Social services referral?

[Kat140]

Hi so I had a midwife’s appointment today and she said that she has to refer me to social services because of my age, I’m 16 years old and will be 17 having the baby. I’m just wondering if this is true as it’s never happened to anyone I have spoken to that has had children younger than me?!
May I also add that I have no involvement of social service and never have nether has my baby’s farther and when the baby is here she has no threat to harm agains her and will be well looked after.

I was 16 when I had my first but conceived at 15 so the midwife did a referral because I was under 16 (age of consent is 16 not 18 like that pp said)

Nothing major came from it just a visit to see how old the dad was (same age as me) so don't worry

The 70s weren’t known for their great parenting standards and there would have been many more teenage pregnancies then

@Kat140 will you and your boyfriend be able to finance the baby once it arrives. Are you both working FT or still at college?

in the uk the legal age of consent is 16.

Congratulations 🎉 ❤️

I live with my parents and he lives with us, yes they are supportive and I have a very good support system around me,I’m still at collage and will be going back to collage once I’ve had the baby.

OP, SS will be involved because the outcomes for you and your baby are likely to be poorer (statistically, not necessarily you personally) and therefore they want to have early intervention to offer as much help and support as they can. They want to improve the outcomes for you and your baby, that's all.

Research has shown that teenage pregnancy is associated with poorer outcomes for both young parents and their children. Teenage mothers are less likely to finish their education, are more likely to bring up their child alone and in poverty and have a higher risk of mental health problems than older mothers. Infant mortality rates are 60% higher for babies born to teenage mothers. As children, they have an increased risk of living in poverty and are more likely to have accidents and behavioural problems

https://www.nuffieldtrust.org.uk/resource/teenage-pregnancy#:~:text=Teenage%20mothers%20are%20less%20likely,babies%20born%20to%20teenage%20mothers.

I wouldn't say it the norm to receive a referral is this circumstance. Maybe she referred you to receive extra support - in some area children service come under one umbrella including other services like family support, bright start

Both working and I’m also at collage and yes he makes enough money to support me and the baby financially once she’s here.

Actually, even less. 2.1 per thousand for 13-15 year olds would mean it would have to be a truly MASSIVE secondary school because it's 2.1 out of every 1000 13-15 year old girl.

So our large secondary has 248 pupils per year group. Let's assume 50% are girls. So that's 124 girls x 3 (13 year olds, 14 year olds and 15 year olds) = 672 girls. So Significantly less than 2 girls within that cohort would get pregnant.

Also, not sure what the rate of pregnancy that translates to live birth is among this cohort? I would imagine many have abortions?

In Wales they can leaved education at 16 still and vote in some elections - think just Westminster ones they can't. Think the other devolved nations are similar. So in the UK they can is often wrong these days as there are now these quirks.

Likely though though numbers OP is in England but even there 16 is age of consent so babies have always happened at those age - though I agree she'll likely encounter odd barriers.

SS aren't always a bad thing - they are supposed to be a support services as well.

Though like PP I know girls pg at 16 in 2000s who had no SS involvement but teen pg even then were considerable desirable on population level and work to reduce their numbers has been ongoing - I assume SS involvement more normal as there are fewer teen pg but services to offer support still exist and they are in good position to check family support and offer advice and sign posting or access to services and in England they are supposed to be in education till 18.

Did you live at home with your parents? Or have your own house with your boyfriend?

You're not a woman, you're a girl. Anyone younger than you is also a girl. So no, there aren't much younger women than you having children. There are also very few girls younger than you having children. You need to accept that your situation isn't common.

Outcomes for teenage mothers and their children are worse than those of adult mothers and their children, which is why you are being referred to SS. It's nothing personal against you; it's a reflection of your situation.

My parents kicked me out and I lived in a house share with other teen mum's

Sorry, I read my post back and it sounds like I'm totally interrogating you! I meant it more to highlight things social services can be concerned about.

Really glad you've got a supportive family. Good on you for sticking with college too. Hope all goes well

@Kat140 I'm sure it will just bee to make sure you've got all the help you need. Try not to worry about it. If you've got suitable housing etc then they'll have no concerns.

