Older mums support thread

[Purplebeach]

Hi all
I’m 18 weeks pregnant at 45 with a DD of nearly 3. I thought it would be good to set up a thread for mum’s over 40 (or there abouts) due this summer. It would be great to get support in all things pregnancy related and navigating the early days as an older mum.

The digitals measure from conception rather than LMP, so it's always a couple of weeks behind how pregnant you are, plus they're notoriously unreliable. I really wouldn't count on it or let it worry you 💕

I will try not to worry xx thank you xx - the time between getting that positive pregnancy test and then the first scan seems like a lifetime! Because im an older mum you also worry about that and running out of time to have another baby! xx

Completely understand that 😔 I've been a wreck this whole pregnancy. It's my first (others ended in loss) and I feel it's my last chance, which really adds to the anxiety

How old are you if you dont mind me asking? How many weeks pregnant are you? xx

Not at all. I'm about to turn 38, and 26 weeks pregnant. I've had several years of comments from people implying I've missed the boat or am "obviously happy with just your cat" 😑 and after trying for so long and dealing with past losses, I really didn't think it would ever happen to me. I'm still scared to hope everything will be OK. Xx

Oh my god thats awful! The anxiety in the early weeks after any loss is terrible but after multiple it must be so hard to get excited! Xx

Hi how is everyone doing, anyone still hanging around ?!

i didn’t go ahead with my FET, the timing wasn’t right and I had a few things to resolve in regards to trauma from losses. I’m now in counselling still with hopes of trying before my 45th birthday. Had to step away from here for a bit but I’m back and hoping all is well.

@TTCNO2AT44 hey, I'm still here. How are you doing? It's so hard, I can totally understand what you're going through and I hope you get everything you deserve xx

Hi ladies.
I’ll join this thread, too. I’m 10w4d after de ivf.
45 now. Had few viability scans, but still feels surreal to me.
How’s everyone doing?

Hi ladies. I saw this thread and just wanted to post/say hi. I had a much longed for 2nd baby last year, I was 47. I have an older teen too. It took many years of heartache to have him, but he was worth the wait! I had DE treatment after several unsuccessful OE IVF. I love being an older mum. I don't feel older or act older than any of my new (younger) mum friends. I was worried about people judging me but I've had no negative comments (apart from one person I've known for years and I've distanced myself from her now) and most people have been very surprised when I tell them my age (so I think he's keeping me young!) I thought I'd meet many other older mums but the oldest one I've met so far is (only) 43. So good luck to everyone on this thread. If you have any questions feel free to ask.

@GingerFox2021 congratulations to you! This is lovely news. How are you feeling? The first trimester is tough!

@Theoldestmumintown thank you for coming on here to post! I am 26 weeks after a very difficult fertility journey.... I turned 47 last week and I've been feeling pretty low ever since. It's great to hear some positivity

@bluebella2 thank you.
So not long to go for you? Usually they they induce with twins much earlier, no?
I’d say I feel a bit low, too. Just can’t relax.
I also don’t have anyone to talk to about all this journey, so feeling a bit isolated.

Yep, fertility issues and MCs do reduce your faith in a successful pregnancy… I’m 42, 11+5, had a scan at 8+5 where we saw bean and heartbeat, just had clear NIPT results, but I’m still a bit terrified of my dating scan tomorrow and the chances of actually ending up with a baby in my arms come January….

@curliegirlieGood luck with your scan tomorrow! I’m 42 as well, though 36 weeks pregnant now. I empathise as had major scan anxiety this time round after some losses. I relaxed a little after my 12 week scan, only to start getting myself all wound up and stressed again before my 20 week scan. It’s definitely stressful, but hopefully your early scan and NIPT result have reassured you a bit.

@GingerFox2021 you're nearly at the 12 week mark, you'll feel better every week that goes by. It's such a hard journey.

Yes, I've only 11 weeks left! If I even get to that. They said I won't go past about 37 weeks

Congratulations! I’m also 45, currently 15 weeks and it still doesn’t feel real.

I already have a 12yo from a previous relationship, and met my lovely partner just before my 40th birthday. I had a mmc at 41, then stillborn twins in 2022.

We’ve been told this is another high risk pregnancy, my combined test came back high and we’re only just calming down after good NIPT results and a really positive detailed scan today. We had weekly/fortnightly scans with the twins and we still lost them, literally don’t know how we’ll get through the rest of this year.

Another older mum here, will be 42 when baby comes in Jan

@Geriatrixia I can't imagine how worried you are, I'm so sorry about your previous losses. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well 💞

popping back in to update because always hate it when these stories just stop & you don't know the outcome!

so I had my baby (a little boy) 5 weeks ago. everything went fine, I ended up being induced just on 37 weeks due to age and a small bleed which was probably cervical but they weren't taking any chances, I had the gel and from there labour took 6 hours, I had one stitch & managed with gas & air/pethadine, so all very easy really. I was up and about within hours.

now baby is BFing obsessively, putting on weight and all those good things. I had been worried in case the BFing didn't work but supply seems fine now that it's got going.

so all went well for this 47 year old mum of an unexpected extra baby. his siblings cuddle him obsessively, he barely touches his cot, it's actually so lovely having a new little one again.

good luck to everyone on here xxx

Huge congratulations to you and your family

Huge congratulations, what lovely news!

@CrepituErgoSum congratulations! This is such lovely news! Thank you for letting us know xxx

Congratulations to ladies who had their babies already!
I’m 12+6 today. Had my 12 weeks scan and bloods this week, all well. For me, time goes fast.
I haven’t told news to anyone yet, but I think I’m starting showing, so probably I’ll have to tell the next week.

Congratulations @CrepituErgoSum! So wonderful to hear a happy story from a fellow older Mum.

I’m 21 weeks pregnant with my 2nd IVF baby and will be 45 by the time she is born. Everything is going OK so far although I’m being monitored for a couple of risk factors that are unrelated to my age.

Good luck telling people @GingerFox2021 - I’m 16 weeks now and avoiding telling my team at work, though I’ll need to soon. I already held weight on my tummy after our twins were stillborn so I had a bit of camouflage for a while, but I’ve definitely popped now. Still buying bigger clothes instead of maternity clothes though, which I think is a psychological thing.

We had a good consultant appointment today, high risk this time means scans roughly once a month (rather than once or twice a week with our high risk twins), she wasn’t overly concerned with my low PAPP-A and right now there’s nothing to indicate we need to be worried about pre-term delivery.

Referrals to physio for my old knees 😉and psych to try and keep us at least semi-sane over the next 20ish weeks. Still struggling to believe we’ll actually bring our baby boy home but all the indications are positive for now.