Pregnancy after loss

[ChasingRainbow5]

Hi, I'm 4+4 after a loss at 6+5 in April. I don't want to join the 'due in January' thread yet as I joined the December one then had to bow out, but thought it might be nice to have a thread where anyone in a similar position could chat/vent? I can't see any recent similar threads, apols if I have missed.

I'm feeling a lot more nauseous than last time which I have read can be a positive sign, but obviously doesn't guarantee anything. Just trying to cling to any hope I can!

Enormous congratulations @ThatMintMember and @Swissmeringue !!! So glad your scans have gone well- they are such a worrying time ♥️♥️

Rant away @Namechangedforthis60 ! All know how you feel so sending much support your way xxxx

Congratulations! I'm so glad yours went well too. X

How is everyone?
Less than a week until my scan now. Simultaneously dreading it and wanting it to go quickly so I will at least have answers. I don’t want to be a big downer about it but it’s so hard to be positive and I’m finding the relentless positivity from the people who do know I’m pregnant really draining. The whole “but you’ve made it past 12 weeks now so everything will be ok” - I am past that in dates yes but I have no idea what is going on in my womb!
Gosh I am really ranty!

No need to worry about being a downer @Namechangedforthis60

I'm in exactly the same point & next week is my 20 week scan. I thought I’d been feeling flutters over the last couple of weeks, but don't seem to have felt as many this week. I have been super busy at work and hardly sat down in the evenings which is when I’m more likely to notice to them, so trying to alleviate my anxiety and put it down to that. I’m 20 weeks today & had planned I’d announce on Instagram when I made it half way, but I can't shake the voice in my head telling me it's tempting fate before the scan.

I’m not giving you much reassurance it gets easier, it does, some days are easier but some are still loud with worry

@Namechangedforthis60 rant away, please! I know I won't relax until after my dating scan and screening (my age is a whole other worry) but have warned my partner I may not relax then either. I'm wishing time away so I hope it passes quickly for you too!

I’m also doing screening tests this time round. Haven’t done them before so not sure what to expect!

Absolutely rant away @Namechangedforthis60 ! It's really hard having people being optimistic when you're trying to be realistic or even pessimistic. I'm 16 weeks and still haven't told many people, I honestly don't want their input. To be told it'll be fine or you're past 12 weeks now means absolutely nothing when you have no idea why you've miscarried in the past. I don't even know how people can behave normal whilst pregnant, I wouldn't dare get on a flight or anything at this point even though most people wouldn't think twice, I just dont want to take any risks!

@LPR16 what day is your scan? The 20 week scan is a big deal for so many reasons so I understand your worry. Hopefully you'll start feeling more consistent movements soon, I've been feeling movements too at 16 weeks!

I've had the screening in both pregnancies (that have made it past 7 weeks) and it's very straightforward. On your 12 week scan they measure the fluid behind babies neck, a high measurement can indicate a problem and a low one is usually a good sign (mine was 1.6 this pregnancy which is good). They then take some blood just after and you receive results with the likelihood of certain syndromes (i was low, chance of 1 in 5000 of them having the syndrome). I was surprised as I'm older this time around. If it's low risk they'll just upload them onto Badger (if you're using that) but they will contact you within a few days if it's high risk and they will offer you more testing such as NIPT test or amniocentesis.

@ThatMintMemberits on Wednesday morning, thankfully first thing ☺️ I feel like there are some movements happening but that I can't get fully excited until afterwards.

@Namechangedforthis60I had the screening, it was exactly as mint member has described. We had a 1 in 240 result which is just above high risk, so wasn't eligible for NIPT on the nhs, we paid privately so we had some clarity

@LPR16 Ah hopefully you've got some things planned to take your mind off it over the weekend and that you might feel ready to announce afterwards 😊

Just had my 16 week midwife appointment and got to hear the babies heartbeat on the doppler. Next appointment isn't until September 😮 glad I've got the 20 week scan in between as that's a long gap!

@ThatMintMember aw that's brilliant you got to hear the heartbeat 💓

Gosh that is ages til September! Even after your 20 week scan it's quite a big gap? I can't even remember when I saw my midwife last time, it was probably the same but everything feels like so much longer now.

