‘Older’ mom experiences

[katek88]

Hi everyone, I have 2 children already (had them both in my 20s) but have recently remarried and strongly suspect I am currently pregnant, will test in due course.

Anyway, I turn 37 next month and given that I’m significantly older than I was with my other 2, I’m interested in others’ experiences not just of pregnancy but also of being an older parent. I always wanted to finish up having kids by my early 30s but life happens! Thanks all xxx

I take it you’re not in London or the south east!!

I’m not, no! How did you guess?

Why do you think?

OP 37 is a very average age to have kids in London. Many women don’t even get started until then.

I had two dc in my early 30s and dc3 at 37. There was no real difference, apart from I was more tired and less able to rest due to the fact I was already a parent. I had a bit of nausea and ligament pain but I think both were due to not resting really.

DC 3 is 5 now and I’m in my early forties. I wouldn’t say I’ve noticed any real difference. But I’m in London, so a very average age for a parent at the school gates.

Thank you! That’s actually really interesting. I think it feels a scary concept to me partly because all the hard days are loooong behind me (my youngest just turned 7) and going back to the newborn days seems daunting! Thanks very much for your perspective

OP, this is such a strange question. I had my children at 38 and 40 and most women I know were the same. I also know several women who had children in their 40s. One of them 47. In contrast I don’t know anyone at all who had children in their 20s, apart from my grandmother.

I have got fitter as I have got older. In my 20s I didn’t exercise regularly and I was a smoker and drinker. I often felt very tired. Now I have plenty of energy. As does my mum who is in her 70s, works part time and goes to the gym 3 times a week. It’s an outdated sociocultural belief that you are in your prime in your 20s. It’s also definitely not the best time to have children imo. It’s a time to study, establish a career and/or travel. Late 30s onwards is ideal to have children. And of course you don’t feel older and more tired. The opposite.

Thanks for your response. It may be a strange question to you because it’s something you’ve seen a lot of and is very much normal. To me, my friends, siblings and those I’m surrounded by have had children in their 20s so I’m looking to draw upon the experience of those outside of my circle. I’m glad your experience has been nothing but positive, I hope mine will be too

Sorry to disagree but I had my DS at 36 and I know for a fact I wouldn't have been so shattered if I'd been in my 20's. Don't get me wrong I love being a mom but I do feel guilty that he's not got the most and best of me as I'm permanently exhausted

I think you will be fine if you are pregnant, maybe just an adjustment getting back into the baby stages and lack of sleep again but you will adapt I’m sure!😊

Age wise, it’s different everywhere! Where I live it’s similar to you and would be considered older than average, whereas for a lot of previous posters it seems a very typical age (which is a good thing because it shows it’s totally doable and an age many people choose to have kids!)

Let us know when you test x

I don’t think you’re actually asking about ‘older mothers’. I think you’re asking about people who have had children in their 20s and went on to have more after a long gap. I had my son at almost 40 (and I was bang on average for my London NCT group of eight couples — the youngest woman was 38), and had an entirely unproblematic pregnancy and birth, but he’s my only child. My body hadn’t had previous pregnancies and births to contend with, and I wasn’t also bringing up older children. I don’t think the two experiences are the same,

Thank you :) I will do x

In the grand scheme of things, pregnancy in your 30s isn't that old. You'll probably feel more tired (more to do with having children already who need you than age).

37 was whippersnapper territory when I had my first in London. A few years later and one or two women my age at the school gates of my new town were grandmothers in their early 40s.

Anyway - very exciting times for you!
Please come back and tell us the results.

No I’m asking about people’s experiences as older parents. I’m definitely not as energetic as I was in my 20s and, as someone who isn’t close to anyone who’s had children in their late 30s or beyond, I’m interested if anyone had any complications or at what age you are more closely monitored etc. Thanks for your response I’m glad your pregnancy was smooth sailing

Yeah this has actually been quite interesting to see how big a swing there is between UK regions! There are definite positives to it, I’m far more established in my career and probably far more “ready” mentally than I was in my 20s. Thanks very much :)

I was 36 and was closely monitored because of being a smoker and having high blood pressure. If you're healthy at 37 then I wouldn't think there's be any extra monitoring

I had twins at 37 and it was fine
i am however a lot more tired and have less patience than 10 years ago and also a single parent so I suspect that’s more the issue than the actual age part 😂

Yes to the potential toll taken by previous childbirths and tiredness being less about maternal age than having had children before this.

And yes to huge disparities in maternal age. I’ve said this on here before. I generally saw my midwife at my GP surgery in a prosperous bit of north London. Most of the other expectant mothers were around my age, mid or late thirties to early forties. (I was 39). However, once or twice it was more convenient for me to see her at a clinic in a different area where she also worked. There all the mothers-to-be were twentyish, and accompanied by their mothers, who were my age.

My diet is pretty appalling, I’m a fast food fan! Maybe this will help me finally curb the habit 😂

Oh wow congrats!! Well I just have the utmost respect for any parent of twins regardless of age or situation so hats off to you

My pregnancy craving was chippy chips so I ate them every single day😂 I was sick throughout too but that happens to women of all ages

haha wow! Well it shows it can easily be done and I totally understand why people do wait. I had my first child at 26 but that was definitely not planned and I would have waited longer given the choice

Hi, I understand how you are feeling, I am nearly 6 weeks and I'm 35 and will be 36 when this baby comes along. I will also have a 13 year old and 10 year old. I feel more nervous this time than I did with my other two.

I was the same as you and thought I was done in my early 30’s.

I then panicked when I turned 35 as I was worried I’d never experience pregnancy again and didn’t want to be too old, so I went for one more. For me, the pregnancy was a million times harder than my previous ones. I do have epilepsy though which massively flared up during pregnancy. I felt like I was going to die every day for about 6 months. I was sleeping 2 hours a day (again, could be related to the epilepsy). But I had a really, really terrible time. it was noticeably difficult compared to when I was younger.

Baby is now 10 days old and my energy has come back, although I will say the nights are a bit of a killer and I had totally forgotten how hard that bit was.

My other kids are absolute dreams with the baby though and want to help all the time. I’m nowhere near as tired as I was when I was pregnant though, but I guess those early days where you power through.

haha that’s pretty much my unpregnant craving 😂 I put 4 stone on in both previous pregnancies, I just ate my way through both despite the sickness