Congratulations.

Hi op, obviously being a parent so young is not ideal but lots of people do it and do it really well. My sister is a fantastic mummy and had her first at that age. The key is that she had all the right support in place to help her manage her education etc while pregnant and when baby arrived.

I personally think that it's probably better to work with ss and see what they say when they come out. If they see you've good support etc and that you're managing and safe then they'll close the case. In the meantime I'd actually use them to your advantage and ask them to link you in with services in your area that would benefit you as a younger mummy. They can bump you up waiting lists and I know there's services in my area that would help with babysitting etc during the day which might help if you've coursework etc you're trying to keep up with.

I don't want to pry, but is it possible that the date of conception was prior to one or both of you turning 16 and that's triggered the referral? There are specialist hv etc that will work with young parents because it is hard and it can be isolating if you're the first of your friend group having kids which is more likely in your case just because of your age. So take all the help you can get until you build your village.

This is turning into a discussion on the concept of teenage mothers. Everything you say OP will be picked apart by the bored and angry. Get out now!!

Well that hasn't happened has it? You have mostly had good advice and reassurance.
A lot of us have kids around the same age as you and as I said before its not ideal and as a parent its probably not what I would have wanted for my daughter but its not the end of the world and there is no reason you can't be great parents. SS are just there to make sure that you are all OK and help you
There aren't scary baby snatchers and they will want to keep the baby with you if at all possible, removing a child has a very very high bar as there are few places to put them and the Parents are usually the best option. Not engaging with SS may raise alarm bells though so please don't do that out of unecessary fear

This - My friends 15 year old daughter had a baby and my friend had to oversee the the two children. Not an ideal situation at all. The teenage mother is now 20, doesn’t see her first child and is now pregnant again.. No winners in that situation

She’s 16 so it’s perfectly legal for her to be having sex

OP, don’t worry about it. Just remember that a lot of 16 year olds won’t have the support that you thankfully have. They have to treat everyone the same so they can assist those that need them. Once they see that you are coping well and have lots of support they’ll be on their way.

Just to mention, there was a 17 year old in my NCT group years ago. She coped better than the rest of us when her baby arrived as she was young, full of energy and enthusiasm and had wonderfully supportive parents. The father of her baby and his parents were also fully on board. When we were all moaning about how tired we were and that our husbands were back in work and not around to help, she literally couldn’t relate. She was loving every second of being a mum.

Good luck with your birth and new beginnings!

My niece had a baby at 16 last year, she lives at home with her mum and step dad in a very lovely happy unit. SS were automatically referred her case, this just meant extra support and a few extra visits, they were fantastic at getting her involved in groups for young mums in the area. After a few months all contact with SS stopped and she was effectively signed off. Treat it as a positive and get as much support as you can. Good Luck and congratulations.

OP is 16 - legal age of consent in the UK. Are you confusing this with the legal age you can marry - which is 18.

No it won’t. The law is that it’s illegal for someone over the age of 18 and in a position of trust (e.g teacher, sports coach) to have sex with someone under 18.

A 60 year old and a 16 year old wouldn’t be illegal as long as the 60 year old wasn’t in a position of trust.

@Kat140 , I worked in a secondary school and taught a few girls pregnant at 16. This isn’t a referral to social services for safeguarding, it’s just to ensure you and the baby are safe, ensure you have everything you need and they will refer you to baby groups for young mothers, make sure you’re claiming any benefits you’re entitled to and things like that. It’s more like additional help, not judging you as being unfit to parent.

I understand you're only 16 but you sound like a sensible 16, accepting what's happened and planning for it rather than burying your head in the sand. Well done to you and your boyfriend for planning for the future of your little girl too. Work/college, making midwife appointments etc - all sounds excellent, and you said your plans are in place with a good place to live etc. I do not know specifics of any SS involvement; lots have given you reasons why the referral may have been made. However - SS are there to help, perhaps to ensure you do have those plans and everything is in place, they are just checking in to ensure as good an outcome as possible. It sounds like the outcome for your little girl is promising as she has a lovely mum and dad ready to welcome her. Just be honest with SS and show them you thought it through and have support in place. I wish you every bit of luck!