Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VI....Share your worries and knicker checking stories here...

[SparkyMalarky]

Will this do?

Hi blue - and welcome Hope (in the nicest way) your MS kicks in soon - mine stopped really suddenly too when I had my MC - whereas this time, just slowly tailed off until I realised that I felt much better at about 13 weeks. Anyway - fingers crossed for this time (and I haven't joined a 'due in' thread either!)

Mumface - really sorry to hear about the split - how you doing? How are your other kids?

And waves hello to all other newbies too This is a lovely thread to hang out on!

Scotlass - the strapless dress is gorgeous! Good luck with the shrug hunt (Boden also has a gorgeous cropped cashmere cardie - but that might be more of an investment piece - although you can get a discount with Mumsnet I think!!). How you doing otherwise? Not too blue I hope - is it too early for a virtual drink? Tea might have to do...

Dan - don't think you'll need that buggy to be a good mummy, but hurrah! Think I have persuaded DH that we need a new one for DC2 - DS will be 3 when it arrives so I don't think I'll need a double - just one with a buggy board - unfortunately, our M&P one is knackered, and we had a quinny buzz, but not sure we can still get the carrycot for it......

Still suffering from a cold here - and reaching the 'non of my clothes fit, so I just look fat, not PG' stage. Hurrah

Hello to everyone else [waves]

Think i am coping ok,it's just strange arranging a divorce when u r PG with their baby & afraid if anything did go wrong won't b able 2 try again& really want this baby.My boys r taking advantage of the fact i am sitting with my head in toilet for hours by touching stuff! ie squidging lipsticks.They r 21mths&4.

Hi and welcome mumface - poor you! You will have your hands full with the current DC's too. Don't panic too much re ms as well - I was horribly sick with my mmc, even after it had died (at 8 weeks, discovered at 12 week scan) and this time I only had dizziness and hunger, and am 29 weeks...all pg's seem to be different!!

You current mums - I am wondering about grobags, when/how early I can use? Asked on the sleep thread and they were all really helpful but its still confusing. I want to use, and have a few (given and bought cheap) can I use from:

a)birth
b)7lb (which might be birth)
c)8lb (also might be birth)
d) 10lb (dear god hopefully NOT from birth)

• If you used, what did you do in the meantime? We have a couple of amby hammocks that we will use in preference to a moses basket. Any enlightenment welcome.

Blue I was too anxious to join an antenatal thread too, in fact only joined our 'list' at 23 weeks or so!! Speaking of which I will find it now - new people don't be anxious about adding to it yet if you don't want to!

GUSSET PATROL GRADUATES
RainRain - 25th September - GIRL
jennylindinha - 27th September - GIRL
Splishsplosh - 28th September - GIRL - 24
Perkypopsy 29th September - GIRL - Stella
Bethoo - 6th October - GIRL - Maia
Ronshar - 6th October - BOY - William
07mumstheword - 19th October - GIRL - Freya
Emmsy1-23rd October - GIRL - Amy
Cricri - 1st November - GIRL- Elise Vivienne
LackaDAISYcal - 6th November - BOY - Finlay

CURRENT CONCEIVED-AIR PASSENGERS
Smilesattheweekend - 9th November
barbareebaa - 11th November
Toratora - 8th December
Jackstini - 12 December
KD73 - 24th December
downbutnotout - 28th January
supersteph - 1st February
dan39 - 4th February (or 7th, or 9th)
winemakesmummyclever - 23 February
bunnyinheadlights - 26 February
Wheelybug - 13 March
Grinningbee - 26th March
Daisy J - 30 March
Scotlass - 21st April
Swaliswan - 25th April
Youknownothingofthecrunch - 25th April
Aquababe - 1st May
Ladyhelen2 - 3rd May
LoobyLou36 - 3rd May
Ses - 10th May
SparkyMalarky - 15th May
divedaisy - 7th May (also 12th, 17th or 19th!!!)
cece - 18th May

Hi Dan,I have always used grobags,mine said from 7LBS.My DC both 8.5LBS so it was'nt a problem.They don't kick a lot when tiny u could just use a pram blanket 4 a few weeks or a swaddling blanket would b cosy in a hammock.It's only if their head can slip down through the top of the grobag its a danger i think.

Hi Ladies.

Just checking in as I haven't been on here for a while. I'm now 18+1! How did that happen? I've not been on because I'm still not very well. I'm off to have blood tests in the morning because I keep on fainting and the GP thinks that I'm anaemic.

