Fabulous 40+ and Proud: Mum and Mums to be Part 2

[Kaz1967]

Ok we have talked to the end of the topic so here is a new one

hi babycakes - - I had been wondering how you are doing - really nice to hear from you you sound like you are in positive frame of mind - good luck with the TTC!

I don't think we have moved the thread anywhere yet - it's just quiet today.

I read a lovely little letter in the Family section of the Guardian today - from a mum to her 15 month old daughter about her recent miscarriage and how the daughter brought her so much comfort. It was sad but lovely. Reminded me of what pwcbird said about her own LO.

Hello ladies,
Have been trying to catch up and read up your news - so much goes on it's hard to keep up when you've been off for a day or two!

Well firstly, our DS is Joseph after Dh's 2nd favourite despot (Josef Stalin)as I refused Adolf, understandably!! (actually we both just liked Joseph but that's what we tell people and they all believe us and look horrified), so I think serial killers is a good theme.

Thanks again for new messages. babycakes26 I don't want to put you on a backward path as you sound so positive but perhaps it would be nice to have someone to chat to. I've only dipped my toe in the miscarriage section and not actually posted yet.

Update: Things have been tough last couple of days. Wed and Thurs I was fine - told everyone (albeit via email so I didn't have to speak to anyone - of course parents/family not included in that) and felt strong and coping. Then, Friday morning - bam - just tears non stop all day and felt so tired and drained and shattered. Probably raging hormones too. As ipanemagirl says Dh and I seemed to go on a different path as well - him all silent and really moody and me all clingy and teary and it's been like two same magnets repelling against each other. So that didn't help and made me feel quite lonely . We had a talk this afternoon though and it's ok and he told me how much he loved me etc and all that guff (whilst we were in supermarket of course ) and it's just that usual men are from mars and women from venus thing. They shut off but it's tough when you need them. He's hurting too though of course. Plus a friend of mine, who is due about two weeks before I was due emailed me with news that she's having a boy and all is well and it really knocked me down. Not her fault, poor love.

Anyway - sorry if this is too depressing and has made you all gaze at your naval fluff in despondancy. I'm ok. I've bought a small bottle of TIA MARIA ...now... what was that about cool things you were talking about earlier??? and we have chinese and maltesers and I'm going to watch a feelgood movie and drink and stuff tonight.
Monday, I'm getting healthy and going to try and lose some weight so that hopefully, all being well in the scheme of things and all that, in 3-4 months we can ttc.

Love hearing all your fabness - and don't go somewhere and not tell me - I would be lost! I was trying to think of a new heading but wasn't inspired and where would we go? No-one would find us in chat. Hmmm a conundrum indeed.
x

evening all, Ben is back from his grandparents so chaos has returned and I can no longer see the lounge carpet. I am a totally slacker mom at the moment and can't be bothered to tidy up cos it will be the same tomorrow.
MrsB sorry to hear about the upset tum, I had the same earlier in the week while we were out for a meal, we just had to go home.
big wave to babycakes I'm fine although it's mrs J over in China if you are thinking that far east and not just east Anglia.
Tia-maria hey PCwbird, cripes it is a long time since i drank that, I was more a southern comfort and lemonade girl. Have a lovely evening.
I have just sent DH out for chocolate, ymmmm

Great to hear from you both pwcbird and babycakes I hope you are both doing good and keeping hanging on in there We're all here if you need to vent or have a chat. Seems there's usually someone around who might have some experience of what you're going through and can lend an ear.

Glad to see you're dusting off the alcohol and chocolates mmmmmmmm. Oh, and chinese. Sounds like a good night in to me. All you need to complete the scene is the new Boden catalogue, some bright red nail varnish for your toes and a willing OH to apply some cocoa butter to your feet whilst gently massaging them.

We've just had an Indian from the supermarket and after patting ourselves on the back on how much we've saved rather than going out, we're both stuffed, lying on the sofa and burping (too much diet pepsi...barp)

Are we appointing someone who has some leadership skills to sort out a chat/thread/link or shall we all put ourselves together on a Facebook page (but still be on Mumsnet for other things, naturally)? I dunno, once again I'm just throwing my hat into the arena.

Well, the day came today that I thought I would never see some 9 weeks ago. Katherine is now in a little cot She's off CPAP altogether too! Well at least that is the idea but we all know how things can fall down....so fingers crossed now she's on the nasal prongs with low flow oxygen. She also took some more of my milk from a bottle today. Not loads but she can suck and swallow so that's the main thing. Just more practice needed.

hedgepig I was confused in previous post. I thought you'd upped sticks and settled in Beijing without anyone knowing! Mightily confuzzled.

I'm now going to let my large gut hang over my PJ bottoms and burp a la Homer Simpson....and I'll leave you with that image

thanks for that image jJW, I am feeling rather queasy now . The chocolate has given me indigestion -sulk
As to where to put our thread - I'm still pg so don't have a particular issue with it staying here, but i can understand why others think we should move. I think we should stay on mumsnet so other people can join if they want. My inclination if we move is a post-natal thread.

hedgepig like I've said before, I'm easy (cue DH guffawing in background shouting 'we know! we know!) I'll go where the Mumsnet takes me

Sorry that you're suffering after your moment of indulgence. For a moment I thought it might have been the image of me in my pyjamas (as if!)

