Partner sent me an eviction email

[Rhiannon1997]

My partner sent me an eviction email today at 07:30 I am 25 weeks pregnant living at his home. I straight away contact my local council on a Sunday morning for immediate help within an hour he sent round one of his family members to kick me out there and then. (He was out all night on a bender with his friends hasn't even come home) I've managed to booked myself a hotel for the night with the money I have left but completely broken and upset that my perfect happy family has been broken apart and now having to manage pregnancy on my own and no where to live. I don't have any family or friends around me and just feel completely abandoned. He does this all the time goes missing for days because he's gone on the sesh. I know I should want to walk away but the thought of doing pregnancy on my own kills.

May I add I found out when I was 4 weeks pregnant and asked him countless times if he wanted to go through with it as I would of never kept the baby as mean as that sounds knowing the dad didn't want nothing to do with it. I was assured multiple times this is what he wanted and we did have a very happy relationship until I hit 24 weeks (the cut of point) he attended all appointments spoke about it happily to his friends etc and seemed proud. I've only been having all these issues the last few weeks when he started going out more and bringing parties back to the house - I'm not a Debbie downer I'm a social person but getting further along in the pregnancy I said you need to stop the parties and be more sober because you never know if I need to go to hospital etc etc this is when it started to kick off.

Neither of you sound fit to be parents. All the drinking and partying (aka drug taking), with a guy you barely knew, get pregnant and think it’s a good idea to have a baby? If you would have aborted if he said so then why didn’t you abort for your own good? No one would choose that man as a partner for a child. Your good relationship was 4 months old and based on drinking and partying.

Poor kid. I hope you get your life in order and make better decisions going forward. Starting with leaving this guy and never going back.

because from day one we was happy. (I was happy) he was always there attended everything with me did private scans came to every single appointment but one night it changed he went back to his old ways going out all the time partying with the wrong crowd I knew about him before getting with him but he changed and became the relationship type on paper did everything together but it's like something has hit him since reaching 25 weeks pregnant he won't be able to do that much longer and has caused all these arguments. I've obviously argued multiple times with him disagreeing saying it's wrong going on day benders all night and day and he doesn't like it. I'm not controlling at all I think he should have a social life and enjoy times with friends but going out for 3 days straight without contacting is wrong and he thinks I'm isolating him from it.

I'm 28 so don't come on my thread and judge me. Not once did I say I DID DRUGS never in my life. Yes I enjoyed going out partying but doesn't everyone with no other responsibilities. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I stopped going out and was over the moon. So to say I ain't fit to be a parent when all I've done is do the right thing is harsh. I can't change how he is which is why I'm asking for moral support.

Also adding it was never a money thing what so ever. He owns his own business earns way too much to be eligible for benefits etc. story cut short he doesn't want to give up his party life that's why I'm in this situation.

Getting pregnant wasn't on the cards but I really don't need your harsh judgment. Most of women don't plan a pregnancy but I made massive life changes to be good a parent.
if you read my thread correctly I didn't leave my job because I wanted to I had to due to high risk pregnancy issues so got myself a job more suited but unfortunately only started that job at 16 weeks pregnant so will not be entitled to maternity pay/leave.
as for leaving my secure home yes I did because I found out I was pregnant and he owned a 4 bedroom home where we could have a nursery and raise a child not a 1 bedroom council flat. So yes moving in with him and create the dream nursery felt right.

Moving in with a man you barely know, losing your entire family for him… no, that wasn’t a better choice just to have a nice nursery. And leaving your job for those reasons? No. We have maternity protections in this country. You could have been put on light duties etc, anything at all to protect your job and right to may pay. They wouldn’t have been allowed to fire you.

Number 1 lesson for women is protect yourself. Now you also have to protect your kid.

You can keep arguing but the facts are quite simple - you have made repeated bad choices. Make better ones.

And learn your fights fgs; you are legally entitled to mat leave, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been there. And you will be able to claim maternity allowance if you don’t qualify for statuatory maternity pay. Look it up.

Your in this situation because you made a choice about who you would have a child with. Yoh keep saying he us to blame but actually your resonpisbile for yourself. You say that he's not ready to put on the party lifestyle, but he's able to buy himself a home.Have a business and do all the other things that actually, if he wanted to would mean, he could support a child.You don't have any of these things.In place for yourself, that's the problem.It's not what he's got or what he's doing.It's what you don't have.And what you're not doing, that's what you need to look at.I think that's what everyone's trying to tell you.

To be care, you have no job. You have no stable income, you have no home of your own. You have no family relationships. And you are currently pregnant. You are past the point of getting an abortion. And you are trying to find a place that you can live. You need to focus only on yourself. And your baby, because the situation that you are in is completely your responsibility. You need to forget about this guy.

I'm sorry OP tgat this is happening, also sorry there are a little of people here victim blaming and being horribly judgemental. Tomorrow morning get yourself straight to your local council and contact universal credit. Even pop into Citizens advice. When baby is born apply to CSA to ensure he's contributing too as he sounds as if he has money to fritter so he can definitely support his child.
Stay strong, hopefully they will find you somewhere tomorrow even if it is temporary accommodation, then you will get housed from there.
Good luck for tomorrow , get your ducks in a row.

Gosh, you must really have felt like you had landed on your feet, for that short time you were together.

You don't know what job I did before hand and how long I worked there. Yes Im fully aware what I claim for mat leave that isn't the reason for my post.
I lost my family way before he was in my life through a very toxic upbringing so cutting them off was the best for me (a year of mental health advice) just remember you don't know half the shit that's gone on only what I decided to post. This post was aimed to encourage me not to go back not to degrade and make me feel like shit.

I'm sorry commenters are being harsh at your lowest point. It's cruel and completely unhelpful.

BTW, when I said to the other commenter that you'd hadn't been with him long, that wasn't meant to criticize you but highlight that your family didn't wait around long, and that is sad. Many family members wait/hope for much longer for a relative to leave an abusive partner.

No I loved this person I knew him way before we got together. And was sucked into a fairytale. Wasn't a one meet and got together situation we knew each other way before.

You may be entitled to maternity allowance then. You can claim it online

I thought the whole point of this group was for support and upbringing not to belittle someone. I fell out with my family way before we got together but us getting together was just the icing

What happened to women supporting women and being positive? You are clearly looking for an argument because you are bored and want to bring someone down that is already feeling low.
i have done nothing wrong but seek positive advice and you are being cruel a negative must seriously be miserable to want to bring other people down even more.

Don't start with the negativity. This baby is utterly loved by me and I'll continue to do that. So keep your negative thoughts to yourself.

How on earth have I made a terrible choice?? It's not like I planned any of this? I believed a guy who promised he would always be there.

How on earth did you ever manage to get your own social housing in the first place - down here they are as rare as hen's teeth ! esp for a single person.

Well hurrah for you.

Sounds like you've led a pretty sheltered existence.

If you don't know how the other half lives, perhaps this is your opportunity to learn some stuff rather than pontificate, eh 🙄