Fabulous 40+ and Proud: Mum and Mums to be Part 2

[Kaz1967]

Ok we have talked to the end of the topic so here is a new one

pwcbird The hardest thing about loosing a pregnancy or baby is the lost dreams you get past that 12 week phase and you thin yep hone straight things are fine tell the world and then it crashes down around you when you least expect it and are totally unprepared. 16 years on I still grieve for my little girl not every day but things still make me think of her and what could have beens, not as raw now especially since Kezzy she has not replaced her but as you say with your LO you have already think it gives you something to focus on. Other people react in several ways some have been there so know the feeling and just treat you as normal, others expect you to get over it really quickly because after all (had this said to me) "you never got to know them so it's not like loosing a real person?????" others just do not know what to say so may literally avoid you. You will probably find support in places and from people you never though would I certainly did.

Look after yourselves take time for your selves and give yourselves time to grieve/celebrate what you have in whatever way feels right for you and as jeanjeannie don't feel you can't come back your little one and you are still very much part of this merry band

pwcbird I was in China last night without internet so only now reading your news. I don't know what to say to you except I'm so sorry.

It's put a new perspective on my situation. I have only had a glimpse of what you might be going through - I thought my baby had died while I was being evacuated to Hong Kong and that hour was the most terrible of my life. I want to say how incredibly you are handling everything - it's amazing to me what pain human beings can tolerate when they have no choice.

I hope it helps if I share the experience of my parents who lost a child at the age of one, and who said that while the pain is always there, you do eventually learn to feel "normal" again.

Will be thinking of you.

Afternoon all.

Well I'm not sure about where the thread should live.... was just mulling over it being in 'Pregnancy' bearing in mind that so many of us aren't in the same situation when it started and I'd hate to think people have dropped off because they no longer fit the title...iyswim?

Thinking caps on. I thought maybe a slightly re-titled thread in Chat - with a constant 'bumped' up thread in pregnancy that tells you where we are. A faff I know. OR we could ask MN people for a special discussion topic...well, hey, they've got one for 'Menopause'...and no-one wants to think about that - let alone discuss it !! not sure what to do - it's not urgent...just don't want people feeling they don't fit the thread anymore I mean, I'm not preggie - just harrassed - and no one can get rid of me!

JW Kensington or Chelsea..PMSL....I now have illusions of grandeur! Nah - definately unwashed me Just lived in London for 20+ years as never left after college.

Go on Katherine...down in one, one, one, one, one...practising for those 'pub years'

all very true kaz.

I had a missed m/c last year but it was early and not physically very traumatic so I got over it quickly. What I found difficult to get over was the knowledge that the baby had died weeks before I realised so I had been blissfully unaware for weeks. That was horrible. Also a woman at work had been due almost on the same day as me - whever I see her with her one year old now it brings it back to me. Its easier now that I am pg again though.

What about a general over 40's thread?

If the truth be known and it was left to me it'd be entitled '40, f**ked and frazzled' but hey, I never did get that job in PR.

Just throwing ideas around.

JW that is exactly how I feel today "40 f**ked and frazzled" I am so tired. I shouted at my manager yesterday when she gave me an extra project to do (I only have 11 days left arggggg).
I have had a look in chat but don't really think we fit there but maybe somewhere in "being a parent" "parenting" or a "post natal" thread?
I'm really missing Ben he is still with his grandparents and he house is so quiet.

come come ladies we must keep our 40+ fabness!! We can keep the f*cked and frazzledness for the 50+ years

LOL!

LOL too. you are quite right MrsB positive thought is the way too go. Has it cooled down in York?

WAHAHAH....LOL as well. Oh gawd....we'll still be on MN at 50+? Our own cosy little thread....that we've knitted ourselves, wearing comfy shoes and a nice cocoa to all newcomers OOo no - sorry, cos then 50 will be the new 30. Save the comfy shoes and cocoa till the 70+ thread and make the knitwear Missoni !

