November/December babies

[monkey]

Hell, I've just found out I'm expecting No. 3 mid November, and am very excited. A bit scared too - I can't remember a thing! How can I possibly have done this twice already??? Hope more of you can join me soon!

All this talk about birth positions and tearing is scary! I'm trying not to think about it all just yet! Last time I tore quite badly and if this baby is bigger than ds (9lb) then I could be in trouble!
Had my scan today, and it confirmed that I'm 14 weeks and there is only one of them in there. So now it's a bit more real.
Hope everyone is doing OK.

Whellid - pleased your scan went well - no you must feel really pregnant! Did you find out the sex?

Hi Elliot - you are quite right about not wanting to be encouraged to push to strongly to avoid a tear. There is loads of research which says that women should not be actively encouraged to push in the second stage. If you push as you naturally desire then the baby emerges more slowly, giving tissues time to stretch. Is someone going to be with you when you give birth? Will you have the opportunity to fill in a birthplan? Where I work, the community midwife helps women complete their birthplan prior t labour. On admission to labour ward the birth plan is discussed again with the midwife who is caring for the woman. It should not be difficult to peruade the midwife that you do not want to be encouraged to push but wish to have a slow delivery.
I have to say though, that there is a difference between encouraging someone to push in a reassuring supportive way, than encouraging them to take a big deep breath, hold it and push for as long as you can. Some women need guidance as they don't feel confident to push with the sensations they have IYKWIM.

When you deliver in the pool, you do your own thing. The good thing is that the water prevents midwives from interfering with you!
Tears do happen as the head delivers, sometimes they unavoidable. The good thing about the pool is that there is nothing preventing the perineum stretching to allow the baby through.

If you feel the baby is coming quickly elliot, it is good to practice 'panting' the head out. By blowing out short breaths you are less likely to hold your breath and push. That wasy the baby's head slides out without the aid of pushing. I am sure if you tell the midwife looking after you about your concerns, they will make every effort to accommodate your wishes.

Thanks Grommit. It is good to know that it's all OK so far. I don't think they can tell the sex yet, that has to wait till the 20 week scan - when we will ask. This one was just to check the dates, so it's confirmed as an EDD of 8th November.
Have held a couple of babies in the last few weeks, and each time ds has run over and tried to push them off my lap - could be fun in November!!

I plan to buy some of those 'first experience books' eg. Topsy and Tim re. having a new brother/sister. Mind you, I tried one for starting nursery and dd would have nothing to do with it!! I don't know if dd (3) suspects anything - I have been very careful not to talk in front of her but she said to me last week "Mummy soon you will have a baby in your tummy" - they're not daft!

I've started pointing out babies in books, but ds is only 16 months old so hasn't got a clue what's going on. He has a couple of picture books that have sisters and brothers in so we talk about that, but he's more interested in pointing out the dog / cat / any other animal that's on the same page!

thanks mears. I know its rather early to be preoccupied about these things!

thanks mears. My labour was very quick, I think - water broke at 3.30, 1st contraction at 4.30, baby at 6.30, still sewing me up at 7.30. I didn't have anythiing - no gas & air, nothing. I felt maybe more than drunk - a cross between paralytic & delerious. I seriously would net have been able to even lift my head for a drink, or even comprehend that that was what was going on, I was really spaced out, and I never want to feel like that again. No one seems to understand this - and I don't seem to be able to describe it very well.

I've got the Balaskas active birth books, loads of stuff actually - I couldn't have been more informed I don't think - antenatal yoga blah blah blah - like I said, after 'missing out' the 1st time (for which I was all up for a water birth) I really had my hopes on a natural delivery, had every possible birthing gadget in the room & was barely conscious for it 7 certainly not able to participate.

Anyway, I'll be thinking of you, www. ikwym about having no. 1 in tow. I had to take no. 1 along to all my antenatal checks last time. tbh it didn't occur to me then, but this time I nearly had to take them & it did worry me in case there was a problem. Anyway, there won't be & you'll be fine. Instead, just think what a thrilling experience it'll be for your ds to see his sibling already. It'll make it much more real for him & he'll be company for you. Where did you decide to go in the end - up to London? Following your (plural) advice, I've told doc I don't want any tests, so feel mostly positive, but a bit nervous about that. You just reminded me about the sore breasts though, and I realise mine have actually stopped hurting! Apart from too-sensitive nipples.

Glad you're feeling a bit better elliott & grommit.

Big congratulations to you Zippyb I guess it's extra-special when you didn't think you'd even be able to have one in the 1st place. Hope you feel well & enjoy your pregnancy. I'm sure dh & ds will be thrilled.

