November/December babies

[monkey]

Hell, I've just found out I'm expecting No. 3 mid November, and am very excited. A bit scared too - I can't remember a thing! How can I possibly have done this twice already??? Hope more of you can join me soon!

Tinyfeet and Hana, congratulations. Tinyfeet, you're certainly not alone, have you seen the miseryguts thread?

Congratulations Hana - welcome to the thread! How are you feeling?

How is everyone else doing?

Thanks for the words of encouragement. mum2toby, DD is 13 mos. It is a nice age really. I will have to check out the miseryguts thread. It is so horrible to have these terribly trivial selfish-sounding complaints, the guilt on top of it all. I do think I will eventually face reality and look forward to it all, but as I just found out yesterday, I am just completely disappointed.

Hana, congratulations! I hope I can join you in starting to the good feeling of anticipation. I'm trying to do things now that will help me to get a more positive attitude about this. I am going to start with (what else but) SHOPPING! Last year I borrowed all of my maternity clothes from my giant friend. This time round I'd like to buy a few good pieces. Can anyone recommend a good website for chic maternity clothes? I'm starting to feel better already

Tinyfeet - I am going on holiday in August as well - also planned before I knew I was pregnant. I am flying for 11 hours to Vancouver so I am a bit nervous about the flight (with ds on my knee - he will be 18 months) but am really looking forward to the holiday and glad now we diodnt put it off until next year when we would have had to do it with 3 children instead of 2! I was at my best at about 5 months so am hoping for a repeat show!

Susanmt - congratulations. I was looking forward to my holiday, but not as much now that I know I'm pregnant. My entire memory of being pregnant even though it was just last year is being nauseous, fat and depressed, so I am not really looking forward to it now. Praying this time it will be better. Trying to smile

ok im a bit freaked out jus found out last week that im 2months pregnant i jus thought my periods were bein irregular and since i was on the pill i didnt think i would b. im only 17 an this is very daunting at the moment. if anyone has any tips on nausea or child birth or general pregnancy i would appreciate it soooo much.
also is it normal to have a little bit of bleeding like at the end of a period

Welcome Rachael17 and Congratulations!! I think you're going to be inundated with advice now!

How does your boyfriend/husband/partner feel about it??

With regards to nausea, try to eat something before you get out of bed, like a few digestive biscuits. Keep them beside your bed close to hand. Just keep telling yourself that it only lasts a few weeks as with any of the more awkward stages of pregnancy.

Most of all......... enjoy it! Once you feel your baby moving and see it on the scan you'll be hooked!

thank u mumtoby
my boyfriend is being very supportive and wants to be as involved as possible. but my mum on the other hnd is bein a little controlling an wants everything done her way.
jus waiting till im 3months ao i can tell everyone because although im very young still an money will be a problem im quite excited about havin a baby
also has anybody had certain feelings as to what sex their baby will b because i jus feel deep down it will b a girl

I thought ds was a girl through my whole pregnancy! Oops, so don't go on gut feeling!

Money will sort itself out. Don't worry about that. Babies are really only as expensive as YOU make them. You'll get loads of presents and I bought our cot second hand for £30 and got a new matress!

Mums will be mums..... at the end of the day it's YOUR baby... she'll realise that soon enough. She's maybe struggling with the concept that her baby is having a baby! I was 22 when I announced my pregnancy and even then my Mum found it difficult.

Good luck!

Hi Rachael17 and congrulations.

You don't say a lot about your circumstances - how do you feel about this? Do you have support?

This is not something you planned so it has been foisted upon you. You need to do some serious thinking. You are very young to take on such a responsbility and at least need to know what you are letting yourself in for. Saying that being a mum is also the most wonderful thing in the whole wide world.

If you have decided that this is something you want to do then great and you will get loads of support through mumsnet - I'm sure there are other young mums out there. But if you have doubts then you at least owe it yourself to explore them - no one here would judge you if you decided that it was not the right time for you. When you were ready in later life you could still go on to be a great mum.

thank u so much. i think at the moment im jus getting used to the idea an havin a good relax my sickness an nausea is gettin better is now jus late evening an early morning
an also i got my first cravings I think!!
it was for a whole load of cream cakes which is wierd cos i dont usually like them much

Rachael17
I also fell pregnant whilst on the pill - found out at about 7 weeks and it was a huge shock. dp and I had just got engaged and were happily planning our wedding. After a few days of agonising over what to do, we realised that there is never a 'right time' to have a baby and what will be, will be. I had a very good pregnancy and birth experiences and absolutely adore being a mum - until I had ds, I was pretty low, hate my job and felt pretty directionless. Although I am still doing the same job, it all seems worthwhile because I have a lovely, smiley ds!
Best of luck with everything. I didn't get many of the classic early pregnancy symptoms so was worried that things weren't quite right - particularly as I had conceived when on the pill. Getting to 12 weeks and having the scans was a huge relief and I really enjoyed the rest of my 9 months.
Keep us posted - you are sure to get plenty of good advice here on mumsnet...

