September 2024 - Thread 11

[luckyfaith]

New thread 😊

Those of us breastfeeding still, are any of you starting to get unpleasant comments or criticism from friends or family about still doing it/how long you plan on doing it for...?

My mum keeps telling me I need to stop, I need to taper him off, he doesn't need it anymore, and that its becoming, direct quote here, "gross".
She literally called it gross.

She said I'm going to make him into a "mummy's boy" and that my aunt did it until the age of 2 with her boy and my mum thought if was gross (I'm also planning on going until 2 as that's when the benefits of doing it come to a stop)
She even made a face of utter disgust!

I just don't know how to deal with it, or navigate her being like this...
Surely it should be up to DS and me how long he breastfeeds for?

I've told her upfront the NHS says it's beneficial till the age of 2, and that he still wants it, but she just turned around and said "no he doesn't, you do" and that she doesn't care what the NHS says, emphasising again that its gross and he's too big for it, and mocking me for "googling" things as I've been researching a lot since having DS and I've become the butt of every joke for it...

Because of course, God forbid I want to do right by my boy by checking with the NHS website for things!

Just getting really quite sick of being trodden into the ground frankly.... feel like absolute shit.

Am I alone in this???

I'm still breastfeeding and no I don't get any negative comments at all, but I'm not British. My family are from continental Europe and I live in North America and I'd say BF after 1 is very very common in both areas. I think 40% of women in the US still BF after 1.

I'm a lawyer and even though mat leave is technically only 3 months, most women pump for a long long time.

My DH is British and when we went to visit the UK back in March, all our friends were surprised I was still BF at 6 months!!

So I think there is a cultural element that you are fighting against.

Just be very matter of fact about it.

Tbh, how does she even know? At 1, BF is morning and evening and the odd midday feed.

Oh wow, really?! I didn't know that, thats quite shocking!

She likes to drop in unannounced, usually around 2pm which is right after DS has finished his lunch and is dosing off with some after-lunch-boob for his midday nap so unfortunately she sees relatively regularly :/

He has boob to sleep, he won't nap otherwise- but on the off chance he's already asleep when she drops in its usually not been for very long - at which point she'll purposely talk loudly to wake him because she "wants to see him" but will then act shocked when he wakes up miserable, cries and grabs at my chest for more boob!

Its incredibly frustrating and just makes me feel bloody awful 😩

@SpicyMoth ah you have a MIL problem, not a BF problem. She would find something equally hurtful to say if you weren't BF.

How do we have one year olds soon 😭some babies in here must already have turned one??

Currently party planning, and finding it stressful 😂

I found a lovely party dress I liked at h&m online but sold out in her size and all stores I've checked 😭 want something quite classic and not too fussy! Not sure where else to look....

Yeah my DS turned 1 yesterday, it was a very emotional day. I wasn't expecting it to be quite so pressured, I totally lost it and cried at least 3 times! We actually had an adult-only celebration at the weekend with our friends 😅 to celebrate our first year as parents and then did a family celebration yesterday with grandparents.

I know some mums doing proper parties where other 1 year olds are invited and I was like no way I'm doing that, I can't get my head around having 20 toddlers in my living room 😅🤣 I will hold off having parties with other kids for a few years until my DS can appreciate it

@TripleESept24 that's a cute dress!! I do find dungarees look very good too, my friend had her little girl in a cute pink frilly dungaree and it looked excellent in the photos

@SpicyMoththats shocking. Poor you! Sounds like bullying behaviour 😭 sorry you’re having to deal with that.
im still EBF and have zero plans of stopping.i want to until at least 2 unless she stops herself.
Ive had some comments as i bed share and feed to sleep. Like “why dont you sleep train” etc which wind me up. What are people’s issues with babies being babies nowadays?!

the percentages of women breastfeeding in the uk are so so low it’s sad. So keep going and do what’s right for your boy.

it sounds like you need to put some boundaries in place with your mum. As it’s really disrespectful and messing with your routine. Easier said than done I know.

@TripleESept24my girl turns one 20th September and we’re just meeting family and close friends at the local park for a picnic. Then we fly to menorca the following day 🙌🏻 a treat before I return to work.

@HuggingAnIcePack887i know I’m going to cry my eye out the night before and day of her birthday happy birthday to your little one 😭

Tysm @WinsandSamand @HuggingAnIcePack887- nice to know I'm not just bring precious about it, she makes me feel like I'm barmy for getting defensive and standing my ground with it!

Its absolutely bonkers its been a year already! Bear's will be on the 15th, and we're just seeing family - I'll bake a cake probably, but nothing fancy!
So excited for all of us!

@HuggingAnIcePack887 @WinsandSam I got the dress ordered on vinted after trawling through and finding one in her size!! 🥰🙏 Just hope the seller comes through now!

Party is Sat 20th, Esme's birthday is the Sunday 21st.