Have just told DH - a bit stunned but is already planning things (very good sign!) Feel really nervous now - I should book in for an early scan (when I was pregnant with ds - was in very awkward position & have been told - because apparently I have a "funny shaped womb" that I was very lucky that ds wasn't an ectopic). Very complicated & not sure I really understand all the medical 'stuff'. I really want to wait a couple of weeks before going but now dh knows don't think I will get away with it. So here I go again! Glad that I can join in & hope you won't mind my moans too. I should have guessed I was pregnant my moods the last couple of weeks have been awful!

Monkey - your labour was certainly very rapid so that is why you probably felt spaced out - a bit like being on a rollercoater. Your body went into automatic pilot. Your next labour may also be quick but less frightening for you because you will recognise the sensations therefore be less likely to be so spaced IYKWIM. No two labours are the same though, but I can understand your worry. Hope you are able to make a decision you are happy with.

I had a scan! The consultant was lovely and scheduled it for the evening as we are a way away from the hospital but were going to be in town - it helps that dh worked there for a while, because we do get good treatment!
He couldnt get an accurate date as the picture was too blurry, but he thinks I am 8-9 weeks (which is what I thought) and its little heart was beating away, which was a lovely sight. I didn't get an overwhelming rush of excitement but I did get a warm feeling that everything is going to be OK now, which is wonderful. I go back on June 16th for a dating and booking appointment. Just thought you would like to know.

That's wonderful news Susanmt..... glad to hear everything is ok with the baby. how are you though? How are the kidney stones??

Susanmt - that is great, you must feel relieved to know all is OK!

I'm not bad thanks. Sick as a pig, but thats about par for the course for me!
The kidney stones seem to have settled down for now. I had one kidney infection which produced, as far as I can see, 4 stones which all passed. The stones are formed during the infections. I have now started taking cephalexin once a day (antibiotic - low dose) to stop me getting any more infections. I didn't really want to do it until the first trimester was over, but figured that a small dose every day is going to be better than huge doses every other week when I get an infection, plus the pethedine I need for the pain (the usual painkillers for kidney stones are anti-inflammatories and therefore cant be used in pregnancy). I'm still nervous, more about the pain than anything, as I am a bit of a coward and the kidney pain is intense. But I'm more relaxed about the whole pregnancy thing now - at least I know I'm not imagining it!

Really pleased to hear your news Susanmt, you sound so up-beat too! Hope your kidneys respond well to the anti-biotics & you can avoid the infectons & stones. It's a wonderful sight, isn't it, the first scan. I'm really pleased for you.

Thinking of you tomorrow, www, let us know how you get on - do you have to wait for the blood test results? I guess they'll give you the scan measurements/ risk ration there & then?

I had my nuchal fold scan today and all was well. My risk went down from 1/300 based on my age alone to 1/1500 based on the scan and triple blood test so that's good. They've said 80% likely it's a boy and I am disappointed since I know I'm not having any more and that means I'll never have a girl to buy pink and glittery things for but hey, I do know that a healthy baby's the main thing and my ds is a complete sweetie so I know it will be ok. Plus I have a house full of action men and lego already...plenty of time to get used to the idea now anyway. It was weird and exciting hearing/seeing the heartbeat, it made me realise it's all real somehow. I don't think I'd really let myself get excited before
Susanmt, good that your stones aren't there atm, long may it continue. Monkey, I did read your labour message and didn't respond just because I had no useful advice. I still don't but I'm sure you shouldn't have been in agony for so long afterwards, I understand why you're feeling worried about next time...it's a while though, plenty of time to ponder on the choices. Hope everyone else is feeling OK.

good news www! Sorry you won't be stocking up on pink frillies - actually I am rather hoping for another boy as I am just hopeless at all things 'girlie'....but mostly I don't mind.
susanmt, hope the stones stay away and good to hear you sounding more positive.
Hope everyone is ok - my midwife is coming to book me in tomorrow (yes, Sunday!) and I am hoping that at least she'll bring the Doppler so I can hear a heartbeat

I'm really pleased for you www - how was ds? Was he there in the end & did he enjoy it? Thanks for your kind words. i guess I'll just have to wait till ny next appt in 3 or 4 weeks time (loosing track) & see what doc says - I changed to him 9 months after the birth & just wish I'd found him sooner, he has a great manner & I have full confidence in him.

elliott - hope she does bring a doppler - I've seen my babe twice now, but still not heard that wonderful sound - the heartbeat. Hoe many weeks are you now, elliott?

