TTC GRADUATES! Onwards and upwards :-))

[firststar]

Message withdrawn

Fettle - marcy is getting better. she has just started doing the cuddle thing in the past week or so too! when i say "give mummy a cuddle" she does! just in time too i reckon, cos i can forgive all her screeching and grumpiness now!!! she has been better since i got her some cruisers cos now i can get her out of the buggy and she can wander around holding onto my hands. kills my back though............i could do with being a foot shorter or she could do with being a foot taller!!! they do the same at ellis' school with the question thing. before you ask a question you have to ask yourself if you know the answer, then ask 2 people on your table and if nobody knows then ask the teacher!!! lazy cow teacher i say!!! Is my son really supposed to be learning stuff from other 5 year olds in his class? actually he is normally the one telling the others the answers cos he is a bit of a girly swot really.

hey seaside!! good to hear all is well with you. i put ellis and kiki into a preschool for 2 sessions of 3 hours a week when they were 2 1/2. ellis loved it, but kiki didnt, but i would do it again with marcy. before that it was just a childminder one afternoon a week, who was just like a nicer version of me really. bum shuffling isnt great believe me! she is super speedy now and does it no handed, at least she still cant climb the stairs, but she does get filthy tights, trousers and skirts...............i have a nicely polished wooden floor though!

mrs - you cant worry about lifting xavier whilst pg. its just something you have to do second and third time (and fourth, fifth, sixth!), especially when you have them close together. lets hope he walks early so he can get some idependence quicker for your sake. i think i made ellis grow up very quickly because i knew he was going to be the big brother and not the baby anymore. i think it did him the world of good, he is a lovely thoughtful, sensitive, caring, protective boy and very grown up for his age! (obviously, i know he is going to be gay!)

bodders - poor little isla sitting on her lunch. see, your stories are funny, mine are just unbelievably stupid!

chooster - it was only 10 hours i was locked in for cos we lived in outer london and everyone in our flat were commuters. and no, i didnt have a book, and if i had i couldnt have read it cos the light was one of those timer ones that you press and it stays on for about a minute and then goes off. it is a true story honest!!! im sure they didnt believe me at work the next day though! what is dh studying? glad to hear his anger management lady is getting him to manage his anger!

all this talk of baby kisses! marcy gives very demure, tightlipped kisses with a little 'mch' noise..............none of this revolting slobbery kissing going on here!!!

honey - how is your friend doing? how did your expessing attempts go?

hello everyone else.

Toby doesn't kiss[pout] - but then I've never asked him for a kiss, so I don't suppose he knows how to!! He's been so exhausted recently that he's been going to bed before 6pm! May get him some cruisers Greeds, as that might save me some socks as I lost at least one a day at the moment!!

Thanks for your thoughts on DD, I'm not really worried at all now about it, as I've discussed it with her and she seems fine and happy about it! I'm in a real grump though this evening, not sure why, but I'm off for a drink and then I have to continue scrubbing my house as my in-laws arrive tomorrow (all I've done all day while Toby was at nursery apart from an hour at the gym).

Lovely to hear from Scorpio, Seaside, Iamamummy and Rainbowdays - glad to hear all is going well. I put DD in nursery full-time from 9 months as I went back to work and now Toby does 1 day a week at nursery - which he is loving. They finally noticed he's a monkey today as he spent all day climbing under/over/on top of anything and everything that could be climbed on! Wasn't sure if they were getting a bit exasperated with him! Can you get kicked out of nursery for being a minx I wonder?

xxx

just been mooching around on MN and so much stuff goes on that i didnt know about.

anyone remember impatience and chocolatedays from their ttc days? they both have little babes now! choc from ivf and impatience from her partner. and poor Rah finally got pg only to have a m/c at 6 weeks. life just isnt fair sometimes is it?

anyway...................off to eat dinner now.........................all 3 of mine have been angels today so i am off to celebrate! its a rare occurence these days that they are all angels all day!!!

Oh poor poor Rah!

Was in a good mood until I read that. She was always so lovely despite losing her little Bertie while pg.

Anyway, my in-laws here at mo - they watching Gardener's World - think DH is bored as he's just cracked open the Whisky!!! Me and ma-in-law are attacking the Grand Marnier! Persuaded DH against opening the Port!

Hope you all have good weekends.

xxx

Oh no, I had not read about Rah, my heart goes ouw to her, it is so cruel how things go sometimes.

