Due in September - over 40 :)

[Amuseaboosh]

Hello!

I'm 44 and have just found out I'm 4 weeks pregnant.

It's all a bit meh at the moment as I've been here before, multiple losses and all over 40. I'm putting it down to the quality of my old lady eggs!

Anyway, I'm back on that rollercoaster. I clearly love the stress of it all!

If anyone else is on the same rollercoaster or even in the same theme park, pop in and say hi ☺️

So…
my daughter is home from uni for the wknd and we’re away next week with family and they’ll guess, so we HAVE to tell her at 19 she’s getting a sibling!

We’re very nervous. Does anyone have any tips on how to tell her?

@snakebitesandsambucas youre telling me! I feel low, sick and tired, i wasnt expecting this! Its subsiding somewhat now, i am 10.5 weeks, so I'm hoping that's 'normal'

Does anyone else get the ligement pains when you have a big cough? I felt like i had them in the night, but i think its mostly related to being clogged up... 🙈😂 a very real problem for me lately!

@mrsh26 that is going to be some news! Is she an only child? Hopefully she will be super happy for you! Maybe just make sure you approach it as happy, good news- she will probably feed off whatever energy you give out! X

@justsarahinlondon indeed she is!!

I’ve got my last early scan today before my dating scan. Nerves are kicking in! Symptoms have been much more sporadic the last week or so, but when they hit, they’ve been mega!

Well I had my 20 week scan yesterday, I was quite anxious but everything looks good, so that's a big relief! Baby was playing ball luckily and in the right positions for them to check everything.

Slightly annoyed that every time I go to the hospital the appointments are so rushed (scan was running 45 minutes late, so we had to rush this time to get to nursery to pick up our daughter!). Also all the staff in the maternity unit seem to be disappointed on our behalf that we're having a other girl! Bloody cheeky!

I haven't been impressed with the service at all to be honest, I was just looking at private options but yeesh, expensive!
I had my 1st maternity apt on the 19th, was supposed to get a call that night with my blood test results but haven't heard a thing since! Every number I try and call just rings out - at this point I don't feel supported at all by the service whch is just sad really, I know they must be overrun but still.

I'd be so happy with 2 girls!! congratulations <3

@CrepituErgoSum, welcome! Loving your age!!! What a lovely injection of positivity into this thread. Congratulations on your surprise 😊
I’m so happy things are going well for you. It just goes to show, never say never! Please do keep us updated.

@DramaticFridge, I had the same at my booking in appointment earlier this week. I hope the carpel tunnel improves for you. Congratulations 😊

MrsH26, how are you doing? How was the scan? I have no tips other than, say it. I’m hopeful for you that after the initial what I presume will be surprised, she’ll be on board. The idea takes some getting used to, plus, your parents, having sex, it’s all a bit much! I'm sending you hugs and hoping you’ve had a positive outcome with your scan. ❤️

@justsarahinlondon, we literally are sharing the same pregnancy! I’m 10w 5 today too and am having the exact same experience with symptoms and being clogged up! It’s a ‘push’ at the best of times. I do get the ligament pain, too, especially if I shift position very quickly while lying down. Prune juice? 😁😳

@Evening Reflection, huge congratulations on a positive scan, and congratulations on your daughter. What a joy! Anyone with opinions or should I say commiserations on your family is legitimately to be treated as in one ear and out the other. I hope things keep going in the same positive direction for you 🤗

As for us, we are in that anxious waiting for NIPT results hell. I have convinced myself they will come back as high risk, and then my world will come crashing down. My DH keeps telling me to be positive, and I am, for the most part, but the stakes are so very high. We’ve never made it this far on our journey, we’ve seen an actual baby with arms, legs and an active heartbeat, I’m actually beginning to show and genuinely, I feel like the last 6 weeks have been a anxiety and worry central. I don’t dare dream about the future and actively stop myself from wondering about names, telling all our loved ones, how we’ll feel – there’s just so much. I so, so desperately want it all to be ok, but I know it will be what it will be. I know you ladies understand.
I must refresh my emails 600 times a day even though I know we will likely not get the results before next Tuesday, you never know though right. We went through our private scanning place, which we know have sent our sample off to Concepto. So, we are simply suspended in animation. The last scan we had last Tuesday showed all is well, but I’m starting to think what if the heart has stopped etc etc. What a joy I am! 😫😫😫😫

Forgot to @MrsH26 😊

@Amuseaboosh oh I remember that well, refreshing my email 100s of times a day waiting for the results! Ours was the SAFE test done by St George's Hospital. Unexpectedly we got our results on a Saturday, the midwife we used was very surprised and said they've never come back on a Saturday before. So you never know, they may come when you least expect them, fingers crossed for you!

Wouldn't that be super, I'll keep everything crossed, thank you 😊

Can I ask, before you got your results, I know certain chromosonal abnormalities are more challenging than others, did you think about Downs and if you'd proceed with such a diagnosis? I know it's a very personal question and a very personal decision, so please don't think you have to respond.

@Amuseaboosh I don't think we would have because we have no family support and my partner isn't a natural care giver, so I have to pick up most things childcare wise. I feel like it's already a struggle to keep all the plates spinning in life. Our motivation for trying for another was mainly to give our daughter a sibling, since she has no cousins or other close family, and we're older parents. Obviously no guarantee that siblings even get along though!

I understand, and thank you so much for sharing with me, I appreciate it.

You're right. There's no guarantee that siblings will get on, but at least you're creating the opportunity 😊

@Amuseaboosh it’s so hard to think positively isn’t it? There’s more chance for a positive outcome than not though!

I’ve had a very difficult week at work and been very let down by my colleagues, but it’s being handled.

