i figured i'd ask you guys.
Heres the situation: there are 4 kids in my family, me (24), my brother (20) and my two twin sisters (16). my sisters and i have always been quite good at school/responsible children...we were all class presidents (my twin sisters are president and vice president) on the honor roll you name it, we've got the certificates our parents went to ivy league schools and we were told that ivy leagues were expected of us...so i went to an ivy league, my sisters are more interested in lse/oxbridge...but our grand parents went there so our parents cant really object. (I married a guy who went to ox and it wasn't a big deal) ... so schools for my sisters don't seem like they'll be a big deal either...this is just being said so you know what kind of parents i have.
my brother on the other hand is a complete loser. Being the only boy my parents felt like he needed extra help, even made us do his school work for him because they thought his laziness was due to being a boy and that he would catch up.(he never did)...when we (the girls) were fed up with doing his school work/chores/projects my parents started to bribe him to do his own work...he got a brand new sports car the week after he destroyed the car i spent two years working for (he managed to pull out the engine out from UNDERNEATH) while he stole it during a marijuana spree with his friends...i had been studying at the time).
my sisters and i had to pay for our own cars, i had to pay for my first university degree...in fact (me and the twins) were even encouraged to leave home to learn to be independent when we turn 18...to travel between breaks and explore...
my brother barely graduated high school, has been smoking pot and doing recreational drugs since he's been 12 and says it's because he's depressed...no one understands him...no one loves him. My parents have put him in rehab a total of 7 times in the past 4 years...which is the only reason he's been kept out of jail. He was caught selling 9 yr old children pot when was 12...and now that he's 20 he hasn't even started uni especially because there is no university in the states that will take him. He tried a junior college for a bit but was expelled for cheating and lack of attendance. (the days he went in were days for exams and...he cheated on those days).
My sisters are graduating high school early (1 yr earlier than average) so they can move to London from Texas and go to Uni in the uk because my brothers habits/friends and attitude scares them. (this is completely their own choice)...
My parents (my mother is a medical doctor herself who is actually practicing and my dad is an art history phd who is a stay at home dad ) seem to think that my brother has some sort of illness and his behavior is due to 'self medication'... Although my husband and I have no problem whatsoever taking in my little sisters (the three of us are inseparable anyway) I do have a problem with my parents defending my brothers actions even though I feel like they've contributed to them by letting him be this lazy/stupid.
The real problem however is that my parents want to come for my last month of pregnancy to oversee labor, delivery and they want to stay for a few weeks after that to help me settle into being a mommy. The catch is, that they would bring my brother (who because of his excessive drug use-- not only needs 24 hour supervision but also is violent when he doesn't get things he wants) and they want him to participate in this family process because they say 'it might straighten him out'...
when i told them that this would be overwhelming, unnecessary and intrusive they got defensive...when i told them the truth about how much i don't want my brother around myself, my child or my husband my dad flipped out.
my brother is an incredibly destructive and very manipulative...and my folks don't seem to want to take 'no' for an answer.