Due February 2025 - Thread 5: IT'S TIME

[UrbanSquirrel]

Creating this as a space to continue the Feb 2025 chat - quite frankly it's all starting to feel very, very real right now!

My DD is formula fed, yeah we've been using infacol every now and then but it doesn't really help constipation more wind but may help discomfort. Also there's gripe water if baby is over a month.

We ended up with 3 poos today! He was obviously just storing it up!

@Onthedouble123 well done!!! I wish mine would xxx

Hey, i did with my first, it started small but noticeable when he was born then got bigger and redder (and raised just like you've described) but it never bothered him it was just one if those things. Disappeared completely by age 3/4, left no trace. Hope that is reassuring

My 4 week old DD just went a day without pooing, she seemed really uncomfortable and in pain straining 🙁, usually does 1 per day at least so was quite worried like you.

Was going to call GP this afternoon but she ended up doing 3 poos today already. Not sure what happened but we use Dentinox (helps with her wind), and have been rocking her on my lap with my knees up which is her usual magic poo position (ive attached a screenshot)😅. DD is formula fed and the ready made bottles apparently help get things moving down there too if you haven’t tried that?

Thanks. Yes after the first day I noticed it was bigger and redder it didn't change any further. So hopefully it will stay as is until id disappears!

One of the midwives at the hospital told me that you shouldn’t worry unless the baby’s gone 48 hours without a dirty nappy if that gives anyone reassurance.
i agree that the ready made formula gets things moving. We use this in combination with regular formula and we usually get at least two poos a day.
Unfortunately I’m not able to breastfeed. Had trouble getting milk at the beginning, it came in on day 5 and as I was on antibiotics and caused my baby to have an upset stomach I stopped combi feeding. Now i just don’t have enough and on second course of antibiotics. I have terrible guilt because all the other mums i know breastfeed :(

@CharliePoppins @ThisLimeDeer it's so hard. He's gone over 2 days without a poo. I just don't understand why he's not really pooping? We were combi feeding and still are. I express milk, breastfeed and has about 2 bottles of formal a day. I'm not really sure what to do 😳 When we took him doctors, they weren't really bothered about him not pooing.
I'm currently trying infacol and colief too. He does strain a lot but nothing comes out. When he does poo, it's not hard so not sure whether he's constipated?
This is all very stressful!
He's 4 weeks today. X

@ThisLimeDeer I've also been on antibiotics which is what they thought had caused this problem but I've been off them since last Thursday x

@Hhdxx I hope you get him moving soon. HV came yesterday and when I told her we'd gone 3 days last week she said it can be normal in the early days as their digestive system adapts to working on the outside.
@ThisLimeDeer No guilt. You're doing your best and they will genuinely thrive on either 💕 xx

@Hhdxx what formula are you using? Could it be some kind of an intolerance? Also has your midwife/health visitor shared any advice?

How's everyone doing?

I've gone from having a very sleepy baby to having a 24hr party person. She will not sleep for longer than 2hr at a time and spends most of her time from around 6pm - 8am screaming. She's very gassy, but hates being winded (regardless of the method) so I'm slightly at a loss. Hoping it's a very short phase, BC I am shattered.

@ThisLimeDeer It's so hard. I've also had two courses of antibiotics - my baby now has thrush and is constantly pooping (9 sizeable poos yesterday!!). On the flip side, I feel guilty for not switching to formula and saving my baby the GI distress, but I just don't think I could hack bottle prep on top of everything else. Zero judgement re packing in the breastfeeding - save your sanity! Hope things improve for you soon. 💕

I'm sure i read something that at 4 weeks their digestive systems are changing and adapting to being able to poo as a response rather than a reflex and we went 4 days around this time without a poo but now at 6 weeks it's evened itself out and some days we have 2 poos sometimes it's 48 hours without one.

@ThisLimeDeer Don't feel guilty, I'm formula feeding as I had issues breastfeeding and I did with my DS1 and he's a thriving 4 year old! As they say you can't pick out a breastfed or formula fed child so it's not the be all and end all.

@QuantumPanic We also have a lovely witching hours at similar times, it's a known thing and it doesn't last forever but is very frustrating and tiring! We have to walk around as she won't let us sit down!

Yes @QuantumPanic idk if we can call ours a velcro baby yet but he sleeps really well as long as it's on our chests! In his crib, not so much. I was wondering if I should be letting him sleep so much in the daytime as it becomes party time at night.