@ThatMintMemberI’m away for a hen do this weekend, it’ll keep me busy but definitely a different experience sober.

Have you not got a 25 week appointment with the midwife?

@ChasingRainbow5 Yeah I knew there would be fewer appointments since it's my second baby but that's literally a 12 week gap!

Hope the hen weekend helps the time pass quicker even if you will be sober @LPR16! No, just checked on the NHS website and I don't get one at 25 weeks, only the one at 28 weeks because I've had a baby before.

@ThatMintMember oh I didn't know it's different for your second baby! That's good to know/be prepared for.

My partner and I were talking about holidays earlier and I said "IF I make it to 20 weeks the scan might be that week" - he was like of course you'll make it to 20 weeks. I wish I could have that optimism!

I had heard from other people that you see them a lot less than in your first pregnancy. The NHS tells you which appointments you get if it's your first pregnancy or a later one here:

www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/your-pregnancy-care/your-antenatal-care-and-appointments/

Booking anything is so hard when you really don't know what will be going on in several weeks isn't it! I haven't even dared to book a hairdressers appointment. My greys are out of control as I was putting it off until my 2nd trimester and just haven't booked it still 😬

How is everyone getting on?

I've still got eight days to wait til my next scan and it's going sooo slowly, I feel my anxiety grow by the day. I still feel exhausted and a bit sick but I'm worried about the progesterone masking anything going wrong.

I hope the days pass quickly until your scan! I'm ok, I still don't feel at all pregnant and the reassurance from my scan last week seems to be ebbing by the day. I've got my booking in appointment next Monday and NHS scan on the 9th of July. So hoping I'll feel better after that, also we can start telling people which will be a relief. My daughter figure skates and I coach her, but I obviously can't do that while pregnant (I can get on the ice but I'm not going to spin/jump as the chances of falling are high). So I'm having to fake a knee injury atm 😂.

Isn't it mad how quickly that reassurance fades away?! My booking appointment is next Wednesday so our dates must be quite close, I don't get my 12 week scan date til then but expect it to be the same week as you.

Ah that's a shame, hope your fake injury isn't too sore 😉

Glad you’re both doing okay @Swissmeringue @ChasingRainbow5 I hope your booking appointments and scans go well!

I’m still plodding on, I got a call on Friday to say our histology results are back and I need to go see the consultant on Thursday about them- bit concerned they’ve come back so quickly as it’s less than 2 weeks since the op. DP has went away on a trip for 3 and a half weeks today so feeling extra sad about that and having to do the upcoming appointments alone but such is life!

@sapphirerubydiamond that's rotten you have to go alone, is there anyone else you'd consider asking? Or to keep you company before/after, hate thinking of you being on your own all that time. I suppose on the plus side you'll have answers sooner rather than later, but it's hard to find positives in an all round shitty situation 😔

@sapphirerubydiamond I hope you have someone you can talk to even if your partner can't be there for your appointment. Let us know how you get on. We're here to talk or vent if you need too!

I hope the time until your next appointments go fast @ChasingRainbow5 and @Swissmeringue ! I'm 17 weeks now and luckily time has been going faster since around 12 weeks!

Thinks are going ok with me, been feeling rather crampy the last few days which I've not enjoyed. Hopefully just normal but it makes me nervous! I've dug out my pregnancy pillow in the hope that might help. Very glad I've been feeling baby to offer some reassurance in-between scans too.

Best of luck @sapphirerubydiamond - it’s horrible waiting for any appointment, especially when you have become accustomed to them being bad news. Hope you can find some support, even if your partner is away 💐

Sorry to hear you’re having to face the appointment on your own @sapphirerubydiamondhope you’ve got some friends and family who can come and be with you even if it’s not at the actual appointment

How lovely to be able to feel baby!!!! Hoping this means you’ll get some relief from the worry in between scans xx

Thanks ladies! I’m so glad we’ve got this thread (I hope you don’t mind me still hanging around!)

I think I’m probably just going to go alone, I’m the first out of all my friends to have (well, attempt to have children) and they just don’t really get it- I think they’d be more of a hindrance than a help 😅

how are you doing @feelingalittlehorse?