Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VII - Gusset Reporters and Knicker Checkers welcome

[SparkyMalarky]

oooh, I do love a new thread

Thank you for all of your good lucks & thoughts, it must have helped because all seems ok. I am 7 weeks & HB is strong. Didn't need to have an internal scan, which also made me feel better. But blimey did I drink loads & really need a wee while they were scanning!
I'm so happy, just need to get over the next few weeks now & hope everything is ok at dating scan. I know I should be mega happy & I am but I am also very nervous as it was 10 weeks I lost my last baby. I'm kinda hoping that this brown discharge is a good thing as I didn't have that last time, so hopefully that means all is working fine.
Speak soon & take care all x

hopeful2 phew, thank goodness now all you have to do is worry for another 31/32 weeks!
I haven't bled anymore for the last two days just very pale brown watery when wiping after loo (I know tmi sorry). I still have all the pregnancy symptoms as before the bleed. I keep being positive about that as with mc in december my boobs had already stopped being sore before I bled.

Herby I had this and its really scary - I had a lovely GP and Practice Nurse who would always do a quick doppler thing for me to reassure me - would this be an option for you? I am sure Cromwell is just having a kip tho.

He has since done some kicks visible from the outside, even to other people. The little sod - worrying me already.

My GP is generally pretty unhelpful. My best bet in this situations is the hospital, but these things always seems to happen on a weekend, don't they. My hospital is pretty massive - Homerton - so I suppose they would have staff about at the weekend. Wouldn't they? Not that it seems to be a problem now, but just wondering about the weekend... Fret fret fret.

I've got a MW appointment next week - at 26 weeks, my first appt since 19 weeks (!) - so if he's still grooving then, he'll be checked out...

hopeful great news on your scan It's natural to still worry, I am in the same boat, 7 wks today and scan last Monday showed goot heartbeat but it was 10 wks when I had the last m/c so I'm still worried. Not sure when that goes away.

tattifer am with you on the oatcakes! I have a little packet on my bedside table which I munch on before I get out of bed. Seems to help a little.

grinningbee another scone addict here!! The sandwich guy comes around with his basket around the time I get into work and they make homemade scones. Bliss! All hell breaks loose if I miss him though

I just thought to ask another mum in my village who I know had a miscarriage before her current baby if they gave her a viability scan with that pregnancy. She says that no, she begged and pleaded, but they wouldn't give her anything before twelve weeks. We have the same doc, so I'm not optimistic about my chances...

It all seems bloody unfair. If I were in Oxford (where I was for my son) I'd get a dating scan at 10 weeks; I hate the way that antenatal treatment seems to vary so widely depending on where you wind up.

Tamlin with you on that one! Even the price of a private viability scan seems to almost double depending where in the country you are. Seems I'm in the double part of the country!

I will have no hair left to tear out by monday

It's £120 around here, seen it much cheaper on London websites... We're going to have to do the nuchal privately if we get to twelve weeks (£170!) so there's no way my husband will agree to forking out for a viability scan as well.

I have to confess to ocassionally wondering if I'd get more early pregnancy care if I was an alcoholic crack cocaine addict living on the street. Ignore me, I'm just being bitter, am about to run out of oat cakes

Tamlin it's the same here, my gp requested an early scan through the hospital. They sent me an appointment for the 12 week scan. I thought it was a mistake, but no, they don't do reassurance scans so that's that. I had some light spotting last week so got seen by the epu and got a scan. Had nothing been going wrong then I wouldn't have.

Now I'm not suggesting you lie or anything..

Scans around here seem to cost about £100.

tattifer you found any more oatcakes yet

Sadly no, but friend and accomplice is going a-hunting for some later

Cool, make sure they have their net. Quick little runners those oatcakes ...

[hmm, finally gone mad ... must be the hormones!]

scarlotti you've made me laugh - thank you

hi everyone. Sorry for the long absence. Just getting to the end of my first week of maternity leave and have finally found the energy to raise my head above the parapet and catch up on the 10 pages of chat that I missed in the last two weeks!

wheely and tsom ? huge congratulations on the birth of Lara Florence and Seth

crunch ? so sorry for what you?re going through ? hope that being here helps just a little. It sounds as though he needs a big shock to bring him to his senses. Maybe taking off your wedding ring and no longer giving any support to his behaviour will be what he needs to seek some help. Your DSs sound wonderful, btw. It?s making look forward to meeting my baby even more! And at the lash dye ? good girl!

scarlotti ? what a relief that all is OK. It must have been a terrible weekend for you, waiting.

bunny ? ? what an experience! So glad all is OK. Another lesson in how important it is to trust your instinct and insist on help if you think something?s wrong.

littlepolly and chocolatey ? so sorry for your mc - take care of yourselves, and hope to see you back here soon.

ashleighbee at your lovely scan. I think it?s sometimes easier to feel the baby move from the outside than the inside, as there are no nerve endings in the uterus. I know sometimes I can see the baby move, but not feel it.

herb ? hope the physio is helping the spd. I know it?s a huge help for some ? a woman in my antenatal class swore by it, and although it was still painful, she managed to get around and do everything she needed to in the end. Re the not moving so much, could bubs just have changed position? That could mean that he/she is moving just as much, but you just can?t feel it in the same way. Bo is a real kicker, but definitely has quieter days, especially after a particularly busy one.

