Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VII - Gusset Reporters and Knicker Checkers welcome

[SparkyMalarky]

oooh, I do love a new thread

Morning all

crunch hope you're feeling a little better today. None of this is your fault, any form of depression is a very selfish illness and they can never see it or the effects it has. Everything is always someone else's fault (I lived with a manic depressive for about 6 years - exhausting)
If it helps the pain, I suspect none of it is done to hurt you, rather it's him trying to justify his own choices/actions and you all get hurt as a by product. Not much comfort I know, but as you said he was your best friend before it can be harsh to think that they now are deliberately trying to hurt you - so if you can try and remember he's not then it might just take the edge off the pain.

Also easy for me to say outside of the situation. Lots of hugs for you.

Lola glad you had a lovely break. Grr for you on your auntie's comments! I too have started the thickening and now just look like I'm eating too much. Add that to the fact I'm eating all the time to get rid of the nausea and people just keep giving me 'those glances' that just scream 'put down the cake fatty!' As soon as we've gone public I'm going to start to wear the tops I have that say 'baby under construction' or some such thing!

sydneysuze great that you've got your bag sorted now. One more thing ticked off the list!

As for me, I'm in a dilemma. My nephew was born 2 days ago and we're due to visit today. I've woken up with a sore throat though and ds seems to have a slight dicky tum. Do you all think I should make my apologies and wait until next weekend to visit? (It's over an hour each way so a weekend job) As he's only 2 days old I don't want to take any bugs up there, but I also want to see him and don't want to be rude.

Any advice gratefully recieved!

Sorry not to reply individually to all your lovely posts. Just wanted to say (another) enormous thank you to you all. You have been such a huge support through all this. I can't begin to tell you how much.

Feeling a little better today. I just want to ask you all a quick question:-

Yesterday I committed the immortal sin of self-pity and said to H that I was sad and jealous of all the women with supportive DHs in their final month of pregnancy ( jealous? How could this be?!) H's reply was that this was unfair because he probably does lots of things that other DHs don't.

So... a quick poll please. For all his faults H can fill a dishwasher and give a good massage.

Would you like to swap?

Lola great to see you back - was starting to get worried about you (amazing what the imagination can do with absolutely no evidence whatsoever!). Glad to hear you had a good break and yah boo sucks to your aunty - there are no 'shoulds' with pg weight. I'm in a very similar position to you as I look huge and I'm only 14+5 weeks. Remember you carried Thomas for 17+5 so your body knows exactly where it needs to put on weight and is in fact being very efficient in storing up your reserves for breastfeeding. Shame we can't help wishing it would start doing that a bit later down the track tho isn't it? . Last week a woman I work with who is famous for her lack of tact said to me: 'I have to ask, are you getting fat or are you pregnant again?'. Nice eh? Alas I wish I had been able to think of a witty reply. At the moment I feel like this baby must be in a very strange position indeed as it's my bum, thighs and boobs which are doing most of the expanding

Will be thinking of you loads this week, such a milestone for you both to get through. I think it's great that you have had such different experiences all the way through this pg - roll on 18 weeks

Scotlass lovely to see you back too. And you have every reason to be too knackered to post. Know what you mean about reluctance to shop - pretty sure if I'm lucky enough to get to 40 weeks this time the baby will be sleeping in a drawer for the first week... Had to go in to Mothercare yesterday to buy a rubber duck (for husband - don't ask!) and was so paranoid I couldn't even look at any of the baby things!

Scarlotti I would phone ahead and ask the mother directly if she wants you bringing potential coldy bugs on a visit - I have many friends who would rather people stayed away than brought nasties.

Morning everyone else - hope you're all having a fine weekend of it.

Right I need a less self-indulgent post

Lola at dh's aunt for you. What a stupid thing to say. I seem to put on all my weight by the time I'm at your stage and then just the bump grows You must treat yourself to a gorgeous top to make you feel beautiful again. And please don't listen to stupid people. She had no right to say it at all. Let yourself feel whatever you need to this week. If you're happy that's fine and good, if you're sad, that's fine too and you may find yourself both. Just let yourself feel it all.

Scotlass time is definitely ticking on. I'll race you to babydom! First one there gets the sore nipples!

herby glad baby started kicking again, a quiet day is always unnerving.

Wheely nice to see sleeplessness hasn't driven you away yet

sydney cam definitely empathise with the clementine fixation - although I have moved on to flapjacks now

daisyj thank you for the reassurance that I'm not going mad (feel like it sometimes)

scarlotti I echo sydney - call them and ask what they'd prefer. That way they know you want to come but can make an informed choice for what they want.

tattifer putting on my steel toe-caps as we speak. How are you holding up?

