Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VII - Gusset Reporters and Knicker Checkers welcome

[SparkyMalarky]

oooh, I do love a new thread

Tattifer - fingers crossed for you. Bleeding doesn't necessarily mean the worst. there are lots of examples on here of women who've bled and gone on to have healthy happy babies, here's hoping you're one of them!

Thanks for all the reassurance girls - it does help. Told the grans last night. My mum was thrilled - she has a history of recurrent mc, so think she understands the relevance of the 8 week heartbeat. DPs mum was a bit more reticent - she said she didn't wantto say too much at this stage - but that might be because she thinks she'll end up childminding again! DP told her when he picked up dd yesterday, she didn't mention it at all to me this am when I dropped dd off

Anyway - another day down, only about another 7 months to go (how many sleeps is that??)

Morning to everyone

tattifer get yourself to your gp/epu as soon as you can to put your mind at rest.

sydneysuze found the stats on a website for a private scan place near me. Have been looking at options/prices as I'd like to have another one around 9 weeks but am unlikely to get one on the nhs.

crunch thinking of you hon

Have only read yesterday and today's posts on here so don;t knwo much about many of you.
Do you have DC/S or is this your first?
What sort of age gaps will you have?

Gateau This is my 3rd (5th pg) and I'm about 6+5 (ha ha, about - I could probably tell you down to the minute!!) I have a dd14 and a ds3. This lo will be due 4 days before ds's 4th birthday. Another valentines baby. I was hoping for a summer baby this time around, but all our planning ended up in vain as we had 2 m/c's.

Thanks guys,
lal123 you're right about the positive stories on here, there seems to be an abundance of common sense and support too. That was my main reason for stopping lurking
gateau I have two girls, 11 and 9. They're by my first partner (borderline idiot fond who was given the heave ho years ago when he resorted to chucking me into a wall to resolve an argument grr!). I'd give the world to have a kiddy with my husband but quite happy to admit I've been blessed by two wonderful little wotsits already
Crunch I've been catching up on your story, I'm finding your strength and the support you're offering here awe inspiring

Scarlotti - my EPU said that if I was feeling worried at all or had any bleeding they would be happy to see me again for another scan up until 14 weeks? I am resisting phoning them and making up some worries - could end up being in there every day!

tattifer thank youfor your very kind words - feel more of a mess than awe inspiring at the moment And I've definitely received more than I've given. I really hope your little one holds on and you get some answers very soon.

Gateau cramping is completely normal, as long as it isn't building up and coming in waves of increasing strength, it's your uterus stretching and bits around it adjusting.

I have two lovely boys aged 11 and 3. The 11 year old has been incredible through all this and the 3 year old has just been funny. DS1 said yesterday that he thinks daddy is hormonal too. DS2 told me his hips hurt (I think I might have been whinging about my SPD a bit too much - he's taken to using a stick as a walking stick when I'm on my crutches)

scarlotti hope you manage to get that scan at 9 weeks, it makes such a difference to levels of panic in the first trimester.

lal i think it's dependent on where you live as to what you can have. I was told by the doc in the epu that they don't do reassurance scans. My gp had requested an early scan for me, but the hospital have set it at 12 weeks. I'm going to try my midwife when I see her next week but I suspect I'll have to go private.
I have been tempted to make up some problem, but am worried it might come back to haunt me later on somehow.

Crunch think you're right about the 9 week scan. I'll feel much happier if I can get that and it's a good one. Will take a lot of the worry away.
Your boys sound gorgeous amazing how they can brighten up even the darkest days.

Yes, it's amazing how hospital differ.
Mine said if I got an early scan I wouldn't be entitled to a 12 week one, DESPITE this being a viability scan cos of 3 previous mcs.
Yet people at other hospitals seem to get sscans left right and centre!

Good morning aaaaaaall!

Thanks guys for the congrats on my little blue baby... I am getting very excited now looking at little boy outfits..

