such great news, and twins for val too? How exciting. Hope you're all well today.

Oh and before I forget DAN contact your tutor!