Quick update on K...she's now 3lb 12oz She's growing out of babygro's and vests! I can't believe it's not butter.

Wow, Freecycle was fab for getting rid of crap really good stuff from out of katherine's room jeanjeannie. Too many replies, not enough items to go around I'm going to sort out more shit good stuff today and get it on there. They even pick up!!!! Wonder if they take slightly used DH's

Afternoon all....well, I guess that was summer then...chucking it down now

Hello babycakes glad to see you're doing ok - and thinking fit! And pwcbird good to hear from you too. I know - this thread business is a tricky one....just need to make sure everyone can find us and everyone fits in. Aw - bless your DH - I think telling you he loved you in the supermarket was very sweet. They have very little sense of occasion. I do hope the Tia Maria, Maltesers and chinese hit the spot

hedgepig good to see Ben is back creating mayhem over the floor....must have been tidy without him...bless And is East Anglia not some far-off communist state?...or am I confusing it with Suffolk

Wow...JW her own cot....cool. I looked at your pics - that last one - with her being moved made me smile....I like the way it says 'Globe trotter' on the side. Just thought that was amusing. And she's pretty much the same size as Iris was ....that's a good weight. Ah - once she takes to the bottle and gets the suck going I bet she piles on the pounds.

mrsjupiter how goes it over in HK/China? Do check in when you can and let us know how you're all doing.

I'm with hedgepig on the thread staying on MN...and I'm thinking maybe pregnacy is the right place for the moment as there are loads still waiting to pop and others TTC etc. And those of us with munchkins can just give advice like wise old bats sages ! But I think a slight re-working of the title...to encompass TTC/preggie and post.

Iris discovered a sandpit today - and ate the contents. Why I bothered with sandwiches and a mini cheese I don't know.

Well yeah jeanjeannie she is a little globetrotter already in her short life

We could of course make a new thread like 'over 40's club (aka the old git club)'. Then we just transport all the usual suspects from here over to there et voila! we're all present and correct; those with and without bumps

Oh, and why are you SO surprised that Iris would choose sand over sandwiches? I'm just waiting for the post that announces what you found when you changed her nappy

pwcbird I found talking about my little girl I lost helped even when feeling food it reinforced her being real, I am sure BC would not have offered if she had not felt up to talking to someone about their loss too.

BC it is so good to hear from you glad you are doing ok.

Hey what a muppet I am Hedgepig of course I meant East Anglia - I was referring to the tractor olympics heading your way Durhh me!

pwcbird I would be more than happy to have a chat/email whatever you fancy whenever you like. DH and I had similar 'issues' in that first horrible month - it all came to a head eventually with me threatening to move out - I was so on my own planet for a while back there - not sure why it all got so bad between us - no sense to it really - everything is just so difficult to accept once things start to settle and everyone else gets back on with 'normal' life. The hormones just fuelled my frustration and anger but it will slowly get a little better I promise you!

You can find me on FB [Max Clark] or let me know if you want my direct email address....no pressure just we may be able to help each other once you feel up to it - I am having more good days than bad now so better able to see some light - I can hold your hand a bit until you too can see your own way ahead ;-)

Hi Kaz by the way - your little K looks beautiful - hope all is well your end and you are settling into your new life OK - take care x

Hahah babycakes those 'tractor olympics' eh?! Well, we're cock-a-hoop here cos we saw a trailer for next week's Trans World Sport (channel 4) and it was for Mongolian Yak Polo........it looked FAB! Now that SHOULD be a n Olympic sport

Sun back out again.....all outside! Third night on the run with virtually no sleep.........humour bypass now heading my way

Mongolian Yak Polo????? Good lord!

No sun here just rain

I take it Verity is keeping you on your toes? I'm sending you a nervous breakdown via Parcelforce

babycakesyou sound so positive, I think you are doing marvelously
pwcbird I cant believe how well you appear to be doing...I am in awe of both you and BC..When I lost Robyn I went to pieces, I could barely speak to Dh because he wasnt grieving "properly" which made me feel so dreadfully alone as if I was the only one who had loved and wanted her, especially when everyone stopped talking to me about her as if she had never "been",....what is more my bf, my cousin, dhs friend and dhs cousin were all 4 due within a month of Robyns EDD,I couldnt bear to see any pg woman, let alone those that were close to us. I was eaten up with grief and bitter envy...made worse when Dhs bf announced their "accidental" pg 3 months later....it just seemed so unfair....like salt being rubbed into my wounds. You are marvelously understanding of your friend and I'm glad your Dh has found the words,(if not the most appropriate place), to give you his love and support. In my case by the time all those babies were popping I was pg again with my now 10mth old Alex. I hope the chinese, chocolates and tiamaria had the desired effect.
JohnWorf Fantastic news about K being off cpap altogether now...she really is going from strength to strength....not too long now and that silvercross of yours will be earning its price (did I say, we bought the classic sleepover 2nd hand off ebay for my Mum and it is brilliant! much better than our Bebecar Adventure which he is too big to sleep in already)
Jeanjeannielol at Iris's preferrance for the sand...I have that joy yet to come

As to moving the group...personally agree with Hedgepig, I think here on face book there is a need for a support thread encompassing ttc, pg, m/c and motherhood for the over 40s...there are so many more/different issues for us than for those 20yrs younger.

