Due February 2025 - Thread 5: IT'S TIME

[UrbanSquirrel]

Creating this as a space to continue the Feb 2025 chat - quite frankly it's all starting to feel very, very real right now!

@UncharteredWaters we used love to dream swaddles for newborn- definitely under 8lbs.

@Hhdxx don't be hard on yourself, your doing an amazing job and you've had a really challenging pregnancy, birth and a terrible tragedy in the past to deal with! I think your a super woman. I don't know about everyone else, especially the mums who are doing this for a second/third time etc, but I'm starting to think babies are a case of winging it largely, at the end of the day they are all so different and we just adapt to their needs as best we can.
Sleep issues sound similar to what we had, we have a prescription for antacid, and are also using infacol to help pass wind. At best I get a 3/3.5 hour stretch but a few weeks ago I barely got any sleep between night feeds. I also realised that a lot of the time during the night when he's making his crazy noises he's asleep (or I'm pretty sure he is) eyes are closed but he's straining or throat clearing. So I've been teaching myself to sleep through it. Playing 'pink noise' helps him sleep and now it also helps me sleep as it stops me from being hyper vigilant (to the point where it's irrational) over all his noises.

I get up if he escalates for example starts to cry or if his eyes are open 😊

@SBelfast I am just so irrational. I okay brown noise but I can hear every tiny sound and just can't sleep through it. He is awake at least every hour. He just won't sleep in his basket 🤣 how do you function on no sleep x

@Hhdxx it's normal to be anxious but if your at the point where your irrationally anxious I'd really recommend speaking to someone. I currently am, have a mental health support worker and seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist all because of my postpartum depression (now lifted) and anxiety (was anxious before pregnancy). I find it really helpful, I've had anxiety a long time though and OCD so I know when I'm checking/rechecking if he's breathing what exercises I should be doing to stop checking, not that I always do them haha. It's a work in progress.
Of course the sleep deprivation makes anxiety worse (remember sleep deprivation is a form of torture in some countries!!) and it's a vicious cycle!

I do not function on very little sleep, personally it's an achilles heel! It makes my mood drop and anxiety and OCD pop right up. To cope with it I just tried to get any naps where I could even if short, and ate lots of comfort food and watched things I liked on tv. If had energy got out for a walk and fresh air. I think the only way to really cope for me is just to go with the flow and minute by minute lol and remember 'this too shall pass'! :)

We have vaccines this Wednesday and I was stressing out so much about the inevitable temperature and a bad 24/48 hour period after but I'm currently stockpiling snacks, will get some good shows lined up and try to 'make the most' of no sleep haha. I have no idea how people do it all with another child/children! I have mad respect for parents now!!

Can you sleep in shifts whilst one of you holds the baby? If your partner puts the baby in a sling or rocks them they might manage a longer stretch. We used to swap at 3am with our first and dad just held her after that (he was awake) so I could get enough sleep to stay sane.

Also if he's struggling on his back I'd really recommend some cranial osteopathy, it made both my babies more comfortable.

How long is everyone up for in the night? Feeding and changing seems to almost take longer than during the day, somehow, despite taking short cuts...

I feed on one breast, burp/hold upright, change, then feed on the other, burp/hold upright, then settle her again. She has long feeds (30 mins+ a side), so I'm typically up for 1.5-2hrs. Not sure I can get this time down, short of capping her feeds - but then she probably wouldn't sleep as long.

@QuantumPanicim usually awake for about an hour - an hour and a half total to feed, burp, keep upright and change if needed. I try and peek in his nappy to check if it’s dirty or just wet and if it’s not dirty and not too wet I’ll leave it til the next feed so as not to wake him up too much. He tends to feed for max 20 mins and then I’ll do 15 mins burping / upright then settling. I tend to find once I’ve done all that I’m quite awake so it sometimes takes me a wee while to get back to sleep. It’s much better when my partner is home because I just hand the baby to him after his feed and get back to sleep !

@superj21 Thanks, glad to see it's not just me being super slow - although obviously I am quite slow!

@QuantumPanic my good nighttime feeds (not common) are 50 mins at best, I'm on average 90 mins and can be 2 hours also!
I find I'm a bit slower doing everything and then takes me longer getting him well enough settled to take him back into the bedroom, a few times I've brought him back in and he's kicked off and it feels more disheartening for me having to get out of bed again than it does staying out if that makes sense 😂

@SBelfast I've come to the same conclusion. Better to hold her for another 10 minutes than try to put her down too soon and risk having to repeat the whole cycle.

@SBelfast @QuantumPanic
for me it totally depends on his mood. Usually he doesn’t feed for very long about 10 minutes but he can go for up to 30. Then there are nights he’ll just pass out and burp in his sleep and I’ll be done in half an hour. But then there are nights he will not settle so I walk kilometres up and down the tiny room that is the nursery before he sleeps and we return to my bedroom. Not to mention if I change the diaper and then he pees on the changing station. Or I close the diaper and he pops right after. It can take 2 hours.

Has anybody's baby had a cold or cough? My little one has a dry cough and isn't feeding as well. His temp is ok. Just wondered if there were any recommendations xxx

Poor little lamb.
No cough here but he's been quite nasally congested and snotty. I really recommend the sterimar breathe easy baby spray for that. It flushes everything out and makes an instant difference to his breathing (and therefore feeding much easier too)
Hope he feels better soon. Xx

Yep we have a cold here passed from her snotty big brother. No cough at the moment but very congested. I'm also using the sterimar baby spray which helps and also a snot sucker to try and help. A humidifier may work too works wonders when DS has a cough.

I don't think there's much more you can do apart from feeding regularly and getting checked out if it gets worse.