I dont really remember Rah, I dont think she was on that much when I was ttc, but I know you guys remember her well. Such sad news about losing another. . Impatience was gay wasn't she? And trying for a baby using artificial insem? Wow, fab news that it worked (if that is the person I'm thinking of..) Its great to have a mooch round MN when things are quiet at home.

Speaking of which DH and DS1 are out and Theo is sleeping so I really should be doing something more constructive . Dusting or MN... Actually its such a beautiful day up here today that maybe a cup of tea outside...

No time to catch up tonight girls sorry but I am gutted for Rah, life can be so cruel lovely news for Chocolatedays and Impatience though (think they had a DS already from her partner and the same donor?) hugs to you all and I'll be back soon x

p.s got a cheese craving going on

I had a big cheese craving with both my boys... Mmmm, grilled cheese sandwiches... . Hope you're all well x

Hi all...

Was Impatience the one you called "perve" Greeds? That's great that they have a baby, shame it didn't work out for her, but lovely that her partner was able to. There is a boy in Nelly's class who has "2 mums"...they are lovely and very funny and open about being gay. Nelly hasn't asked any questions yet, but guess it will only be a matter of time!

Really sorry to hear about Rah...I don't really know her, but she was a tempbuddies regular wasn't she? That's so hard for her.

Chooster - glad to hear your DH's "shrink" is helping him. I sometimes think I could do with a bit of "anger management" myself as I have a terrible temper that comes out of nowhere (remember the teacup throwing episode? there have been more than a few of those over the last year), especially if I'm a bit sleep deprived.

Fettle - Sounds like the school is handling your DDs "enthusiasm" well.

Right, had better go, Nelly is causing all sorts of mayhem while I'm on here. I have tried to persuade her to watch telly for a bit but she says she is quite happy trashing the house playing

Hello everyone else!!!!

Sorry for no personals I will come back and read back I promise.

Wanted a bit of advice from you wise ladies. It?s about my DH, I?m feeling so lonely and I just don?t know what to do about my DH

Lately he is so aggressive at the slightest thing and calls me all sorts of horrible things, even in front of the little man which makes me see red when he?s in a mood he?ll just ignore DS and act incredibly selfishly for hours.

Today, he was furious because I wasn?t home when he got back at lunchtime and his lunch wasn?t ready. Before I saw to DS or myself, I made his lunch and he just sat in front of the computer ignoring both DS and I. I was shattered having been out all morning and sat down to eat my lunch. No sooner had I sat down he started ranting and raving about an email from our removal man (very long story but basically the man is a crook and owes us money both for packing materials and for breakages) and insisted I read it there and then. Which I did. He wanted to reply immediately but I suggested he waited until the evening until we had decided what we were going to do before making threats of legal action that we wouldn?t follow through. He then went off on one shouting that my head was mince, that I was a crap lawyer and had no spine etc etc. I lost my temper and yelled that it was precisely because I was a lawyer that I wanted to assess our chances of success either here or in Scotland before lighting the match on the situation. He got up, slammed the door and left. I was shaking and felt so sick. I am so tired at the moment anyway being 5 weeks pregnant and as I say I?d been out all morning. I felt unwell all afternoon and was scared for the baby Anyway, I happened to see out of the window that he left on foot and didn?t take the car to work which suggested to me that he was planning on going drinking after work. Right enough, he finishes work at 6pm and isn?t home yet, I haven?t had a call, nothing. To be honest, I?m almost happy he?s not here but it?s not fair on the little guy who hasn?t had any Daddy time today and I had to do the whole bedtime routine alone which he normally does ½ of. I don?t begrudge looking after my son, far from it but how selfish is my DH??? I am just so angry that he thinks he can treat his baby son like that and me, especially when I am pregnant.

Would love to hear what you would do now. I can?t just let him off with this behaviour can I? Thanks

Scorpio ? glad you had a nice holiday

Hey Chooster ? if only your DH could teach mine a thing or two hey? so glad things are going well there. Appointment with Dr went well he was very through and totalling understood my issues which was a massive relief. He did a scan and I am only about 4 weeks gone but all is looking fine and so I?ve started meds. He also told me that I had PCOS (which I suspected as both my sisters do) and prescribed me progesterone for the 1st 10 weeks to support the pregnancy, more drugs! scary thing is that my heparin shots cost 5 euros each I am NOT totalling up how much this pregnancy is going to cost!!! DH?s job seems ok, a bit slow but that?s just the market. I met another Theo today they call him ?Teo? as the ?h? is silent here LOL at your boys kissing in the bath!!

Iamamummy ? the dr is Spanish but speaks fluent English (which means DH can understand him) how are things with you?

