September 2024 - Thread 11

[luckyfaith]

New thread 😊

@WinsandSam sympthies gurl.. we have a crying/wind/colic episode up to 5/6 times a week too!!! It’s insane. I will say the colic calm from the pharmacy has saved our bacon. Gets up every bit of wind if that is the smallies issue. Gods speed, it’s not easy chick!

@FuppinNora id only love to go again but I’d have a better chance of winning euro millions 😂😂😂 my fella is years younger than me so he has time where as my clock is ticking and I don’t think he gets it 😂🙈 In saying that gimme a few months when this one gets active and I’ll prob change my tune lol! Oh wow you’d an awful time with your poor wound. Isn’t the postpartum period just a rollercoaster between ourselves healing and being responsible for a newborn, sleep deprived and throw in colic/upset babies in the mix!! I must stock up on the calpol for my small one in a few weeks I’m dreading the jabs, my first used be like a briar for days after 🙈

@WinsAndSam bless you, that must be tough. It's so hard when they are inconsolable.

@PinkWatermelon88 Aaww it's so horrible isn't it!! Never heard of that. If it continues I'll have a little look.
Literally nothing can console her at times. A bath works, but only for the time she's in. The second she's taken out it starts. She even falls asleep but wakes every 10 mins whimpering and crying 😢

The only thing keeping me sane is that she's ok most of the day.

It’s the very worst @WinsandSam … you’d do anything to take it away from them 😭 hope ye had a good night x

@PinkWatermelon88 think she wore herself out as slept for 6hrs!

I haven't commented here in ages but I'm nap trapped right now and finding so much comfort reading about everyone else's reflux and sleepless nights...

Sending strength to everyone! We are battling with feeding... Either my supply is a little low and/or DD is not transferring efficiently. She is often hungry even after feeding, but when I pump I seem to be producing enough. We've had the lactation consultant and have been supplementing a little bit here and there with pumped milk, but we're not out of the woods yet. She's being weighed next on Monday so we'll have a good idea of how we're doing.

@PinkWatermelon88 I am so sorry for your recent loss.
Also our girl hated sleeping in the crib and was always in our bed, until the paediatrician recommended heating her bed a bit as she was missing our warm arms! We have a cherry pit pillow that we heat up and put into the cot while she's feeding and put her swaddle sack on top of it. She drifts off while feeding and when we transfer her to the crib, she doesn't notice the temperature change and stays asleep. Every baby is different but I thought it might help to suggest heating the surface up before putting her down.

Does she wake up when you zip her into the swaddle sack @sorchanim? I’ll try that idea…

I also have a screaming baby at night. Getting hardly any sleep. My other half doesn't believe it's colic and won't give drops as he says she brings up wind easily. He thinks she is just being needy and wants picking up. She cries when in crib even after putting her down asleep. Cries when you hold her. No consoling her. I'm literally in tears myself every night and most days. How long will people leave them cry?? Because I just can't do it but he can. It's causing tension between us too. I honestly never thought I'd struggle this badly..... My daughter when I was 18 seemed a breeze compared to this 😓😓😓

@TripleESept24 I'd never leave her to cry. Babies don't cry because they're needy, she's obviously in pain or not getting a need met. Sorry that your partner thinks that as it's not going to help how you feel.
Have you seen the doctor for yourself too? You shouldn't have to be crying day and night. Baby will know you're not ok too and pick up on your sadness and stress. Sounds like you need some support more than ever now

could she have reflux @TripleESept24? Is she formula fed all the time now? It is similar symptoms to colic and may be why she doesn't like lying down. Or allergy to milk. I agree with @WinsAndSam babies aren't needy at this stage, there is something bothering her. Obviously it is ok to leave her cry if you need a break or need to do something but they are too young to be manipulating attention. Explaining about the 4th trimester helped my DH

Maybe speak to your DH and say to him that she needs colic drops for your sanity and to try it for a week. Be firm. Tbh I wouldn't even ask I'd just buy it and start using it.