Lal ? great news on your scan. Lol about putting hands in knickers

Hopeful ? So glad all OK.

Arrrghhhh, tattifer ? nightmare! £149 will be worth it to save your sanity, though. It was the best money we ever spent on an 8-week scan. Fingers crossed for a sticky bean.

dan ? Can it really be nearly 6 weeks already?! In six weeks time I?ll have a baby that?s a month old. I can?t imagine it?

grinningbee ? we haven?t had a stats update recently, but I think it?s you and me next. Don?t worry about being emotional ? I cried because I couldn?t load the dishwasher ?properly? the other day (don?t ask ). Very impressed at your minimal weight gain. I?ve put on 30 pounds. The baby is mostly cake, I reckon. Mmmm ? lemon curd?

xx

chocolatey sorry for your loss. Hope we see you back here soon - feel free to stay for support if you need it.

hopeful great news on the scan.

Me? Terrible. Why oh why oh why did I invite him around for one more talk? Why did I think this would be any different? Why did I think he would listen this time?

Why did I let him in to hurt me more?

He's choosing to go to watch the rugby game tomorrow at a work colleague's house rather than see the dcs and it's my fault (apparently) because he asked to see them on Sunday instead, I said I would think about it, he went ahead and made plans on that basis. But I can't swap because a friend is coming from a couple of hours away to see me and the boys with her dcs. So given the choice of watch the rugby with the boys at home or cancel seeing someone he sees daily, he chooses letting down the boys Apparently he doesn't want to be seen as unreliable (doesn't matter if the boys see him as that, only his work friends).

And it's all my fault because he made plans based on "I'll think about it"

This morning while talking he was all for putting family first and getting the help he needs to enable him to come home

Why am I so stupid?

crunch you're not stupid. Don't kick yourself, put on some hobnailed boots and start kicking down that brick wall you keep banging your head against

crunch - you are NOT stupid. You are trying to be rational and apply the normal laws of interaction with someone who is not currently capable of it. His logic is completely twisted and it is making you feel as though you are the one who is losing it. I lived for 18 months with someone who was manic depressive, and when someone is not themselves it does rub off - I had panic attacks for six months afterwards (never before or since, I am usually the most happy, optimistic person). DO NOT let him put you in the wrong. You cannot win with him, and this is only going to drive you mad. He is not well.

When he talks about getting the help he needs, what does he mean? Is he making any kind of real commitment to that? In writing?

You are being so strong - I can't imagine what it's like to feel as though you are losing the person you married, but it is not your fault.

Is there any way that you could find another (non-Relate) counsellor and maybe draw up a list of commitments (about what he will do to get help and how you might support him in that) and insist that there should be no deviation from it? It just seems to me that the only way to get him to act and protect yourself from more harm would be to have some kind of absolute list of parameters, something to work towards...

Anyway, sorry for the ramble - I don't think I'm really saying anything particularly useful here. Just trying to think what I might do in your situation...

tsom congratulations on the birth of Seth! Lovely name and always makes me smile thinking of the handsome smoulderer in Cold Comfort Farm

Crunch I want to send you huge (((((hugs))))) from down here in Surrey. You are going through so much I can?t imagine what it must feel like. It sounds as though he is unable to accept even the smallest amount of responsibility or accountability in the breakdown of your relationship and is instead expecting you to do all the work. We are all here for you and wish we could do more. But you are definitely not stupid and you mustn?t say that ? you are trying, in very difficult circumstances, to salvage the love. Totally understandable.

Chocolatey I?m so sorry to hear about your baby. MC is always awful but be kind to yourself and your DH you will get through it and be back on here before we know it.

Hopeful great news about your scan result

Tattifer at the oatcakes ? think you should bring out your own range as ?Tattifer?s Oatcakes? has such a lovely traditional ring to it! Me, I?m obsessed with clementines to the extent that my left thumb has turned orange form pealing so many . Alas it?s doing me no favours as I?m still piling on the weight so I?m v that you guys can munch chocs away and not resemble a baby hippo. Really hope your scan goes well on Monday.

Daisyj and Grinningbee very excited for you both ? not long now!

Love and hugs to everyone else x

And now I'm that I can't spell 'peeling' .....

Thanks sydneysuze.

I wouldn't mind looking like a baby hippo, it's feeling like a full grown one I find somewhat alarming

Wheely and Tsom. Brilliant news ladies. Great that your c-sections went well.
Gillydaf, I am sure that you will be here very soon. Fingers crossed for your first cycle.

Crunch - repeat after me 'its not me, its him' a hundred times. For whatever reason he is being an arse. It must be so hard.

Good scan news Hopeful

Sorry to hear your news extremely Herby - I used to go through phases of DD2 (still makes me smile to type that !!) being very quiet and me panicking and then she'd go off again.