Rainbowdays ? Jak 6 months wow!! I only stopped BF about 7 weeks ago and I am 5 weeks pg! fingers crossed for you xx

Greedy ? Ahh Marcy cuddles LOL at Ellis being a swot! I hear what you say about Ellis being the big bro I?m already starting to think of X in those terms.

Hey Fettle ? how long are the in-laws with you? LOL at Toby climbing on everything

Hello Bodders

Now 11.18pm and no DH ?..

mrs - i just wanted to say [hugs] i really feel for you thats all you need an unsupportive dh when you are pregnant. is he very stressed at the moment? maybe try saying to him how he is making you feel and you are worried as you are now pregnant with baby no.2 and he should be helping out a lot more not swanning off down the pub and you really need him behind you 110%. we have had more than our share of ups and downs for one reason or another since oscar came along - the main one being really that dp is now the breadwinner and i am the SAHM so therefore the house should be immaculate, dinner freshly prepared and on the table and all business paperwork up to date aswell as other ridiculous things i am expected to cram into a 24 hour day whilst looking after an 8 month old baby. do you think maybe your dh is expecting you to play the old fashioned housewife role?

things are not too good here, feeling the pressure of the credit crunch and to top it all off dp has done his back in so its panic stations.

love 2 all xx

Oh Mrs - hope DH came home ok last night?

If it is any conciliation, I think we've all had our ups and downs with DP/DH's on this thread. Me and DH have never had so many arguments than we've had since Toby was born - nearly always sleep deprivation induced, but about ridiculous things sometimes as well. Is he happy about your pregancy? Is he maybe worrying about how you are going to cope, if things aren't too stable in his job? It's a big committment and change you've just done relocating to a different country and he's working with his in-laws. Do you think he's feeling the pressure a bit from that? sorry, not really helping by just asking questions am I, but don't really know what to suggest. But one remember, you are not a stupid lawyer and every mother has moments of mince-brain! I would like to suggest that DH has moments like that too! But they are fewer, as he's not anywhere near as tired as I am at times! As for this perfect house dream working DP/DH's have - that is all it is a dream. My DH has moments of madness when he comes home stressed and tired and the house is a mess, but you can't manage everything in such a short space of time, you are only human. You are also pregnant, needing to inject yourself again, looking after a baby. Take care of yourself. If it makes you feel any better the weather is miserable over here today so I'm hoping you've at least got some sunshine?

IamMummy - sorry to hear that things aren't going well with you either at the moment. It is tough having these baby things and trying to keep your life up as it was previously - it is never going to happen. I really hope that things pick up for you. I'm really worried by this credit crunch as well, but mainly because the news is all doom and gloom and I just dn't really understand how it is going to affect me. I'm really regretting leaving a well paid, stable job at the moment - pretty scary! But I get to keep the house nice and tidy for a stressed DH instead!

Right - better go, having said all that I need to tidy the house as DH has been away and I hate him to come home to a messy house and besides a friend is sitting with the children until he gets home as I have aGovernor's meeting to go to this evening.

back later - big hugs to all.
xxx

hiya

mrs- your DH is being a bit of an arse by the sounds of it - I think Fettle is right though he may well be feeling rather overwhelmed at the mo- and you being PG so quickly. Having babies is a ridiculously stressful time in a relationship- DP and I had it all after I had DD- but since the kids have got bigger I think he has 'grown' up with them- and is now a lot more understanding/patient and generally supportive of me. He doesnt dare moan about the mess or no dinner now!

having a bit of a bore with rubbish kitchen designers- one bloke did me a design that was 40cm out- the kitchen was going into my sitting room- and now the next one has emailed me- but forgotten to attach the designs... doh...

Dex is finally doing proper smackers- had to do a lot of training last night when he was in the bath! And now he wont stop . He has started standing momentarily- when he doesnt realise he has let go of sofa or whatever. Bit sad that my baby is growing up- where has the year gone???????????????

x

Sorry to hear that there are some sad faces around on this thread re: DP / DH's and stress... As you know I've had my fair share too. You are all so right then having babies / kids around at times can be really stressful and if you add in money worries as well then you can end up with some pretty major rows.

