Due 2 weeks before wedding!

[Colliedogwalker]

Hello,
I have just found out i am pregnant and due 2 weeks before my wedding. Unfortunately wedding insurance dose not help for this and alot has already been paid.
First time mother and needing to know really what its like the first two weeks after. I fully understand everyone is different but i want to be as prepared as possible.

😍

My first was over two weeks late - and I had an episiotomy. I’d rearrange it.

I'm quite surprised at how many people weren't ok after birth! I think I must be in the minority, but I was fine after both my births, and I was going out for walks and taking my toddler to play gyms 3 days post partum after my second. I don't think I bled for that long either, only like a bit of a longer period.
Although I was fine physically though, I had a baby attached to me 24/7, my nipples were so painful I walked around topless / braless at home, I could only do things one handed, my boobs leaked a lot, and basically whenever you need to do something baby needs feeding so you have to sit down for an hour while they fuck about trying to latch on, burbing them then changing their nappy a million times a day!
I think even if you came on time and had a good recovery, you wouldn't enjoy your day if you went ahead because babies are all consuming, and the first couple of weeks you won't even have time to eat let alone put a wedding dress on or do your hair. Then thinking about the practicalities of the leaky boobs, plus bleeding and a white wedding dress.
I wouldn't go ahead, and I'd rather lose money and have a wedding I enjoy than spend less money on a day that has potential to be a shit show.

I'd postpone.

Dear @Colliedogwalker congratulations!! Exciting times for you!! This happened to a friend of mine and she put hers back a year and her little one was a lovely part of their day.

id get on to postponing asap x

As a first time mum I did Hypno birthing classes, was convinced there would be minimal pain, that after I would nap when baby did (I even remember when pregnant writing out a plan of how my days would be, and when I would rest and shower and how long feeding would take, when I would make dinner etc)
OMFG how deluded I was!! Giving birth was the most painful, scary and shocking thing I have ever experienced (and I’ve had major surgeries). I had a tear that ripped me apart and made weeing so painful for weeks after that I did it in a bowl of water most times. I bled heavily for weeks, my boobs leaked and walking about felt like my insides would fall out. My baby screamed constantly after 3 days after birth and wouldn’t settle or sleep.
I would 100% say cancel or rearrange your wedding!!

God no I couldn’t have done it 2 weeks after. Can you bring it forward? Tired zombie and couldn’t stand up straight due to a c section is what I remember!

With my first I was still in hospital! 9 days late, blood transfusions, resuscitated and I was jaundice. With my second I was at my friends 30th party when he was 10 days old!! You just don’t know it’s too unpredictable. Either bring it forward or push it back 6 months

First of all, congratulations.

By MN standards I'm the type of mum who did a lot in the weeks before and after delivery and absolutely didn't hide myself and the baby away. I also have a DH who is compassionate, family-focused, more organized and responsible than me, and who has a flexible career, extended family help, and the ability to pay for a great deal of household help. And we a very low-key, low-stress wedding with all of 7 people present (including DH and I). From that perspective I am still going to wholeheartedly echo the advice that has been given over and over here: reschedule now even if it costs some money.

It's absolutely possible that you would be able to get through a wedding weekend like you describe at 2 weeks post-due date. But frankly that's best case scenario and your wedding shouldn't be about getting through it, it should be about joyfully celebrating that milestone in the way you actually want. And the reality and unpredictability of pregnancy and childbirth is that there's a big chance that you simply wouldn't be able to even get through it 2 weeks post-due date and would have to cancel last minute, which will be more disappointing and more expensive.

Talk to your partner, your families, and vendors. Reschedule the celebration for a later date and consider whether you want to do go ahead and check off the legal part prior to your due date as well.

I had a pretty good planned c section and was up and walking quickly. I remember taking the baby on a train two weeks in to meet friends and feeling like that was a massive achievement. Breastfeeding was also a shitshow so I was triple feeding / pumping / making formula which basically took up every hour of the day.

I can’t imagine hosting a wedding then! I actually wanted to enjoy my wedding day and there would no way that would have happened with the feeding issues we had.

