Pregnancy after loss

[ChasingRainbow5]

Hi, I'm 4+4 after a loss at 6+5 in April. I don't want to join the 'due in January' thread yet as I joined the December one then had to bow out, but thought it might be nice to have a thread where anyone in a similar position could chat/vent? I can't see any recent similar threads, apols if I have missed.

I'm feeling a lot more nauseous than last time which I have read can be a positive sign, but obviously doesn't guarantee anything. Just trying to cling to any hope I can!

Ahhh I totally get that @sapphirerubydiamond - mainly because we are in the opposite but I suppose similar boat. We were the first to try and now the last couple standing- they’ve all beaten us to it with fair ease, so it’s difficult to find someone to talk to/ lean on really.

Feeling pretty bloody glum here tbh. Had a MVA on Thursday (was supposed to be Weds but got pushed back) and it went well apparently. Went for that as previous expectant management went on forever and didn’t help my mental health. The recovery has been so so much easier than last year’s ectopic but the fact I’m still sore and bleeding is causing worry that there’s a problem. Anyway, excuse my rambling. Been told to wait until my next period to start trying again but so worried about my age and how long this one took to conceive. Bleh.

It’s such a tough position to be in. I’m 12 days post my ERPC now and still slightly sore and spotting- it only really started to ease off in terms of soreness/bleeding around day 10 so hopefully it’ll not be too much longer for you 🤞🏻 Is the waiting just for dating purposes? We were told to do that after my first loss but we just cracked on (rightly or wrongly 😅). I get it though, we’ve been told we shouldn’t TTC for 6 months if it’s a confirmed molar which really stresses me out as I worry time isn’t on our side and I’m half tempted to just disregard that advice which to any rational person probably sounds insane but I’m so worried I’ll run out of time 😞 how old are you if you don’t mind me asking? I’m 34 next month x

I completely get that @feelingalittlehorse

Please don’t take this as a gloat, I’m hoping you’ll take some positivity from it that good news is possible. It took us 8 months to conceive first time around (which I appreciate isn’t long, but felt a lifetime when all my friends conceived straight away). We didn’t wait to try again but felt like we were being realistic with our expectations that it wouldn’t happen straight away based on the first pregnancy. I did fall pregnant again before my first period. My EPU tell you to take a pregnancy test 3 weeks after surgery, if you’re testing positive they will do blood tests a week apart to see if your HCG levels are dropping. When it became apparent mine were rising they did an early scan to confirm it was a new pregnancy, and then another at 6 weeks to prescribe progesterone.

It was a shock to us being pregnant again so soon, and emotionally it’s been A LOT to process. I don’t think any amount of time would have made the next pregnancy easier, but it has been a challenge grieving/being nervous/trying to be excited all in one go. I’m 20 weeks now, and I still most days think “I should be 30 weeks now” but I couldn’t be more grateful to be pregnant again

Only you & your partner will know what’s right for you timing wise x

@sapphirerubydiamond I’m 41 and had my son at 39, it’s easier said than done but try not to panic about age xx

And I’m really pleased you’re still on the thread 😊 we’re all rooting for you x

I’m glad your recovery has been better than expected but totally get the worry and frustration about being told to wait. It’s so hard feeling like you can’t control or influence what happens. Big hugs xx

Yes, feeling very lucky to be feeling baby so early as despite all the worry I at least can tell they're moving around in there!

Definitely stick around @sapphirerubydiamond ! It could have been any of us in your position, none of our stories are finished yet and neither is yours!

Pleased to hear your MVA went well @feelingalittlehorse. I'm 36 now, was feeling like I was running out of time too. I use the Premom app btw which i felt helped me to conceive if you aren't already on anything like that, the community pages can cause some anxiety but the rest of it qas useful.

Ok, thank you for sharing your experience @sapphirerubydiamond . I think my anxiety means I may be expecting a little too much too soon. I felt quite comfortable and had minimal bleeding the first 24 hours, so feel a bit like it’s gone downhill. This is making me feel a lot better and that it’s probably normal.

