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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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November/December babies

564 replies

monkey · 10/03/2003 17:42

Hell, I've just found out I'm expecting No. 3 mid November, and am very excited. A bit scared too - I can't remember a thing! How can I possibly have done this twice already??? Hope more of you can join me soon!

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grommit · 17/06/2003 14:08

Great news Whellid - did you bring ds to the scan? I am 16 weeks now and still haven't told dd (3)..

whellid · 17/06/2003 14:23

Hi grommit. I did take ds to the scan. I didn't want to as I took him to a midwife appointment the other week and he went mad when she tried to take my blood pressure, or tried to listen to the baby. However, my Mum came to the scan as well and wanted to spend some time with ds, and said she'd take him out if it was a problem. In the event although he didn't like it at first he was easily distracted by a breadstick and a poster on the wall! He's still too young to have any idea what's going on, but I keep telling him about the baby anyway.
Good luck with telling dd - is she interested in babies in general?

WideWebWitch · 17/06/2003 14:25

Ah Whellid, that's nice, glad all was well. Grommit, are you skinny or something? (she asked enviously) How have you managed not to tell ds? Whellid I read your message thinking, hang on, she's on the wrong thread, surely she can't be 20 weeks already...and then I realised that I'm 18 weeks on Friday so I'm only 2 weeks behind you, blimey! It's still only just starting to feel real. Rachael17, I'm glad your friends are being so supportive.

WideWebWitch · 17/06/2003 14:25

Sorry grommit, your dd, not ds.

elliott · 17/06/2003 15:00

whellid, how old is your ds? Mine is only 18 months and I'm not sure when to tell him - I'd rather leave it till later when he will understand more (and won't have so long to wait) but I'm not sure how much he might pick up from conversations around him (I'm quite sure he won't notice I'm becoming fat until much later!!)
I'm 16 weeks today and already needing to get into some maternity clothes - eek!!
My scan's not for another four weeks, but I did get to hear the heartbeat a couple of weeks ago when the midwives finally got around to booking me in...

grommit · 17/06/2003 15:01

WWW - skinny??? I wish...! My bump is really showing but dd has not noticed - you know how self-focused they are at 3yo! She has no interest in babies and will probably not welcome the addition to the family too well. I thought the seeing the scan could get her involved.
How is everyone else doing? My sickness has almost gone - HOORAY and I am feeling quite healthy (although eating too much)...

whellid · 17/06/2003 15:38

elliot ds is 18 months as well, and totally uninterested in babies. A quick glance at them and then onto something more exciting is all we manage. We do talk about the baby to him, but he doesn't seem to understand - although he will stick his finger in my navel if I show him where the baby is!
WWW - I know what you mean, I can't believe I'm at 20 weeks already. I know the first 20 go faster than the last but this is silly! We have real space issues to sort out with this baby, and keep thinking we have plenty of time to rearrange the house, but it will soon go.

elliott · 17/06/2003 21:49

interesting whellid - perhaps I should start broaching the subject with ds. He IS interested in babies - always points them out when we see them, or if he hears one cry, and even says 'baby' when he sees a pram! He has a baby doll which he seems quite fond of too. I do wonder whether perhaps he has picked up on our talk about babies and therefore maybe we should tell him sooner rather than later....

Original poster
monkey · 17/06/2003 22:18

Glad you enjoyed it, whellid. I'm going for my next appt (& scan) in a fortnight, this time with my 2 monsters in tow (they were TOTAL monsters in the shop this pm - I can only pray there isn't a repeat performance at the docs!).

My hv felt very strongly that you should tell them asap, certainly once you're into the 2nd trimester. Even the most self-absorbed toddler will pick up on the pregnancy, even if they don't know specifically that there's a baby in there (esp for the younger ones), they'll at least get snippets of conversations or wonder about changing shapes. We told ours when I was 11 weeks I think - more because the older one had guessed, but I'm glad they know & they're alwaays patting my belly or saying hello tot he baby which is really lovely, especially as dh rarely does.

btw I'm very jealous of everyone who is finding time rushing by - this is not ass bad as 1st time, but it's still dragging for me.

