Due 2 weeks before wedding!

[Colliedogwalker]

Hello,
I have just found out i am pregnant and due 2 weeks before my wedding. Unfortunately wedding insurance dose not help for this and alot has already been paid.
First time mother and needing to know really what its like the first two weeks after. I fully understand everyone is different but i want to be as prepared as possible.

😍

Please listen to the advice on here. Cancel the wedding, you can give plenty of notice if you act quickly. With my first, I was late,.had a failed induction then a C-section. I really couldn't do much socially for a few weeks.
Don't do this to yourself.

This ⬆️

A few days after I came out of hospital I fell over for absolutely no reason other than my centre of gravity was shot to pieces. I (we) were so tired I would wake up in the night looking for the baby (who was in his moses basket) and not register he was there. Honestly, medical issues aside you are all over the place. How will you even know what size dress to get? Theoretically you could get married, but I doubt you would be in a state to remember/enjoy it.

My first came a week early then I was in hospital for a week. My second was two weeks late but I was only in over night. I'm really not sure what the midwife would have said about being asked to do the home visits to a hotel - it is local at least?

I would do my best to bring it forward by a couple of months if at all possible if it were me.

Literally she sounds clueless. She’s in for an almighty shock

You need to change the date. If you deal with it now there is a good chance many suppliers will be flexible, especially given the very valid and understandable reason for the date change, and the financial fallout may be minimal. If you decide to stick with the original date on the basis that it might all be fine, you have a high chance of cancelling at the last minute and getting zero $ back.

Absolutely mad. I was two weeks late with mine so would have been in labour. Your pregnancy might be smooth or it might end with an emergency c section. The dropping of organs I found the hardest thing - I was breathless for a few days so you won’t be able to dance. You’ll be bleeding everywhere and changing your pad every few hours - so I wouldn’t wear white, maybe not even a dress. If you breast feed, which long term is the cheapest and easiest option, you’ll need to be able to feed the baby every hour intially as their bellies are the size of a grape. If you don’t your boobs will leak for weeks and you need to avoid getting mastitis. You might have lots of poos and you don’t want them to get anything. You won’t have slept. You could easily attend a wedding as you have no responsibilities. The problem is you have no idea how your birth will go or if your baby is quiet or loud, cluster feeds or sleeps. Definitely rearrange.

I was convinced I was going to walk home from the hospital after I had DD. I called it being optimistic and positive.

Looking back I think it was a strategy for surely one of the scariest times of your adult life (before having your first child). I also read a lot of stuff about hypnobirthing and breathing through it.

Reader, 2 weeks after my due date I was recovering from major surgery and couldn’t stand up because I was leaking spinal fluid. 3 weeks after my due date I tried to walk to the shop alone and came back crying because it was too physically and emotionally overwhelming.

I don’t know anyone who would be able to do a wedding early postpartum. The hormones alone are a rollercoaster. Add in lack of sleep, and any physical recovery you need… Just stay home. Rearrange the wedding.

It’s not being a doom and gloom, it’s being realistic. Yes you were lucky and were ok for your wedding. That might happen for the op but chances are it won’t. My first baby I wouldn’t have been able to physically, stitches got infected, baby was small and wasn’t feeding properly and having daily midwife visits. My second baby was fine and my birth injuries were fine by 2 weeks so I would have been fine to go ahead with a wedding, but I got pre-eclampsia and was still being monitored in hospital at the 2 week mark so again wouldn’t have been able to. I have friends who had emergency c sections with general, infected wounds, baby with jaundice, pnd, baby losing weight and strict feeding plans and weighings and many other things.

I was still in labour when I was 2 weeks past due date, bay wasn’t born until the next day. Honestly, you’ll have to rearrange. You can’t guarantee anything around a baby’s due date.

congratulations! I hope you can rearrange everything.

I agree with the others, the only reasonable possibility I can see is a planned c section at least a week before due date. It is possible to request induction or c section for social reasons and I know 2 friends who have done this recently.

however, a c section is risky and if you bleed out etc (not uncommon!) you could find yourself with complications which could mean you will still be in a bit of a state 2 weeks later. As another poster said, prime c section scar infection time seems to be about 2 weeks after as well (I had one and couldn’t move for 2 days until the ABs kicked in!)

tbh, what I wouldn’t really worry about is the baby. if they’re clingy as suggested they’ll just have to go to someone else. You obviously wouldn’t ruin your register signing etc because the baby is screaming!

however these are the only ways I’d proceed. It’s just too risky otherwise. I’m sure you will be able to reschedule stuff! I like the idea of bringing it forward 3 months.

This literally happened to me. I was due around a month after my wedding. The baby came on the actual date we originally had booked for the wedding, we laugh at that now. Thank god we pushed it back, as we would have had to travel to the wedding we planned and the doctor looked at my like I was absolutely insane when I asked her how feasible the date would be.

If you are trying to weigh up what it will be like you need to be asking the question about what it will be like 7 days postpartum, not 14. Only 4% of first time mums give birth on their due date. The majority give birth between 40 to 41 weeks and 2 days.

So in all likelihood you’ll have a 7 day old baby clinging to you 24/7, be suffering with stitches, unable to pee or poo comfortably, bleeding, huge rock hard boobs bursting with milk and leaking everywhere, sore cracked nipples and horrifically sleep deprived. And on top of all that, a bit of an emotional wreck.