Tattifer I had a bleed at 8 weeks 1 day (after a really amazing 7 week 4 day scan) - started EXACTLY like my M/C brown spotting the 2 days before, crampy then... along came the bright red.. got down the private clinic (many will know this place is a haven for me) and there was my little one bouncing around happy as larry... At all my scans they ask me if i've bled in early pregnancy as they can see the 'erosion' but we're still okay.. we're here and i am getting more and more positive with every week - all i can say is that for me the bleed wasnt the end, I will keep all my fingers and toes crossed for you.. I know my story probably wont help because its about 'you' and not about 'me' but i found hearing other people's positive 'bleed' stories really made me a little bit more positive myself.

Lal You're a girl after my own heart - although instead of my EPU i could be in the clinic every day - the sonographer always comments on me going back even though you know the stats, you just want to grab the ultrasound machine and make a run for it!

sydneySuze 14 weeks congratulations .. I only 'came out' around 12 weeks.. reluctantly as well.. EVERYONE knew at work but they were lovely because they thought if i hadnt told them myself then it was for a reason and it was up to me when i did not up to them to say 'oi you fatty are you preggers' bless them - they were all beautiful during my m/c so they knew i'd be sensitive and nervous about it! Good luck telling everyone - I hope it goes swimmingly!

Scotlass Maternity leave wahoo... I am VERY jealous.. I think as soon as we all fall pregnant they should let us off work.. hmmm i dont think i'll put that forward to my boss though.. think he's gonna be trying to drag me back to work 3 days after labour or something...

Gateau WELCOME! no bleeding is definitely a good sign I really hope you're here with us for a long time - I am here after one miscarriage in October - one period and then the next month fell preggers with this little boy.. 6 scans later at 17 weeks 1 day, I am beginning to feel more positive.

Crunch what are you going to do, have you decided? Are you going to try Relate again after this 'episode'...try and remain strong like you have been, I am a crumbling mess at everything - you're inspiring - I dont know what i would do in your situation.. Thanks for the advice about boys.. I was just flicking through the Argos catalogue yesterday as you do.. and came across the boys toys.. MY MY i am gonna have to start researching when the baby is here - I am gonna be SUPER (tomboy) MUM! haha! Is Action Man still fashionable.. luckily i'll have a few years to wait for that!

We had midwife appointment yesterday, we heard his little heartbeat.. v.v.v.strange need some advice - well I am 17 weeks and 1 day (ooerrr check me out come along way since my 7 weeks 4 days when i joined) yesterday when i was at the midwife's office she was feeling around for baby and finding his heartbeat and she felt him move... now.. last Thurs and Fri i had a couple of feelings like i thought that HAS to be the baby as i'd never felt them before... but yesterday when she felt him.. I didnt i didnt think people could feel on the outside for weeks - is it only because she knows what she is feeling for?

Sorry about that ramble all.. and the beginning being all mememememe!

Right i have rambled for LONG enough.. Oh one more thing - in the next few weeks are we passing more graduates to the other side?

Sorry to anyone i have left out, i didnt intenitally do this.

Have a good day in the sunshine.

xx

Just a quick one for Tattifer. I had spotting every day from weeks 5 to 8 with this pregnancy, then bright red blood, cramping, clots the lot at 6+3 until 7+1. Was convinced I'd MCed as it was so similar to previous MCs. However I still felt PG so luckily didn't go out and get plastered to drown my sorrows or anything like that. Had to wait more than a week for a scan as it was right when all that snow came and the EPU was closed (grrrr) but eventually had a scan at 8+3 and there was a healthy bean. I could not believe it and my DH looked like he'd seen a ghost, even the EP nurse had a tear in her eye. I of course was wailing like a banshee

I really hope you have a similar result, take care of yourself and think positive.

Hi Ashleighbeee - hearing about others is actually helping a lot - I think it's more about us!

