Partner sent me an eviction email

[Rhiannon1997]

My partner sent me an eviction email today at 07:30 I am 25 weeks pregnant living at his home. I straight away contact my local council on a Sunday morning for immediate help within an hour he sent round one of his family members to kick me out there and then. (He was out all night on a bender with his friends hasn't even come home) I've managed to booked myself a hotel for the night with the money I have left but completely broken and upset that my perfect happy family has been broken apart and now having to manage pregnancy on my own and no where to live. I don't have any family or friends around me and just feel completely abandoned. He does this all the time goes missing for days because he's gone on the sesh. I know I should want to walk away but the thought of doing pregnancy on my own kills.

If that's what you took from my post, so be it. I'm not blaming OP for the abuse she has suffered but hopefully, she can see the signs and protect herself in future.

And separate from the topic of abuse, giving up your own housing and job for a new relationship is not in any woman's best interest.

I hope OPs family can see past everything and support her and their grandchild.

I would advise you

• Not to put his surname on your baby's birth certificate
• Not to add his name to the birth certificate
• Present to your local council tomorrow in person as homeless
• Speak to your family. It's not always the outcome we think.

Wishing you all the best @Rhiannon1997

Do your family know that you’re pregnant? If they don’t, they may be more forgiving if you explain exactly what is going on.

All of this.

Several of my friends and family have made stupid decisions about men, including me. Always welcomed back with open arms when we came to ours senses. It’s often just embarrassment that stops us asking.

This. Do these things and get emotional support - counselling, support groups, health visitor, NHS, everything - get all the help you can.
He's a deadbeat, do everything you can to separate yourself from this hopeless excuse for a man, and focus 100% on building a happy and healthy life for you and the baby. You can do it gal, might not feel like it right now but some day you might look back on this as a turning point in your life where you freed yourself from a deadbeat man and started a brand new life xx

No, the police cannot and do not get involved in illegal evictions and it is a civil issue, not a criminal one. Do NOT call 999 for that, but maybe for the domestic abuse you're suffering.

Terrible advice that reeks of ChatGPT to be honest.

when he sobers up he's going to ask you to get back with him isn't he?

Make this the time you don't heed his pathetic lies and for your own sake and the sake of your baby please heed the advice given by pps regarding help and support from the council and NHS

make the break from him!

good luck

This is the harsh honest truth. Do this I think.

Call 911? Look if you can't give advice without ChatGPT or some other bollocks then best not to say anything at all.

OP, you’ve been very stupid. You gave up your family and security of a council house for this repeat liar and alcoholic. Your life before his recent bender was not perfect, it was a temporary blip of peace. You can make good decisions going forward. None of them will involve this man. Are you strong enough to make them?

I copied and pastied it from Google, it is all AI. I'm not really sure what else to suggest, though I think the police could do something given that sending a family memeber round to evict her an hour after giving her notice is very much physical intimidation, which is classed as abuse.

I googled it for her since she seems to not be able to do so. Why so bitchy? Lay off the caffeine darling

It seems like you gave up on real life to chase a fairy tale. The hard truth is that you made a whole series of foolish decisions and now its time to for you to face real life again.

Ultimately you need to think about the sort of life you want for you and your child and you have to build that for yourself. No more wishing on a star, no more hoping some man is going to whisk you away and make it all better. The good news is that you can do this. Abandoned women no longer have to die of shame or destitution, there's help and work out there and you can make a good life for yourself.

He's sent you (a pregnant woman) an email evicting you which means that:
a) you go right straight up to first band on council housing, you're considered an "emergency"
b) You have evidence of eviction -please do not delete his eviction emails and messages telling you to get out asap-

Call the council or fill in an online emergency form asap.

Oh I see. Google AI. Same thing.

You don't know if the OP is in a position to Google anything and I'd rather be 'bitchy' (such a lazy insult btw) than presumptuous and condescending. Darling.

Unfortunately when sucked into a fairytale and the man is most of the time decent and was for the first 4 months of our relationship you will believe anything. He gave me everything and supported me through everything. He until now was there at every appointment it's only been the last 2 weeks things have gotten worse and worse. I met him and we went out partying together etc etc before I fell pregnant but when I found out I was pregnant I put a stop to it but he couldn't let go. This is why I'm in this situation now. Yes I admit I believed him every time he messed up but doesn't everyone think the person they love is going to change. Moral of the story he made me very very happy and I would believe anything and everything. But now it's getting closer and more hospital appointments things have fallen through.

OP it’s ok to have made some errors in judgement. It’s not ok to do it again. Your child needs you to pave a new way forward. You absolutely cannot go back to this because next time, it’s going to feel near impossible to escape with a baby.

Keep moving forward. I can’t stress how much this man won’t change, he’s shown you his colours. It’s pretty sick. That’s him.

i also cannot advise to stay away enough. I had a very premature baby, now disabled, likely caused by the hell I was going though. Don’t not allow this stress into your life.

He was completely perfect up until two weeks ago but you also permanently fell out with every member of your family over him, he refused to stop partying when you were pregnant and he's for a while kept disappearing for several days at a time?

You need to work on yourself here.

Yes, leave him. But work out why you make such bad decisions?

im fully capable of google shit myself which I already have done. But considering it's a Sunday and emergency housing can't do much until tomorrow I just wanted so honest truths and support not people chucking judgment at me. I've been through enough with the judgement without strangers doing the same. I wanted some moral support to stop my hesitation in going back and make me feel like there is a light at the end not he made to feel like I'm in wrong for trusting a man who gave me false hope.

It was an accurate description, because insulting someone trying to do anything to help and telling them not to comment is both very entitled and very bitchy.

You're acting as if if she did phone the police the world would implode. I think the police would be able to help her a lot better than random women on mumsnet, but that's just my opinion. I also don't know how anyone would ever not be able to use Google in such a situation, yet capable of creating an entire thread. It would be the first place I would go.

Some honest truth from me @Rhiannon1997 please, please stick to your leaving him and stay away. This is not a happy family life and never will be. Find all the support you can and bring up your baby without this guy. Best wishes and good luck.

OP this relationship is not worth fighting for. That way misery lies. Go in the opposite direction, please.

This is not your fault. He love bombed you, and isolated you from your family and your own home. He then got you pregnant quickly to trap you.

You've lost everything because of him. But fortunately, you can build your life back, it'll take a little time, but you'll get there. And you'll have your beautiful wee baby who will become the love of your life.

You can do this!

Kindly, your perfect happy family was just a dream, which has just become a nightmare. There is plenty of good advice here (and some nonsense) Your priority now is helping yourself and your baby. Present yourself at the housing department first thing, and while you are waiting for them to decide how they are able to help you, talk to your midwife, tell her what has happened, and then talk to Women's Aid, who may form part of the support for you going forward, especially if he comes sniffing back. Many of us have made mistakes, and come back from what feels like disasters at the time, stronger. Wishing you well for the future for you and your baby.

Have you thought about going in refuge. They might house you away from this man