I get where you are coming from with the 1st being easy, I too have a big age gap- my 1st was very placid and sleeping through the night roughly at 12 weeks. While this baby is fairly good he is very much a velcro baby and sometimes there is no pleasing him! I am anxious when going out with him as I'm not sure when he is going to kick off and there is no pleasing him even with car on! Many times I've been lumping him around and pushing the buggy and sweating in the shop!

It is so so so hard when they are crying non stop and you are sleep deprived. You need to do what's best for you. Have you tried a sling during the day?

Also get colief as that breaks down the sugars in breast and formula milk. Infacol helps with wind. My DS was like yours, no problem getting wind up so when I used infacol it actually made him worse!

Im so sorry you’re experiencing such hard times @TripleESept24 . The newborn stage is so hard even with the best support in the world so it must be tough to feel unheard. I don’t leave my children cry. At the newborn stage they cry as they’ve an unmet need as someone already mentioned. There is no way for a newborn to manipulate parents as the superior parietal cortex responsible for manipulstion doesn’t develop until teenage years.

Colic is a name given to a crying baby but it’s worth going to your gp and investigating more. Is it trapped wind? Is it reflux? Is it protein allergy? Could be a number of things and so some drops may not work as they may not be treating the right symptoms. But both your baby and you deserve to know what’s going on.

You may also benefit from a gp visit too to talk about how you’re feeling. Do you think you have pps/ppd? Look after yourself as best you can friend. Can you get support from anywhere? Find a baby free hour next week sometime and do whatever the heck you’d like? Hugs x

@sorchanim she might just be digesting it super fast during a period of rapid growth? I'm prone to oversupply so I know my DS is getting loads but there's some days when I'm just sitting down every 20minutes it feels like. And as soon as he's done he wants to be bounced around the kitchen so I can't even get cozy with a movie. 😂

Someone on this thread had the brilliant idea of weighing yourself with and without the baby to get an idea of how much they weigh - have been doing it loads. 🙌🏻

Love the hot water bottle trick too - it really is a game changer!

@TripleESept24 that sounds so so awful I'm sorry you have to experience it. I agree with your instinct - babies should never be left to cry. They just don't have the skills to self soothe, it's wishful thinking.

Think @lemonsherbert86 was going to go to an osteopath for her baby and it might be worth a try too? Especially with an assisted birth. 🙈 I really regret not taking my first after a forceful kiwi cup delivery. He was very similar to your little one and cried unless he was being held, especially when down flat or in a car seat. Did a lot of research before baby #2 because I was terrified of going through it again, and there's a lot of benefits after forceps or suction deliveries.

Either way I reckon a GP visit for you both would be no harm. PPD really does creep up and especially when you're having a rough time with a colic-y baby. This period is hard even without a constantly crying baba. 🙈

@sorchanim thank you for your condolences. I messed up the arm-to-bed transfer every time I tried last night. So we try again tonight and get through today with a bucket load of coffee and a morning sea swim to dust the cobwebs x

@Decaffe We only transfer her when she's properly asleep and she normally shuffles ever so slightly but sleeps through the zipping up.
If she's not already asleep, she does nod off eventually if she's not hungry and if she's tired enough. Our room has an external shutter blind so it's pitch black and she does sleep much better in the dark than during the day when she has things to look at!

@PinkWatermelon88 You didn't mess anything up - it's not your fault that baby likes to sleep a certain way! Hope the sea swim was rejuvinating! I'm from the coast but living abroad in a city and would loooove to go for a coast walk and get some sea air 🙂

@kc92 @TripleESept24
I took mine to an osteopath on Friday.
She asked loads of questions about my pregnancy, the labour and birth and the first few weeks.
Then she did some gentle exercises with the baby to assess her range of movement and came to the conclusion that there is some tension in the abdomen and one of her shoulders. She did some exercises to relieve the tension and then gave me some to do at home.
She has been a lot more settled since. Even my husband has admitted it and he was very skeptical. She is still spitting up but doesn't seem in discomfort. Getting more time to interact with her rather than just comfort her and even getting some smiles is making a world of difference.
I'm going back in 10 days. Then I will
Probably leave it at that as it's not cheap!

I should say she was an osteopath that specialises in babies and apparently there is a difference between osteopaths and cranial osteopaths.
I'll also add that after the appt in the morning, she spent the rest of the day spitting up loads and did a green poop - the improvement only came the day after.

