Husband says I am very large for 21 weeks- worried it will be a big baby!

[Banoffeepie29]

Currently 21 weeks pregnant with my 4th and my husband is constantly saying I look big and how much bigger I am than with the others. He works with 7 other women who are due around the same time, and he says they are all a lot smaller than me!

I'm worried I will have a big baby. I'm not that big, normally weigh 8 stone 2 pounds but now almost weigh 9stone (have I put too much weight on already?). My last baby was 7 pounds 8 and I tore my clitoris and urethra it was very painful, I'm worried I will tear even worse if I have a big baby! Has anyone had a large bump but had an average sized baby?

Nah but because he is being a dick!

I get the ick from men who behave like that in the office 🤢🤢, dont compare your wife to others!

My DD was enormous. Everyone thought she was having twins - she's very slight and she was 90% bump.

Ended up having to be induced three weeks early because the baby wasn't growing, and he was born weighing just over five pounds.

The size of the bump doesn't mean anything.

Everyone is different and your husband isn't a midwife

A lot of people are saying he's wrong, but he's better placed to know, as a matter of fact, if you are genuinely bigger than in earlier pregnancies. He shouldn't have said it unless you asked, or if he is truly concerned and wants you to discuss this with a midwife. In either case, he does have the right to say it, despite other comments. Obviously not to be critical!
As for the other pregnant women he knows, we often carry smaller in our first pregnancies-are they on their fourth?
The answer here is to get specific advice on your questions from your own midwife. The size of your bump is not necessarily a guarantee of a bigger baby/harder delivery.

And you’d rip your children’s lives out from under them, divide your assets and savings and move house and all the horror of divorce with 4 children including the unborn because… you think he was a bit of a dick one time?

Fgs calm down. Drama queen.

Your bump just isn’t particularly big at all. Your husband seeing pregnant women and then commenting on your body doesn’t mean he knows anything, he’s just a bit of a muppet with no knowledge on how to talk to pregnant women. You’ve got a pretty small bump but do look pregnant, which seems standard for around 20-22 weeks to me.

Girl, I wish I was that teeny when I was 21 weeks. I looked like I shoved a football underneath my top. Now I look like I stuffed a watermelon under my dress. Apparently there's very little correlation between the size of your bump and the size of the baby. Have you had your anomaly scan yet?

Honestly bump size has no correlation to baby size in my experience (and a fair few of my friends experiences). I was huge by 24 weeks with my last baby (5th pregnancy although only 2nd living child) and she was tiny! I was probably the size I was full term with my first at 24 weeks with my last. They predicted she would be massive and scans put her really big. To the point if I hadn't have gone into labour when I did they would have taken me in for a c section. She popped out like 7lbs1oz at 39 weeks exactly. The more pregnancies you have the easier it is for your muscles to stretch for pregnancy. It doesn't mean you keep growing, things just shift around in the space they have. I found I would have a growth spurt the side at that size for a while before another spurt again weeks later.

Also baby head size and overall size doesn't mean you will tear. I have small babies and tore badly with my first. I know people who have had much larger babies and no issues at all.

Tell him to fuck off

i was your size at 12 weeks and my baby was average weight

if ypu are worried, ask your midwife

Not because he was a bit of a dick one time to be fair.

My H once did something similar, pushed me down on the kitchen floor and shoved his bits and bobs right in my face so I couldn't see anything or hardly breathe and wouldn't take no for an answer. He thought it was funny but it was extremely annoying and disrespectful at the time.

A friend of mine was a very small woman petite and slim, her first baby was 13 pounds she was fine, she had two more children also very big. Don't worry and ask your medical team if you are.

Not really related to your OP but tearing happens for so many more reasons than the size of baby.
I tore with my 7lb baby because she came out facing the wrong way. I had a horrible labour experience and I was really tense so my body couldn't let go properly.
Tearing can happen because baby has their arm in the wrong place, or their presentation just isn't quite where it should be. It can happen from pushing harder than you need to (lots of women listen to being told to push over listening to their body) it can happen from having an epidural and not being able to feel when to stop pushing. It can happen from not being in the best position and your tailbone not having space to move out the way.
I almost had a C-section with my second due to tearing with my first, I fortunately didn't but it was purely luck I feel. I would tell other mums to consider it if they feel it will give them a positive birth experience 100%.
Personal opinion here as well, having a calm and happy (as can be) birth is more likely to have a positive impact on milk coming in.

As a side note I was bigger than you at 21 weeks and both my children were far from big. You also have a placenta the same size as baby in there don't forget, is it anterior or posterior? That may be impacting your bump size.

Thanks all. You have honestly made me feel less anxious! I will discuss this with my midwife in 8 weeks, hopefully when she measures me I will know if I am measuring too big or not.

Good plan, however, if you're still feeling anxious, see your GP .
Good luck 🤞

Yes!!
I was ENORMOUS, put on 4 stone with my first and he was 5lbs 15oz, despite the midwife saying my fundal measurement was ‘a good 8lb-er!’
don’t let them scare you, and if you are genuinely worried after such a bad tear last time you can opt for a c section nowadays

Wow that's incredible! Thank you x

Omg ofcourse ur not big. I would say it’s quite an average to on the smaller/neat side size for 21 wks. Your body has done it before so it shows a lot sooner than a first baby. You really aren’t big at all. I had a friend that was so big at this stage folk were asking when she was due thinking soon. She used to lie if it were a stranger and say a few wks, just to stop the comments.

If u are big it can just be extra fluid. Tell him to stop with the comments.

I also wouldn't place too much weight on the fundal height measurement tbh. Mine were fairly inaccurate and even their weight estimates after taking measurements during scans were quite far out too! They kept telling me that my 3rd and 4th babies would be very big. My 3rd was 6lb 13oz and 4th was 7lb 2oz. Both totally dinky and in tiny baby clothes at first!

I didn't look big, neither do you btw, but I can tell you that with my fourth I showed earlier, got bigger than the other pregnancies and felt much, much more pregnant too!