I wouldn’t consider being a guest at someone’s wedding let alone hosting one.

This time is tough. It’s also very special and I wouldn’t change it for the world. But trust me, all you’ll want to do is nest, not celebrate your wedding.

With my first I was 10 days overdue and ended with an emergency c section so I wasn’t out of hospital until 12 days after my due date. I was on strong painkillers and couldn’t stand up straight because the stitches were still so tight. With my second I got an infected episiotomy and has sepsis and with my third again I had an infected episiotomy so was in awful pain. Baby got out of hospital and was ok for a little while but was then re admitted and was in for a full week. I think you need to rearrange. Childbirth is just so unpredictable. I hope it works out for you x

I got married two months exactly before my first child arrived. Just bring the wedding date forward. We ended up doing this. No big deal.

Obviously I hope you have a lovely easy birth and speedy recovery, many women do. However, many also have all maner of problems / difficulties post birth.

From my own experience and that of friends you could have a late baby and be awaiting induction.

Baby could be on time but you might have post birth complications for example loss of bladder function, infection from retained placenta, require a c section and potential for infection there. You could need an emergency hysterectomy. You might develop mastitis.

Your baby might have post birth complications e.g failure to gain weight and you could actually be readmitted to support baby's weight gain. Baby might have aspirated meconium during birth and still be struggling with respiratory issues. Baby might be colicky or be struggling with allergies etc

These are just a few very common things. I'm sure there are more. Personally my first birth didn't go to plan. I wanted a nice serene water birth. I got a 2 day labour, and assisted forceps delivery.

2 weeks post birth I was still bleeding heavily, my episiotomy which had also torn was infected so I couldn't sit down. My baby was failing to gain weight. My breasts were leaking all over the place and I couldn't stop crying. Bowel movements were still utterly terrifying (even with the iron tablets which caused explosive diarrhea) after my 3rd degree tear. I was a tearful wreck who wasn't getting enough sleep and despite taking iron tablets (for the massive haemorrhage I'd had) still felt crushingly exhausted from the long birth.

I could not have enjoyed anyone's wedding at this point. I did attend someone else's wedding at 8 weeks and didn't feel much better and still looked like a deflated balloon. I spent most of the day outside with my crannky baby and went home to bed at 6pm.

I would move the date. 2 weeks is too soon.

I would absolutely rearrange. Not wanting to be gross but for the first couple weeks my pads resembled a crime scene there was so much blood. Baby will likely want fed little and often so even if you formula feed you’ll have to have plenty bottles prepped etc. You also have the risk of having to have a c section, I remember 2 weeks post c section sitting on a bus feeling like my insides were going to fall out, you would potentially even struggle to do your first dance! Even on the off chance baby comes early, I cannot possibly see a scenario where you enjoy your wedding day that freshly post partum, sorry!

This is the reality of post partum! It’s not pretty! Honestly, please please rearrange!

Not to mention baby may still not have arrived and unfortunately not all births are straightforward you will want to focus on your family at this time, should things not go completely to plan.

Rearrange!!!

Doom and gloomers??? Seriously??
well done on having your child early. What would have happened if you’d have given birth the day of the wedding? You would have lost all the money. Congratulations you had an amazing straight forward perfect birth that fit in with your plans. A lot of mums have awful births, can’t walk properly for ages afterwards, have c sections, even births that don’t come on time! It’s not doom and gloom, it’s reality.

How long is your period cycle normally OP
.mine was generally shorter than average and both of my babies about 5 days early
.

I would also get doing pregnancy yoga.

Keep moving during labour, bounce on a ball, don't have any strong medication, just gas and air, then you'll have baby sooner and recover quicker.

@lovemetomybones it's not "doom and gloom". These are women's experiences. We're sharing them so that the OP can have a realistic idea of what can happen.
If we all said "it was a cake walk, I wallpapered the spare bedroom in the morning, gave birth in the afternoon and wore my size 10 jeans to a cocktail bar in the evening", it genuinely would not help her make a good decision about her predicament.

Congratulations OP! Xxx

However I agree with others, due dates can change and you may barely be out of the hospital. I needed an emergency c section (I was a low risk pregnancy and fit/healthy) and attempted to do a little walk round the block 2 weeks after and nearly fainted, even holding onto the pram and using it as a walker. Xx

Even if things go smoothly the first 2 weeks is sleep deprivation and cluster feeding hell, you really are in the trenches whilst simultaneously your body is recovering from a pretty horrendous trauma. Also from a vanity point of view I still looked very heavily pregnant at 2 weeks post partum and my skin was a mess. 😅

Younger Mums may bounce back quicker though lol.

I went back to work at 6 weeks after a c-section but I had enormous help to do that. My husband stayed home initially on paternity leave and then a nanny started. My mother, an ex nanny herself, was also a great help. I initially stayed in a specialist hospital for convalesing mothers with round the clock midwives so I could sleep through the night and eat restaurant quality meals. I can tell you though at two weeks I fitted nothing other than maternity clothes and I was a size 8 normally, I was still bleeding, crazed with broken sleep, and there is no way I could have kitted myself into a dress and gone to any wedding, let alone my own. My husband was in a comparable state.

Excellent idea, can you pull the date forward by month or two?