Hi, Rachael! Just this afternoon I read an article that highlights some of the benefits of being a younger mum. Here is the URL (for some reason I can't make a proper link) if you'd like to read it.

www.observer.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,935502,00.html
It gives details of a help group for younger mums, too. HTH and good luck!

Tinyfeet - tell me about it! I had a terrible pregnancy with my first and for those reasons, as well as most of the ones you have stated, I didn't want another. So this pregnancy is pretty tough for me too, although nearly losing it to a miscarriage kinda put things into perspective a little bit for me.
Have a look at this it's a website I set up that deals with depression during pregnancy along with other things. Apparently pre-natal depression is just as common as post-natal depression, it's just not talked about as much.
Your reasons aren't selfish, they are normal. I don't want a winter baby either, b/f in the middle of a frosty night does not fill me with delight. I miss alcohol, especially sitting in a beer garden in the sun with ice cold pints of lager (and no, shandy is NOT the same!). I miss my friends who I don't see now because they always meet in pubs and I'm not a good coke drinker. And I liked the little family that we had, just me, dh and dd. We worked really well, and it sounds strange, but I feel that another person will spoil it!
So you are not alone. However I have been told that you never, ever, regret having another baby. It's company for your dd who will love having another sibling, and if anything happens to either you or your partner, she will not be completely alone. You might not have a Christmas baby, you might have it early, or late. I'm due on the 14th, and I have my mum's birthday a week before that, and my b-i-l's a week after. If anything, I hope it's earlier, just to get it all over and done with!
If you need to talk, you can contact me via the website above. But you can get through this. Talk to your GP if you start to get depressed, don't wait until the depression gets worse. And Mumsnet is great for support too! Good luck.

CUSTARDO - you would be a good person to give Rachael advice, where are you?

Rhuby- Custardo is having a whale of a time in Brighton as we speak- not fair not fair! I couldn't go this time.
How are you doing, missus? Have been meaning to catch up with you for AGES, especially wanted to say that I've been thinking of you a lot recently and the new baby on the way. Glad the scan was good and that it's helped you feel a bit better about the pregnancy. Still sounds scary though.
Also I owe your daughter a digger. Sorry I haven't got round to sending it yet. I had it all out and ready to pack up and one thing drove out another... I'm rubbish at organising my life, I'm afraid. But I haven't forgotten and I AM gonna send it... (she'll get the package by the time she's 18 or so I expect!)
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

p.s. Wecome to Mumsnet Rachael17.

Yeah, where's my digger??????????? Anytime you get round to it Scummy will be fine! I am incredibly jealous of Custdy, she has more of a social life than me now! Dh is also out tonight, none of our friends have noticed that I've not been out yet, so I feel very neglected and unloved!
You see Rachael17, Custardo had her kids before she was in her early twenties, now she is the same age as me and whilst I am just starting my family, her kids are at school and she is just getting her freedom back! Plus, she is much more on the same level as her kids, she can identify with them more as she is still young. So there are advantages to having kids young.

thank you for ur feed back everyone. im starting to quite enjoy this pregnancy now because im getting lots of attention when i meet up with friends. i also made everyone feel sick last nite wen i dipped mini chedders in the soft bit of a cream egg it tasted good to me but they cudnt see how. got my first midwife appointment tomoro so i hope all goes well.
whats it like having your first scan because im nearly 2 an a half months so it will b soon i hope

susanmt, just back from holiday to see your news - congratulations! I can imagine you will be feeling daunted/worried but I hope excited too...

monkey, I have two older brothers and my mum says she was rather bewildered to have a girl! But I really loved having older brothers and I'm sure if you do have a daughter it will seem like a fantastic mix.
We won't be finding out the sex beforehand, btw. DH is very keen on the 'surprise' element, and I tend to agree that it is very special finding out at the birth. My hunch is another boy but I think that's just the difficulty of getting my head round something different...

rhubarb, glad to see you're still here after all. Transvaginal scans are routine after IVF and they do give a much more detailed view during early pregnancy - plus you don't have to endure the agony of a full bladder!

congratulations to the other new arrivals here. Hope everyone is feeling well - some of you must be approaching the 12/13 week milestone by now?

Rhubarb, Thank you for your message. It really made me feel better, especially what you said about never regretting having a child and having someone for DD. You have expressed it exactly as I feel it - I have it pretty good now with DH and DD, and I do feel like another child would spoil it. I still feel that way. I am really scared that DD will be feel deprived - that I am depriving her of more time as an only child. That is the main reason why I am not excited about this pregnancy. But, as I've said earlier, I am trying to get used to the idea. The feelings that are expressed in your website are much closer to what I felt after I had DD, but if I start to feel that extreme, I will definitely email you there. Thanks again. Congratulations to Rachael17!