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hana · 18/06/2003 00:32

It's been such a long time since I have posted anything. I have been extremely tired, to the point of requesting blood tests earlier than scheduled. When I woke up each morning I'd already be looking forward to naptime with my little girl in the afternoon...... but I'm writing today with terribly sad news - I've lost my baby. Last Friday I had my first scan (13 weeks) I was fairly nervous to begin with....to make a long story short, I was sent for a second scan immediately to another hospital (with better computers) and there I was told that my baby was dying and wouldn't survive much longer. There was severe swelling all over the body that was putting stress on the heart. I was given two choices - do nothing and let nature take it's course (I would miscarry naturally in a matter of weeks) or choose to have a termination. I also had CVS that day to determine if there were chromosome abnormalities - this for future pregnancies should they occur. I know I'm waffling on here, and I apologise if this is too much information for some of you who are healthily pregnant and don't want to know about stories like mine. But I haven't told my friends yet - like many people I was waiting until that scan was over and done with and everything was 'clear'. Of course some close friends knew, but not many. So that makes it that much more difficult to deal with I think. We had an awful weekend deciding

WideWebWitch · 18/06/2003 07:57

hana, I'm really sorry to hear your news. Wishing you strength to cope with this.

grommit · 18/06/2003 08:01

Hana - I am so sorry - you must be devastated. I am thinking of you at this sad time xx

sprout · 18/06/2003 08:07

Hana, so sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you at such a sad time.

Original poster
monkey · 18/06/2003 08:34

Hana, so sorry you've had this terribly sad news. Warmest wishes for you and your family at this awful time. Hope you get lots of the support you deserve from your friends & family. xxx

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M2T · 18/06/2003 08:39

Oh Hana - I'm so sorry. It must be completely devastating. Best wishes to you and your family.

StripyMouse · 18/06/2003 08:57

Hana - what sad news, I am so sorry for you and your family?s loss. My thoughts and best wishes are with you.

whellid · 18/06/2003 10:19

Hana, so sorry to hear your sad news. Thinking of you and your family.

LucieB · 18/06/2003 10:26

Hana - sorry to hear your sad news. Take good care of yourself and you know that we are all here for you if you ever need a cyberchat.
Big hugs

hana · 18/06/2003 10:32

I didn't mean for that message to just end - batteries on the keypad (a cordless thing) died and only figured that out this morning.....

anyways, as you've maybe guessed, we decided upon a termination. It was scheduled for yesterday. The staff couldn't have been more suportive or helpful (take back all the critisism of the NHS I've ever made in the past) and I'm back at home resting. Had lots of thoughts last night of 'what if they were wrong?' 'should have had more opinions' and just the overwhelming thought hit me that I made a mistake. It has helped enormously reading through past postings about similar situations here on Mumsnet. So thank you if you've ever posted yourself in the past. And thank you for your kind messages. I wish you all the best for the rest of your pregnancies through until Christmastime.
hana

princesspeahead · 18/06/2003 10:32

How terrible Hana, I'm so sorry for you. Don't apologise for posting - there are a lot of people on there who have had similar experiences and who I'm sure will be able to support you if you need an extra ear. wishing you all the very best.

elliott · 18/06/2003 10:35

Hana, so sorry to hear of your loss. Are there people around you will be able to talk to about it?

chanelno5 · 18/06/2003 17:19

Hana - so sorry to hear your sad news. Thinking of you x

tinyfeet · 18/06/2003 18:20

Hana - Thinking of you. You have support here. Hugs.

Rhubarb · 18/06/2003 22:34

Very, very sorry to hear your sad news hana. I remember the awful feeling I had when I thought I had lost my baby, and that was only at 6 weeks! I cannot imagine what you must be feeling right now. I hope that time is a healer for you, and that you draw some comfort from your daughter. You'll probably not want to read any of the pregnancy threads for a while, and I can't say I blame you! But if you do need Mumsnet again, we do offer some good sympathies and lots of cyber hugs.
Just as a side thought. Perhaps it would help if you made a contribution to your favourite children's charity in memory of your baby, so that you can always take some consolation that you have made some good out of something bad.

I don't know what else to say, but my sympathies are with you and your family. xx

Marina · 18/06/2003 22:36

Hana, I'm so sad to hear your news. I lost a Christmas baby last summer, and, like you, had to have the end of the pregnancy induced (my baby was already dead and we found out at a scan too). There are many other people on this site who have suffered similar distressing bereavements so please post as much as you need, if it helps, or use "Contact another Talker" if you want to get in touch off-board.
Like you, I found all the hospital staff very compassionate and sensitive and I hope that in due course they can tell you what caused your baby's illness.
You, your partner and your dd are very much in my thoughts.