Social services referral?

[Kat140]

Hi so I had a midwife’s appointment today and she said that she has to refer me to social services because of my age, I’m 16 years old and will be 17 having the baby. I’m just wondering if this is true as it’s never happened to anyone I have spoken to that has had children younger than me?!
May I also add that I have no involvement of social service and never have nether has my baby’s farther and when the baby is here she has no threat to harm agains her and will be well looked after.

OP, a family friends daughter gave birth at 15 and obviously had a SS referral due to her age. The father was the same age and both had support from their families. SS wanted to check the baby wasnt conceived as the result of abuse, they had access to stable housing and a support network. They helped her apply for any benefits and signposted them to both the relevant agencies so she could return to education etc. Obviously far from an ideal situation but they made the best of it and everyone is thriving.

Its natural to be defensive (and after some of the comments on here no wonder why) but try and see it as they are going to help you, they arent saying you're going to be a bad parent but you cant be expected to know what support is there for you so they can help you with that 🙂

All the best for the birth 💐

Social Services will want to know that you are OK, that you have somewhere safe to live, and that you understand what you need to do to care for a baby. They will also want to know a bit about the baby's dad and what your relationship with him is like, again, to ensure that you and the baby are safe.

It sounds like its a bad thing, but it really isn't - caring for a baby can be overwhelming sometimes, so get all the help and advice that you can from Social Services.

By the way, anyone younger than you who got pregnant and says they didnt have Social Services involvement, is not telling the truth. Right now, though, thats not important. Worry about yourself and your baby. How far along are you?

no one is hating. some people are just being pedantic! yes hearing the words social services is scary, but honestely, they are there to help you and your baby! accept as much help as you want..

But she isn’t a “minor”. So no law has been broken, yet you seem to think there is.

Im not picking her apart at all, just correcting your errors.

That's brilliant that you have enough support and help around you, social services don't know that though and a lot of young mums might not have that. I think the social services involvement is them just wanting to check that you have the help and support. You're potentially more vulnerable because of your age (as you're likely reliant on your parents/guardians for accommodation and possibly money) so it'd be wrong for them not to check you're OK. Some young mums might find they're not able to stay in the place they've been living as they have issues with their parents/guardians or it might make the house over-crowded. And if you were in that situation you'd need help finding somewhere to live and benefits and support. As scary as it sounds, try and see it as a positive - they are there to help you.

You are talking nonsense.

I know so many young people thathad a baby around the 16 to 17 year age and had no social service input. Seems strange.
I also know a lot of young people who did have SS input when they had a child under 18 but there were already on going issues. ( I worked in a college then transfered to a young people's placement team, this is how I know so many young people)

Are you still living with your parents @Kat140 or with the baby's father? Are your parents supportive of your choice to have the baby or not? Are you still at school/college and would you want to continue with that once baby is here? The answers to any/all of those as I understand it could lead to social services becoming involved, to support you and baby going forward. They're not judging you. If you engage with them it should be another form of support for you and baby.

It must have changed since I had my baby in the 00s, I was pregnant at 16 and gave birth at 17 and there was no SS referral, I really don't see why they would need to be involved.

Social services aren't there to scare you, or judge you as a teenage mother. Please do ask them lots of questions about their role, and find out if they can offer you anything you may want / need.

Ignore the nosy idiots on this thread who are criticising you. It's fucking rude of them. They've obviously never been around any thriving young parents, imagining this means your life is over. It's ignorant.

It takes enormous bravery to make the decision you have. All the best x

OP, Social Service will be getting involved not just for the baby's protection, but also for yours. When this baby is born, you are supposed to still be in some kind of education - school, college, apprenticeship etc.

That is true in England - not in other parts of the UK.

Honestly they'll be checking you have support and pointing you to services. Hopefully when you talk to them they'll explain all this.

Teen mothers do get judged in wider society so unfortunately that is something to learn to deal with. Teen pg are getting rarer - which is considered a good thing as it's so much harder for teen parents than in past - but probably doesn't help with the judging.

In the United Kingdom, the age of majority is 18 years old. This means that people are considered adults at this age and can: Vote in elections, Enter into legally binding contracts, Buy tobacco and cigarettes, and Get a tattoo.

The age of majority was reduced from 21 to 18 in 1970 by the Family Law Reform Act. However, there are some things that people can't do until they are 21, such as adopting a child unless they are the child's biological parent.

The age of consent in the UK is 16, meaning that young people of any gender or sexual orientation can legally have sexual activity at this age.

i can only copy and paste.. the OP IS a minor! you are the one confusing the two definitions. and the reason social services are to be involved because she is a minor.. its nothing to do with age of consent!

Don't view it as a negative thing. I adopted and suddenly our world was full of "social services". Like you I was apprehensive and I was 42!
All but 1 of the tens of "social services" people I've met have been lovely. All of them checking I'm OK, signposting to help. Mostly just turning up and telling me I'm doing a great job. However much support you have, having a baby is tough and a cheerleader in your corner is great.
You can never have too many people looking out for you. Hope that reassures.

The age of consent is 16 is it not?

Most 16 year olds are still in school. The midwife has acted accordingly, the social services will just want to check that you have housing, money to raise a baby and a support system in place. It won’t be easy. They can offer help, if needed, with form filling for benefits and grants etc they can also put in a supporting letters to the council, refer you to parenting classes.. I’m sure you will be an amazing mumma but they just need to check you are set up for a baby.

I’m not confusing it at all. You are.

You have already posted that she is below the age of consent and that if the father was over 18 the law would be broken. Copying and pasting about voting and tattoos doesn’t change that.

Just admit you were completely wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️

Congratulations and don't worry - it is because of their concern over your age - don't worry and provide them with all the information - if you seem reluctant to talk to them they will have to bother you more with questions, etc. Just be open and friendly with them. They are on your side!

They will be working with you to ensure you can stay in education and also that you weren't coerced into the situation. As long as the father is a similar age this won't be a factor. They will make sure you have adequate housing and that your family can support you. See it as a resource not interference. They will not be offering more than occasional visits unless there's a problem

Definitely buy one of these and get nice biscuits in. And enjoy your baby.

@mollymazda in your first post you said the OP was under the age of consent, this is what people are picking up on. We know she is a minor but she is legally allowed to have sex.

There maybe issues if the person she had sex with was older and in position of power eg her teacher, but that isn’t the case.

But if the OP thinks she is old enough to have a baby then she has to accept what comes with that including SS checking her circumstances

And ?

You weren't referred to SS aged 16 if you were pregnant UNLESS there were other issues.

Round here, it would be usual practice for social services to get involved for a pregnant 16 year old, but if no concerns then arose, they'd usually signpost services and back off. Usually during the pregnancy, mum would be supported by a specialist midwife, with a focus on teen pregnancies. It really is to safeguard you and your baby, rather than anything scary.

OP - you referenced twice having spoken to women much younger than you with children

That IS loads, how have you ever met someone younger than you having a child?

If it's 2 in a thousand do you even know a 1000 people your age to have met the one other young woman who's had a baby?

Not in the UK, she's not- age of consent here is 16.

Hello! congratulations on your baby. I know it may be difficult and feel that people are being judgemental but you would get that no matter your age unfortunately. Try to be open with the midwife’s and social services, show you are willing to accept and take on board what they are saying, they just want to make sure you have the support and your baby has the support. It might just be one check and be on your way it might be a few. I know it’s hard but leave the defensive at the door and show them how good of a mum your are going to be and will become. Good luck with everything. X