DH does sound really out of order MrsMc and I'm really sorry to hear that. Has it been worse since you found out about teh new baby. Perhaps he liked the idea of another but it has all happened quicker than he was prepared for? I'm afraid I'm doing the same as Fettle and asking more questions than helping, but do you think he is feeling the pressure of being the sole income provider at a time when things are slow and he's taking that out on you? Also is it possible as well that he is a little homesick and maybe missing Edinburgh and his old lifestyle and friends? Either way he sounds angry and stressed and I reckon a good relaxed chat about what is at the bottom of it will really help. Even though you are rightly angry about the lack of support he's giving you at the moment, you probably need to swallow that anger a bit to try to understand whats going on with him... Having said all that I totally agree with everything you've said and his behaviour is unacceptable. He can't just bugger off when it suits him and not tell you and he especially can't bad mouth you in front of DS. DH's visit to his shrink has really helped us in this area as I'm always on at DH to behave better in front of the kids, and everything the shrink has said to DH about his anger supports that. As an example she says that his angry reaction to stress is a response that he has learned over a number of years, from his parents / work colleagues etc... And so I play this back to him in that I dont want our boys to learn from his angry behaviour. Does that make sense? And, yes, while the shrink is really helping us to communicate my DH does still have his moronic moments. The other day DS1 was messing about and knocked his juice over. DH was annoyed so tipped the rest of the juice onto DS1 thinking that this was funny . A crying DS1 and a hugely angry wife said otherwise!!!!

Gosh, gone on a major waffle there, but I find it helpful talking about stuff like this on here - sorry to hear that others are having the same / similar issues but its good to vent things here.

Hope things improve about as well Iamamummy - when will DP be better - hope he hasn't hurt himself too badly??? I know the credit crunch is a worry. We are feeling a little vulnerable in relation to my job and that we have 3 mortgages across the house and 2 flats. Hope the worst is coming to an end although I'm sure we'll feel the fall out from this for a good long while.

Right, better get on with work...

Good luck with your kitchen designs honey - sounds great!! I love all that stuff (well, not being messed about, but looking at new designs etc). How is your friend doing with her new little daughter?

If you're looking firsty - hope you are OK and we miss you here...

Thanks for all your support ladies he appeared at 3am last night, pretty drunk but not completely blotto. Of course I was in bed but got broken sleep all night as he was crashing about, had the tv on etc plus it was stressful. This morning he didn?t say a word to me, nor me to him, I just ignored him as didn?t know what else to do. He just ignored DS too and that really made me sad as his Daddy is his hero and he didn?t know why Daddy wouldn?t look at him . When DH went to work I cried my eyes out but kept away from DS so he wouldn?t see. I didn?t expect DH to appear at lunchtime but he did. The first thing he did was say hello to Xavier so I thought I?d better be the bigger one and just act as normal. He then crumbled and wanted a cuddle and asked how B2 (new baby) was. I told him that B2 was worried he/she wasn?t wanted and DH assured me that that was not the case and that he wanted all 3 of us and that he was happy with his life. Maybe he just needed a blow out but how come men get away with that kind of thing? Why do they take so much longer to grow up??

Iammummy ? thanks hon, I know you have had some rough times lately too. I don?t think DH is particularly stressed, much less so than in Scotland I?d say. It?s amazing what men think we can achieve at home in a day isn?t it?

Ohh sorry, better dash as DS is calling will be back later to reply to you Fettle and Honey

Back again

Fettle ? thanks hon, DH says he is happy about B2 and I think he means it but you might be right about him feeling the pressure you are also right that I need to look after myself as no one else will and? no sun here today!

Honey ? thanks for the empathy I hope my DH grows up with the kids!! That?s crap about the kitchen designers ah Dex sounds so cute, time has gone far to fast hasn?t it? It?s all been so precious too. Xavier now crawls like mad and pulls himself up to standing on everything, he?s getting so big!

Hey Chooster thanks for your wisdom too, I think he is definitely homesick sometimes he?s not made many friends here yet. Sadly though my closest friend here has just moved back to Holland . Glad to hear the anger coach is paying off. I can totally see the sense in what she?s said, I grew up in a pretty violent household and grew up thinking it was my fault and it made me insecure, in addition, it made me think that it is ok to have anger outbursts which it is not. I am going to try really hard from now on to never retaliate to DH in front of the little guy. That?s quite odd about the OJ

Well ladies ? I think my Mum has been snooping in my bathroom and has found my syringes even though I thought I had hidden them well she went to the loo in there because the spare loo was busy (Spanish teacher) and I heard her moving my baskets about and later when I went in there things were definitely not as I left them. Just wait, in a few days she?ll tell me that she?s had a ?psychic? moment that I am pregnant. That is what she said whenever I got up to anything as a teenager but actually she had kept a key to my 5 year diary and was reading it

mrs - your mum sounds like a handful, even if she does snoop she should trust you enough to confide in her when the time is right. glad dh came back and cleared the air a bit albeit rather late

chooster - sorry you are feeling the crunch too. dp has 9 properties he rents out plus the one we live in with a hefty mortgage. things have never been so bad and i just feel this is the calm before the storm, plus he is in the building industry and sites are already closing down dp went for accupuncture today but can still barely move he is sleeping downstairs tonight on our tiled floor hoping it will help.

