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Original poster

Older mums support thread

112 replies

Purplebeach · 09/03/2025 17:27

Hi all
I’m 18 weeks pregnant at 45 with a DD of nearly 3. I thought it would be good to set up a thread for mum’s over 40 (or there abouts) due this summer. It would be great to get support in all things pregnancy related and navigating the early days as an older mum.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Mrs777 · 30/09/2025 19:08

I’m getting one tomorrow privately nhs said I don’t qualify for it.

Betty4242 · 30/09/2025 19:35

I'm age 42 and am 5 weeks pregnant with my 4th. My others are 5, 4, and 19 months. I am scared silly about a miscarriage. I'm waiting till 12 weeks to contact the Dr but will start aspirin at 12 weeks.

Mrs777 · 02/10/2025 17:42

What kind of numbers did everyone get for their screening tests?

curliegirlie · 02/10/2025 19:50

For my combined test in got 1 in 2,157 for DS. I assume my PAPP A score must have been fantastic, given I was nearly 43 and already have a child with DS!

Mrs777 · 02/10/2025 20:04

curliegirlie · 02/10/2025 19:50

For my combined test in got 1 in 2,157 for DS. I assume my PAPP A score must have been fantastic, given I was nearly 43 and already have a child with DS!

I was told my screening was low risk, but the T21 seems high?

Older mums support thread
PurpleTurtleMoose · 02/10/2025 20:10

I believe anything over 1/150 is classed as 'low risk'. I think I read that as being the cut off, but anyone please do correct me if I'm wrong!

Mine was, I think, about 1/990. Baby did not have DS.

Of course, the numbers will never tell you for sure. I know someone on here was 1/5,000 but did have a child with DS, and similarly I've seen tonnes who got 1/3 odds and in the end no DS.

If you're worried, you could get the NIPT for more reassurance?

Mrs777 · 02/10/2025 20:23

PurpleTurtleMoose · 02/10/2025 20:10

I believe anything over 1/150 is classed as 'low risk'. I think I read that as being the cut off, but anyone please do correct me if I'm wrong!

Mine was, I think, about 1/990. Baby did not have DS.

Of course, the numbers will never tell you for sure. I know someone on here was 1/5,000 but did have a child with DS, and similarly I've seen tonnes who got 1/3 odds and in the end no DS.

If you're worried, you could get the NIPT for more reassurance?

I’ve had the NIPT yesterday as his femurs were measuring shorter and nhs would only give my an amnio which I was scared to get after numerous losses, they said results take 7 working days.

PurpleTurtleMoose · 02/10/2025 20:56

Mrs777 · 02/10/2025 20:23

I’ve had the NIPT yesterday as his femurs were measuring shorter and nhs would only give my an amnio which I was scared to get after numerous losses, they said results take 7 working days.

Show quote history

Ah well done. Yes, the amnio worries me too, so NIPT seems sensible. The odds are already very much in your favour but it'll be good to put your mind at rest

curliegirlie · 02/10/2025 21:20

PurpleTurtleMoose · 02/10/2025 20:10

I believe anything over 1/150 is classed as 'low risk'. I think I read that as being the cut off, but anyone please do correct me if I'm wrong!

Mine was, I think, about 1/990. Baby did not have DS.

Of course, the numbers will never tell you for sure. I know someone on here was 1/5,000 but did have a child with DS, and similarly I've seen tonnes who got 1/3 odds and in the end no DS.

If you're worried, you could get the NIPT for more reassurance?

Yup, with my first, she was 1 in 1,900, but still ended up being that one!

So I had the NIPT with both subsequent pregnancies (low risk for all 3 trisomies). The only reason I also had the combined test this time when I’d already had the NIPT, was because my MW wanted it for the PAPP A level (which incidentally wasn’t passed on with my results 🤷‍♀️)

Breadhome · 17/09/2026 17:08

Picking up on this old thread and looking for advice/experience please… I’m married and have a 6 years old DS. We have always had issues in our marriage and it’s been getting worse year by year. I got pregnant again last year when I was 40. Husband didn’t want a second child and we had serious arguments throughout my pregnancy. Unfortunately I had a uterus infection and lost the baby in late trimester. I felt my husband was just not there through out the whole thing. I didn’t feel any empathy or compassion from him afterwards. We are in the process of separation now. I have always wanted 2 children and my will to have a second child has only grown stronger after the loss. I’m considering using donor sperm. But I’m also worried about being a single mom of 2, esp with the younger one not sharing the same dad. Based on what we have discussed between my husband and me, I do not expect him to share much parental responsibility on my older one except child maintenance fees. Am I crazy even thinking about a second one at my age and using donor sperm? Or am I overthinking this?

TinyPea123 · 17/09/2026 22:37

I love this thread ... can I please join to hear your stories. Im 40 and on cycle 5 TTC. I do have 4 older children 18,16,13,11 plus previous stillbirth.

Have been keeping everything crossed for another 🙏

dubkitten · 18/09/2026 08:32

Welcome @Breadhome and @TinyPea123.

it is definitely possible, I conceived using a donor when I was 41 and gave birth at 42, currently have a 8 month old babbling away beside me!

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