Due February 2025 - Thread 5: IT'S TIME

[UrbanSquirrel]

Creating this as a space to continue the Feb 2025 chat - quite frankly it's all starting to feel very, very real right now!

We were trying to hold off on using a dummy. Kept it as a kind of nuclear option. One night when she was screaming inconsolably I thought, "this is it, time to bust it out". Gave it to her fully expecting a miraculous cessation of crying and she spat it out straight away. 😅 Have tried repeatedly since but she just rejects it.

@ridl14 I would say milky and yeasty. Like a brioche or a panettone. Her poos smell quite nice??

@ridl14 yeah I am definitely missing having him here and counting down to the weekend ! We are the exact same stage, my boy if 4 weeks on Friday 🥰. Hopefully the support group helps! I know what you mean about feeling like a cow though 😂 I don't usually bother trying to pump while feeding because even with the electric I don't feel like I'd have enough hands so I can imagine it's even move difficult with the manual 😂 did you have some success with it though 😊? Hope you had a better night and managed to get some sleep!

@ridl14 on the dummy point, I have considered it but also am not massively keen on it (but also know I am being used for comfort too!). I'm holding off just now because I don't want my milk supply to be impacted. Not to preach from the La Leche League but they have some good info about it from the breastfeeding perspective. I think if I do use it I will keep it for emergencies - like yesterday when we got stuck at temporary traffic lights for ten minutes and he lost his mind in the car because we'd stopped moving 😂

@ridl14 @superj21 what is the reason for offering both breasts for each feed? Asking because my midwife actually advised the opposite. Keep on one breast. Feed from the same one even if baby asks again too soon- in the same hour. The reason according to her is to get to the hind milk and offer the “full meal” and all of the spectrum of different nutrient containing milk in one feed.

@ridl14 using a dummy here too. Using it consciously not 24/7. Sometimes it helps if for some reason he is still unsettled but he clearly isn’t hungry anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️ sometimes if too unsettled it won’t help, he’ll spit it right out. But I added it to my toolbox as a way to calm him down in order to put to sleep. Usually I remove it when he falls asleep.

@Kumquat89 I think it's just to make sure baby is totally full - so wait until they appear done with one and then offer the other. Mine is usually done with one though !

Ah that's good to know different experiences with dummies! The HV said he's probably feeding to increase supply so I'm still leaning away from dummy for now but it's good to have in the back of my mind (especially in the car @superj21 he also hates when it's not moving! I've been using my (obv clean) little finger like a dummy in the car until he settles).

My night's sleep was garbage unfortunately 🙃 but the health visitor was very happy with his weight gain and she said it's good he's feeding so much at night (for him, less so for me). I'm happy to keep doing it if he's trying to increase supply, apparently the cluster feeding will be on and off and not consistently this much so hopefully I can stick it out. I did manage to pump with his first feed at a human hour this morning (I pumped both sides for 15min after he was done) so with the recent milk stash should have enough for a bottle tonight.

I've been told to pump overnight as prolactin is higher especially if he's getting a bottle feed without me. Feels very counterintuitive if I'm just trying to get a stretch of sleep but hopefully I can figure out how to do it at a decent time then get 3/4 hours in one go 🙏🏼

@Kumquat89 that's interesting, I think in the birth centre they said something like aim for 15 mins both sides to get to the hind milk. But I was also majorly sleep deprived so not sure on accuracy! I checked with the health visitor today who said always offer the other side unless he seems completely zonked out. And she said it's so that each breast gets enough stimulation from the baby to know to keep making more milk - apparently if you just alternate every couple of hours, 4 hours is quite long for one breast to go without any stimulation.

She also suggested if baby is happy after feeding from one side to stimulate the other breast enough to get a little milk out. I asked about pumping the other breast to increase supply which she said would also work (but I think she's less keen on pumping in general).

Aww that is such a cute smell @QuantumPanic 🤗 like a little milky bakery!