Sorry but it’s nothing to do with attitude! it’s down to complications, surgery, tears etc. What a stupid comment, I ended up back in hospital after my c section because I had nerve damage and 0 feeling that I needed to pee, I guess I should have just sorted out my attitude, got on with it and p*ssed my pants?

I was like you! I had it all planned out in my notes. I cringe now at the memory of me explaining it all to my MIL and her just replying “ok dear”.

When people say that you’re in the trenches those first few weeks they couldn’t be more right. You really don’t know what has hit you.

Try to reschedule it, you may have to take a hit on some of the money, but it will be a lot less now than you would if you have to cancel on the day. They let you go past your due date by 2 weeks before the induce you ( unless medically necessary to do it sooner) so it's likely you won't have had 2 weeks clear before the wedding- you may not have 2 days clear. How you feel after giving birth vary massively, but your boobs will be trying to leak, hormones all over the place, you may still be bleeding which can be very heavy, some people ping straight back to how they where pre pregnancy others bodies do not, so you may feel very uncomfortable with how you look (you shouldn't but it is the reality), it would also make dress fitting harder. You may tear, be cut or have too have a c section. And then there is the baby, my daughter had jaundice so we had to stay in hospital for 5 days so don't just assume you will be able to go home straight away, babies are fussy, they cry when they feel like it and need feeding regularly, you getting married won't stop them, they can have colic and or reflux- a wedding dress with baby sick (or poop) probably isn't the look you are going for! Reschedule so you get to enjoy both, rather than have both ruined for you.

I had two very easy births but two weeks in with both was doing as little as possible other than feeding & sleeping.

Obviously not as easy the 2nd time!

I think you need to rearrange. One of my good friends found out she was pregnant when she was planning her wedding and it went ahead four months after her baby was born. She said it was one of the hardest days of her life because she just wanted to be curled up on a sofa with her baby, but she had to squeeze herself into a dress she found really uncomfortable, her boobs ended up engorged because it was difficult to find time to feed her baby and uncomfortable to do it in her dress and she was exhausted. I'd be speaking to suppliers with a view to bringing your wedding forward 3 months or pushing it back at least six months, but ideally a year.

A first baby, or any baby is a massive life event.

Your wedding is a huge life event.

I don't think you should try to do them both at once, as you risk not enjoying either.

It might be that everything goes perfectly and I hope it does. But as wonderful as it is, but it is also very very unpredictable. You see so many posts on here about people not wanting a lot of visitors in their house right after the birth, because they need time to relax etc.

I think you need to speak to your venue, and suppliers. I can't believe it would do the venue's reputation any good to force a pregnant woman to stick to a ceremony date. There's more than enough time to rearrange and postpone.

Congratuations on your new baby and your wedding, wishing you all the best.

I think you’ve got that the wrong way round - I would say it mostly depends on the birth! Then perhaps the baby, and finally the person.

What some posters consider to be down to attitude is most likely just luck!

OP, I expect you might feel like everyone here is being negative, and that you wouldn't be so weak! I remember feeling like that when people warned me to batch cook and freeze in advance of the birth - I though how ridiculous, of course I'll be able to cook. :-)
However, giving birth left me feeling like I had been hit by a bus... & then beaten up :-(
Hopefully you'll be one of the lucky ones and come out of it unscathed... but as you can see here, it's VERY common to need recovery time.
Congrats by the way. I reckon you should make sure there is time to separately enjoy your baby and your wedding. x

I gave birth to my 3rd baby the day before our friends wedding , i was coping very well considering but no way was i prepared to go to a wedding, home is were you need to be in the hours and first few days after giving birth.

This was exactly me with my first. Also add in badly damaged nipples that bled with each feed. 2 weeks after my due date I think I’d only been out for a short walk using the pram like a zimmer frame and my mums house. I couldn’t have stood up all day without being in a lot of pain. And id had a normal delivery with episiotomy not a c section.

You could be up to 2 weeks overdue. You might end up in hosptial for a few days and miss your wedding. If you have a baby up to 4 weeks old, you'll still be in the throws of bleeding, trying to establish breastfeeding. It hurts to stand up for long periods of time, nipples might be shot.