It's not for everyone but I thought it was worth it.

Thanks everyone for replies. When I say "leave her cry" I don't mean for like half an hour but he will for 5 minutes or put her down crying when she is inconsolable. Where as I just want to pick her up and try and comfort her all the time.

When he says needy he means the term on here of "velcro baby" which I'd never heard before! Just that she's very clingy and wants to be on you or in your arms all the time. She is normally ok once you pick her up/bounce her etc just seems at night she is less likely to settle and cry more.

He sent me this .....and said but she isn't Sick/hungry/soiled nappy when she's crying.

I would rather KNOW that there is nothing bothering her for sure, do we have our 8 week post natal check up with our GP? As that's soon and I will be sure to mention everything and get her checked. I feel like my health visitor has been useless!!
Reflux.... Not sure she isn't overly sicky tbh.... She is keeping her bottles down and putting on weight now.....

One thing is she can go 4/5/6 days with no poo. This week she has a poo on Wednesday at 5am, then again on Thursday at around 7pm. But hasn't had one since, and like I say has gone up to 6 days before. It's been mentioned to HV but they don't seem too bothered as long as she's having plenty of wet nappies.... Which she is

@TripleESept24 if your 8 week check is soon definitely say it to the GP and see what their recommendation is. My first was a Velcro baby and the quickest way out the other side I found, is to lean in to it. A strong secure attachment style leads to more time on their own independently IMO.

I think your instincts to soothe her are spot on.

Just on what he sent you as well, I'd be really wary of taking parenting advice from an AI overview on a search engine. 🙈 They're compiled via keyword trawls of websites rather than from soly reputable sources. They're only snippets, often taken out of context, and it also really depends on the prompt. I entered this into Chat GPT and got a completely different answer.

For the nappies, is she still getting breast milk? That's a laxative so if so I wouldn't worry but if not, baby massage on the tummy and legs had my DS poop 4 times in a row yesterday. 🫠 All while my DH was out so the nappy changes fell to me.

@kc92 she is still on breast but not getting much I don't believe there isn't a flow she's not swallowing much. She pooed again at 4.15am this morning......

Had a much better night!! She slept after 12.30am bottle from 1am ISH until 4.15am! 3 hours straight IN HER CRIB!! 🙌 Changed her nappy then another bottle and back in her crib from 5ish till 7am.... Another couple of hours!! Feels like a massive achievement/improvement but aware could be a one off, not holding out that it will be a regular thing 😆 but would b nice.

Also can anyone recommend a sling? Would be easier so I can get feeds made and stuff done when on my own

I have the momcozy carrier..... But slings seem different and she still seems very small in the momcozy one when we tried to put her in it so haven't used it yet

I've got the cloth sling that you can tie around you and leave it on all day so you can pop them in and out when needs be. Fairly easy once you tie it once or twice. There are other ones that are tied for you.

Woohoo that's brilliant she went down in crib. Take the win!

@lemonsherbert86 do you mind me asking why you went to an osteopath? I'm considering it for DS constipation. Also if you don't mind how much approx is an appointment- like are we talking under 100 or am I way off on pricing! I don't want to ring up somewhere and they tell me 300 and I'll have to tell them I'll stick with the constipation 😂

@FuppinNora 🤣🤣I know what you mean!

I paid £68 and I'm in Manchester (I assume it will be dearer in the South). Subsequent appts are slightly cheaper.
We went for reflux which was making her really unsettled.
It would probably be worth ringing one to see if they can help with constipation as I'm not sure. You don't want to pay all that for an appointment only to get there for them to tell you they can't help 🙈

@TripleESept24 that's amazing re the sleep!! Ruby randomly started sleeping 3-4hours in her crib and it was a game changer. I hope you get more nights like this 🫶🏼

I have a koala sling and use it around the home. Means I can get jobs done and allows for contact naps. I got it off vinted as washable. Best £15 spent

I have a free rider sling which is a soft one and basically just one long strip of fabric.
I tend to use the bjorn more though as I feel it gives more head support. I think it's meant for outdoor use but I use it in the house all the time and means I can actually get through the piles of washing and ironing!