I can report a certain coolness is wafting over Bucks...the ladies in the Home Counties are less sticky

cripes JJ I'm in comfy shoes already have been since I was in my 30's I'm afraid. Although my new comfy flat shoes have given me a blister ouch. Haven't had coco since i got pg cos it makes me feel sick, so I am saved.
Bought new bras today cost a fortune oh for a small cup size. Seriously thinking of a reduction once i have fed this one , but it is a pretty serious op, maybe I should try a diet 1st

aye yes - York is cool now! it pissed down from 12 'til 7 here so I had to get a taxi home from work as I was wearing me flipflops (sparkly ones, mind - you'll find nowt matronly adorning these feet) and couldn't risk cycling.

Alas to report, my progress to the taxi rank was less than dignified - walking like a ponderous hippo on a slow day, hair plastered to my head and my feet kept slippin out of the flip flops so I kept walking off without one or other of them.

Only two weeks left thank fook!

mrsboogie in my mental image of you waddling to the taxi rank, I was playing the music that always came on when Reginald Perrin thought of his mother in law

Glad to see you aren't clock watching!

I'm on the look out for a new pair of shoes and spent ages looking at Hush Puppies, Clarks and Ecco. Hush Puppies seem to have had an image makeover of late so these might be off my list as too trendy and too high . Purlease, nothing over 1 inch for me I'm with you hedgepig, comfort over looks any day

And might I add, what's up with knitting? I'm member of a knitting circle on Facebook...it's the new alternative to shooting up heroin dintcha know? I'm sure Amy Winehouse will be knitting and purling soon.

OK...OK I used the wrong analogies....comfy shoes ARE cool and so is knitting. I'd got nannas knitting shreddies in my head....but actually I lOVE knitting (not crochet though that's too hard) Knitting is also VERY cool. Hangs head in shame...... I also like cocoa.

OK - so what I meant to refer to were.....zimmer frames, Stanna Stair lifts and blue rinses.

Mrsboogie...such a mental picture you painted of you and your slippy, wet flip flops breaking out into a trot. Aw, two weeks.....TWO weeks. Blimey that's shot round. Can't remember....do you know what flavour baby?

hedgepig don't mention cup sizes. My norks are HUGE still and she's 9 weeks today. I thought it'd settle but she had a 7 hour sleep last night but my boobs exploded - literally. Woke up all wet....leakage.....I mean everywhere...gross.
Weird - as I've never needed pads....never once leaked and suddenly....milk enough for a capuccino

pwcbird I am so so sorry to read your post and send love and hugs to you. 17 weeks is so far down the line, i can't imagine what you must be going through.
I had a mc at 9 weeks about 4 years ago and found it incredibly hard even though I had my ds to distract me as you do. But at 17 weeks it's so much more established. I found the miscarriage threads here an enormous comfort. I also remember thinking that there are no standard responses to this kind of loss. Every grief seems unique and although time does heal, it varies so much from mother to mother. I felt incredibly lonely with the grief. DH just did it on his own too. So hard. When we could bear to really comfort each other it helped loads but we didn't always manage it. Massive hugs to you.

My chesticles have shrivelled to witch like proportions Are now resembling spaniels ears.......

jeanjeannie have now got the gist of your meaning of 'old' especially the nanas who knit shreddies. How cool are those? If I was younger I'd really believe they did that

Ok, been a member of Bury freecycling for a while but not used it until today. Two old portables are now up on the messageboard for anyone who wants them. I'm just so bloody hip and trendy I amaze myself sometimes

Katherine is sporting her first babygro today. Pictures to follow of her in her 'going on the razz' outfit

Oh we love freecycle ....we've got rid of so much shit stuff that way. We love reading some of the wanteds...like "want a 42 inch plasma screen tv" ....or ......"bugaboo pram" yeah right...in your dreams!

Oh..I've put a couple more pics up of Verity...see those fat cheeks...!

hello all

it's a boy jeanjeanie, we can't seem to produce the female variety in my family - this will be my parents' sixth grandson (much to my mother's express and very tactless disappointment)On the other side it will be the first grandchild but every single one of my OH's cousins are boys.

thank god I booked today off - was up til 4am with stomach cramps and a hint of ehm diarrhea (sorry tmi) thought I was coming down with some sort of tummy bug, but it seems to have stopped now. Also thought I might be finally experiencing this Braxton Hicks business but no. I'm wondering now if it was just pg related.

