Due February 2025 - Thread 5: IT'S TIME

[UrbanSquirrel]

Creating this as a space to continue the Feb 2025 chat - quite frankly it's all starting to feel very, very real right now!

@QuantumPanic oooohhhh feel for you! I was really very naive about this whole thing so I'd never heard of 'newborn trenches' but that is very much what it's like 😂
Surviving not yet thriving is my moto haha. Lack of sleep was the worst for me at the start. We are 5+3 weeks old today and it's gotten a bit better but we had a bad night last night with a very awake baby wanting to feed a lot.
We've had lots of times where changing his nappy has been a poonami, spewnami and or he's peed all over himself, resulting in an immediate rechange/redress lol. I've gotten faster with new nappies going on now 😂
I just try to sleep when I can when I've a bad night to catch up on rest and keep sane. It's frustrating when you want to be doing stuff and I've to keep reminding myself it's too early to have a routine and just have to prioritise rest lol.
What do you do to get through the nights? I watch trash reality tv and save it for nights so there's a distinction between nights and days lol.

@QuantumPanic i feel exactly the same. Every morning I’m super optimistic when having my coffee but during the night I feel like I’m dying. As you say @SBelfast its all about survival at that moment.

The other thing is I want to start doing some things outside the house but so far it all depends with Arès. One time he had a really nice nap in the pram, another two he was crying and I needed to carry him. With the baby carrier it’s been a bit better but I feel like he is still very unpredictable. I don’t know how far I can go with him at the moment and it keeps me from going out at all.

Really feel this about needing to get out of the house! I've had a couple times crying and not knowing why (+one time where it was 100% about intense sleep deprivation) so we took baby to a nearby cafe yesterday for a mini trip out which was a good milestone. I'm aiming to try and get outside once a day even just to the garden but ideally a bit more now - I realised I hadn't seen daylight for the first maybe 9 days after he was born so DH made me go walk around the garden for 10 mins.

Feeding is getting easier, he's stopped cluster feeding quite as intensely and I've used the haakaa some of the time to collect some milk for DH to give in a bottle which has bought me the odd stretch at night. A friend has recommended an electric pump as he's feeding more and we'll need to up the amounts collected. Shifts are helping. We've got into a bad habit of relying on side-lying for breastfeeding which was making me nervous to go out with him but we're practising doing it upright more so I feel more mobile. 2 weeks in today.

I'm also in the odd position where most of my friends (I have a few from work here now plus DH's friends and family) and my DB are in a different city so just planning with them whether they can come for a day trip or stay over with not great sleep with our newborn around, just not as easy having visitors from my side as when they could just pop over after work. But getting some of those visits planned is helping as well.

@Piluka @SBelfast
i think we also have reflux. Had a horrible day today. He was really unsettled and in combination with last night’s s sleeplessness it’s getting to me. Does this thing go away any time soon by itself ?

@SBelfast Dp builds a dam or ‘wall of defence’ from tissue and cotton wool following a particularly projectile poo! 🤣🤣

@ridl14 good for you for going out to get some coffee ! I hope I get more confident going out soon too. We are also 2 weeks and some days.
i completely get the challenge with visitors and arranging dates for ppl coming from further away. Personally I much prefer to have ppl over for just a coffee or dinner often but we too have our family and friends far away so visiting means intense all day interaction for several days (my family arrived for the birth and are staying for yet another month). They help A LOT. But also it means that I have not much personal time or space. My MIL is also around for the same amount of time in addition to several other visitors that are staying either a few days or just coming for the day.

@SBelfast congratulations on surviving the first five weeks! I'm also a huge reality TV fan - I've been catching up on Love Is Blind during those sleepless nights. We had an amazing projectile poo yesterday. No exaggeration when I say the spatter travelled a good two metres.

