Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part V....Still checking those knickers? Check together here :0)

[LackaDAISYcal]

New thread for knicker checkers every where

Off to catch up with and link the old thread.

Yipee Rainrain. Congratulations to you and DH. I would like to see the details please.

Being pregnant after losing babies is extremly hard. I have been really happy but also really down. I feel a lot of guilt and worry about being happy that this baby is still with me whereas the two I lost are not.
I also worry that because I have spent so long protecting myself incase it goes wrong that I have missed vital bonding time and preparation with this little baby. What happens if I dont love this baby enough because I am too worried about it going wrong?
I am worried that DH has separated himself off from this one because he really finds it hard to deal with emotional things, especially womens stuff!
So all in all I guess I am saying that even when you get to 40 weeks the worry and all the feelings you get bombarded with in early preganancy do not go away it all depends how you deal with it.
They have to be dealt with. Talk to us, talk to the MC association, they were brill for me. I know that Jules also found them to be wonderful to help her get through her losses.

Nothing here girls. I did dream last night I was in labour. When I woke up I was really dissapointed that I wasnt. I have been getting lots of painful contractions but one or two then nothing!

Ronny i felt that too even during labour, but as soon as they put her on me it all went away and i just felt a massive sense of achivement also my dp was quite detached from the whole thing until we got home and reality kicked in that she is real and isn't going anywhere. i would tell you to get on with the nipple stim/pineapple/running up and down stairs etc but they dont blardy work

Congrats rainrain she is bootiful x

ILTS, it is funny how we try to protect ourselves from it all. It is great yours has a brilliant ending and everyone is happy

I am bored fiddling with my own nipples. They are sore before I even get a baby to try and feed from them

Sleep while you can!! DD is screaming her head off for no apparent reason I need to invest in some earplugs!! or it might be because i have put some shoes on her and she hates shoes and gloves but i dont care they go with the outfit and she will wear them, the foot is down.

Joyful so sorry you feel down. I think we all know what its like and others have posted good advice. But you're not alone.

I heard it said once, probably on here, that a miscarriage sucks all the joy out of pregnancy. Never has a truer word been spoken. I see friends sail through conceiving and pregnancy without a second thought about the possibility of loss, whereas I and probably all on this thread struggle on a daily basis. The spectre of a mc happening never ever goes away. I am so jealous of all those who never have to worry every time they go for a wee.

I am not letting myself get excited. I haven't even worked out my EDD yet and I am 9weeks into this pregnancy. I just can't shake the thought that any moment it could go wrong.

CONGRATULATIONS rainrain she is beautiful!! How exciting for all of you!

Ronny fingers still crossed for you...keep us in the loop!

Ilts I like that firm no nonsense approach to parenting that you have adopted. It is clear who wears the trousers in your gang.

ladyh I think not working out the due date makes perfect sense in this kinda situation. When you get past the date of previous losses it gets breifly easier but not really...its all a bit of a slog!

joyful hope you are feeling okay today...

joyful hope you're feeling ok. Being pg after a mc is such a double edged sword - thrilling and terrifying all at the same time.

I've only had one at 9 weeks so I can't imagine what it's like for those of you who've lost in the second trimester. I suppose you can only take one day as it comes.

LadyH - how are you feeling? I followed you over from MC avengers

It's so lovely to hear from all those with new babies! It really does give us all hope that everything might be ok.

As for me, have started to feel so awful that it can't just be PG, am convinced I must have a bug and am terrified about my scan tomorrow morning - but at least this time tomorrow I should know whether things are going as they should...or not I keep preparing for the worst, and DH is super positive and saying I have to keep believing. It just seems to difficult, when this is the exact stage that I knew I was going to lose the last one.

Anyway - good luck to everyone else who has scans this week and congratulations on the new arrivals

Hey all,

Someone has invited me to this thread so I thought I'd come and join in.

I'am 4wks 4days pregnant after miscarrying at 5 weeks a couple of months ago. I'm suffering with some cramping today and for the past week since finding out I was PG, I've been constantly knicker-checking and I'm terrified in all honesty....

I'm also suffering with constipation so started taking lactulose on Saturday. I'm hoping the constipation (the medicine hasn't worked yet), could be the reason for the cramping that I'm suffering today... Boobs are still really sore and that was the first thing that disappeared when I MCd last time so I'm hoping that's a good sign also no sign of any brown/red CM. My lower back and abdomen are slightly cramping, not too painful though, but my CM seems to be slightly heavier today, although still white/yellowy in colour as it normally is. Plus my best friend (who's just had her second baby), told me that CM often gets heavier during PG, so another reason that I don't want to get too worked up...

Any advice anyone can give me about how to cope with these symptoms and feelings, I would be most grateful....

Hope all you ladies are feeling Ok today!!

xxx

Sparky all the best for your scan tomorrow, think positive and sticky thoughts and try to enjoy iy too. Its a tricky time.