Waves at everyone and blows some kisses.

scotlass 4 weeks wow - my top tip is sort out some clothe4s to wear after - the inbetweeny stuff - or you will be living in those pj's!!

Rose is asleep in Pauls arms at the mo and I am debating putting her in pram and taking her out for walk (in the Stokke which I tell you is the most fantastic pram and gets more comments than she does!) or going back to bed - if I knew it was a proper sleep I would go with the bed option...up at 2 5 and 7 last night but struggling to get her back down again. She is mostly cute and lovely tho and is starting to smile. She is wearing her first two piece outfit today too - leggings and a top - but frankly I am sticking with the babygro's generally as they are so much easier!

Tsom congrats on Seth!! And sticky sticky thoughts to one and all....

Scarlotti I would defo phone a head & explain how you are feeling. Newly mother might make the decision for you & then you won't feel so bad. Prob better to wait until you are 100% though..

Ladies, I should be thankful about the results of my scan yesterday but I am still so scared. I just want some reassurance that others felt / feel that same way as I & that I am not going mad
I am constantly worried about sneezing, going to the loo etc etc. I'm worried about moving too much in bed (& right now I continually toss & turn). Last night I had an almighty headache & I tried everything to get rid of it before having to revert to paracetamol - now I know I shouldn't be takng any type of tablets but this headache was bad & the doc did say paracetamol was ok to use if really needed. I only took one tablet, just enough to take the edge of.

I think I am going to worry myself silly throughout this pg. Any advice for me? Apart from the obvious, stop worrying! x

hopeful I felt exactly the same. In fact I cried when I was given the good news and walked out a bit zombified. I only started to feel at all happy about it 2 days later (and that was an apprehensive happy).

dan bed is always good, but so's a walk. Rose sounds gorgeous. It's a beautiful day here - hope you've got one just like it.

Crunch I know what you mean. The other half had tears in his eyes also, losing our last pg really got to him. All I can do is prayer that all is good with this pg & that I get to meet him / her in Nov. God that sounds like ages away! Sometimes I just wish I could fast forward at least a few months & then I might relax a little more..

Crunch I know what you mean. The other half had tears in his eyes also, losing our last pg really got to him. All I can do is prayer that all is good with this pg & that I get to meet him / her in Nov. God that sounds like ages away! Sometimes I just wish I could fast forward at least a few months & then I might relax a little more..

Hopeful don't feel bad for being anxious. You are allowed to feel how you feel. There is a huge expectation that you should be really happy (particularly after a scan). My mum couldn't understand why I wasn't swinging from the chandeliers, she kept repeating "But it's ok, you saw it and it was fine!" and all I could think is "It was fine, but is it now?". It did ease off after 15 weeks or so. And I did get a doppler which for me was very comforting (I know some people get more panicked by them).

You are doing all you can to protect your little one, keep reminding yourself of that fact x

crunch - for your poll, thanks but no thanks . He really doesn't seem to be getting it does he that you need him emotionally not just practically. Mine's crap at massage though - my heart goes out to you though cos I know what a difference it's making to my life having DH home when I was used to coping on my own. You're perfectly entitled to have some self pity and be a bit - after all he was there for you before with your boys so you know what he's missing out on and it's a really tiring emotional time for us. ,,big hug in a non MN manner>> And not fair - I really don't want sore nipples - you better deliver before me

sydney and lola ignore all the comments about how you look. it's quite bizarre really how people think they can make comments to pg ladies they'd never dream of doing to non pg ones. I'm the opposite and have been lucky enough to stay quite neat and just have baby bump but that got me so paranoid I ended up having a growth scan last week and it's a huge baby apparently!! You naturally put on around your hips in the 1st and 2nd trimester in order to accommodate the extra weight which is a precious baby. As for the boobs well they're preparing themselves in case they are needed to feed that precious baby. So I say rise above it girls - when we're struggling to find time to eat and are running around after newborn babies we'll soon be back to normal.

hopeful you're definately not alone with your feelings, when you've had bad news before scans always hold a bittersweet experience. The first 16wks was a nightmare for me and I only really began relaxing a bit after the 20wk anomaly scan. Only advice for you is to try and take one day at a time, literally and do what you can to distract yourself when the worry begins to take over. Remember it's outwith your control - our mc's didn't happen cos we did anything wrong, we were just the unlucky ones and all we can do is wish for strong sticky beans the next time.

scarlotti hope you're feeling better and either enjoyed your trip to new baby nephew or are having a lazy weekend. I've had a bloomin cold for a week and a half now and can't seem to shake it. Am wondering whether breathlessness is due to the cold now rather than humungous baby.

dan great to hear from you, I can't believe how serene and maternal you sound . Rose sounds like a wee dream and I say go for the bed option (2,5 and 7 OMG I've been trying to forget that bit.) I saw a dad pushing a Stokke yesterday and do feel a pang for it but I know I'd just have set myself up for grumbling grannie so stuck to the bugaboo.