Is everyone going to find out gender? I didn't with other 2, & had adamantly said I won't with this one, but I must admit I'm getting tempted, although I'm sure it must be a boy - this pregnancy is almost identical (if not a bit easier) than the others.

WWW, you just answered my question that I emailed you! Must be a relief to know that the baby is healthy!
I had a scan on Wednesday, the blood clot is gone and baby's hearbeat could clearly be seen (could only see one thank goodness!). Next scan will probably be at 20 weeks, I won't bother having any of the others, they sound scary!

WWW - that's great news, a relief to know you have a healthy baby. My nuchal scan is in 2 weeks. There is still a 20% chance it will be a girl!!!

I'm thinking about trying to find out what we are having. Didin't want to know with eith er dd or ds but this time it doesnt seem to be an issue - therefore think I would like to find out. But they wont tell you at our hospital so will have to get dh (with his 6 months obstetric experience) to have a good look at the scan when I go.
I notice RHubarb says she's not having any more tests. Is anyone else doing this? I didn't have anything with either of the others and am going down that route again, no AFP or nuchal scan or anything. It just wouldn't have any effect on the outcome of what we choose to do, so we've decided once again to have the basic scans only (mind you you get about 5 here as they don't have enough to do). Just wondered if I was being really odd.

I see that quite a lot of you have had a nuchal scan - just wondering how many of you can get it free on the NHS and if not how much you were prepared to pay for it? A bit nosy I know, but was so surprised to find out it was going to cost me £179 and still feel a little bit cheated that I couldnt have it just because of cost.....
Glad to see so many of us are still well, happy and coping

susanmt, I've decided against having any tests too for the same reasons as you, I think.. With my 1st two I had a nuchal scan, (just scan, no blood test). This was offered free &, so it seemed as routine. I was quite surprised to later learn that not all areas offered this. I wasn't really aware of this unjust 'postcode lottery' that sadly exists within the NHS.

Anyway, this time I've decided not to. I definitely wouldn't have an abortion, and I definitely wouldn't want an amnio, so we decided there wasn't much point to the nuchal scan, as a even slightly unfavourable result could just cause months of unnecessary worry. I do feel a bit nervous now I've laid my cards on the table though, especially discussing it with www & others. I was even lying in bed last night working out exactly how many days & weeks I am, if this is still within the time limit for the nuchal test, & 'phoning my doc 1st thing monday morning & shouting "I've changed my mind!". I won't do though, but I guess it's just nice to have that reassurance.

Does anyone else have a surgery where it's practically impossible to get an appointment? Ours have introduced a system where they 'release' appointments for the next two days at 8.30 on eg Thursday morning, then the phones are completely impossible to get through on for an hour, and by the time you get through there are no appointments left. I believe this is something to do with following a government edict about everyone getting to see a GP within 48 hours of phoning to get an appointment!! Anyway, that's to explain why after nearly a week of trying to make an appointment I am finally going to see the doc on Monday, after having a controlled fit at the receptionist on Thursday. I'm now 9 weeks, is this very late to go and see the doctor for the first time??

Anyway, I'm not sure what tests they offer here, but I think like susanmt and monkey I probably will only have the basic scan(s), and not amnio or nuchal folds etc etc. That's what we did when dp was pregnant with dd (yes, my life is a bit more complicated than the normal heterosexual arrangement). We wouldn't terminate for Downs so there doesn't seem much point. I know some people do get tests with the idea that that would help them be prepared, and I can see that side of things too, but at the moment I'm still leaning to not having any.

I am still feeling a bit rotten though not as bad as about 10 days ago--had a bit of a bad day yesterday, including ending up on the bathroom floor feeling woozy after a shower that was a bit too hot I think, but dp has been very wonderful in the pampering department (and yes, she does read mumsnet!).

hi there, unfortunately the midwife didn't come today as she'd been out on call through the night - I'm a bit disappointed as I'm now nearly 11 weeks and still don't feel I've had a 'proper' booking appt with anyone!!

Anyway just thought I'd put my hand up and say that I'm not having Down's screening either, but I will be having the standard 19 week scan which checks for structural anomalies. That's not to say I'm not worried about the possibility of Down's - I am, just as I am generally worried about the baby being healthy and ok. I get occasional irrational panics that if I had the screening it would somehow alleviate these worries, but I know when I think it through logically it is not the best thing for me, given that I would not want to have an amnio if the screening deemed me to be 'high risk'.

I also won't be finding out the sex - DH very keen not to, and I lean towards agreeing that it is more 'special' to find out at birth.