Social services referral?

[Kat140]

Hi so I had a midwife’s appointment today and she said that she has to refer me to social services because of my age, I’m 16 years old and will be 17 having the baby. I’m just wondering if this is true as it’s never happened to anyone I have spoken to that has had children younger than me?!
May I also add that I have no involvement of social service and never have nether has my baby’s farther and when the baby is here she has no threat to harm agains her and will be well looked after.

I get it's scary, but they don't know what support is already in place. Csc aims to keep families together by giving support

You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, @Kat140 , and good people around you.

Good luck with everything, and congratulations!

Congratulations OP! You sound like a very sensible and proactive young person- what a lucky baby :) Try not to worry about SS- it’s just standard procedure for those under 18 to make sure they have the right support in place if needed.

I get multiple referrals into MASH daily that didn't get consent from families, or even inform them, from hospitals, schools, midwives, health visitors, social clubs, nurseries, family members, members of the public, anonymous etc.

And for UBB the level 4 doesn't have to be met. It is a far far lower threshold. Any previous history with social care - even as a child, any mental health issues (even anxiety and depression, or PND) any past DV (even past relationships from some time ago), etc.

Im not questioning you, I realise LAs are very different, but Im really curious to know - in your LA are you not required, under UBB, to refer in if there is any social care history, or vulnerabilities such as age, disability etc? We are inundated with these in MASH, and I know the midwives, and us social workers, feel very often they are overkill, worry safe mums and take up a lot of our time. Midwives often say how they hate having to refer in and have no concerns but have to do so. Is that not your experience?

Hi OP

This is pretty normal. They need to just check you and your baby have everything you need, including a support network etc. It sounds like your parents are supportive and you have a plan. But lots of 16 year olds who fall pregnant don't have any of that. So by default, if you're pregnant and a teenager, midwives will refer. It doesn't mean anything will happen. Your best bet is just to be open and speak with them. It's a good thing really - we don't want any young mothers to be left unsupported after all.

If we have a woman who is 16 and no other concerns - then no, no requirement to refer (I've worked in 4 separate NHS trusts, same across all). If we have any concerns then we can do an information request which will then guide as to whether they are known to SC and if a referral is required (although they usually just take the information from the request rather than needing a referral).
But it's even in the referral about consent being required.

@Kat140 Hi, I’m a safeguarding midwife. Our policy is anyone under the age of 20 is referred to the safeguarding team - this is to make sure they have all the support (emotional, financial, physical) before the baby is born to ensure a smooth transition into parenthood.
What we can’t do, is make a referral into the local social services without the woman’s consent. It would be a bit of a ‘red flag’ if they didn’t want to but if they otherwise engage with all aspects of care it’s generally fine.
You could ask if there is a specialist teenage pregnancy midwife, or something like a family nurse partnership (they stay in contact with you until baby is 2).
Being a mum is really hard work, especially when you don’t have a lot of life experience and you will be judged for it. But just because you’re 16 doesn’t mean you won’t cope or be terrible at it.
I would accept whatever help they throw at you, and then say if you don’t need it anymore.
Hope this helps, and congratulations!

Why are you being so peculiar? If you have nothing useful or kind to offer, surely you'd want to jog on and start your own thread?

OP, don't panic and do see it as a positive.

I had SS involvement when I had my daughter due to having had very severe antenatal depression (was fighting a court case against my employer during pregnancy) and they were amazing.

Came for a cup of coffee and a chat every week, she spotted early stage PND and it was sorted very quickly.

I got access to so much help and support and I actually sobbed when I had to hug her goodbye at the last meeting when DD was about to start school.

congratulations darling
whilst not ideal, you’ve got support around you and that counts for so much and more than I had at nearly 30!

take all the help SS offer, it’s not in their interest to split families up (frankly they can’t afford it!). So take the help they offer.
like I say, not ideal but there’s also positives to having them early especially if you can get a career under your belt at the same time as you’ve got the support.
I wish you well. I know you won’t be feeling it right now but MN can be a really really useful resource there’s some fantastic women on here ready to support you - although sometimes they can seem a little brash in response but they mostly mean well!

You don't need all of that though do you. I only ever had a couple of bottles and used Milton fluid as I breastfed. Never had dummies. Nursery furniture could be as simple as a cot. You don't need a change unit, Moses basket etc.

And most of it can be bought second hand anyway.

Interesting thanks. I stand corrected. In my field of work, they are adults from aged 16

It’s usually advised to buy a new mattress if you buy second hand cot.

Hey OP! Please don't take on board the comments regarding you being a child and being pregnant, as you said not ideal but it is what it is now and your soon to be a mummy =). I was 17 nearly 18 when i had my eldest and due to the dad having been in care growing up and our living situation, his social worker who he still saw from time to time bobbed in as I was told by the social worker when you've been in the system your on their books for support ect until 21 (or it used to be this way 13 years ago) I like you was apprehensive no involvement myself or anything so panic stations were going like mad. Actually all she wanted to do was provide any support she could. She actually helped us get a house although as I wasnt 18, dad was 20 he signed for the property and my family helped to kit it out (I realise I was very lucky to have this help and support). She popped in every now and again to see how we were through my pregnancy and then popped in for baby cuddles a couple of times once baby was born, once she saw I was doing ok and still had a great support network that was the end of it for me but like I say my situation was that the dad was in care so thats what triggered it for me. As I was 17 I was offered to see the teenage pregnancy midwife/team however I declined this as it was my school friends mum and she was the only one and as she was always talking to us about safe sex and not getting pregnant young I felt a tad embarrassed. I like you was on the pill when I got caught pregnant with my first. It certainly wasn't what I had planned but everything worked out just fine and I'm now a happy mummy of 3 beautiful kids age range 13 to 1! . Please don't fret as others have said they can offer a good range of help and support but I realise the stigma around social services and that peoples minds instantly go to 'they want to take my baby'. Get yourself well prepared for little ones arrival make sure you've got all you need for her and maybe read a couple of pregnancy/ once babies born books if you haven't already done so and show them that your reading up and gaining the information you need to be the best mum you can for your baby. Hope this helps. I'm in no way trying to be patronising. Good luck OP x

Also meant to add in terms of items you need for baby. If your struggling to purchase them ( as it gets expensive) have a look on the likes of freecycle as there is always stuff on there and the various selling pages and sites available. you can get really good second hand if you need it. My eldest had most things second hand from my sister and others I knew but eventually I got myself into a position to purchase new things for her as she got older as she went to nursery while I went to work x

My daughter had her baby at 16 in 2018. No one involved Social Services.