Has anyone had any gross milestones recently? In the last few days I've been thrown up on twice, peed on once due to a leaky (Lidl - suspiciously cheap) nappy and had a handful of my hair pulled out while my little one was grabbing my bra strap.

@ridl14 that’s interesting how there can be different viewpoints on this. 🤔 I wonder how to know what’s right and wrong. In general with breastfeeding there is so much uncertainty I find. You don’t know how much you are producing and you don’t know how much the baby is drinking.. finding it quite unsettling at times.
I haven’t pumped yet. Want to try it soon too.

About our question of one or two sides per feed.. found this and thought it quite interesting.
https://breastfeeding.support/one-breast-or-two-per-feed/
it still bothers me not to know when one side is « done » however. For example just now he did 10 minutes on one side. Put him back on the same side after a burp he stayed another 5 minutes and then passed out. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I attached the haakkaa on the other side just now trying to stimulate it. I suppose if he still wanted to continue after I could try the other side but it’s not exact science is it?

@Kumquat89 thank you for the link! Found it really interesting. It is confusing isn't it, the one thing I wasn't sure about on the link is it says always start a feed with the side they fed from last. But we could have just done a really long eg 40 min feed from one side, I'd usually start with the other if they passed out on the last feed?

I think we could be overthinking it, you're right it doesn't sound exact. I'm going to keep going with if it's a short feed and he goes back on relatively soon, I'll do same side again. But if he last had a long feed and/or it's been a while (2h+) since he wanted to feed, I'll do the other side.

Anyway the important thing is they're fed and happy isn't it - I am curious how much he's getting in one go and maybe that varies but going by his weight and the nappy output he's feeding well.

@ridl14 you are right. The most important is nappy output and weight gain and should try not to stress too much about it.

I think that when they say start from the side they fed last they assume that the baby fed less on that side. So then you start from that for your « main feed » because it didn’t get as much attention last time and you offer the other one again at the end.

Your plan sounds sensible. In fact my midwife said offer the same boob if it’s been less than an hour before he asks again. Stick with the same boob for about half an hour during the feed. But today I’ve been trying to pay attention and when he comes off a lot or seems frustrated I try changing to the other one thinking that he might have « finished » that one. I noticed something after about 20 minutes but can’t be sure.

I just passed a couple of days obsessing a little about it as I felt my breasts less swollen and he seems to want to feed longer than usually. Which made me worry about supply. But we have lots of wet and dirty nappies too and he seems fine overall. I’ve been dutiful to offer him the breast a lot during these two days. Hopefully if it’s a supply issue it will regulate itself. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hi ladies, very behind the thread so catching up during the first night feed! We are 8 weeks on Wed, not seeing any stretches in night sleeps yet though!
On pumping - I've near given up. Was trying to get at least one feed for DH to use but it just felt like my day was just nursing, pumping and cleaning pump stuff. It was only really effective if he had a big feed from one breast in the morning then passed out and I pumped the other side. We were just relying on one formula feed a day mostly so I could get a longer stretch of sleep and that worked well. I don't think I've had a 4 hour stretch once though! Most days this last week I've bee exclusively breastfeeding and it's been OK bar the everlasting tiredness :/
I got an app I'd recommend, it's one you've to pay a subscription for to make it useful. It's called Huckleberry, a friend recommended it and she is 6 weeks ahead of me with her little one and was using it for sleep recommendations as after 2 months it provides sleep insights like telling you when to put them down for a nap etc. You can track everything pretty much. I track sleep and feeds. I rely on it to remind me what breast to start with, and I go with the opposite to last one fed on as it needs more relief! This works for me :)
Last week we had a day where he was taking much shorter feeds and passing out and it felt like he slept loads and it really helped having the app as I could see from the summary validation that he was feeding less, but also that sleep was OK on average same as other days. So that helped me relax a little and also gave me the information I needed when asking a relative GP about it. Remained a mystery and things went back to normal the next day and I regretted not making the most of all his sleep!