Dan, I would just use a sheet and a blanket until your LO is big enough for the grobag. It won't take long and at that age it really is no trouble to have them using sheets and blankets. I took ages to get DD into grobags which was a mistake. I think that she was about four months at the time. This time I'm planning to get some grobags from Tesco. They do really nice grobags that are perfectly practical for a tiny and they're only £10 each. I need to buy some new grobags for DD in size 18-36 months and that is going to be expensive!

Hello girls.

Just had a panic, as small bit of brown jelly appeared on loo paper. But as I had a good scan last week, I feel grim, and the jelly seemed to come just after a funny feeling in my cervix, I'm assuming it's just a bit of shifting around going on. Still a bit sweaty though.

Still haven't been to the GP for booking in appointment. Hardly seems much point, as being seen by the consultant at the hospital already. What else would the GP do other than book a midwife's appointment?

I think it feels like tempting fate, as I'd been to GP for all the pregnancies that miscarried. Madness I know.

Herbaceous. Here's the sig! 42. 9 weeks. 4 MCs.

swaliswan Try TK MAXX if u have one.They do toddler sized gro bags really cheap.Have seen really nice Night garden ones there.

Ooooooo, mumface, I could kiss you! I didn't even know that you can get Night Garden grobags and had forgotten that TK Maxx sell grobags. Will tell DH to get his backside down there sharpish and not return home until he has at least one Upsy Daisy in his arms!

I've just found half price Night Garden sleeping bags on Ebay! Is it really sad that I'm so happy about finding them? I'm off to buy some now. I can't wait to see DD's face when they arrive!

But what about my blobbing?

I wouldn't worry too much, herbaceous. I didn't mean to ignore you, sorry I got a bit carried away. It is quite common to get some brown tinged mucus. I know that I had it quite a bit when pg with DD. I even got three episodes of bleeding with her. In the end it turned out that I had a cervical erosion and the brown blob stuff was just CM tinged with old blood from the cervical erosion. It is very common to get a cervical erosion during pregnancy. I was told to abstain from sex during the first trimester if my cervix was irritable and with my history of mc. I don't know if this is sound advice or not (DH was in Iraq so sex was off the menu anyway). I certainly wouldn't worry about it being your mucus plug coming away. You will know when that happens because it will either come away in one HUGE snotty blob or you will continually get a load of smaller bits of goo coming away for a while that add up to a HUGE snotty blob.

hi all, thank you so much for all your kinds words... has been a rough weekend. Partner came home from work on friday and left me, went back to his Mums...

I didn't try to stop him to be honest, was still so upset over the things he said that day, had a bit of spotting the next day, panicked, no doubt due to stress, my good friend took me to the hospital and rang my ex and told him.. he came to my house that night and we didn't talk but he knew how scared I was so he just held me. We ended up getting quite close, I know stupid stupid me! but I love him and I don't know, this is all so surreal.. went back to hospital sunday morning for scan just to make sure I am ok, and we're 7 weeks, all is fine..

I asked him what is happening as sat night really confused me, he says he thinks maybe it's best if I move on, that he loves me to pieces but resents me for forcing him to have a child which is why we can't work. I told him that we both had a part in this, I didn't lay down on my own and make this baby, it's not my fault. He said he doesn't blame me at all.. so why leave? I don't get it. I told him that if he didn't blame me then why is he running away and leaving me to face it on my own, I also said it's like you're telling me have an abortion and I'll stay (which surely will mean I resent him too?) or have the baby and I'll leave but I want to be as involved as possible in my baby's life.. he didn't bother to respond..

Can you believe this shit? I have a midwife appt this afternoon that he has pleaded to come too (not bad for someone who doesn't want a baby huh?) so now I have to spend half hour with him in a room with the midwife discussing what I have decided to do about the pregnancy.

Thanks Swaliswan. Didn't mean to nag! I'd just been getting carried away with myself, looking up which were the best hospitals to give birth in, etc, and then came blob.

After the scan last week, which put me at 8+4, she said MC at this stage was highly unlikely. So I was reassured for a while. But as I've had two MCs after good scans at 8 weeks, and later, I can't help but still worry.

Sorry Iris - cross-posted.

I think it sounds like he does actually want the baby, and you, but is scared and confused. Not that that helps you much. Be strong, do the right thing for you, and if he wants to fit in - as I suspect he will - all well and good.

Hello all. Have been quiet for a week or so but have been trying to keep up to date with everyones progress.

Welcome to all the newbies. And am sorry to hear of the various troubles some of the DPs/DHs are presenting. Iris it does sound like he is confused so don't let him make any decisions on your pregnancy. I reckon he'll come round.

As for me, now 17 + 1. Am absolutely knackered. The tiredness certainly has not lifted and is not helped by being on call last night and having to go out at 2.30am, not getting back into bed till 5am and up for a normal days work at (ok so I did have a BIT of a lie in )9am. I was supposed to start an ante natal fitness class tonight but have postponed as so damn tired.