He's started cluster feeding again the last couple of days, normally I feel completely fine with it but I was actually verging on annoyed, with myself as well as the situation. I tried to nap around 6pm on Sunday and he was literally feeding for 4 hours. Then again yesterday evening I think he went almost 3 hours breastfeeding. No issues with supply since he was born even though he was small and had jaundice (no lamp needed) otherwise I would have supplemented with formula immediately. But I was thinking he can't even be getting much milk to be feeding for so long...? DH then gave him a bottle with my pitiful bits of haakaa milk, he settled, then we had dinner finally at twenty past midnight 🤡 then DH took him overnight, I went to bed past 1am and he gave him one formula feed, then I had him back for a feed at 6.45.

He also didn't have a dirty nappy all morning until this afternoon then it was the worst I've seen apart from his meconium one, just more solid and loads of it. Maybe the change to his diet idk.

I've struggled with not wanting to introduce formula until now (apart from one feed in the birth centre when I was told I had 'rusty pipes' in the colostrum stage so pumped and dumped) because our baby hasn't needed it so it's just been a question of me needing the break overnight. And that's felt like either I feed him myself which I can do and he's been happy and healthy that way so far, or do I crack and introduce it because I'm not being resilient enough. Though introduced it last night thinking baby needed it therefore no question it's fine.

Is anyone else combi feeding? I've just had a manual pump delivered and not sure how to go about pumping to build a stash or pumping to replace a feed entirely. I don't want my supply to be affected but desperate for more sleep so we want DH to be giving him more bottle feeds overnight.

Also DH read something about week 3 being a tough week with more cluster-feeding, did anyone find similar?

@ridl14 i found three weeks tricky with the cluster feeding! We’re now four weeks and still cluster feeding a bit in the afternoon, which always coincides with toddler witching hour here 🤪

@ThisLimeDeer I'm using kendamil. Only giving 2 bottles a day.

@QuantumPanic I am very jealous your baby sleeps for 2 hours! Mine literally won't go down for more than 10 minutes in the moses basket. Still doing shifts with husband. It's hard.

@ridl14 our baby is the same regarding sleeping on chests. He's 4 weeks and I feel like I've created a problem as he won't go down now for sleeps. I'm also combi feeding. How are you doing it? Baby is sooo gassy and not sure of its formula or my milk causing it! X

@ridl14 we've had some cluster feeding too, but if I were you I wouldn't worry about your supply. Everything I have read sounds like this is pretty normal and baby nurses for comfort not just hunger. Does he feed from both sides in one sitting?

I know you said he only had a dirty nappy in the afternoon, but other than that does he usually have plenty of wet and dirty nappies and is he gaining weight? I think that's the indicator as to whether they are getting enough.

I don't combi feed but I have been pumping on a low setting (not every day but that's just because of logistics) for about 10 minutes which gives me 60-90ml at a time. I am trying to avoid over pumping / engorgement. We tried one evening of my partner bottle feeding expressed milk to check he would take it (he did!) so I am trying to build a stash primarily for occasions where I need to be away from him.

@superj21 ah thank you that's reassuring it can just be for comfort! It depends on the sitting, I offer both unless he's passed out milk drunk already. Do you always swap sides with your little one?

Yes plenty of wet and dirty nappies, above the minimum we should apparently see. Our next HV visit is tomorrow but he's gained weight well at the other checks and the HV/midwives have said he looks well hydrated.

The pumping sounds great! I've just got a manual pump to start with but trying to figure out when to pump without affecting my supply for normal feeds. I heard something about pump after feeding within 15 mins of a feed to build a stash. Otherwise I've been using my haakaa to get little bits for a stash but it's taking ages to get enough for one feed just with letdown.

Are you coping well feeding at night so far? I really want some kind of regular bottle feed from DH just to get a bit of a stretch of sleep, I've passed out more than once while feeding side-lying. DH can take him overnight but it's really broken sleep with the breastfeeding.

@Hhdxx they love sleeping on chests! Wish I could do it and sleep, I love the snuggles as well. My SIL said my nephew would only sleep on their chests in shifts from 6 weeks until they broke the habit at about 4 months but they needed outside help for it. But I think they're too small for it to be a bad habit now? The midwives all said you can't spoil a baby, he's in the 4th trimester etc so I'm not sure. We still put him down as much as we can but he needs to basically not know we're doing it. A friend saw a sleep consultant for her twins and apparently got advised to hold them until they pass out and then put them down so I'm doing that still! Until he wakes up. But he can literally go for hours asleep as long as he's being held in the daytime.

So far we've mostly been breastfeeding, saving some letdown with the haakaa for the odd night bottle feed but DH gave a formula feed the night before last and last night. Last night it didn't even buy any more sleep as I was pumping at 1am so my supply didn't get affected, then he wanted to feed again about 2am, 4am etc. I'd prefer to find a way to pump for one bottle feed a day but just finding it tricky to figure out!