Another fun recommendation:- 'cry when the baby cries' Becky Barnicoat. A friend sent me a copy of her cartoon in the guardian two weeks ago and she's just released this cartoon book about being a new mum. I'm about half way through and thoroughly enjoying it, feeling very validated!

We have our vaccinations on 26th March so that's the next thing I'm worrying about, worry is just how bad he'll react and how anxious I'll feel if he's a high temperature (which is to be expected). But I'm now trying to frame it as a potentially extra shit 24-48 hours but after that will be able to take him more places! :)

Oh baby smells, lol, our DS smells a lot like sour milk from spit up with his reflux :( no sweet brioche over here haha. I've started using Johnson baby bath so on bath days he smells lovely until the next spit up! :)

Hey!
I was told to stick to the same boob too! Something to do with hind milk etc.

I'm currently having problems with wind and pooping. It's so difficult. He's really uncomfortable all the time. The doctors prescribed laxatives as he was pooping every 2 days on average and was really uncomfortable in-between. The laxatives made him poo but made him really uncomfortable so I stopped them yesterday. Now he hasn't pooped since and is really really really gassy. I'm not sure what to do next?

Mamas who have had c sections? How are your tummies? Mine is still super sensitive and even feeding baby hurts resting him on my belly xx

Hi everyone! Sorry for being a bit MIA, two under two is quite time consuming!
Just to chime in about breastfeeding:

It’s totally personal preference whether you offer one boob at each feed or two; I never offered both to DD1 and she thrived anyway. With DD2 I’ll offer her the other if she unlatches from the first but still seems fussy or hungry.

I usually alternate boobs with each feed (I use Baby+ to track cause I’d never remember!) and use the opposite boob regardless of how long the previous feed was, unless one feels particularly full!

I’d highly recommend a haaka; I use it to attach to one boob when baby is feeding on the other, in order to catch my let down. I leave it on throughout the whole feed (I try and do our first feed of the day as that tends to be her biggest), and usually get about 90ml which is pretty good! My husband then feeds this to her in a bottle so I can have a shower!

Hope this helps some of you! I’m still breastfeeding DD1 alongside DD2, and I volunteer with a local breastfeeding support clinic, so if anyone wants any advice I can hopefully help!

The anxiety never stops! LO had a nose bleed today! He’s only 4 weeks old. It wasn’t massive but we noticed blood inside of his nostril and what followed was a big dry bloody bogey that we noticed and managed to remove for him 😭. We’re going to see the out of hours GP in an hour after calling 111 and I pray that it’s nothing too concerning but I’m worried sick. I can’t Think of anything that could’ve caused this. Has anyone ever come across anything similar before? Google isn’t returning many results when I search for this…

@SBelfast I've given up on pumping for now too. My daytime routine is nappy change, feed, sling and sway so that the baby sleeps - repeat endlessly. There's no space for pumping. Maybe in a few weeks/months!

I've been using Huckleberry to track everything pretty much since my baby was born. It's brilliantly designed and really helps keep track of things through the haze of sleep deprivation. When a health professional asks how many wet nappies we've had, etc., I just show them the app. Giving information based on my memory proved to be soooo unreliable - I told one midwife that my baby hadn't been weighed until 2 weeks after birth (she was rightly skeptical and checking the red book showed that this was nonsense) and that she was only weeing a few times a day - also nonsense. It's also very reassuring to be able to look back at previous days and see that actually she has had days where she's slept/fed less and that she's survived, so I'm panicking about nothing.

Baby has started spitting up here too! Sometimes vast quantities. But she's also started really looking at things and we've definitely had some real (not just gas) smiles so it feels like she is evolving. 💗

We had one AMAZING night of sleep, where she did a four hour stint, woke for an hour and then did another three hour stint. We were so jubilant! Of course, the next night she was back to 1-2hr stints with hours of being awake in between. What a little troll.