I am definitely in the market for some boob surgery at some stage - I need to lose four stone at least so gawd alone knows what state they will be in after that. I wouldn't want implants - just to have them made smaller and perkier. Now where did I leave that spare 6 grand...

jeanjeannie Verity has indeed got the chubby cheek factor. Just gotta pinch 'em

I do like Iris with the cake around her face and I've just spotted the pic where Iris is running/walking and notice that I've bought the very same dress for Katherine (only it's much much smaller of course). I think it's possibly organic (I didn't know you could actually grow dresses with or without pesticides).

mrsboogie sorry to hear that you've got the shits runs. Hopefully it's subsided and not the start of labour. Sorry. Didn't mean to frighten you only a couple of mine started off with the squits.

Any names yet for him? What about Henry (VI)?

And yes, everyone should recycle their old crap. It's very green don't you know? It saved my diesel going to the tip!

yeah seems to be ok now - you're not saying anything that didn't fleetingly pass through my head at 3am this morning jw! the LO one was hopping about all over the place too at the same time which is unusual.

anyhoo I'd be amazed if I went into labour early I have a feeling he's in no hurry at all.

we've had a terrible job tryin' to think of names - the only ones we both like are Alex, Harry and Theo. I like David also but there's a lot of 'em about in my family.

I like Harry (but it would have been short for Henry) and Alex/Alexander/Xander are all lovely too.

If I'd got my Harry I would then have had the full set; Tom (Thomas), Dick (Richard) and Harry (Henry). I even considered Harriet for a girl

Theo is nice too but I've seen loads of them around of late. We too have far too many David's in our family as well so that was def a no-no.

Pleased that LO is hanging on in there until he's fully cooked

I haven't heard of any Theos except OH's family cat which passed away recently was called Theo so that's putting me off a bit. We also liked Dexter but probably not too auspicious to call him after a fictional serial killer, however cute

Afternoon ladies it has been a while since I last posted just been so busy.

Pwcbird absolutely terrible news I am so sorry for you and your family big hugs and please look after each other xx

back in touch later.

mrsboogie - sorry about the trots....Hmmm, yes, I think an arrival would have been on my mind too!

We're the opposite - girls galore although we didn't find out with Verity - I was convinced we were having a boy! Pah - now I'll never get to use Ptolemy or Caspar!!

LOVE the name Alex...but that was a no, no cos it's DP real name (although Sasa is always used as they're odd like that those Eastern Europeans!)
And we loved Harry/Henry too. LOADS of Theos here. I think we'd have plumped for Ivan...although Vaughn was in the running too. Never know now.....unless we try again....

Calling kids after serial killers is fun - I like a theme! Our pets are all going to be named after dictators and despots. The cat is Bob (mugabe) and when we get the dog it's going to be called Tito And I think even Tom & Barbara in the Good Life had a chicken called Lenin. Hours of family fun

rosebury HELLO! *waves furiously x

Hello everyone - just doing my check in to see how everyone is doing and I am devastated to hear PWCBird's news - OMG - just truly devastated for you honey - you sound in the same sort of place that we were a couple of months back - I can so relate to the type of pain you are feeling - if/when you ever fancy a chat - let me know and I'll give you my email details {{{{BIG HUGS}}}}} I found it quite easy to talk to someone who had recently experienced the same as me - no pretending just letting all the feelings pour out - but you may just want to pick up life as best you can and get on with things.

Hey everyone else - when is this super40+ and fabulous thread going to be set up - or have I missed the boat - are you already chilling out somewhere new? Let me know....I would hate not to be able to catch up on all the news :-)

Johnworf glad you are doing Ok - Katherine is really putting weight on - wow! I am so happy for you - I often think about you and how Katherine is doing.

JeanJeannie Verity looks totally gorgeous - she is such a cutie - hope you are OK.

Hedgepig how are you doing? How long to go now? Hope all is well over in the East - are you all set for Olympic-mania?

Hope the trots improve soon MrsB

Take care all - see you again soon on the new thread if you let me know where you are We are Ok - I think I mentioned all test results were fine last time I dropped in so it's just now a question of getting a bit fitter before I hopefully jump on the TTC bandwagon in the next few months - I think we just about have the courage to give it another go (well on good days anyway). I'll keep you posted on any news xxx