I'm with you on the frustration. Every time I feel better and try to up my activity I set myself back (my episiotomy was healing brilliantly on Friday, so of course I've opened it back up again 🙄🙃) so I guess my new reality is confining myself to the sofa even more than I had previously. Got to keep reminding myself that this can't last forever. 😞

@Kumquat89 hmm I think it can last a while 😫 it seems to vary but I read can last up to a year or longer. That's probably extreme cases I'd imagine. I think/hope for most it can improve as their digestive system matures, also apparently when they can sit up properly that helps.
It really seems random for us when it's a particularly bad day for it. Pretty sure the little man is cluster feeding today, he's been having short naps starting last night then fussy and shorter feeds. 🙄
@QuantumPanic 6 weeks on Wed and apparently around 6 weeks you tend to get cluster feeding as it's a development/growth spurt phase when they start social smiling etc.
In my tiredness I've watched an ultramarathon doc and decided to sign up for a half marathon. Not ran a 5k since first trimester, my body's fucked, knees fucked, and not back fucked with bad posture breastfeeding 😂 but want a challenge! I think this is motivated by the fact I'm also frustrated at not being able to do much lol. Last week I've had a bit more routine and been doing stuff while he naps but today I'm tired, he's tired and fussy with short naps and I'm kind of enjoying sofa time and planning stuff for future:) helps me get through! How are you doing?

Anyone who had a section should I be worried on day 6 that I literally still look as pregnant as I did before I gave birth! I feel so bloated and like my bump is still stretched 😩
Tmi but my first few post partum bowel movements were actually fine but then struggled last two days.
I think it coincided with the 5 day drop in hormones yesterday because I got myself upset about it last night.
I really feel like the excessive bump is hindering my scar as it's quite a lot of pressure on it 😩
Just wondering if this is normal? I know I'll not get my pre baby body back for a good while but I'm sure with my little girl it was like a deflating bloon not still so hard and full! Xx

Try some peppermint tea for the bloat and lots of water for water retention x

@Onthedouble123 it was normal for me, I still looked 6 months pregnant around day 6. It went down day by day though, I'm 4 weeks post section tomorrow and it's about as flat as it's going to get now. I have a bit of a sag which is new to me tbh, but accept this is probably how it's going to look now, and tbh it could be worse. So just give it more time! Day 6 is still very early.
I struggled with bowel movements and emptying my bladder properly until a few days - a week ago. The midwives said this is normal, I just took some lactulose every couple of days to help.

@TTCagain85 thanks I've been having the odd peppermint tea but will up them to try and help more! And have deliberately drank extra water this evening too.

@Lunalovegod that's reassuring. Im realistic that it's not going to disappear completely and think I'm actually okay with that. It was just worrying me that it hadn't really gone down at all and had got it in my head there was some sort of post op complication going on in there! I'll stick with the tips and give it more time... Xx

@Onthedouble123 I’m 19 days post op and belly has gone down now but there is a bit of a sag above my scar which I think is exaggerated by the fact that my belly is still bruised and swollen from the op and the blood thinner injections! I don’t think it will ever fully disappear but I’ll worry about it once I’m fully healed. My scar, although not bleeding anymore, is infected! I got antibiotics again from my GP this time. I just want it to heal now so I can live a normal life as I’m still struggling to bend and can only do little walks outside 😭.
I honestly had such a good c-section experience but the recovery part has been HARD physically and mentally. I’ve had a couple of really down days and sometimes still struggle.

@Onthedouble123 not to keep coming on here to talk about constipation 😂 but I recommend warm prune juice! Dk if it needed to be warm but it did the trick. So did coffee but then me and DS were up all night, big mistake. I was taking lactulose like @Lunalovegod but it wasn't doing anything noticeable for me.

@SBelfast you are honestly incredible booking a half marathon! I literally feel your pain breastfeeding and spending more time sat up in bed, my lower back has been killing me. Glad you are getting more of a routine as that's something I've been struggling with (baby was 2 weeks on Saturday). I worked full time teaching until a week before he was born so it's been a weird sudden transition from being out the house all day surrounded by people, gym a few times a week inc 2 structured classes, to not knowing what day it was, not going out in daylight for the first 9 days of his life.