Grinningbee - you're definitely next ! Good luck

Ronshar - thanks - I remember you typing you sniff William every day and are thankful for him.... I know what you mean !!

Hi everyone. I'm so rubbish at keeping up at the moment, I'm so tired I end up lurking and thinking I'll post tomorrow.

tsom big congrats on Seths birth. Enjoy smelling him

chocolatey I'm so so sorry about your mc. I hope you're doing as well as can be expected and come back soon.

crunch sorry you're having such a crappy time - I could slap your DH - will a virtual one do? You musn't think you're stupid, you're trying to do what you can to make things back to where they were but it sounds like he's got issues he needs to sort out first - like waking up to his priorities. Stay strong - you're doing a really important job being mum of 3.

hopeful brill news on your scan.

Wave to everyone else

It's lovely to see the graduees popping back in.

I finally went shopping to day for some hospital bag stuff. I think I've been in denial for 9 months and now at the fear of being told off by my work colleague on Monday (last day at work - yey!!) have realised I need to get over my fear of jinxing things just cos I've bought a breast pad. My movements have been really sore the last two nights and it feels like a head's jammed down below so went to Primark and spent a fortune (£17) on a dressing gown, nightshirt for labour, pj's for after and packet of knickers. Can't believe there's only 4 weeks to go - sods law will mean now I begin to get organised I'll go over!!

herby meant to say I too have some days when I'm sure I haven't felt movements. It's normally at night mine is more active and sometimes I found having a drink of ice cold water has resulted in a few kicks. I think it also depends what position baby is in as to how much you feel.

Hello lovely ladies! So sorry to have disappeared on you. We got back this evening from a week down in Devon. It was FAB. Just what we needed. I didn't realise I hadn't posted since my last scan though All I can say in my defence was that I was absolutely on my knees before we went away - didn't really realise how much until now. There should be a scan photo on my profile it anyone's interested. It went really well, but we couldn't tell the sex as LO was feeling shy . will be 17 weekks tomorrow which feels a little strange as it was 17.5 weeks when we lost Thomas. Everything has been very different this time round though, right from the start, so I'm hoping to get through this week without getting too mental... Not sure how much I rate my chances though. On holiday with no laptop to contact you wise ladies for reassurance (after our puppy chewed through the power lead...) I managed to convince myself I had listeria . Dragged DH along to the docs on tuesday, and was glad I did, DH got to hear the hb and doc was decidedly dishy so a great plan all round! He basically told me not to worry, which, together with hearing the hb, was all I really needed I think as I was feeling much better by then.

Would you mind indulging me just for a moment in what I suspect know is an extremely petty rant...

Know it's NOTHING compared to what a lot of people are going through atm, but am really sick of looking like a big fat lump and not remotely pg... Some friends came down to see us on holiday yday, the lady is DH's sort of aunt, but she is only 10 years older than him (she's 47). She's never had children, never wanted them, though I think she may have had an early mc once. I was sort of moaning about being a chubber, but not really moaning, just feeling self conscious and wanting to make it clear than I KNOW I've put on weight and... I'm not sure how to express it, but she turned round and said 'oh, you shouldn't have put on any weight yet though should you' Of course I thought of loads of clever things to say later, but at the time I just frantically tried to justify why I'm not really a lazy greedy cow, just been feeling really sick, tired, hungry etc etc etc. What a moron - her and me! Am too scared to weigh myself, but have gone from a very small A cup to a good size D cup in the last 13 weeks! and generally look like the side of a house. Feel gross. As long as the baby is ok I don't really care, but I'm truly ashamed to admit it is getting me down a bit. Pathetic hey?!? Just that a couple of people have mentioned me looking 'a bit fat' and now am totally paranoid everyone thinks I am a greedy chubber (especially even if it's true...)

Christ. Sorry about that. Don't know what came over me... Can you tell I've been away for a while....

On to MUCH more important matters:

Wheely and Tsom HUGE congratulations on the safe arrivals of your little ones! FANTASTIC news! Beautiful names too Wheely am gutted I missed your photos, any chance you might be able to post some more? (When you have a spare 5 mins, obviously )

Ashleigh a BLUE one!!!! Yippee!! So glad your LO was being co-operative - a great sign of things to come I'm sure!

Tattifer I'm with you on the oatcake thing. For a couple of weeks they were all that got me through the long long long drive to and from work. Do you have a preferred technique? I like to nibble a bit of the edge then eat as much of the middle as I can before coming back to as much as the edge as poss, cos that's my favourite bit. And to think I used to be quite a sane person...

Extremelychocolatey So sorry to see your news, but glad the agony of waiting is over for you. Please take care of yourself over the coming days and months, and hopefully we'll see you back here very soon

Crunch I don't have the words Am so full of admiration and respect for the way you're dealing with everything that's being thrown at you atm. Just wish you didn't have to

Waves, and big love to everyone else, too tired to remember everything else now sorry - can't believe how long it took me to read the FIVE PAGES(!!!) I'd missed... sleep tight ladies, see you on the weekend! xx