Social services referral?

[Kat140]

Hi so I had a midwife’s appointment today and she said that she has to refer me to social services because of my age, I’m 16 years old and will be 17 having the baby. I’m just wondering if this is true as it’s never happened to anyone I have spoken to that has had children younger than me?!
May I also add that I have no involvement of social service and never have nether has my baby’s farther and when the baby is here she has no threat to harm agains her and will be well looked after.

You are young, foolish, impulsive, selfish...and that isn't a criticism. It is what you are supposed to be at 16
Very stereotypical! My 16 yo daughter was nothing that you describe. You have no idea if that applies to OP. It might not be meant to be a criticism and it is quite judgemental.

Do you live in the wilderness? Is your closest neighbour 99 miles away?

Try not to worry its unlikely the referral with go any further than screening unless there are things you haven't told us about. You may get a call from the social worker screening the referral and be offered support via early help as social care don't have the resources to be assessing people just because they are a young parent.

Im surprised that your midwife wants to refer you just because of your age. That really isn't common in my area. Did they ask for your agreement? What's likely to happen is that children's service will get the referral and if they think it meets the level for them to be involved ask for your consent to make enquiries. Then ask for consent to do an assessment which you can always say thanks but we have good support or ask for signposting. However on the information posted I don't think it will meet their level of involvement they might offer early help or signposting. Have you thought about getting involved in any local young parent groups or your local children's centre? The only way children's service can get involved without your agreement is when they are safeguarding concerns.

Any female "much younger than you" is a girl - a child who can't even consent to sex.

@KaySam it's not the ops fault they are hot on safeguarding today. Your daughter's 15 year old wouldn't get away with it if she got pregnant.

This is standard procedure because legally you are still a child - please don’t worry.
Congratulations

Unless things have changed drastically since i had my eldest, this seams bonkers to me. I was 2months off my 16th birthday when i got pregnant with my oldest, didn’t know until 2months after but never even had as much as a SS referral and never heard of anyone ever having 1 before unless there has been previous involvement with either expectant parents or family members who the baby might be living round. I would just cooperate and do what needs to be done, get them off your back then make the best life you can for your baby. You will have people tell you your lifes done before its started blah blah, but it definitely is not. Not to mention all the judgy ones ☝🏽 children having children, teenage parents not having a clue. My son was the making of me and i would definitely not be where i am today if it wasn’t for him.

@Kat140 completely understand the nervousness about SS, but I’d take the offer of any help they provide.

Also, please don’t take all the negativity about teen mothers to heart.

My mum had me at 16 (dad was 19), and she is an absolutely incredible mother - I honestly don’t know better. She poured love and kindness into my brother, dedicated time to helping us learn both educationally and emotionally. When we were a bit older she went to uni to gain her education and went on to become a very successful member of SLT at a couple of secondary schools.

Her and my dad were together until I was 11 where they separated simply due to the fact they’d both got older and changed during that. They parted amicably and always held me and my brother as a priority, co-parenting before it was a buzz word.

My brother and I have both gone on to have successful careers, both have great relationships with both parents and most importantly are happy and healthy. And as young parents they are young grandparents, even though I am an older mum.

You can achieve so much with love and determination! Wishing you and your new family all the best.

I had to do a young parenting course while my husband was in intensive care because we were 19 having our baby.

Those who are saying it's normal to be referred on age alone: what is your basis for this information? Or is it just what someone has told you once? Because this is genuinely not happening in any area I've worked in in the last 20 years.
As I've said, I'm a midwife. We do not need to refer for a 16 year old with no other concerns. A safeguarding document (called different things in different places) will be made, but that is for the hospital record so that those who provide care throughout the pregnancy have any relevant information when caring for you and baby. It isn't a referral to Social Care. It's just a hospital record and will be sent to the safeguarding midwife (or team) GP, HV and named midwife, and uploaded to any online record used.

For the PP who said 16 year olds in college can't be earning much. They definitely can. My son at 17 earned 15k (in 2019, so would be a lot more now) working 3 night shifts a week at a supermarket. He earned so much whilst still at college that child benefit did a compliance check on me 😂. You'd be surprised at what these young people can earn! My son was rolling in it, with no overheads to pay for!

No live in one of the biggest towns in the northwest, she stopped seeing the health visitor after she was told her child would get bullied for being overweight (the child was 8 months old ) never had a health visitor contact her again.

It’s normal tbh for young mums , engage with them, you will need all the support you can get, when the baby comes , it could be of enormous help
they aren’t “ out to get you”
but could be really helpful for accessing stuff all new mums need

I had my son when i was 16 glad i did id wouldnt cope with a baby or child now.
Im now 38 my son is 22 this year moved out getting on with his own life.
I now have no responsibility only for me i travel alot and love it.
Just because you are a young mum dont mean you cant do things.
I had all the stigma anyone could throw at me.
I never had CM either.
I missed out on so much LIKE WHAT i loved being a mum i enjoyed it.
I built my selfs up from nothing being the young mum on benefits living in a flat in cambridge to a good standing career owning my home out right and now living in thailand.
My sister was my biggest bully she now has 2 kids around her feet 10/3 shes 43 and all she wants is help and constantly moaning how hard it is.
And still hates me because its not fair 🙄glad i left the uk tbh.
Op its hard work being a mum but you can do this no matter what stigma you face keep your head up.

I’ve not said it’s the ops fault,but I told her it didn’t happen here so hasn’t always been the case social services get involved with a teenage pregnancy.

Is there really any need to be such a bitch to a 16 year old mum to be ?

Dont be rude we all make spelling mistakes lord knows i do.

@kaysam I'm also in the NW, and I'm also saying it doesn't happen in the units I've worked in. And I've worked across the area. 😊

There must be more to this / other factors than your age alone.

Honestly it's probably just a welfare check as technically you're classed as under further education legal age.The SS might be able to refer you to some resources to help as a young parent.

Congratulations OP,wishing you the best of luck.

Younger children not women! You’re a woman when you’re 18 and an adult. It will be because of your age. Lots of young mums are fantastic parents so try not to be too offended. Take as much help as you are offered. Prove them wrong and engage with any help they offer.

@Rosscameasdoody I'm pointing out a fact! It’s bloody ridiculous

If you think SS have the time and resources to be involved with every family where the parents can't spell then you're delusional!

@HaddyAbrams oh grow up. If you think that’s the only problem here you’re very much mistaken