Older mums support thread

[Purplebeach]

Hi all
I’m 18 weeks pregnant at 45 with a DD of nearly 3. I thought it would be good to set up a thread for mum’s over 40 (or there abouts) due this summer. It would be great to get support in all things pregnancy related and navigating the early days as an older mum.

Hey everyone! I hope you're all doing well. I'm now 11 weeks and feeling a bit less anxious that's we've got this far. I had a private scan on Wednesday and both babies are doing well. I can't wait to find out gender!

Congrats @bluebella2 - I felt the same as I got closer to 12 weeks too, it definitely feels like an important milestone. I’m 21 weeks now so had my 20 week scan - started to get a bit anxious again before it, but thankfully everything went well and it was confirmed we’re having a girl. Just can’t wait to feel some proper movements now - I have an anterior placenta so have only felt very sporadic flutters so far and even then it could just be wind 😅

hope everyone’s doing ok!

@DejaMooo oh wow congratulations that's such lovely news. Did you have any guesses she might be a girl? I'm secretly hoping for one of each but will be happy either way

@bluebella2 No, no idea at all. We have a 4 year old daughter and so love that she’s going to have a little sister. It’s taken a long time to get here and we had some losses along the way, so genuinely would have been over the moon either way. Definitely more convenient though as we still have boxes and boxes of my daughter’s old clothes 😅

Do you think you’ll be able to wait til the 20 week scan to find out, or will you book an early scan? Twins are so exciting - I hope you’re over the shock of it 😄

I’d love to joint the thread too. I am 44 and tested positive last week after IVF. I already have an almost 3 year old and had GD and a breach baby with my first which sounds very similar to the OPs situation.

Hi ! I'm 44 aswell and waiting on FET next week. I'm terrified, apprehensive, still dont know if I'm going the right thing, but know I'll regret never trying one last time. After 2 losses in 2022, I just felt I had to go back for our last embryos. How was your treatment? We have two embryos left but I think I only want to try the once x

Also hoping I’ve made the right decision! My treatment was with donor eggs (so similar to an FET) and I found it much easier than previous IVF with my own eggs although with added anxiety since we don’t have money to try further. We were lucky enough to get a few embryos to freeze as well although I’m not sure how much longer we would keep going if this pregnancy doesn’t go full term. Feel like I am close to a self-imposed age limit as well as a financial limit.

Hi! 42, just found out I'm expecting. Had an early miscarriage last year so I'm anxious, about everything!!, my age if things go well, heartbreak again if it doesn't, how I'll manage my job, ect, ect.
There seems to be a lot of negativity for over 40s so just looking for some positivity 🙂

@Anothertomorrow You’re in good company! I’m also 42 and ticking over nicely at the moment.
There’s lots of positives to take from being over 40 though.

Good Luck

Thanks.
My last "baby" is 10 and I thought I was well and truly done!
Congrats on your pregnancy x

My only one so far is 19!
Genuinely didn’t think I’d be going back to this, but here I am

Hope everyone is feeling good? I'm in my second trim and feeling great now, it's almost hard to remember how awful I felt in the first! The puking and fatigue was so awful, I am expecting to slow down in the third as everything gets heavy but I remember the first being the worst for DD. x

Hi everyone, can I join you?
I'm 41 and 7 weeks with my 3rd.
A few previous miscarriages but in none of them was I sick like this so I'm taking it as a good sign.
I'll be 42 when they're born. I have an 18 yo and a 2.5 yo

Hey all.... we're still here too! Officially 26 weeks tomorrow and finally less sick and more awake. I've booked a private gender scan for this Sunday! Hoping both are still doing well x

Hello,
Just signed up. I’ve just had my first child at 45, just short of my 46th birthday. It was a spontaneous pregnancy and my partner and I had almost given up. I had a healthy pregnancy and DD is doing well.
It’s wonderful to read all the positive comments. Hope everyone is doing well x

@Sewing45 congratulations! That's fantastic! I hope you're all doing well 🙂 did you have any ivf or anything?

I've just realised my last post says 26 weeks and should have said 16. I'm having a boy and girl and I'm 18 weeks tomorrow...

Thank you. I hope everything is going well with you. It was a spontaneous pregnancy which was a wonderful surprise. We’re doing really well thanks.
Apart from some age related risk factors which didn’t materialise which were highlighted during my pregnancy, everything went smoothly. I thought my age would be a thing, but the midwife said there are lots of women in their 40s having children. The only thing that made me feel awkward was feeling old in the ultrasound waiting room. All the other people were so young!

@Sewing45 I know what you mean! I felt like the oldest person in the waiting room last week.

I just hope I can fit in with other mums when the babies are here! Does anyone else worry about that?

Hi! Still here too 👋🏻 glad everyone’s doing well. I’m 28 weeks tomorrow so heading into the third trimester. I’m feeling good - just usual pregnancy stuff like raging heartburn and feeling a bit more tired, but mostly just because I keep waking up during the night. Something that has annoyed me though is that 3 separate people have said something along the lines of “well you’re older than you were with the last one” when I’ve mentioned being tired. I don’t think it’s anything remotely to do with my age and maybe I’m being sensitive but it feels a bit like a dig

Really wish there was a younger mums support thread, this would be brilliant for younger mums who felt they needed support too.

@DejaMooo great to hear all going well for you. I'm also getting a few comments. It's wierd that people think they can say what they like when you're pregnant 🤣

@Glammami anyone can create a thread so you could make one

congratulations @Sewing45 ! The best news! I had my first at 43 and am due another soon at 45. I'm in an area of London where its not unusual for mums to be in their late 30s and few early 40s but I do feel self conscious about it and I know that people judge (which I understand) however I seem to have made new mum friends easily. I am a bit worried about moving home soon out of London which we will need to do soon for space as presumably then I will stick out more! At the end of the day women's fertile years are quite long aren't they, from teens to early to mid 40s so people just have to suck it up and realise there is a big variation!

Morning :) I am 42 and 4 weeks and 6 days pregnant! I had my first baby when i was 39. We had a MMC the year before he was born.
I don't know whether or not its because i am that little bit older but i cant seem to shake that fear this time around! I have booked a reassurance scan at the end of June, ill be 9 weeks. I didn't want the added stress of going at 7 weeks for it not to be quite where it should be etc and cause me more anxiety! Our MMC stopped developing at 7 weeks and a few days so i feel anything before that wouldn't settle my nerves!

Congratulations @VanessaShanessaJenkins99 - and totally understand the fear. I’m 42 as well and it’s only really now I’m in the third trimester I’ve relaxed a bit. I was so anxious before my 12 and 20 week scans. Totally different experience to when I had my daughter. I think for me it was a combination of knowing what can go wrong after having had some losses, and also feeling like this is my last chance. Hoping all goes well with your scan and wishing you a very healthy pregnancy 🤞🏻

So i took another weeks digital this morning - i should be 5 weeks exactly and its still saying 1 - 2 weeks :( I am so upset. I dont know where to go from here - do i just wait it out? Surely in the next few weeks if it isnt progressing then i will start to bleed?