They're the worst case scenarios. Some people are back on their feet in a couple of days and take it in their stride.

Unfortunately you just won't know until you've had the baby. Personally I'd just want to focus 100% on the baby rather than have a wedding stressing me out for the first few weeks, and id look to rearrange

It won’t work. You have no idea when baby will arrive and even if s/he arrives on the due date how are you going to prepare for a wedding sleep deprived and trying to cope with a newborn weeks before the wedding. I would also imagine the last thing you are going to feel like doing is dressing up and taking photos. I would postpone as this scenario isn’t going to be possible.

No, that was the reality of your postpartum.
Everyone is different.

By contrast, 2 weeks in after my sections:

• no bleeding (after 48hrs it was never worse than a light period and mostly done by day 7, totally gone by day 10)
• no leaking (for my ff baby or breastfed one)
• no pain
• heightened emotions but in a positive way - I felt felt great.
• out every day seeing friends, cafes, trips out. I'd only stay in if I was due a midwife visit, and I'd try to find out if morning or afternoon so I could plan around it.
• I was cooking, baking cakes, hosting friends.

Prepare for potentially being a wreck, so definitely postpone if you can (don't bring it forward in case pregnancy becomes difficult!), but post partum may be awful or it may be amazing. Don't assume either way.

I was a gymnast and competed to a high level. I was very fit and very flexible. I did advanced yoga throughout the pregnancy. I thought I'll manage bouncing on the ball, with minimum pain relief. Ha! After many, many hours and a failed induction and a C-section I was an exhausted wreck.
You may be lucky - I really hope you are, like some of the women on here. However - you may not feel like hosting a wedding, all the same.

With DC2 I had a dream labour and delivery. Left the hospital a couple of hours she was born, popped to Tesco on the way home, genuinely not a bit of bother. Best case scenario type stuff. I still wouldn't have got married 2 weeks afterwards. Leaky engorged boobs, still bleeding, really tired after night feeds. She was also 11 days late so if I had a wedding planned 2 weeks after her due date I would have been 3 days pp. God forbid!

Like most mothers I was completely unprepared for the post partum realities that no one talks about until you’ve been there:
*its like the heaviest period you’ve ever had, changing pads hourly first 24 hours and you bleed 4-8 weeks. Mega huge pads and/or knickers!
*your body is rearranging all the organs pushed out of place and you get cramps!
*night sweats as the hormone changes kick in
*first baby and you are lathering your nipples in lasinoh / second baby the milk was already in and leaking by day 3!
*you are constipated and taking laxatives - I didn’t poo for a week both times
*it hurts to pee (especially if you had stitches) pouring water over yourself to reduce the burn
*a shower feels like the nicest place to remove sweat, sick, blood etc!
*you are beyond tired from not just the 55 hour labour but also the feeding every 2-3 hours, and at night that’s when your milk comes in and the baby gets hungry for the best stuff!

i was also 13 days late, had to be “cut”, had tonnes of stitches, had to sit on a pillow and couldn’t walk for 2 weeks. Second time round I was in the park 2 days later with the toddler!

I don’t think I know a single mother who had a “great” and “timely” first time birth.

so tbh if I were you delay the wedding, or bring it forward to a safe date before delivery, believe me the latter is the better option!

If it gives you confidence, I literally moved my wedding from Tuesday to Thursday with two days' notice. With nine months and a most valid reason, I hope that many suppliers will be understanding, even if you need to move quite some time away/bring things significantly forward. It may not be the same wedding you imagined.

Having children is wonderful, you'll be hit by love you didn't know existed. While childbirth can be beautiful, empowering, natural etc, there's a big chance you'll feel as though you've been hit by a bus and reversed over for good measure. Even if it goes relatively simply, it's a shock the first time. You will be focusing on establishing feeding in the first few weeks and won't want to be separated from baby. You may have a c-section wound, you may have stitches downstairs, you may still have a catheter in, your tummy may be a funny shape...