The midwife just rang and I'm nursing a surreal "what the Hell?!" kind of reaction. Despite heavy horrible clotty bleeding etc etc last night, she can't arrange a scan for me because I have stopped bleeding this morning
I almost offered to jump and down just to shake some drops out but... my gp apparently can arrange a reassurance scan for me. Is it a reassurance scan (I asked feebly) if the bleeding was heavy, after all I'd kind of like to know what the problem is (=diagnostic surely?) not just whether I'm miscarrying (fair enough =reassurance). Would I like to ring him?
She's a lovely lady and I know she's only giving it me how it is (she doesn't make the rules afterall) so she was kind enough to ring him for me and get back within 2 minutes - yes they're going to book me an early scan.

More waiting now, for doctor to let me know when scan is... sigh, might have to internet shopping....

Tattifer - that's such a stupid rule - for you! I hope you get a scan really soon - I know the waiting is agony.

Hello ladies. SOrry I've not been on for a few days. Have been away for the weekend and was really busy at work, and too shattered last night to even think about turning on the computer!

So have just had time to catch up. Wow, what a lot of posts!

Welcome to all the newbies. Sorry to hear some are having a rough time already. Those early days are awful. Never has the title "knicker checkers" been more true.

Huge congrats wheely on Lara's arrival. I missed the FB link so haven't seen the photos. Glad you all ok.

crunch I don't know how you are managing to keep it all together, but it sounds like your lovely boys are the key. I don't know what else to say, except you are one strong lady!

DH DS and my folks had a lovely break at center parcs. I even managed to squeeze in a fabulous pregnancy treatment at the spa. So lovely, I fell asleep! DS has been getting us up as he seems to be regressing in his being dry at night. I am at a loss what to do. I am half tempted to put him back in pull ups at night but he won't have it. And I am knackered. Still my skin looks lovely after my treatment and I dropped a massive hint to DH for some of the Decleor cooling leg gel they also put on me as a mothers day gift. Fingers crossed! My ankles have begun to swell a bit now.

Hi ladies, I'm new to all this but thought I would try it out.
A few weeks a go I found out that I am pregnant. Clearly I was over the moon as my last pregnancy ended in a mmc & I lost my baby at 10 weeks. I was devasted & still am. That was last Nov. I decided when I found out that I would try & forget about the pregnancy until my first scan but this Sat just gone I noticed a brown coloured discharge, it lasted until late Sun. I have not had any pain with it & obvioulsy rested. I saw my GP on Mon & have been booked an appnt to see EPU on Fri. I would be 6.5 weeks then that's why I have got to wait until Fri as I am still early. The discharge stopped until today! I noticed more brown coloured discharge this morning. I'm obvioulsy so scared that I am losing another pregnancy. Especially when I had not really recovered from the loss of my last baby.
I am also scared about having to have the internal scan, as I don't want this to cause any problems. I know they say internal scans to not effect the pregnancy but when you've lost one already I don't want to take any risks. Then again how else will I know! I am also scared - those few seconds, but what seem like minutes, before they tell you the outcome. I really don't want to hear those words
I know I sound like I have convinced myself that I have lost the baby, but I'm so worried to be optimistic x

ashleigh Lego is the best boy toy ever I just spoke to H who was going to arrange a babysitter as his contribution to the session I'm paying for, but he hasn't. So if it turns out there is no sitter then I won't be returning and if there is I will go one last time - letting the fates decide for me

tattifer on your behalf, I can't believe that policy! I really hope you get a scan soon.

ladyhelen glad you had a lovely break. Very of your pampering session. My one contribution to improving my looks this month is buying some lash dye (so my lashes look good in the birth pool )

hopeful you poor thing. Don't worry about internal scans at all - they literally put the scanner only just inside the vagina so it's nowhere near the cervix or anything that could cause problems. I know the feeling of not wanting to hear the words, it's horrible. I wish you all the luck in the world. Please come here to talk as often as you need. x

hopeful I had the same thing last week, brown dishcarge, then went for a scan at 6+3 at the epu. They did an external one and found little bean plus a heartbeat so take heart. I think ours was down to vaginal erosion (yuk!) after some night time activity!

ladyhelen have you tried taking him to the loo when you go to bed? I did that with dd for ages until she was able to hold it through the night. I used to pick her out of bed, sit her on the loo while I held her, then carry her back to bed. Got to where she barely woke! Worked though and bought me back those precious wee morning hours!

crunch grr for the babysitting situation. Think letting fate decide/guide isn't such a bad idea. We're a duplo house here

Crunch Thank you. I just hope that it isn't bad news but it's so hard to keep positive. I keep checking my breasts to see if they are still sore & I am sure I keep getting waves of feeling sick but I just don't know if it is all the stress or in my head or what! My other half keeps saying until he's told otherwise he is keeping optimistic, not sure what's the best attitude to take to be honest.

