Husband says I am very large for 21 weeks- worried it will be a big baby!

[Banoffeepie29]

Currently 21 weeks pregnant with my 4th and my husband is constantly saying I look big and how much bigger I am than with the others. He works with 7 other women who are due around the same time, and he says they are all a lot smaller than me!

I'm worried I will have a big baby. I'm not that big, normally weigh 8 stone 2 pounds but now almost weigh 9stone (have I put too much weight on already?). My last baby was 7 pounds 8 and I tore my clitoris and urethra it was very painful, I'm worried I will tear even worse if I have a big baby! Has anyone had a large bump but had an average sized baby?

You said 7 other women.
Now it's 6?
Ignore him.

It matters to me because I'm worried about having a large baby and tearing badly.

It’s your fourth baby and you look that neat?! Wow, ignore him. He’s talking out of his arse.

are these fourth babies for the other women?

Sorry I meant 6. I said 7 because there will be 7 people off work (including my husband for paternity leave) and I.got confused forgetting I was the 7th!

A baby boom, perhaps, but 7 who are all 20 weeks?

But again, surely by your 4th baby you are aware your bump size at 20 weeks has no bearing on the baby’s size and tearing isn’t only to do with the baby’s size either?

Does he often say stupid things to worry and upset you?

Yes! And he's not lying, I've heard it from other people in the building that this particular department is going to be short staffed next year.

The husband would probably say "yes" 🙄

Goodness. That must be a record.

It could just be amniotic fluid. My second, I was massive and just so much fluid. Doctor was amazed during my scans.

I thought the risk of tearing increased the larger the baby was? Everybody says that. I didn't tear with my 5 pound 11 baby but tore badly with my 7 pound 8 baby..

I don't think anyone but a midwife or doctor can soothe your worries or help you find a solution about the risk of tearing (which must depend on not only baby size but your size, how many previous babies, scar tissue, position of the baby...)

But personally I'd tell your husband to shut the fuck up about the size of your bump.

@Nursemumma92 You look great in that pic, I love your dress.

1st post nails it!

I had a gigantic bump with my second and it was nearly all fluid! They didn't realise until the birth and my waters broke and the midwives had to change clothes there was so, so much fluid.

All that is to say, big bump doesn't necessarily equal big baby...

You've literally just said that you know that bump size doesn't necessarily indicate baby size at birth.
I suggest that you speak to your DH about his foolish remarks.
Then please speak to your midwife because it sounds as if you have anxiety about birthing problems again, which is understandable, bearing in mind your bad experience last time.

As far as I'm aware the risk of tearing is less the more babies you have as the skin/cervix has already been stretched in birth before

You aren’t big at all!! Perfect size!
Why is your husband calling you big and what the hell is that man doing comparing you to the size of women he works with?! I would throw my husband in the bin if he made a comment like that.

Well, that wasn’t true for me!

God there is so much BS on MN today.

I had little to no bump and wore normal clothes throughout, baby was over 9lb. Couldn’t believe it.

If you have had a nasty tear, speak to your midwife as you may be able to have a guided head birth or a c section depending on what happened and your level of risk etc.

I’ve had 2 emergency C sections and BF both babies with absolutely no problem. I believe you can request a C section for any reason (including no reason at all.)

I carried bigger with my second and showed much faster than my first pregnancy but both my babies were under 8Ibs.

Best of luck ✨

6 other women, exactly 21 weeks, but all smaller 🙄
My arse.

As everyone says OP speak to your midwife as she is best placed to reassure you. My sister had an advised elective c section with her second after tearing with her first. DH ex wife was advised not to have more than two c sections but she has now had four along with two natural births (not all are DH) and recovered well every time. Your DH is a clueless idiot.