Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part V....Still checking those knickers? Check together here :0)

[LackaDAISYcal]

New thread for knicker checkers every where

Off to catch up with and link the old thread.

Dan, my DH still doesnt want to look at baby stuff. I am due on Monday. It doesnt get real for some men until the baby is actually here and looking at them with those " I love you daddy eyes". Especially the little girls. Speaking as a mum to 2 DD's. Daddy is putty in their hands.

Joyful, it is good the spotting has settled but do get some reassurance from midwife if you need it. If they know you are stressed they do mostly try to help.

ILTS has it really been 5 weeks. Brooke is beautiful.

How is everyone else today?

Healthy and well, healthy and well.

your due on monday where did that time go??? i'm sure lifes passing me by at 1000mph and before i know it ill be sitting in my rocking chair plaid blanket on lap gumming a werthers original

shes very smiley...to mummy...not daddy HA!!!!! i finally have a child that favours me over him HA!!!!!

Good morning, Ladies!

Have been reading through all of your updates and thought I'd add a little one of my own....

I'm 11 weeks now and STILL haven't heard from the midwife (not that it's driving me mad, or anything). Anyway, because I'm going a bit bonkers about how soon my scan should be, I phoned the team again today and spoke to the same woman as last week. She just took my details and said that the midwife would be in touch. She was very good at controlling the call and was about to get rid of me when I started to explain why I'm anxious (had a mc earlier in the year, don't really care about booking appt, just want to see heartbeat on scan etc etc). All of a sudden she was extremely sympathetic and even more lovely than normal and explained that I can have my scan before my booking appt if midwife talks to me over the phone (now that I have explained my anxiety to her). It seems that the I-know-that-I'm-neurotic-and-annoying-but... approach really does get you somewhere! She also said that I'm perfectly allowed to be a bit nutty and it will only take an absolute maximum of a week to arrange a scan!

That confirms it, we are the ones who are normal as that is how to get stuff done. The more nuts the better.

ILTS, yes I know how you feel. Life just seems to be going by so fast. Apart from this pregnancy this year has dissapeared. Christmas next

Did someone say........CHRISTMAS?!

Jingle bells, jingle bells...

Yay christmas!!

halloween first though!!, the only day of the year i get to scare the bejesus out of the kids without feeling guilt afterwards

ronny thanks for that, made me laugh out loud. I will just quietly get on with it then and try not to be so cross with him about it!

swaliswan go girl with that assertiveness!! Scan soon then - keep us posted!

Hello everyone, I'm home!!!

Just had my first appointment with the mid-wife, which was a little odd, as the last time I saw her was the day after I find out I'd had my third miscarriage. She knew all about it, but came round anyway for a chat, and it turns out that she had three miscarriages after conceiving naturally, and only ten days earlier had lost twins conceived by IVF. Her age is such that that was last chance saloon for her, and she is/was coming to terms with the fact that she'll never have children. Clearly a dreadful thing to happen to anyone, but imagine what that is like when your working life revolves around pregnant women.

She was really supportive after the mmc, and was completely professional today, but it is a little disconcerting talking to her about my pregnancy when I know her history.

Anyway, I have booking scan first thing next Tuesday. I keep telling myself that if that is OK, I will start to believe I really will have a baby, but we'll see. I might, at least allow myself to buy some maternity clothes! Being away was really good for taking my mind off the wait - now that I'm back, Tuesday can't come quickly enough.

Hope you are all well and looking forward to the weekend.

...monday ronny!!!! how exciting.

I have oodles to catch up on and will be back later

35 weeks for me now.......

Phew, what a busy couple of weeks.

mm, if you are still lurking, so so sorry lovely . I hope you are doing OK, and you knew where we are if you need to talk. I was so hoping for more positive news for you.

Hi there to all the newbies and welcome to the thread....this is my second visit here after having my DD last June and I couldn't have got through both pregnancies without it, having had two miscarriages between DS, 6, and DD. Sticky thoughts and a bit of "healthy and well" vibes to you all.

and now then.......SplishSplosh . Can't believed I missed the main event. Congratulations lovely and welcome to the world little sploshy. Is there an announcement thread anywhere?

and now a bit of intrigue...came across an old friend on another thread earlier today...but obviously can't say who, as she hasn't popped up here yet

Hi to everyone else......and lolling at the thought of seaslugs FlossieF; how you have managed to not be constantly puking I don't know.

Five weeks and counting for me....it's all getting a bit too close for comfort. Am meeting my doula later to talk over some stuff prior to my consultant appointment to discuss my VBAC on Monday.

will try and keep up a bit more

dan39 sleepsuits and hats, cute enough to make you weep , think men don't get it until babe pops out. dh didn't come to my scan this week, as he put it "seen one, seen them all". I think the scan lady was surprised I was by myself, couldn't think of a good excuse for dh's absence..I think he would have come if I'd insisted but I thought that was not in the spirit of things. Having said that he will no doubt be delighted when the great day arrives.

Did anyone worry they were getting depressed? I know that being anxious is normal in a post loss pregnancy but I'm starting to think I'm losing my marbles.

I've been lucky to conceive quickly after both my losses but my pregnancy wth my son (after an early 2nd trimester loss) was nothing like as terrifying as this. I keep think that I can't survive another loss. I miss my baby so much, I should've been 30 weeks pregnant not freaking out about not feeling sick enough. I keep thinking that if I lose this one too I'll never be strong enough to try again. I don't even want a scan because that will make it too real.

