Social services referral?

[Kat140]

Hi so I had a midwife’s appointment today and she said that she has to refer me to social services because of my age, I’m 16 years old and will be 17 having the baby. I’m just wondering if this is true as it’s never happened to anyone I have spoken to that has had children younger than me?!
May I also add that I have no involvement of social service and never have nether has my baby’s farther and when the baby is here she has no threat to harm agains her and will be well looked after.

She's covering her back I wouldn't worry too much about them. Stay calm everything will be fine.

She’s definitely legal to have sex. No issue there whatsoever.

I know it sounds scary but probably not much will come of it except some advice about support you can receive.
With my first baby I was referred to social services due to historic self harm scars. Literally all that happened was they phoned me to ask if I were OK, and did i need support...and when I said I was fine and had plenty of support, i never heard from them again.
Due to your age they probably just want to make sure you and baby are OK. All you need to do is communicate to them that you are living at home and have plenty of family support.
Don't be afraid. A social services referral isn't necessarily some negative thing to worry about. It's good they check on people. If you didn't have the support of your family, you and your baby might be in a vulnerable position due to your age.. so they need to make sure you are both OK. Try not to stress about it and just be honest.

Just want to write to show you some support. I fell pregnant at 18 with my eldest whilst at uni. 24 years later and me and her dad are married, have two more children, own our own house. I have a good job and he runs his own business. Have multiple holidays a year and a great relationship with our children. My eldest is at uni now and has her own car and goes on holidays with friends and is not any worse off than friends who's parents had them older. I'm delighted at 39 not to have young kids like many of my friends do.

Don't let anyone tell you you've ruined your life. Just be open and honest with social services and I'm sure they will be happy and close the referral.

How are you so ill-informed? A 16 year old can have sex with a 90 year old if they want to. It might give you the ick, but it’s not illegal!

I’ve realised that 🤦‍♀️

Congratulations @Kat140 on your pregnancy and you sound as if you are both sensible and getting organised.

I worked in this exact field for many years and nothing you have said would trigger a SS referral. However we did have a monthly meeting with staff involved with potentially vulnerable women and SS attended. All new clients would be briefly discussed and a plan of support outlined.

The person who should be checking in and ensuring you are prepared, supported and adequately housed in 1. Your midwife and 2. your HV.

Good luck with everything going forward. If you are offered any additional support I’d recommend taking it.

Don't worry Hun, my friends step daughter fell pregnant at 17 gave birth just before 18 - reason for referral was just that she was a child, sadly the baby's father did not want to know in the end but SS wasn't concerned as she had so much support from my friend and her family, plus her bio mothers side of family.
I don't think they stayed involved for long, she's 22 now and I know they aren't involved any longer. You'll be fine. Congrats

No it's not. Assuming she's in the UK. Where are you getting this information?

Don't post this kind of thing unless you know what you're talking about.

I think you’re a little confused as to what the ‘age of consent’ means. A 70 year old could sleep with a 16 year old if she was ok with it and it would be perfectly legal.

It's irrelevant what the rules were in the 70s as that was 50 years ago...not a case of 'this must be a new rule'

Christ, this thread is getting like 'cancel the cheque' with the amount of people correcting the PP over the legal age limit to have sex! 🤦‍♀️

Factors that might lead to social services involvement:
Lack of family support
History of abuse or neglect
Housing instability
Mental health concerns
Difficulty accessing healthcare or education

You are absolutely right about the legal age to consent. However, the legal age to marry is still 16 in some parts of the UK - Scotland and Northern Ireland.

@@Kat140

Please ignore the massive derail/bunfight and also try not to worry about social services. They will want reassurance that you are OK and have support around you and if you provide that and are open and honest, it will be fine. If they offer help, at least think carefully about taking it, don't turn it down because of fear.

Wishing you and your baby the best.

Maybe concerns and advice about her housing, her continued education, her present and future financial support, her emotional maturity, ability to understand a baby’s needs both physical, developmentally and emotionally.

Nope.

That doesn't make it OK. Would you give that same advice to your child? What would be your concerns if your 16yr old fell pregnant, or if they fell pregnant at an even younger age?

You need to start thinking from the view point of an adult parent, now. You're going to grow up fast in a very short amount of time and then you'll realise why the referral was made.

SS are going to want to make sure that the baby is financially stable, the parents are mentally prepared and stable to look after a tiny, vulnerable human being. This is no longer about you and what you want - If you were mature enough to have sex (Which you weren't because you weren't mature enough to use precautions - No. Contraception on its own is not 100% safe. Contraception and a condom - Yes.)

You're going to have to take this on the chin and work with SS.

However, I do hope you continue to look after your own future and career by signing up with the Open University, or join an employability scheme with your local council. You don't havr to, or need to be another young family living on the breadline. Don't see this as an attack on you, but just some harsh and wise advice to keep developing yourself, for your babies own wellbeing in the future.

This is what I wanted to say.

Basically OP what they are doing is early intervention to ensure the best outcomes for you and your baby.

I was a teen mom (although older than you) so no judgement from me. And my baby is now 20 and is doing well in life (although she frustrates me at times 🤣). See this as a positive thing and all will be okay.

Your post is offensive patronising bollocks to most young parents *MustWeDoThis

This! You’ll likely get some really nice support, help with money and access to other support services that can be absolutely vital in the pregnancy and postpartum period. This isn’t a bad thing and not at all a negative reflection on you as a person or prospective parent. They just want to help.

Young Mums often have a specialist midwife. Just see it as extra support.

This.
IMO the midwife is covering all bases and ensuring the right support is available should you and baby need it. Good luck

It's not a negative.

It's because you are not legally an adult and may require additional support as a result.

It's to ensure both you and your baby are supported enough.

If you are, it will most likely cease when you turn 18.

OP.. i removed my comment because the intention was never to de-rail your post.

As many have said and i said in my original comment, SS are there to help and support you. It sounds scary, but it really is not. It sounds like you have a great support network around you and your baby is going to be so lucky to have you and your family around them.

Good luck