fettle - i am uncertain about work too. my job could by no means completely pay for our expenditure but it would definately help. i was completely ready to hand in my notice until i realised the extent of things and now im not so sure...even though i could not support us fully it certainly would take the pressure off. i just dont know what to do.

sorry i havnt lightened the mood ladies xxx

oh dear! i have missed so much again!! ellis had a tummy bug and was throwing up sun night/ monday morning and i have only just started feeling normal agian after my sleep deprivation.

mrs - glad to hear your dh has stopped being a knob! taking it out on Xavier is really silly. what did he do to deserve that hey? he obviously realised how out of order he was being eventually. hopefully he will think twice before behaving like that again. oh no mrs!!!! i think i am going to be like your mum when i am older!!!! i bet i wont be able to resist snooping around and reading diaries! (bad thing to admit isnt it!)

iamamummy - tell your dp to visit a McTimoney chiropractor. thats what i am and we are FAB!!!

chooster - i know its not at all funny, buti am afraid i couldn't help sniggering at the image of your dh tipping juice all over ds1. sorry!!!

have to say i am kind of with honey on the moaning dhs. mine wouldn't DARE moan that the house was a mess. think hes a bit of a slob anyway so it doesnt really bother him. never thought of being a slob as a good trait before but maybe it does have its advantages.

fettle - sorry to hear you are regretting giving up work. i am sure in a few years time you will look back and think "they have grown up so fast, i am so glad i was at home with them to see it"

little kiki is wearing her new glasses now. she looks really geeky! geeky kiki! obviously she thinks she looks beautiful cos thats what we all keep telling her. and my little baby marcy is one on friday!!!! seems so strange that this time last year i was getting VERY frustrated at being overdue.

can i ask advice please.........................marcy hits the other two and other children. how can i stop her? ellis and kiki were never violent like she is, so i never really had a problem before. Also, she throws things.......................come on ladies..........i need your help!

better go, my house is a pigsty and we have friends coming over after school.

Oh dear, things seem a bit low on this thread at the mo.

Mrs - I think Chooster and Fettle have made some very sensible points re your DH, but obv. that still doesn't excuse his behaviour. Hope the air has cleared now though. Glad you have been to doc and all is sorted with your jabs etc. Let us know when your mum has her "psychic" moment

Iamamummy - sounds like you;ve got a few worries too... hope your DPs back gets better soon. Can't comment on the current financial situation really, but I try to remain optimistic - the way things were with property prices etc was unsustainable... things had to level out eventually.

Greedy - re Marcy's hitting... well, it could just be a new thing she's discovered that gets her plenty of attention; try to ignore it as much as possible and give your attention to the "hittee". Nelly was a terrible biter, and I never really found the solution, she just grew out of it (not before she had earnt the nickname "gnasher nell" from her cousins though ) Isla, so far, prefers to inflict her rage on herself, and whacks her head on the floor [nutter emoticon]

This is a ridiculous time to be awake, but I stupidly fell asleep while putting Nelly to bed and was out like a light for 2 hours - hence am wide awake now! Have had a few broken nights with Isla lately though... and by the sounds of things coming out of the monitor right now (hacking cough, whimpering) I'm in for another eventful night....

bodders- hope you night wasnt too bad. Dex is still a pain at night if it is any consolation! He wakes a couple of times- but now he is in his own room i can leave him moaning for a while- but I do end up going in to settle him- dont feed him though- he is usually ok with a pat and being tucked back in properly. Have you stopped BF yet?

Re my expressing- had to admit defeat on that one. Saw my friend yesterday and despite having more surgery on monday she was looking great. She has hopefully found another breast milk donor which is brilliant - there are amazing women out there .She also was getting some milk from a hospital that didnt need it.

Happy Birthday Marcy for tommorrow! Are you having a party??? I dunno what to do for Dex- or what to get him- . Have you bought Marcy anything?

Dex is quite miserable with his teething- still no teeth!

x bye for now!

Sorry so tired so will post more tomorrow but just wanted to say happy birthday to Marcy for tomorrow/today here!

Happy birthday Marcy-marce!!! hope you have a fanstastic day!!

Back later everyone.
xxx

happy birthday marcy xx

Happy Birthday Marcy, hope you are having a good day!