Scarlotti I will try.
I'm too scared to have sex after what happened in the last pregnancy, even though I know it doesn't cause any harm. So I know mine this time defo isn't down to that. I just hope little bean can be strong enough & hold on.

Keeping my fingers & toes crossed for a hopeful outcome on Fri x

scarlotti we are both lego and duplo - we accept all blocks into our lives to be trodden on at 3am I am trying to be philosophical and not rise to any provocation We'll see how long it lasts!

Hopeful I was completely pessimistic (which didn't wear off until a couple of days after the scan when I suddenly realised baby was alive) - I think you can't help but hold yourself back and try to protect your feelings. Oddly the only time I have really suffered from morning sickness and all the classic pregnancy symptoms was when I had my missed miscarriage. ds1 I never had any MS and was symptom free throughout the whole thing (apart from the obvious bump ). So although symptoms can be reassuring in some ways, I'm a big believer that if a symptom fades it doesn't mean anything negative has happened necessarily. Cervical erosion can happen without sex too.

Morning all

crunch thanks, neither could I - you can imagine I was sat there thinking "why did you say that fool! make it up! lie! yes i'm bleeding still!" Afterall a couple of hours later sure enough there was another bleed..

I'm now waiting for the doctor to ring to let me know when scan appointment is - more waiting, sigh. I told DH about the gusset reporters and he suggested pad patrollers as an additional honorary title! Amazing what sharing the bathroom in the morning does for you

hopeful know exactly what you mean - I'm there now, checking are boobs still sore? am I still peeing every couple of hours in the night? still nauseous? Yes to all so far (more straw clutching).

I was looking at some yahoo or wikipedia forum and all this women seemed to painlessly pass a kidney bean then know they were no longer pregnant - if only it were that simple

we are all ladies in waiting....

tattifer I really feel for you. There's nothing worse than petty rules getting in the way of the fact that you're going through something tremendously scary. I hope you get your scan asap and will have my fingers crossed for you all day x

Thanks Crunch how's life with you today?

Same old. Dreading going to the Relate session with H this evening (funnily enough my lack of reaction to him not arranging the babysitter made him leap into action )

But you're the important one today Any news from GP?

(I like the "Pad Patrollers" )

Not yet - but have developed bizarre craving overnight - I MUST HAVE SOME NAIRNS OATCAKES!! Most weird.

crunchI really feel for you being where you are right now with your H. I remember reaching the decision with me ex (before he got aggressive) that I was so lonely in our relationship that I couldn't possibly be lonelier out of it. The kids were 6 and 4 so I was optimistic that they'd recover - and they have. He had issues that I know now are mainly down to asbergers. Emotionally cold, shut off - even to the children. Don't know how we ad two kids - I must have behaved well enough to deserve being touched - at least twice. Not sure where Im going with this - just that from way down here in Devon you sound like you're doing the right thing and are just the mum to see two boys through even this kind of turmoil and change

Hope everyone else is doing ok today...

Oatcakes is definitely weird. Not quite as bad as my sudden urge for beef flavoured crisps yesterday (I hate them!).

Your X sounds horrendous. The worst thing with my H is that he used to be so loving and devoted. He adored his kids, adored me, would always think of us first. I made the mistake of comparing emails from him between now and 18 months ago. The starkest comparison was (18 months ago) "Don't worry about lunch for you and ds2 I've made you some it's in the fridge - it's your favourite!" compared to (6 months ago) "I took the last of the bread, I'd forgotten you'd want it for the boys' packed lunches."

It's hard to know he can do it but won't.