Yes, the wait was due to dating. I suppose that’s also due to me needing early placement scans after losing the tube. I know it’s not the same for everyone but I found not being pregnant in between pregnancies very difficult.
I’m 36 so friends have either finished with the family thing, or tbf we do have a resolutely childfree by choice group of friends too. I think that’s why I’m feeling so much pressure.

Thanks to everyone on this thread for being so supportive. I can’t tell you how much i appreciate it xxx

Hi all,
im not very good at tagging more than one person in a post but im really sorry to hear some of you are having such a tough time. I hope you get answers soon!
my scan is tomorrow morning at 8 and I am so so anxious about it. Today is going really slowly!

Good Luck for your scan! Keeping everything crossed for you x

Good luck for your scan tomorrow @Namechangedforthis60 ! Let us know how you get on x

Good luck @Namechangedforthis60 ! Will have everything crossed for you xxx

Thanks everyone. Trying not to let my brain run away with me too much but it’s hard! Should be 13+2 so if it’s all ok hopefully it will be a big difference from what I could see at 7 weeks which is when my last scan was!

Good luck @Namechangedforthis60

I've taken my mum to the hospital today for some horrible laser eye treatment, she's feeling really sorry for herself and I'm very tempted to tell her to cheer her up. I just don't know if I've got the confidence yet.

Hope your scan went ok this morning, @Namechangedforthis60?

@Swissmeringue that would be a lovely way to cheer her up but I’d be nervous about it too!

@Swissmeringue i had told a few people, the way i decided who to tell was whether id be ok with them knowing if I didn’t have a good outcome or if I would like support from them in that instance.

I had my scan this morning, everything looked good and the sonographer was lovely when I explained I was nervous - first thing she said was “there’s a baby with a heartbeat”.
couldn’t get the nuchal measurements for the combined screening so deciding whether to privately fund the nipt now. I am 13+5 so a few days further on than I thought. I forgot to ask if the SCH was still visible but I guess she would have mentioned it if it was a concern?

Glad your scan went well today! That's great that the sonographer was lovely with you too. I toyed with the NIPT test as I think it's technically better than the normal NHS screening test.

When is your next scan? 20 weeks?

That’s great news 😊 Will they not see you again to try for the nuchal measurement?

Thank you both!
no apparently they’ll only try once to get the measurements which I thought was a bit silly. I met with the genetic screening midwife afterwards and she was really reassuring that obviously they cannot say definitively that the baby does not have any abnormalities but that Edward’s and pataus would usually have soft markers visible at this point and definitely at 20 weeks so I am a bit torn what to do. The nipt is quite expensive!
next scan is at 20 weeks so a little while off but feeling reassured currently - not sure how long the post scan “glow” will last haha!

I agree that it’s silly! Is it around £400 for private NIPT? I’d feel torn too, I’m older so more worried about it this time. Have you had your blood screening results? (I can’t remember if that’s taken at booking or scan?)

The cheapest I’ve found near me is £385 which is doable but also not an insignificant amount of money! I’m 36 so I’m not sure if that’s an increased risk!
I had bloods done at booking and they would have taken more today but they didn’t as they couldn’t get the measurements. Not sure if I will get a result for the blood probability as they didn’t complete the screening. Haven’t had any blood results come through on the app yet!

I think over 40 is increased risk, but I could be wrong. That is really annoying they just don’t complete the screening, it’s basically forcing you to pay?!

I'd assume that they aren't going to do the screening if they didn't take bloods today as it's usually those bloods plus the measurement that they use.

I'm 36 but still got a low chance result from the screening so I don't think age on it's own has that much impact. I was expecting a higher result this time because of my age but it hasn't made a difference.

I'm really surprised they won't try again!

I'm getting NIPT but I did just turn 40 in March so I'm in a riskier age group. At 36 when I had a baby I didn't get it.

I was surprised too, I asked about it and they just said they’d offer me the quad test now instead which I don’t particularly want if I’m honest!
I’m probably leaning towards not having a nipt but I think I’ll do some more research before making a full decision.