It's been helping knowing I can try and nap usually in the early morning and evening and then try and actually do something small with the days. Will help when I can drive myself as well, idk if anyone's already driving but I heard not to do it for the first six weeks.

Also sure this is anxious/PFB behaviour but I've been wanting people to wash their hands before holding him (nervous about RSV) but feeling rude about asking DH's side. Just dropped round to in laws' this afternoon and DH forgot to ask them (this was their 4th time seeing him and we hadn't asked them before then remembered we should be asking visitors - he's not had many yet), I felt awkward about it. MIL said come to grandma and took him from me, I was thinking it's probably fine but feeling anxious about it in case. We've agreed for DH to remember to ask his side next time or for me to just grow a pair and speak up if it's bothering me.

@ridl14 I'm with you on wanting people to wash hands. I've been lucky I've had a few visitors who have offered so I've not needed to ask but when I have I've just said "oh sorry do you mind washing your hands". I don't think it's anxiety but when you think about how many germy surfaces people are touching each day it seems very obvious to wash hands before touching such a little baby 😊. It can feel a bit awkward but better than risking the wee one catching anything!

Has anyone got strawberry birthmarks on their babies? Mine has two in the scalp and shoulder that are suddenly (5 weeks today) getting bigger and redder and raised. I've been googling and it seems they're mostly harmless and treatable but they look so angry, I don't want them to get bigger. ☹️ Waiting for a GP callback now.

@Mamma173 My baby has a salmon patch on her eyelid. It looks like she's taken an elbow to the face. 😅 Google tells me to wait a couple of years for birthmarks to fade...think it's just a case of waiting to see and getting some sort of laser treatment if necessary once the baby is a bit bigger.

@QuantumPanic we have the same! On the right eyelid. And on the back of the neck. I didn’t really Google it because one of the midwives said it will go away by 6 months and I didn’t question it. It sounds like it might be a little longer based on what you found.
We also have bloodshot eyes still at 3 weeks today. 🤷🏻‍♀️

We have 3 stork marks- one on his forehead, one over his eyelid and one on the back of his neck.
Midwife said is just blood vessels and will just fade but that then he might have a temper tantrum aged about 5 and it'll show up red again! Xx

Thanks for the replies. The GP messaged to say they don't normally need to be treated but that'll look at it at the 8 week checkup.

Hey I've not been on here recently, really struggling. Lots of things happening which in sure are fine but I just worry all the time. We've had jaundice, tongue tie, losing 11% of birth weight, choking whilst feeding , infected nail bed. Now he won't poo 😭😭 Is this normal. It's been 2 days. Tried all the exercises and tummy rubs but just makes him cry more. He keeps straining but nothing comes out. He had this the other day and it was diarrhea so can't be constipated. Any help appreciated x

@Hhdxx sorry you've been through a bit of a time of it. One thing after another 😫
I've not got any advice yet I'm afraid other than to give a hand hold and say that we too haven't had a poo since first thing Tuesday morning. At the midwife tomorrow for 10 day check/signing off so am going to ask them for advice. Will pass along any new tips they give me!
You're doing great tackling all those things though - hope things settle down for you soon. 💕

@Onthedouble123 thank you. I'm sorry you've had no poo too! I'd your little one in any distress? Mine is xxxx

We've had a few long days between poos, not sure how old baby is is or how they're been fed but we've now (at 5 weeks) go into more of a routine of poos every 48/72 hours. We did have a stage where she was in pain with it when she must have been adjusting, we did a lot of bicycle legs/ tummy time/ warm bath/ tummy massage - there's some good videos on where to massage on the tummy to help.

What we've found too is if formula feeding, we sometimes use the ready-made formula and that seems to help her poo assuming it's a bit of a thinner consistency.

If none of this works definitely speak to midwife/ Dr's.

@elb1504 he's combi fed. So weird. He seems really gassy. Have you used infacol or anything like that?

Is your baby formula or breastfed? X