Is it acceptable to ask baby shower guests to pay for meals?

[Chocrabbit]

hi! I am looking to host my baby shower at a local venue. I would cover the room charge which is £150 and potentially one drink per person (14 guests) but the buffet option is 40pp which is too much on top! Could I just ask people to order from the normal menu and pay for what they eat? I’ve only been to baby showers previously that are at someone’s house, so all food has been included

I once went to a baby shower at a posh restaurant. It was fun but I found it incredibly annoying that I was obliged to pay £££ for a meal with a bunch of women I barely know (the pregnant woman was a good friend, her friends are just acquaintances). Much better to organise it at home.

Suprised at these responses.....i've had 3 baby showers and all afternoon teas where it was a set amount per head and everyone paid for their own- it was fine, no issues.I've also been to baby showers/hen parties where everyone pays for their own food and drink and i would expect to do so!

Crikey, it’s not a wedding! Do some sandwiches and cupcakes at home and play some games. Why do people insist on making these events ever more complex and expensive?

Why are you planning your own baby shower? That's a whole other step up from the cringefest of someone else organising it.

1. why do you need a separate room for £150?
2. why is the buffet so expensive?
3. why are you organizing this yourself?

Seriously just don't have one. They are extremely tedious affairs as a guest.

It’s not acceptable to have a baby shower let alone asking people to pay to attend one.

Absolutely disgusting to expect people to cover there own food . You want a baby shower your only having it for the gifts then u expect them to pay for the food ontop, most grabbiest behaviour ive seen . You obviously cant afford to have a baby shower so either do it at home or don't bother at all

So you want to “invite” people, charge them for the priveledge and then expect a gift???

what the actual!!!!!

if you can’t afford it don’t host it

This!
what buffet are you getting for £40 a head?

How wealthy are your family and friends? Would you have happily spent that much on food for a baby shower on top of a gift?
Why is the room so expensive?
Why don’t you host it at home?

You can't invite guests and then expect them to pay for their own food!

Get some sausage rolls and have it at home.

Or better, don't have a baby shower at all.

£40 for food present and drinks you’re looking at the best part of £100!!! Would you be happy with that ? OP is a Bloody cheeky fecker

No no no. Do something you can afford. A picnic or tea in the garden.

You are inviting people to give you gifts, why can't they do that at your house, at least with some food and drink provided? To invite people to give you gifts and then make them pay for food as well is so cheeky!

That’s a bit harsh. OP asked if it was okay or not, so clearly she wasn’t sure either. The vast majority of answers have told her it probably isn’t okay, if she takes that on board then all is good.

No.

Someone else throws you a shower. Throwing your own shower is grabby, needy and cringe.

Sorry OP, I don’t understand the Baby Shower phenomenon. It feels a massive self indulgent vanity event. Surely funds at this time in your life are in demand so from my perspective I would prioritise spending on your home and the baby or your own wellbeing post baby arrival.

Go to a restaurant or whatever and call it a pre-baby get together.

You can't ask to be showered in gifts and make guests pay to eat.

I just can’t understand baby showers, they are tacky in the extreme. Nobody with any class would dream of having one.

No, that would be tacky, especially if you’re expecting them to buy a gift. Why have you chosen somewhere so expensive when you can’t afford it?

Is it acceptable to invite people to join you for a celebration meal / event
of any sort
and then ask them to pay

Hi, join us for our Ruby Wedding, only £40 per head

sod right off

If you cannot afford the event, do not have it

No absolutely not! On top of a pressie. Are you mad!

You've got a baby on the way, don't waste your money on stuff like this, especially if you can't really afford it. Have some friends round to your house, if you must. Baby showers are a relatively new thing here and aren't compulsory or even expected.

YABU

Why not not pay for the first drink and have a buffet type meal instead.

A few sausage rolls, sandwiches and cakes will cost a lot less than a drink each.

Can you get a cheaper venue?
Having it in someone’s home or is there anywhere outside that has park benches close together?