Scan was perfect. Measuring bang on 9+5, little arms and legs, perfect heart beat and we even saw the little bean having a good shuffle around! I’m relaxed and reassured enough to have bought a little outfit and gotten my knitting needles out!

Dating scan 2wks Monday and after a shift tomorrow, I’ve 9 days off. A trip to centre parks and some very much needed relaxation.

@Amuseaboosh ah good old prunes! I've been having a glass a day plus 5 or 6 actual prunes. It worked at first, but now it just seems part of my diet! Yesterday, I made a little opening in the prune, added a little peanut butter and a drop of honey - it actually tasted delicious, so I've at least found a way to up the dose! 😂😂😂
I'm a little behind you 10w 4 days today, but what are a couple of days?!
I'm really hoping you get great test results, I can't imagine how challenging things have been, and hopefully, this is a new chapter 🙏 ❤️. For what it's worth, my husband and I have considered DS and think it's something we would continue with, considering support and developments nowadays. It's definitely a very big and life changing decision, though

@MrsH26 I LOVE the sentiment that there is more chance of good! Definitely what I am trying to channel, but I also needed to read that!
I'm so glad to hear everything is good with your little one 💕 I really can't wait to see an actual baby in there. It still feels surreal!
Good luck telling your daughter this weekend!

Telling DD went better than expected! She said she’d been waiting for us to say something like that. There are no tears and she’s chatted about it this evening.

very relieved

@justsarahinlondon I can't deal with the prunes anymore. They're making me gag! My symptoms ease, and I think, 'oh, this is good', and then they ramp up again! I've had a scan this afternoon, baby is measuring 11 weeks and 1day. All seems fine on the face of it - I'm hoping to get NIPT back by Tuesday.

@MrsH26 I'm so pleased sharing your news went well. Small steps all in the right direction.

I hope you're both enjoying some bright sunshine wherever you are ❤️❤️

I truly wonder if we are living the same life. I hope whatever the issue was, you were supported and understood through it and that when you're back on Monday, you have a positive start to your week. Stress is hardly required at the moment!
Last week was crap at work for me, too, and ditto with the letting down by colleagues - mine gossiped about my pregnancy. One person listened in on a private call in a separate room when I was confirming my midwife appointment, and even though I made it very clear that it's confidential, the news was spread then gossiped about in a negative way and forced my hand to speak with HR meaning I had to disclose the pregnancy. Disappointing doesn't even begin to cover it, and the origin of the gossip was someone I have mentored extensively and helped them to progress.

We really could be!!
I’m a midwife and a colleague in a different department found my name in the records (I’m guessing by accident) and went snooping. Queue several other colleagues having a look and then gossiping started. It was escalated to the senior team and I’m hoping it’s contained. But clear breaches of confidentiality! I need to trust my colleagues to care for me, but at present, I can’t even trust them with confidential information!
It’s kinda heartbreaking!

I have 9 days off now though, and then i‘ll almost be at dating scan.

@MrsH26

I'd be very tempted to report to IT. Thats a sackable offence (as I am sure you know) in the NHS

It’s fully incident reported and being investigated by the matron

Oh, this is awful!!! Truly, truly awful - what's happened with me pales in comparison (my background is Legal) because as Maternity, your colleagues would MORE than know about how private and often scary and stressful early pregnancy is and confidentiality would be top of their professional conduct list!!! I'm actually floored.

With my colleagues, I've questioned their professional conduct as it's a huge area covered by the SRA that all practitioners are subject to, and ethics is a core part of that.

I'm so pleased you have 9 days of respite - I absolutely feel for you.

What do you have planned for these 9 days? 😊 and have you had your date through for your 12-week scan? I have mine, but I'll be 12 weeks and 5 days when it takes place. I hope you're being well loved at home, sending big hugs your way ❤️

I'm so sorry to read those last few posts! I would be incandescent with rage! Pregnancy is stressful enough let alone gossip mongers and work colleagues knowing so much. Glad your getting your 9 days! Seems like such a long time since my dating scan!!! I'm on heavy duty 💊 for a chest infection keep getting bad night sweats as well. If this is a peak into the menopause might skip it 🤣. Least the sun is shining. I'm imagining my cloth nappies drying on the line!!! @Amuseaboosh @MrsH26

I genuinely don’t have any words for how hurtful it was! Husband was working away that day too, so had to sit home alone and process it.

We’ve had a scary start to the pregnancy too, not even mentioning we hadn’t even told family. Got trust it will be dealt with appropriately though.

Thank you for everyones kind words.

sorry you’ve had a similar experience @Amuseaboosh extra stress really isn’t welcome is it?

12+1 is my dating scan, 2 weeks tomorrow

@MrsH26 I would definitely push for it to be taken seriously. Sometimes it can get brushed under the carpet. I'm not surprised feeling vulnerable already and it happens. Hopefully it will pass quickly. Maybe book yourself a pregnancy massage after? That's what I did to help me a milestone treat!

@MrsH26 wow that's shocking, you would think midwives would know better than to act like that! Totally think you should push it further as well. Especially as they are meant to be caring for you soon.

@Amuseaboosh it is so nerve wracking waiting for the NIPT. I'm in Ireland so a different system, I paid privately and they send the tests to Germany and it takes AGES, up to a fortnight to get results, I was obsessing so much while waiting, it was torture. My doctor's receptionist is lovely and actually phoned me up personally late at night, the same night we had the big storm here, to let me know it had come back ok. She was thrilled for me. Fingers crossed it's all great news and you can relax a bit.

For the constipation I tried a few things but the best has been the Fybogel tablets, you take up to 3 twice a day (so max 6) and they really work. Also prunes, dates and apples seem to help things along. It is the worst though.

I have my 20 week scan on Wed this week so that's another thing to worry about...

I got my screening results back. 1 in 1100 for DS which I think I am happy with as my age obviously has an impact now.