DawnAS welcome and congrats on your pg! The best advice is to stay here, you are among friends who have all had the same experiences and are consequently quite, quite bonkers (but in a good way) - I remember comparing the two pg's and how I felt/didn't feel at every stage. Sore boobs good but that going isn't an automatic indicator either so don't panic if it goes. Crampy feelings seem to be dead normal too. Do you have any appointments, scans etc to worry about focus on?

sparky hello. Hope all goes well tomorrow. Its bloody nerve wracking isn't it, but if you are feeling lousy, well thats a good sign isn't it?
Am feeling pretty rubbish. My symptoms started at about 6.5weeks. Morning sickness?Pah. More like afternoon and getting worse in the evening sickness. I end up falling asleep in front of the tv most nights by 9pm. Still, the moment I feel ok, I inevitably start to worry! So I'm not really complaining. I have convinced myself that I definately feel worse than the last one and the one before that, (both ended in mc at 9 and 11 weeks) so that must be good????

Hi Dan,

Thanks for your post. The cramps have definitely eased this afternoon - while the gassiness has been exited ( ), I think I'll be banished to the upstairs all evening this evening!!

I haven't actually called my doctor yet. I've decided that I'm going to wait until 8 weeks I think... I know that sounds mad but I would just rather know that I was nearly at the 12 weeks if that makes sense....

Sparky - firstly HI and good luck for tomorrow.

xxx

Good luck for tomorrow sparky.

Welcome dawn - hope you find as much support here as I have. I can't comment on the CM I'm afraid - I was always completely rubbish at spotting changes in mine. I do sympathise about the constipation though, I used to tackle it with buckets of prunes.

And as for me, I'm walking on air! Saw a very lovely paediatric surgeon from Great Ormond Street today who assured us that although they're not certain what the cyst is, the two most likely possibilities should at the most result in an operation in toddlerhood. He also confirmed that otherwise the baby appears to be in perfect health and should have no problems. Hurrah - I would marry him, if I weren't already spliced to dh.

Thanks DBNO and what good news from GOSH. We know a few people who have (unfortunately) had dealings with them and they all say how fabulous the docs are there. Fab enough to marry!

Fingers crossed for an uneventful rest of pregnancy!

Dawn - hello and how's the gas? I've heard the same about CM - and understand completely about not wanting to call the docs. If my local hospital didn't get booked up so quickly I'd have waited (and in the meantime, still haven't received any info from them...grrr). LadyHelen made a v good point earlier about having a m/c taking the joy out of being PG. All too true and we just have to get through each little bit - and in the meantime we're all here to listen, sympathise, panic with you!

ladyhelen in the nicest possible way, I'm v pleased you're feeling so rotten! All good signs surely (hmmm, maybe I should listen to my own advice!)

Right - off to try and eat a sandwich (couldn't eat much last night so when my MS kicked in properly this morning had nothing to throw up but bile - sorry, TMI but yuck ) and think lots of sticky thoughts. Will let you know what happens.....

Morning all!!

So lovely to find yet another thread of really nice ladies on MN!!

Now this is a bit TMI but I wonder if you can tell me whether I'm thinking along the right lines.... I've heard that having an orgasm can make the cramps quite bad... Well last night I had one of "those" dreams (apparently another PG symptom ) and was woken out of the excitement of the dream with a horrendous pain. So I got up and went to the loo, fearing the worst and there was nothing. By the time I came back from the loo, the pain had gone and I haven't had it since. Could it have been related to the dream do you think? See what I mean about TMI ?

Still haven't been to the loo. Been taking Lactulose now since Saturday so hoping that it will starting working soon...

At least I had a better nights sleep last night so I feel Ok today. Just about crampy with the constipation...

Thank you Downbutnotout and Sparky for your comments and support. Good luck for the scan today Sparky!!

xxx

joyful so sorry to read that you are feeling down. I can only agree with what others have said re thinking about counselling and taking things one day at a time and trying to stay positive.

I suppose we assume different kinds of emotional flak jackets in RL as our coping mechanisms. Mine has been to keep myself quite detached until the last week or two. Now, speaking from a psychological health POV, it may not be the healthiest way of dealing, but it has been working for me. That is not to say that I don't worry about the baby. I'm just trying to keep a lid on things, especially in RL.

Now that I am 20w (had 1st mc @ 18w, 2nd @ 11w (my dates) or 14w (hospital dates)), I am starting to relax a wee bit. Have got scan next week (@21w - the wait is killing me!) and I think then, if I know all is ok, I can begin to really invest emotionally in this pg. Sounds cold and calculating when I write it down, but it is the only way I can stay sane at the moment. I know that nothing in life is a given, but it is just the huge amount of uncertainty that I cannot deal with right now.