@Onthedouble123 @elb1504 thank you! Will try that

His temp went up to 37.53 earlier so panicked!!

@SBelfast @Hhdxx your babies are straining, and moving a lot their arms and legs while sleeping and making lots of noises too? It's just my baby girl does it from week 3. We thought it was colic, then wind, the HV suggested reflux or lactose intolerance, de GP suggested reflux. Anyway, we've used infacol now we're with gripe water + gaviscon infant and comfort milk from cow and gate. We also feed her with the bottle horizontal (at her pace) burp her regularly (not much coming out now, she used to have massive burps and darts) keep her upright around 30 mins after feeds and she's still the same. We've got 2 weeks where she improved (6-8 weeks) and now (8 weeks) she regressed making those noises again. I started thinking if it's something neuronal (infant spams) or it's just gas. She usually is like that during/after feeds or evening/nights

I've showed videos to GP and pediatrician and they just say 'it seems in discomfort' but more the sounds she produces is the fact that she moves legs and arms. Are yours the same?

@Piluka sorry to hear she sounds uncomfortable! Yes we have similar. Arms and legs go when he's straining to go to toilet and it seems uncomfortable, but thinking that's maybe just the way it will be until digestive system and pooping muscles more specifically develop? 😂

Noises we have although he's definitely improved with both noises and movements. We have lansoprazole prescribed and it definitely seems to be helping. I also use infacol with feeds to help pass wind. Maybe speak to your GP about trying lansoprazole? We had our postnatal checks and vaccines yesterday and our GP was saying she used it and was very good, she accidentally switched to a different brand at one point and it got worse.
@Hhdxx just to saw often our little one has a dry cough and sneezes but I think his is all linked to the reflux.

We have a referral to paeds for a lower back dimple to check for spina bifida (not worried as been checked already by paed friend) and a paeds eye consultant as one eye was funny in check up so bit worried about that!
Was so anxious about the vaccines aftermath but it's not been as bad as I thought, followed the instructions to proactively administer calpol. Still a temp and out of sorts but on the mend I think!

We are 9 weeks and starting to see smiles. I asked GP and she confirmed if your baby was premature or pre-term use a corrected number of weeks when tracking developmental milestones, so we'd be 3 weeks behind. Just sharing in case anyone else starts to worry about similar!

@Piluka Is it possible it's just normal active sleep? My baby is like this when she's snoozing lightly in her cot in the second half of the night.

Baby is six weeks old today and so long! Hitting the limit of some of the 0-3m sleepsuits and looking pretty crowded in the moses basket. 😱 Have had a few emotional crises about how quickly she's growing up. 🥲

@SBelfast Hurrah for the baby smiles! We are getting lots of lovely grins - I spend most of my day making exaggerated smiley faces at her (and the remainder of it trying to dig the cheese out from between her fingers 😂).

@SBelfast Your comment got me curious so I looked it up - so interesting that prem babies hit milestones later and overdue ones hit them early. I guess that means everyone's exactly to schedule!

@SBelfast @QuantumPanic thanks for your reassurance 💕.

@SBelfast I'll ask my GP about lansoprazol. I was irrational thinking about the neuronal fact (my bf was telling me I was a little bit paranoid, but I was just worried.)

@QuantumPanic she's more prone to have that after second part of the night as well. However, she also does this after feedings and so far I thought it was trapped wind but searching in Google (don't do that because you'll end up like me, worried for any minuscule thing.) and ended up with some videos and I thought maybe my baby was very bad but knowing there are more mums with babies in similar conditions makes me feel much better. I mean, I don't feel so lonely with this. 😣

Regarding sizes, it's strange how much change from brand to brand sizes. I have clothes up to 1 month they still fits her (obviously not baggy and won't fit for long) and others are to small for her (as it should be) and others 0-3 or up to 3m they fit perfectly or start being tight. And others are humongous. Most of the problems I have is, body is too wide but short compare to my baby, or sleepsuits that everything is fine except the feet part, where they're a little bit short. (maybe my little one is a bigfoot after all hahahah) moses basket she still fits in but in a month or so we'll have to think for another way to have her sleeping in the living room.

@Pilukawe are in the exact same boat! Went to the doctor today and was prescribed gaviscon infant but it doesn’t sound like this worked for you so I’m not feeling too hopeful.

In case anyone's not aware, I just found out that to get funded nursery hours from 1 February onwards in 2026, we'd need to have gone back to work by 31 January:

Netmums article

If you return to work between 1 October and 31 January, your funded childcare can start from 1 January
If you return to work between 1 February and 30 April, your funded childcare can start from 1 April.

I went on mat leave second week of Feb and was planning to go back 1 year later, so I'm hoping to move my return to work date to January now. Could have had some extra time with my feet up 🙃

@SBelfast we have also been referred to paeds ophthalmology as the gp said that the red reflex was slightly pale in both eyes. Stressing a bit!

@MyHappyNewt same! I spent the day with my friend who's a senior doctor paediatrician so was talking to her about it. She said sometimes it can just be hard for the doctors to properly see the eyes to do that test when the baby's moving etc. A proper eye paed will dilate the pupils and get a proper look.
She said if congenital cataracts would be corrective surgery and she made it sound like it's not that big a deal. I found it quite reassuring although ofc if I think too much about any aspect of it then it still remains stressful! But anyway maybe we should try not to worry about it in case there's nothing even to worry about. And if there is will be in good hands to get it sorted.
Do you have an apt yet? Xo

@SBelfast that sounds reassuring - thanks for sharing. My mind just jumps to the worst case scenario with things like this. No appt through yet as we only had the check on Fri but hoping to hear back soon. They said within four weeks? Do you have an appt through yet?