I had social services involvement when I had PND and then again after my DH died, OP, and they were fantastic and very helpful. Don't see it as an automatic bad thing – take all the support you're offered.

That's a spectacularly dramatic post, @nodramaplz

Maybe meet them, have your Mum with you. Explain what you’ve told us here. They’ll shut the case and go away.

OP my local authority has a teen pregnancy team, they're really nice and supportive, they will make sure you know about any additional help you are entitled to especially with housing and finances, they can also support with parenting skills if you want it and I think most importantly in my area they have peer support groups, so mum and baby groups specifically for young mums, it can be good to have friends/meet people in similar circumstances to you

Hi OP, ignore the vile bullies on this thread.

I had my daughter at 17 in 2020 and was referred to SS. It was an automatic process for underage pregnancies. All they did was make sure there was adequate support for me, suitable living conditions, and they also helped me to deal with DD's father who was abusive.

They are not there to scare you or take your child away, trust me - their aim is to make sure you have the resources and support you need. We had visits once a week from a social worker who was lovely, she never once made me feel as if I was being interrogated or threatened. Just engage with them and don't be afraid to ask for help, it won't count against you.

Yeah me too same year as well I conceived at 15 though and the social worker distinctly said the reason for the referral was being under the age of consent. But maybe it's different for different areas I don't know
There is a special teen mum midwife team who are really helpful though so hopefully that's a thing in ops area. Mine kept visiting us until my child was two and at the end gave me a really nice photo album with all the photos she'd taken

@Kat140
I went to our local NCT (National Childbirth Trust) group when I was expecting my first. You might or might not want to do that! it was a bit like going to a middle class dinner party every week, with a load of couples in their 30s, but with a side order of gynecology mixed with alternative medicine, and usually no food. Antenatal classes of some sort are a really good idea, I might add, your local hospital will probably do some, probably for free.

However the NCT does do really good Nearly New Sales. We got loads and loads of stuff, almost all of it is barely used because babies grow so fast, and it is so useful having spares when they are tiny and wetting them all the time etc. And you can pick up some lovely buggy sets etc really cheaply (though they recommend getting the car seats new)

www.nct.org.uk/local-activities-meet-ups/nct-nearly-new-sales

I have to say, I really enjoyed browsing through stuff in the shops as well. It is so cute! But I bought most stuff second hand.

Congratulations.

I was pregnant with my dd at 15 had her not ling after my 16th. We never ended up with a referral but had loads of support like you. I also had my own house by the time baby was born. Was admittedly on benefits but I've continued to work hard like you want too and now I have a job ect. Dd is now 15 and that's a scary thought.

It'll be a new thing to make sure anyone young that needs support can get it. Sounds like you have the support you will need so SS will do nothing but a check then send you on your way.

The Social Work team and other people (college welfare/pastoral staff, for example) will be able to help and advise the OP on her rights regarding claiming the benefits she will be entitled to, housing, accessing childcare for her return to college.

Depending upon the rate of pregnancies to younger Mums in your area, OP, there may be a dedicated midwife and a consultant obstetrician (the doctor at the hospital 'in charge' of your care) who is often responsible for all the younger Mums. You may be able to access a younger Mums' antenatal group as well.

Have you done much reading about pregnancy, childbirth and childcare so far, @Kat140 ? There is a lot of information that you aren't likely to have heard before about what happens during pregnancy to you and your baby, nutrition to keep both you as healthy as possible, the tests you might have, what to look out for in terms of your health and what sort of choices you may be able to make regarding giving birth/what happens if you need help during labour or if you need to have a Caesarian Section.

You can also think about and plan how you think you would like to feed your baby - would you like to breastfeed or use formula from the start? Can you plan a safe place for the baby to sleep by you, somewhere to feed baby, somewhere to change them (a changing mat on the floor is fine - after all, if you get distracted and they wriggle off, they're not going to fall anywhere, unlike on a £500 changing unit), somewhere for you to be comfortable?

It's easy to see posts going on about how it's going to cost you thousands and thousands and panic about it, but babies do not have to cost that much. They need to be warm, safe, clean, fed and loved - this can be done with very little money. Babies don't care about whether you have the most expensive pram, cot or clothes for them (they're probably going to puke up and/or poo over them all the same).

Not everybody has a nice partner or parents, a safe place to stay or help to find their way around benefits and shopping and looking after themselves, especially when they are very young. They can also find it difficult to stay in employment or education, which then reduces their opportunities in the future. That's why Social Services these days are more proactive in seeing and supporting younger Mums from the outset instead of only getting involved once they're in terrible situations or worse still, never even knowing there's somebody out there that just needs a kind word and somebody looking out for them.

It's a good thing. They're on your side and on your baby's side and I hope you have a wonderful pregnancy with all these people around you to fill your baby's life with love.

Just because there is a referral it doesn’t mean that they will even visit.
having a baby at 17 is not a reason to have a social worker,