Rachel17 - your first scan is usually around 12 weeks. i was SOOOOOO scared before mine. Because I hadn't felt any movement yet I was still convinced I wasn't actually pregnant!! I wasn't so worried about there not being a heartbeat (GOD FORBID!!!), but I was worried that I had never actually been pregnant at all and would have to face all those people! Silly.... and irrational, but there you go, that's pregnancy all round! Once I was in there and saw the baby whizzing around I felt so happy and complete and from that day on I felt pregnant and started touching my tummy all the time. ..... sigh...... here comes the broodiness again!

Enjoy it coz it's all over so quickly!

By now you must have all picked up on the story - Mirena Coil fell out, I'm (about) 8 weeks pregnant. And NOT coping with it at all.
All I can think is I am run off my feet with 2 kids so how is it going to be with 3? And I am so tired I am finding it hard to get round to tidying up and ironing and the thousand and one other things that are already piling up for me to do .... And I am sick, and I am so worried about my kidneys (suffered from stones through 2nd half of last pregnancy and for about a year afterwards) and about getting depressed again (have had PND twice and was in hospital with it the first time. I can't sleep, I'm just lying there with things going round and round in my head.
Dh is worrying about me and I'm feeling like I have somehow let everyone down, ruined our nice life which had just started to be manageable again. I had a funny feeling that there was something wrong with my coil but noone took me seriously about it - and I feel like it is my fault for not pushing for an examination (I had a UTI at the time and the doc said it could make it worse - whichis quite right).
I feel like this baby isn't loved or wanted from the moment of conception. I know that in 7.5 months someone will lie him or her on my chest and it will all seem worthwhile, but I cant picture that at the moment at all. I wish life was like it was 6 weeks ago when none of this had happened.
I know this sounds selfish and mean, and like I am thinking only about me. But I have no idea how to get my head around having 3 babies and coping with it all. It must sould weird to those of you with 3, 4 or more, but I just don't think I am up to it. I seem to spend half my time in tears!
Please, has anyone else felt like this? I'm not sure where else to turn.

Oh susanmt, I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I'm sure you're not alone, really. I'm not in the same position at all except that I've got my life back as ds is wonderful and at school and I'm worried about being back at square one again with nappies and sleepless nights etc. I had mild pnd too so I do know how scary the whole thought is. I don't know what to say except that your feelings are understandable given what's happened in the past. What's the medical advice about your kidneys? Do they think it may not happen this time? Also, looking on the bright side your pnd wasn't as bad with no.2 and so equally may not be with no.3 Even if it is, you know the signs and how to get help. I don't think you're selfish or mean at all - I think you're normal. Won't your eldest be nearly at pre-school once this ones born? Oh dear, I don't know what else to say except they do get easier the older they get. I'm sure some mothers of 3 or more will be able to tell you more.

susan, I'm sorry you are feeling like this. If it is any help at all, even though my pregnancy was very much wanted and strived for, I still spent the first couple of weeks waking at dawn worrying about all the implications (like you, but for completely different reasons, I had not done any mental preparation about the pregnancy and I needed time to assimilate the idea into my future life projection)
What you are describing sounds like a perfectly understandable reaction to a life-changing shock. Remember too that it is hard to feel positive about anything when you are feeling like s*. I do think you will feel better as you start to physically feel better and as you adjust to the idea.

I don't know if it will be any help, but perhaps the feelings of being overwhelmed and unable to cope may be helped if you try to win back a bit of control over the situation. Try and pin down what is most worrying you (I find a list helpful here!) and think of some constructive way you can help the situation. For example, is there any way to get more help in the house if you need it?
I know I started feeling better once we had made a couple of key decisions about house moving etc. (i.e. not to do it!!)
And please please try not to feel guilty - the most useless emotion ever invented - either about getting pregnant or about not feeling full of love for the child-to-be - I am sure you will be a loving mother to this one as to your others, it will be blissfully unaware of creating this turmoil at the start of its life!!

Been a while since I posted (and there was a lot to catch up on....really must go back and read properly....)
I see my doctor today. May be a bit early (I'm only 6 weeks) but I'm going to be out of the country for 6 weeks starting in June and just wanted to get the ball rolling so to speak. Anyone else see their doctor this early? Don't imagine that it will be a very long visit though.
I'm still tired and enjoying having naps with dd after lunch! Not a lot of morning sickness, but I already have to undo some jeans when I sit down. I didn't show with dd until I was about 20 weeks or so. I can't be getting bigger already, can I?!?
Someone asked below about websites for nice maternity clothes - I ordered a few things from Verbedet first time around, they were reasonably priced and good quality. I'm a season out this time though, so will be looking myself as well. Any reason for shopping!
Going to make a brew and read from start now..hope dd sleeps long enough for me do to that in peace....
hope you ladies are feeling well today

hana