DD is away at a party and DH is out cycling (sunshine in Scotland at last) so I'm making the most of having the computer to myself instead of that pair hogging it.

hopeful don't worry about how you're feeling, I'm exactly the same. The scan was only last Monday but the reassurance has gone already. I don't think I'll be relaxing about it much until after 12 weeks.

I ended up ringing my brother and they felt it would be better for me to stay away. It's the right thing to do and i hope they realise that I'd have loved to have gone up and seen him. It's difficult when families are further apart I think as people can get the wrong idea.

crunch hope you're feeling brighter. For what it's worth, the odd massage and dishwasher filling doesn't make up for the lack of support and care. I know some are more helpful and supportive than others (mine sadly isn't one of them!) but even the ones that could do with some training are a darn sight more honest, supportive and caring than your dh is being at the moment.

Hi all, been soaking up the sun today, trying to pretend that feeling all the pregnancy symptoms might be nothing but a cruel joke at mine and dh's expense.

I have now added to my cravings - lucozade. I can't stand the stuff. Usually makes me sick. Now, however, oatcakes and lucozade and the only things keeping the nausea at bay. How cruel is this joke going to be if Monday is bad news?!

Had weird moment looking through newly arrived Next directory, skipped purposely past the maternity section before realising I couldn't decide on anything else in case I was still pregnant. F**k Can't even splurge cos now need the 149 for monday - double

scotlass hope you enjoyed your peace and quiet DS2 was 10 days late - so I reckon I'm going to beaten to the post by all the May babies too! Sorry, sore nipples are all yours

scarlotti sorry you couldn't make it to see your niece, but it was the right thing to do. I imagine your DB and SIL will be a lot more welcoming next week anyway I'm sure they appreciate the fact that you asked.

tattifer don't know what to say to make the waiting easier. You have been incredibly strong in all of this. Still got fingers and toes crossed for you. I recommend tearing up the catalogue with brute force and burning it as a symbolic act of... well, anything really. I just think fires are pretty

crunch you're so right about the fires. Today I got the magnifying glass out and taught 9 year old how to set fire to things (including the cover of the Next directory)

I am taking out some of my waiting frustration on another thread. I'm (looks down at floor and fumbles with hem of shirt) being a bit (mumbles here) contraversial

tattifer glad you found ways to let out some of your frustrations. I have everything crossed for you today (even my eyes) xxx

Just popped in to say:

tattifer - thinking of you today. Keeping everything crossed.

Lola - wishing the days away for you till 18 weeks. (And repeat after me: healthy and well, healthy and well...). It's so good that everything feels really different from last time. I remember that's what got me through in the earlier stages - as well as reminding myself that this was a different, new pregnancy.

xx to all.

crunch and daisyj thank you how're things going with you?

I'm dreading it - is there anyway I can fall asleep and wake up with the scan finished. No? Oh well... sigh.

Morning all

tattifer wishing you all the best for today. Keeping it all crossed.

How's everyone else doing today? Hope you all had nice mother's days for those that are mums already.

My sickness is still rife and I;m starting to balloon now. Ended up in maternity trousers over the weekend - at 7+3 fgs. It's not a bump, more a thickening of the waist. My normal trousers will go on but not do up, my fat trousers (you know the ones we have a size up!) will fit but are baggy around the bum so make me feel so unattractive. Sigh. Can I wish any more of this pg away - want the ms to end, the worry to end and want a bump! [stamp foot emoticon]

Sorry for the rant, just feel so bleurgh at the moment [pout]

tattifer I wish there was.

You know me, I never complain

Feeling much better. Having a battle of wills with my 3 year old at the moment - but I think I just won It's these little victories that keep me going.

scarlotti isn't it great how after the first child your body goes, "Oh yes, I remember the shape you should be when pregnant " or is that just me?

Wishing the time away for you right now.

crunch not just you at all - with number 3 you'd think I'd expect it too
I do wonder what the people at work must think. I went on a diet in Jan and lost about 8lbs so it was noticeable - now it looks like I've just started eating madly again and put it all back on! Am sure tongues must be wagging.

Right, enough moaning. [gives self a stern talking to whilst ramming bit more scone in..]

scarlotti definitely know the bleurgh feeling. Oatcakes still working, for about five minutes. Dh keeps saying "but that's good isn't it?" and he's right, I just don't believe that it's not just a laugh my hormones are having at my expense.

crunch are you sure your 3 year old isn't just letting you think you've won? They're dastardly clever little beasts you know!

Scones cease to be simply scones while pregnant - they are elevated to the status of "medicinal scones"