Congrats rainrain on your little raindrop - will take a peek at your pics when get more time. Hope you and your family are doing well and settling into chaos family life nicely.

Ronshar - hope things are ok with you and you are not too fed up with the waiting. Hope things get going soon for you and that all goes well.

Better go - have a million and one things to do and am still sat in my pj's and ds is suspiciously quiet in the kitchen

wmmc I was the same and its not at all cold and calculating - I think its survival!! I waited til after the 20 week scan (at 21 weeks) before letting myself really believe - and I am sure I will still wobble at points. But getting past those dates is crucial I think, in fact it would be odd not to want that. Its a blimmin' roller coaster, this whole business!!

Now off to be cross with dh who (thinks he has) sneakily gotten a taxi to work (which costs £20!!!)cos he couldn't be bothered getting up... methinks there will be discussions later!

Hey - all fine perfect size for dates and good heartbeat

So - can relax for today and start panicking for the next scan tomorrow!

How's everyone else?

Hurrah sparky!!

Dawn - blimey you have the best questions!! Unfortunately I can't comment too much from experience on orgasm pains in pg (libido has upped and left for the duration) but I can say that all kinds of weird pains are very much par for the course in pg and shouldn't be a cause for concern unless accompanied by fever or bleeding (and not always then!)

Frantically trying to catch up with everyone - just don't have the time for MN at the moment, but can't stay away!

ronshar - lol - sorry about the nipples. Mine are quite sensitive at the best of times, so I'm wincing for you!

Dawn - glad you found us - a miracle with my crap link-posting! Cramps defninitely normal after orgasm, but 'horrendous pain' sounds a bit worrying. Could it have been wind - I'm not trying to be witty, by the way. Just that wind can be agony, and if you haven't had any other scary symptoms then I'd be tempted to think that's what it was, with you being constipated 'n' all. By the way, my sympathies on that - I too have suffered .

rainrain - what a very beautiful baby. I mean, they all are in their own way, but yours really is .

Sparky - great that all okay and you can now relax for, oh, five minutes at least

joyful - so sorry you've been feeling blue. Hope everyone else's words have helped. It's such a confusing time. My first due date was yesterday, and I actually forgot about it until about 5 (having been thinking about it quite a lot last week), and felt so sad and guilty for forgetting on the day itself that I cried for about 10 minutes, and then felt guilty for crying for the first baby when I have this one to think of. I really feel for what you're feeling (if that makes sense). .

And finally [trumpet fanfare], I would just like to announce that I have HAD SEX! Yes, finally, after 15 weeks of abstaining and 10 days of erotic dreams I've managed to overcome my phobia. Poor patient DH says he now feels like we're 'proper' husband and wife again. Bless.

Well done DaisyJ.

Still nothing. Getting bigger every day. I think it is going to be a 10lb.
If anyone wants me I am the one in the corner looking scared with her legs firmly closed.

Hi everyone.
sparky so pleased about your scan!
ronny now uncross those legs, that baby's going to put in an appearance when it's good and ready - hopefully soon.
daisyj you're so lucky. Poor DH and I are too terrified. I'm still only 12+4wks (however feel like I've been pg for a year, which I have on and off) and don't want to jinx things.

I'm finding it really hard to keep it secret but am still too scared to tell DD. When did you all tell everyone in RL? I'm tempted to break the news following booking next week when I'm 14wks but it could still go wrong so am not sure.

Hi All

Glad scan went well Sparky.

Scotlass - We told people at different times. I told my Mum within a couple of days of finding out as I needed someone to discuss all my niggling worries with other than dh. Then we told our best friends at about 8 weeks as we went on hols with them and it would normally be a drinkfest. Then I told a couple more close friends at about 10 weeks (I had a scan at 10 weeks). Then we told dd at about 13 weeks as we had the '12 week scan' and people were beginning to talk. Then DH was rushed into hospital so another 3 weeks passed before we told anyone else so there were actually lots of v. close friends who we've only just told and I'm 17 weeks. I think there's probably some we haven't even told yet. Now I look like a weeble though every time I go to nursery to drop/pick up dd at least 2 people ask me if I'm pregnant so there's no hiding it now .

My cousin had a horrible experience with losing her 2nd pregnancy at aobut 25 weeks and after that (she's had 3 subsequent children) she didn't tell anyone for ages - i.e. we didn't find out (along with her father who she isn't entirely close to but still) until about 4 weeks before the baby was due.

I think its natural to delay telling people - its hard to get over the 'I'm going to jinx it if I tell people'.

POPSY - if you're lurking - hope all is ok. I saw on another thread you have induction booked for the weekend - hope you don't need it but good luck in case. Good luck too to RONSHAR, uncross those legs - powers of positive thinking and all that.... runs away....

oh and how could I forget to say congrats to DaisyJ .

I think I am on my way. No home birth for me. Bloody staff shortages.
Will feel stupid if it stops now!!