Thanks FloriaTosca. I shall pass on your good wishes and all round congrats to Princess K herself when I see her later.

I think you are spot on btw re OH's. It seems to be a universal feature of men that they seem to retreat within themselves whenever things go wrong. Whereas us women tend to wear out hearts on our sleeves. I know that when I had my MC I hated my DH as he didn't 'seem' to care and I felt I was grieving for the two of us. When I had Katherine I once again wanted to throttle him for his cavalier attitude. After I finished wanting to slap his face, he told me that he felt he had to be strong and carry but he did feel upset inside. I'm not saying this is what all men do or is indeed the correct thing to do but I can see how it causes problems for us women folk

FloriaTosca snap! I've got the Silver Cross Sleepover classic. So glad you've given it a thumbs up

OK - so, got to the park and it bucketed it down with rain....thanks Johnworf...that's when the nervous breakdown you sent arrived. Parcelforced right to me in the rain on the rye. Not a happy bunny

Oh I've had it with pushchairs/prams. The double Phil & Teds has a sling style cot - for up to 4 months.....yeah, right. Verity has already outgrown it at 9 weeks ... Me thinks that's not great design. Now have to modify seat as I can't stomach carrying her in a sling everywhere. I love the Sleepover classic....much nicer than both my buggies. As the Americans would say..."good choice"

hello all, hope you are all well, having a duvet day today - couldn't be fecked with work, mostly the thought of cycling. My OH is really nervous about me cycling now and that makes me nervous. I can't walk as its two miles and I have a painful ligament type pain down the inside of both thighs which precludes walking more than a few hundred yards. Still, only a week to go after this week.

Off to read latest posts and look at latest piccies etc...

mrsboogie.....only ONE week to go after this -and you're cycling AND still at work.....WTF!!! Er....I think a duvet day is yours.....so is a duvet week....make that a year So - when do you go on Mat leave then? Well, you make sure you do nowt today...and then get back on your bike you lazy so-and-so ! x

haha noooo jeanjeanie - one week to go until maternity leave!! haha I wish it was one week full stop!!

cycling's not bad - my bump is not big - doesn't really feel that much different to normal. It's just the further on it gets the more vulnerable I feel - if some eejit was to walk out in front of me (has happened twice recently) or open a car door in front of me and I fell over. The OH is on tenterhooks every day now till I get off me bike.

FloriaTosca I agree about a thread for us 40+ women what ever stage we are at you have concerns but there are specific ones once you get older. I know I went looking for info on being an older Mum esp with all the negative info there is out there we do have a specific page on Facebook too rather quiet at the moment but you are all welcome

www.new.facebook.com/group.php?gid=21939217758

mrsboogie Mum cycled with both me and my brother right up until when she had us ended up on an open (ladies) frame mind that was 40+ years ago and traffic was different

Nappy news...johnworf I know you like an update If you ever wondered what happened after your LO has eaten copious amounts of sand.....well, it's exactly the same on the way out as it is going it. Yes, I've literally found a sand pit in Iris's nappy . She seemed fine, except there has been a little bit of micro-derma-brasion of the bottom area

Ah mrsboogie I muddled up my dates! thought that had come round quick!

jeanjeannie I'm having some new doors delivered next week so you could send Iris' nappy up to me and I'll use that for rubbing them down. Proper recycling that is

WTF happened with the P+T superdooper carriage? Demand a refund!!

I've already joined the Facebook thingy kaz1967

Well done mrsboogie for keeping up the cycling at your stage. I had a job waddling at 24 weeks so goodness only knows what I'd be doing now (parallel universe where I'm 34 weeks pregnant).

Some new pics of the queen on my profile. She's been promoted from princess tonight as she managed to shit through her nappy, her vest, her babygro, her sheet and right down onto the mattress.

Shwing!

MrsB - hope you are feeling a bit better today. Only a week to go to your maternity leave how fantastic. Now don't over do it with nesting and decide to demolish the kitchen or something silly . I was steam stripping walls and plastering (well patching) walls on my last Mat Leave a bit daft when I look back at it.
JW queen K is looking huge and proper sheets how snuggly.
I saw MW yesterday and LO has moved from transverse to oblique with the head towards the bottom so I may actually get to give birth to this one ekkkkkkkkk I have been so convinced this one will be another breech that I have been resigned for another cs.

I am indeed hedgepig - back at work and resigned to getting my filing finished this week. Was hobbling about all day and night last night with what I imagine is ligament pain. All round tummy and down inner thighs. Could barely hobble to the loo for my middle of the night wee, but thank god this morning it had improved when I woke up.

It's v uncomfortable but I don't mind cos it makes me think that everything must be growing ok or I wouldn't be having this stretching going on.

How is everybody else today?