‘Older’ mom experiences

[katek88]

Hi everyone, I have 2 children already (had them both in my 20s) but have recently remarried and strongly suspect I am currently pregnant, will test in due course.

Anyway, I turn 37 next month and given that I’m significantly older than I was with my other 2, I’m interested in others’ experiences not just of pregnancy but also of being an older parent. I always wanted to finish up having kids by my early 30s but life happens! Thanks all xxx

There was 11 years between baby number 2 & 3. My oldest was almost 15 at the time so they were sufficient, so not physically demanding of my time and I was also in good physical health as I had just gotten married and got myself in shape. My body has 11 years to recover so I do feel age made a difference to my pregnancies.

Almost 38 is an older mother though, it’s not something that’s based on views or perception, you’re in the latter years of your time being able to conceive children, it’s biologically factual. It’s not a criticism or a slight against you.

I think they’ve changed the term from geriatric to ‘advanced maternal age’ now, it does sound better 🤣

London/South East isn’t the only place in the world. Mumsnet is so London/SE centric. 🙄

I was the exact same age as you and also had 2 in my 20’s. I find it very hard I won’t lie but without outing myself too much it isn’t just one straight forward child. Peri-menopause has made parenting in my 40’s very challenging let’s say.

Hi, I had my 1st when I was 19, I am about to turn 43 and currently pregnant 11 weeks .. so that will be a 24 years age gap between my 1st and one on the way, it is a bit daunting as I know exactly what to expect but it’s also really nice thinking I’ll get an extra person to love in life and looking forward to all the fun times ahead a child brings, I was told I would maybes be on baby asprin from 12. Weeks due to my age with a risk of pr-eclampsia, I never obviously had that in my 1st pregnancy, I really enjoyed being pregnant the 1st time round so I am hoping this will be a similar experience with no complications. There is higher risk of abnormal chromosomes as you get older so I do worry about that slightly.

Also just to add , I heard a nice saying the other day and thought it was nice … a younger mum can give their child more energy , am older mum can give more wisdom! I thought it was nice and both either young or older or in the middle .. none matter and you will be a good mum at wherever age, each has pros and cons I guess.

@katek88 Hello there OP! I came a little late to your thread - massive congratulations on your pregnancy. I'm responding because I can sympathise with your position. Where I live mums are mostly 30 and under. I am 38, I had my first last year and currently trying for my second. I will be 39 in a few months. I often wonder if I would have been less tired etc if I had children when I was younger, but I don't know any better - just going with it! I was a heavy smoker and recreational drinker back then so maybe not! I am much fitter now. I have found it a bit strange going to parent and baby classes in my area. Everyone I have met is really nice, but I tend to be older by about 7-10 years. It shouldn't and doesn't matter in so many ways, but it's nice to find people in the same place as you isn't it. I really hope you have a stress free pregnancy and a gorgeous baby! Good luck 😊

Hi @katek88just wanted to say that I am also 37 and just found out I am pregnant with my 3rd last week! I share a lot of your worries and fears, I can totally relate to everything you are concerned about. Just know that you’re not alone! Let the madness begin, indeed 😂

Firstly, congratulations 😊 I had my first at 38, not by choice but we had fertility issues so just took longer. Pregnancy was fine and birth all fine. Body bounced back! I wasn't ready to have kids in my 20s, I was much calmer and settled in my 30s.

Second pregnancy I was 40 and it was unexpected and a shock. I thought it was perimenopause 🤣 All fine though, he was quite a big baby so my body took longer to recover.

Now that I'm in full blown menopause with mood swings, lots of weight gain etc and a 16 and 14 year old, it can feel like I'm the third teenager in the house 😁 but the timing was right for us.

My eldest has many MH issues and we've had lots of battles with schools/local authorities that I don't think I would have had the confidence and knowledge to deal with in my 20s.

Being an older mum has been perfect for me. Sometimes, I worry about how long I'll be around for them but I think every parent does this no matter what age they are.

I had my first 3 at 20, 22 and 24. Im now with a new partner who doesn't have kids and I did want more too so I'm currently 27 weeks pregnant at 39. I don't feel particularly old, my neighbour has just had her first at 38 and my friend has just had another baby, same age as me. We're hoping to have one more in a couple of years! Then I'll be done lol x

Well I'm 40 and pregnant 😃
I had children at 31, 34 and 37 but honestly I don't feel any different at 40 to 31.
In my 20s I had a poor diet and was always going out drinking. I'm fitter and healthier now.
The idea that you must be more tired in your late 30s/early 40s is a myth. Some of the best long distance runners and athletes are in their late 30s/early 40s. It's mostly down to lifestyle and mentality.
Some people just feel more tired because life becomes harder, more responsibilities to juggle etc. there's no reason why you can't be super fit and energetic in your 40s.
My parents are in their 70s and really fit, both playing sport to a high level.

I have a 6 year old and I’ll be 38 when I give birth in June. Wasn’t planned I thought I was starting early menopause massive shock. I’m worried about the age but what can I do 🤣 I feel shocking this pregnancy compared to 7 years ago though

My lads were 9&6 when I had my daughter aged 39. I’m now 55 (as is DH) and we have a wonderful 16 year old at home. We really enjoy having her with us rather than being empty nesters. It definitely keeps us younger and more fun.

i think it is wonderful having an age gap and going back to the start. Good luck with your pregnancy.

I have an 8 month old and I'm 39. I really worried about having another baby at my age but honestly it's been fine, for the most part better than with my eldest (she's 11) as I'm more confident and patient, settled etc. I've done all the wake ups solo and I've coped well though the 8 month regression and separation anxiety are currently kicking my proverbial behind...

It's not as tough as you think it will be all in all.