I'm not going to let him influence or force me, I was a single parent to my now 9 year old daughter for almost 5 years before her dad stepped up so I know I can cope if I need to..

I'm just really hurt. I don't know if he is confused, I think maybe he just wants out of the relationship, someone we know is trying to set him up with a girl he works with, I have heard that he said he has thought about it.. so maybe this is all just good timing and a convenient excuse for him. If that is the case though then I just don't see why he has to keep coming back, ie, saturday night, if he doesn't want me.

Lastnight he was all, we can't keep going back and forth like this, arguing, not if we're having a baby.. today it's move on, we can't work.. who knows, I just feel like he's totally screwed me over

herb - I am sure the blob is just a bit of irritable cervix, keep calm, think healthy and well thoughts.

iris - my advise to you is do what you want and if he comes around all well and good but you know you will cope regardless. It all does sound very convenient. I think you need to be strong and try to keep him at a bit of a distance atm till you decide what you want. You never know he might miss you!

I am 15 weeks today and in full stress mode. I thought I felt the baby a bit last week but it could have been wind . However, the feelings have now stopped. Now trying to convince myself that all is well and it was just wind, and in fact the baby is not dead inside me.

I could phone mw for a listen but too frightened to as 15 weeks still a bit early for them to use a doppler reliably. If they can't find a hb (for whatever reason) then I will really freak. I have a scan with cons in just over two weeks so trying to wait for that. Hoping to feel more movements soon...

I can tell I am stressed as my tongue is sore where I have been biting it!

cece - 41, 15 weeks, 1 first tri mc and 1 2nd tri mc.

after our conversation this morning I have decided that he will do what he wants baby or not so I just need to take care of myself and little one right now, I am scared that he may just need the excuse and he wants to move on but if he will then he will regardless of what i do or say.. it all sounds so childish too reading it back, the whole situation.. but funny thing is we are both almost 30!

he sounds as though he is about 17! LOL

Tell him to go away and grow up!

haha, I know, I realised when I was reading it.. I will be seeing him at the mw appt in about an hour so will make it clear there that i'm not interested in playing games or back and forth, if he wants to leave then his choice, his loss.

Hi all

ladylush - hope all has gone ok today.

herby - 'try' not to worry - as the others have said, its probably nothing. CM seems to do funny things in pregnancy too so it might just be that but v. easy to worry.

Cece - Its still v. early to be feeling constant movement (as you know) but you're bound to be at a more heightened state of alert and worry at this point. I am still panicking if I don't feel much movement or anything slightly wierd happens and I am 24 weeks (and my m/c was at 7 weeks). I can't imagine what it must be like for you.

Iris - Sorry things are still a bit shit. I think you are right in that you have to focus on yourself and the baby and let your DP sort himself out. Must be hard though.

Dan - I think when dd was born you could only get grobags from 10lbs (or at least the ones I had were) and dd was 4lbs 9 oz so we used sheets and cellular blankets whilst she was in a moses basket and then she went into grobags in her cot at about 10 weeks iirc. Grobags are fab though so I am going to look out for some smaller ones too. OOH something else to add to my (sadly) short shopping list ! Although obviously now I have to go and buy a backwards facing buggy as the one we have is only backwards facing whilst in pram mode. Hmmm.. not sure dh will fall for that one !!

Afternoon ladies.

I need some advice...

I've been having really bad tearing pains down one side, from my abdomen and down my leg on the left side for the last 2 hours, hurts more when I move about.

Does this sound like round ligament thingy?

I'm 17+1 today and felt baby move for the first time last night.

Looby - round ligament pains are quite painful and on the side so it very well could be. Its not round the back is it - could it be sciatica ?

Looby it does sound sciatica or ligament like - do you have a nice mw you could ring and ask?
Wheely and Swali look on eBay for grobags its fab! I bought two this aft (....lucky I am going back to work tomoro or this child would starve) one for £7 and one for £6 (ish - paypal makes it too easy to care too much!!)

cece you might well have felt something but it will be random probably at this stage, tho I bet its not wind! I too panic constantly - I am 29 weeks and she had a really active day yesterday, but this morning after I went for a wee I din't feel anything and ended up contorting my tummy all over the place to wake her up. Poor thing! But the 'dead inside' fear is really hard to shake.

herby the mucus thing sounds common too...wish we could guarantee a 'magic point' when its easier but as mentioned above they are all pretty hard!

Iris agree with others, he is childishly confused and emotional - you just look after you and lo for now and see what happens.

Ladylush hope you ok.