After my first miscarriage, it was awful but I could just think I was unlucky. It was a horrendously complicated perganacy & not a shock that the baby died. Last time was perfect though, absolutely perfect - how many people have babies who just die for no reason at 18 weeks? I can't imagine having a baby, & I'm too scared to try and imagine because it will hurt even more if it dies. I haven't even told dh the due date or how many weeks I am.

joyfuleyes

I am sorry you are feeling like this. Did you get any counselling after your second trimester loss? I lost a baby at 18 weeks too. They could find no reason. However, the consultant told me that was a good sign for future pg as it was most likely a one off thing. Remember late mc are rare, something like 1% so the chances of it happening again are low.

I had counselling afterwards and have found it very useful in coming to terms with our loss and learning to live with it more easily (that isn't quite the right word but can't think of the right one at the moment!)

Having said that I do have an 8 week scan booked for next Weds and I know I will be terrified.

joyfuleyes - so sorry you are feeling this way, butI think many of the ladies here can empathise with feeling stressed and unhappy about pregnancy as the fear of loss is so dreadful, and not all of us have had the terrible experience you have had of losing a baby past 12 weeks. I echo cece's comments - I think you should consider counselling on these issues and your GP/midwife should be able to get you referred to someone appropriate.

I also sympathise about not wanting to tell your dh. I have found mine is holding himself a little aloof from this pg as a way of protecting himself against pain - I would like him to come and fell the baby kicking, but I can tell he is reluctant. These are very stormy waters for us all - let's try and sail through them together as best we can.

Thinking of you and hoping you are being kind to yourself.

joyfuleyes first of all I'm so sorry about your previous losses, I found my 3 hard enough to bear and they were all in the 1st trimester so I can only imagine how devastating to get to 18 weeks and lose a baby . I do think subsequent pregnancies get harder to keep positive and your past experience has a big bearing on this. I've never had counselling but I think it's either something you will feel will help or maybe you don't feel ready yet. I would definately speak to your GP and talk through your feelings with him/her.

I think we think we're protecting ourselves from hurt if we pretend we're not pg and don't think about a due date but deep down we know the pain we may have to face. Each week that passes though you hopefully will draw a bit of strength from and it's amazing how we do cope when we really have no other choice. My coping advice is don't think too much about the future just take each day/week as it comes.

joyful I am so sorry you are so and I would second all of the above - particularly 'one day at a time' - its the only way to get through, to be really thankful for each successful day, and each successive stage you get to - even tho its so scary leading up to each visit/appointment/procedure. You know yourself best and if you think counselling would help you then give it a go a talking through your fears can be a good way of feeling you have some control over them.

I lost mine at 8 weeks discovered at 12 week scan so I was not as far on as you and 18 weeks was obviously heartbreaking for you. But it does mean you get scared of every stage up to and beyond this date, as you think they are gonna tell you something awful again. It is hellish, and scary, and lonely, and the worst thing I think is that its out of your hands.

Try to hold onto the 1% thing that cece points out, too - and don't feel wierd about not telling your dh details yet, I and many others have done exactly the same for reasons of protecting ourselves and them.

Some people in RL have been really impatient with me re my negativity so I just avoid them - what we need is support and acceptance of how we are feeling as we go thru this. So chose your friends in RL carefully, and keep on using us cos that's what here is all about.

I can honestly, genuinely say that this thread and the people on it have been a really important - in fact crucial - part of my life for the last 5 months or so as I have crawled hrough the weeks of this pregnancy (bugger I am blubbing now and can't see to type)as everyone is so supportive and so nice. So stick with us...!!

Got to go compose myself now.

Joyful - sorry to hear you're feeling down. I have 'only' had 1 earlyish m/c followed by 2 years unexplained infertility and even then I was pretty messed up in the first trimester and felt v. scared and was easily in tears with worry. Things have eased off a bit now for me as I'm way passed when things went wrong but even so I am often worrying about it going wrong. I think when you are so aware (and you are more than most) of how things can go wrong its hard not to think of it all the time.

Just wantd to say good luck ronny fot tomoro - any movement yet?? Thinking of you...

Hello everyone. Just popping by to let you all know that baby rain (girl) made her entry into the world on Friday 3rd at 1pm. 7lb 9oz - She is perfect and we are finally home today. DD and DP are over the moon, and I am just in tired awe.
Thanks everyone for all your support over the last 9 months - couldn't have done it without you knickercheckers!!

YAY - huge congrats rain, mr rain, dd and baby. Name and full birth story link, please!!

Congratulations rainrain - she looks grogeous in the picture (I am assuming that it is of her?!)

joyful {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}. Again, both my losses were first trimester so I can't even comprehend what it must be like to lose a baby that late on. Depression is very sommon in pregnancy and more so in women who have had a previous loss. I'm fairly sure my miscarriages were a huge factor in the antenatal depression i suffered when pregnant with DD. Please talk to your GP to see about arranging some counselling and to tell him how you feel. In the meantime, the miscarriage association helpline might be a good place to turn to; they have trained counsellors to talk to, the majority of whom have suffered a loss themselves.

Congratulations rainrain....and welcome to your little raindrop

ronny.....any news?

she is beeeeoooooootiful

oh rainrain she is a beautiful raindrop!! Well done to you and many happy times ahead for your family. That's the lovely confusing thing about this thread it's a complete roller coaster and when at times we find it hard to believe someone graduates and restores our faith that there can be gold at the end of a rainbow.

Many congrats rainrain