@ThisLimeDeer Would it maybe just be the same thing that causes nosebleeds in adults? Fragile blood vessels, maybe irritated by changing temp/dry air or by lots of sneezing? I hope you managed to see someone and that he's ok. 🤞

@retrievermum thanks your advice will definitely be valuable in the group. I sleep-use a haakaa since some days now but I don’t ger anywhere close to 90ml usually. Haven’t figured it all out yet but at one point last night managed 60ml and thought it was amazing. Sometimes almost nothing comes out- about 10ml or something. I heard somewhere that it’s better to wait until about 6 weeks to give a bottle (or a pacifier). Any input on this? I already use the pacifier sporadically but not tried the bottle yet. We are at 5 weeks almost now.

@ThisLimeDeer how did the night go? Sorry that you are passing a stressful moment. It’s definitely still stressful after birth. Although at least now I feel that the stress is more shared with the partner so the load is a little lighter. I hope your mind was put at peace by a medical professional. In most cases we stress about nothing fortunately. But for the peace of mind it’s always better to check. 🤍

@Kumquat89 anecdotally my friends who waited to 6 weeks to introduce a bottle struggled with rejection. They all did it sooner with no2 with no effort.

mini me struggled with latch so has had some bottles with no bother since then - usually 1-2 daily. We went mam with a tiny teat.

So the doc last night thought my little one scratched his nose somehow, however we’ve had another nose bleed this morning so we got referred to a paediatrician by our regular GP. Unfortunately the appointment is not until the end of May so I hope we see some improvement before then! It is definitely stressful

@Kumquat89 are you flipping the top down before you suction it onto your boob? That helped me get a bit more!
Like @UncharteredWaters said, waiting longer can sometimes lead to rejection! I waited until 12 weeks with DD1 and was very lucky that she accepted a bottle, but went for it as soon as I felt that breastfeeding was going well this time, which was about four weeks. Baby might not be happy about it to start with, DD2 accepted a full bottle of expressed milk on our second try, but with DD1 my husband tried to give her a bottle every single night for about ten days before she actually got anything substantial out of it, so if they’re not interested, try again the next day and don’t stress!

My tummy is sensitive when I run my fingers over it, but it also feels oddly numb through clothes - I can feel pressure but not much touch. When I've spoken to the midwives/GP/Mumsnet about it, they all say the tissues are healing and it could be months before it's back to normal. I don't remember this with my first C-section though.

I'm struggling with my velcro baby who won't be put down awake or asleep.

We're combination feeding but I really want to move more to breastfeeding. I need to pump to increase my supply and I can't find the time. Hakaa does give me small amounts but I'm not sure if it's worth doing when my supply is low and I worry I'm not leaving enough in my breasts for my baby during a feed.

Sleep - I think baby has a 2-3h stretch at 7pm and then is up every hour. It feels more bearable now though.

We've also survived a stomach bug. Amazingly the baby was the only one who didn't get sick! It was no fun looking after 3 dependents though!

@UncharteredWaters @retrievermum thanks for the advice on this. I might just go ahead and try it already then. Do you have a good reference on what amounts to give per feed for each age? 🤔

@Mamma173 stomach bug is no fun! You are a hero for going through it and also looking after others and baby.
With sleep we similarly have the longest stretch starting sometime between 7-9 and then they start getting shorter until the morning. 6-7 seems to be the end of the night. Towards the morning he will only stay half an hour to 45 mins. Last night he’s done 4 hours for the first stretch 😲 it was the first time and hopefully not the last 🤞

@Kumquat89 I usually give about 50mls, but only because I usually get about 100ml in the haaka, and I freeze half! I got 60ml the other day and just gave her all of that!

@Mamma173 same pattern here. First stretch of sleep is the best, after that it's decreasing drips and drabs. 6am is our wake up too.

Last night was horrific. A two hour stint followed by a rocking/shushing/bf marathon. What was awful was not being able to comfort her. She was clean, dry, warm, full and close (and not gassy as far as I could tell) but she was still crying. 😞 I guess she was exhausted, but she refuses the cure for that!