Husband says I am very large for 21 weeks- worried it will be a big baby!

[Banoffeepie29]

Currently 21 weeks pregnant with my 4th and my husband is constantly saying I look big and how much bigger I am than with the others. He works with 7 other women who are due around the same time, and he says they are all a lot smaller than me!

I'm worried I will have a big baby. I'm not that big, normally weigh 8 stone 2 pounds but now almost weigh 9stone (have I put too much weight on already?). My last baby was 7 pounds 8 and I tore my clitoris and urethra it was very painful, I'm worried I will tear even worse if I have a big baby! Has anyone had a large bump but had an average sized baby?

Is your husband always such a prick?

Is your husband an obstetrician? He is talking out his arse

you are creating a human life and look fantastic.

I had a nasty tear on first delivery. I had ELCS for second and it was a dream!

How big was your husband on his second baby at 21 weeks? When you two can compare then he can comment

You are a lot smaller than I was at 22 weeks! Looks normal to me

also no one knows how much of the bump is fluid or baby…

This photo is me at 19 weeks!
This was with my second baby, and she was 7lb 10oz so not huge but I have a bigger frame. My first was 8lbs 12oz so quite a bit bigger.

I wouldn't take what your husband is saying seriously. You will be told further on if they think baby is measuring big.

I don't think bump size is an accurate indicator of eventual birth-weight.
I barely had any visible baby bump during my pregnancy. Even at full-term it was hard to notice I was pregnant unless someone looked closely. I had expected to have a very obvious bump as I am slim and I must admit I was worried about the lack of bump, even though growth scans showed baby was developing well. Our wonderful baby was born at a perfectly healthy weight so I have no idea where she was hiding the whole time.
Anyway, your husband's remark is at best unhelpful an at worst thoughtless and, unless he is an obstetrician, I wouldn't set much store by it! Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

It's simply because your stomach muscles aren't what they were..
I had the smallest bump with my 9 pound ds.

My smallest baby saw me gain the most weight!
I've had 10 natural births. All good afterwards...if your dh mentions anything about your nether regions mention his penis looks smaller these days.

Realistically, what does he want to do by saying this? For you to magically stop the baby growing? To scare you? To make you give birth early in case it's big?

The baby will be the size the baby is going to be. And unless your midwife raises any concerns I'd be telling him to stfu

I watched Rawbeautykristi on YouTube who had quite a large bump throughout her pregnancy and she had a 6lbs baby I think!

OP like others have said your bump size is irrelevant. That said it sounds like your tearing last time was really painful and distressing. You should be able to get some extra support around your birth and an evaluation of the healing and scar tissue. That in turn could reassure you or help you plan for the best birth. Ask your midwife for more support.

You look fantastic by the way. I think I got a bigger bump with every baby but they didn’t get bigger.

Leave this man.

Any man who works with women and compares his wife to them is just useless imo.

How big was the baby measuring at your scan?

You look completely normal for 21 weeks, smaller than I was! I don't think bump size is any indicator of baby size, what is your husband trying to gain by saying you look big?

Is this a stealth boast ? You look great and the bump is fine

Nothing ti add OP as hopefully you have been reassured and can tell your DH to zip it. But I’m just in awe of you @Gardenisablooming! Two was enough for me, not just the births but can’t imagine parenting ten children!

@oustedbymymate No he's not. I have thought about asking for a c section but I'm not sure I have a good enough reason. I'm also worried my milk won't come in properly.

How long has your DH been a qualified midwife?

I think he said 10 ounces which he said was normal.

Surely with this being your 4th baby you know bump and specifically bumps at 21 weeks aren’t really an indicator of baby size?
Worrying about the baby being big to the point you’re questioning a c section is crazy, you have so much further to do before they can make a guess about whether the baby will be born bigger.

@Gardenisablooming 10! wow you're a champion! That's what I keep telling him that it's my fourth pregnancy and my stomach muscles are already weak.

Important also to remember that big baby does not necessarily mean difficult birth. My first was 9’9 and my second was 10’6. Both easy, very minor tears, no painkillers, home the same day. The second one was 3 hours start to finish!

Also-your husband is being a dick.

It must be. Impossible that he just so happens to work with 7 women who are all 20 weeks pregnant.

I wasn't questioning a c section because of the size, I was responding to another poster who had an c section after a nasty tear. That's the only reason I've ever considered it because I still have issues down there. I know big bumps don't always mean a big baby but this is the first tike my husband has said it, and if I'm bigger than 6 other women it shows that I'm on the larger side.

Its actually true! He works in a female dominated industry and there has been a baby boom! It's crazy bit it's 100% true. They are worried about all the staff they are going to lose. I'm not boasting, why would I be boasting about being called big?

But who cares? Why does it matter if your bump is bigger than 100 women’s or none?

If you’re on your 4th baby surely you’re expecting an earlier bump?