Our baby was really gassy after his first bottle feed, it's a slow release bottle but DH started giving him breaks so not all at once, and trying to wind him in between and he's been fine since. After the formula bottle the night before last he did throw up on me which is unusual for him. My friend's baby got very refluxy from formula as well so switched to just breast milk but it prob depends on the baby!

Kind of relieved to hear lots of people are in the same boat. We're also cluster feeding - sometimes I don't mind, but when it's 3am and baby has been on since midnight, I do feel some rage/despair.

I thought we were making progress with feeding BC a week or so ago she was very efficient, popping herself off after 10-15 mins. But as of this week she's back to spending 30-50 mins on a single breast. 😞

@Hhdxx The two consecutive hours usually happen during the day when she's in the sling. At night in the cot I'm lucky if she's down for 45 mins. I spend most of the night sitting on the sofa nursing and shushing and trying not to fall asleep!

We're doing safe chest sleeping and cosleeping, it's absolutely saving us. This account has great info https://www.instagram.com/p/DD7L-2lt0rh/?igsh=N291M3F6NHBpbmR4

Also @QuantumPanic figuring out side lying is a process we're still in but it's been helpful when I can't stay awake.

@ridl14 I offer both but he's usually passed out after one 😂 my health visitor said to always offer both. If he's having plenty of nappies though I really wouldn't worry! We are the same - definitely above the recommended amount 😂. You've probs already seen it but the La Leche League is a really great source for breastfeeding guidance: laleche.org.uk/is-my-baby-getting-enough-milk/

I try using the hakaa too but don't usually get very much! I've got a second hand tommee tippee battery breast pump which does the job 😊

Luckily, he doesn't usually cluster feed at night and we can usually get 3 hours in between feeds (and even then it ends up with me being awake for an hour and a half minimum to change, feed, burp etc so I can only imagine how you're feeling if he's feeding more frequently overnight!). My partner unfortunately works away so now his paternity leave is over me and the wee guy are flying solo during the week. Last night was tough, I was up from 2am cos he had trapped wind so I defo feel you with the sleep deprivation! I just remind myself this is just going to last for a short amount of time and I'll never get these days back when he's this little so just trying to roll with it.

@QuantumPanic I could have written your post! Sorry for your broken sleep but it's nice to feel less alone in it! I feel less annoyed than I thought I would with the cluster feeding (as in to how I would have thought I would react pre-baby) but sometimes it is just pushing it! Sore nipples and head down for 10 minutes before he's hungry again 🙃 love him to bits and love feeding him but it's those tough moments at night.

@MaiaForEmperor amazing resource!! Instinctively I really feel like chest sleeping is safe but it's been making my husband very nervous. I do feel like I'm aware, baby has nowhere to fall, I can feel his breathing and he can feel mine and my heartbeat. Thanks for this! Side lying also saves me at night - I have passed out while feeding but in the cuddle curl. Even just feeling a bit more rested and knowing the baby is safe on his back if I am feeding while tired is a godsend.

@superj21 wow you are a superhero doing it solo overnight! That's incredible honestly. I'm at least just doing the feeding and skipping nappy changes between maybe midnight/1am and 6.30ish. Gosh with the trapped wind as well 💐 you're doing amazing! I'm trying to remember similar, he's going to be 4 weeks this weekend which I think is half the time he's a newborn 😭 and 5 months until we start introducing solids as well.

That's really helpful! I'm going to try and go to my local support group too. I've been able to pump a bit more this morning so that's helped. I think an electric pump like you say might be the way to go! Last night I was trying to feed the baby one side and manually pump on the other which was a mare 😂 never felt like such a dairy cow. My HV said to always offer both sides as well though the midwives in the birth centre I had aftercare in said offer both if he wants it so I think it's fine if they pass out! He is so funny going from face planting my boob to passed out looking delirious.

Also quick question - has anyone considered dummies and what are the pros and cons for you? I'm currently not that keen but also aware little one is probably using my nipples as a dummy some of the time so idk if it's something we should consider.

On a more fun note than the sleep deprivation - what does your baby smell of to you? To me he's sweet, slightly nutty milk/yoghurt but my best friend recently said she thinks he smells of Christmas spices.

We use a dummy sporadically just to help calm or help her get off to sleep (daytime mostly) works great for us but DD is bottle fed.

My DS1 had a dummy until he was 2.5 and it helped massively with toddler sleep but when they need them to sleep and keep spitting it out and can't put it back in themselves it causes a lot of wake ups.

When we have a ‘scream for no discernible reason’ moment the dummy is a lifesaver. Totally settles her and then falls out when she’s asleep happily.
Not caused any issues with breast/bottle feeding so far. We bought one for tiny mouths and that might be a help as she was very small.