We have friends with babies similar ages coming and lots of family. 🥰

Jealous of your holiday @WinsandSam ! I turn 40 in January and am looking at booking a holiday for that 🙏

DS turned one today, well, yesterday, seeing as its 2am now.

I fully anticipated my mum to ruin it.
She did.
I am livid :')
Tried to make the best out of it regardless and I think DS still had a good time, but honestly I'm just so upset and angry.

Hope everyone else's little one's first birthday will go/has gone much better than my boys did!

@SpicyMoth the day is so loaded with emotions for you, as the mother. I surprised myself how tense and pressured my DS' first birthday was. I think it's a big milestone for us mums. Our lives and bodies have really been turned upside down, it's incredible what we've been through and something like a birthday really brings it out.

Have a nice glass of prosecco this week!

@SpicyMothhappy birthday Bear 🐻 I’m sorry it was ruined by your mum. I hope you have some nice memories from it! I wonder if you can celebrate again with just you, baby and your partner? Do something lovely together and class that as his real birthday x

Thanks to you both @HuggingAnIcePack887and @WinsandSam - we're thinking of maybe going out Sunday for a wee carvery or something so that Bear can have his own proper little meal in a restaurant rather than pre-prepared stuff brought from home, if we do I think you're right and we'll probably just think of that as his birthday instead ♡

I just can't get over my dissapointment and anger though to be honest, it was meant to be his special day and it ended up being all about her - I guess I just thought she'd put her feelings and wants to one side for the sake of her grandson, but nope :')
It hurts being so evidently wrong, especially about your own parent, you know? Doubly so when it should've been a happy day full of firsts and instead it was just tense and horrible!

@SpicyMoth People don't change, plan accordingly.

My mum is lovely and I do love her but she is not maternal. She wants to be, she really really wants to be that warm loveable grandma that bakes cakes and is surrounded by grandkids. She promised me she would come take care of my baby full time when I go back to work (I didn't ask, she banged on and on about it) and she was so excited about it. When she first came to visit and help, I was still on mat leave, she lost her patience after like 5 minutes with him. She was so spectacularly unhelpful, it was like a comedy sketch (you have to laugh so you don't cry).

Luckily I know her well enough to go hire a nanny in the meantime anyway.

Hi all!!

I know our thread is very quiet now! But I am having a bit of a rough time and wanted to see how everyone else's little ones were getting on!!

I hope everyone had lovely first birthdays 🥰

Esme had her one year vaccinations last Thursday 2nd October, ever since she has not been herself at all. Really crying and screaming throughout the day which is not like her at all she's never been an upset screaming baby.

She doesn't have a fever or anything, but she's just like a different baby!

She is teething too though she has 2 top front and 3 bottom, which she's never overly struggled with before.

Has anyone else had this?? I keep thinking is it just her teeth? Is there something else wrong?
She's fine at night she's slept through the night since around 7 months and she still sleeps all night it's just in her waking hours!

She eats 3 very decent meals a day I'm even questioning is she getting hungrier now she's walking and active? Or is she getting more tired and teasy because she's exhausted? We have bought her dinner and bedtime routine forward!

I am just really struggling seeing her so upset because she's always been such a happy independent little girl 😓. She also is NOT cuddly at all so it's really difficult to console her when she's in a bad way 😓

Xx

Hey @TripleESept24it is soooo quiet on here now. Sad really but also lovely as I imagine life is ticking along for some.

out girl had a lovely birthday and we went to Menorca for a week. I started back at work this week and hate being away from her.

we have Ruby’s jabs in the morning and I’m dreading it.

I will say with teething, the first 6 were fine! The next two were awful and she was crying/whinging/moaning for DAYS. Pure grumpy. Ruby also hates being cuddled when upset, it winds her up more.

you’re so lucky she sleeps!! I’m still woken up 3-8 times a night 🥱

@TripleESept24is she drooling much?
Bear's been a bit fussy since his, but he also has been drooling like crazy so I reckon its got to be teething! He has the same amount as your Esme, top two and bottom three, one of which has come through wonky 😬😬

The back teeth are the worst ones for pain apparently so I've been told, so my theory is it could be those!
Could be the same for your Esme maybe?

Has she hit a milestone recently too?
The other day Bear walked to me fully on his own, but he hasn't done it since, so I think he may well be frustrated at not quite being able to move in the way he'd like to just yet.

My HV also says that its common for little to get a case of the grumps when they're trying to learn a new milestone, or even if they've already learned it- it can be exhausting for them I'd guess, bless them!

Thinking if you both!!! ♡♡♡♡

@WinsandSam I hope Ruby's jabs go ok today! ♥️ And wow menorca! I hope she had a fab holiday! It's my 40th in January and I want to plan a little break!

@SpicyMoth so she is also drooling quite a bit yes, so I know she is teething too, but she has been for weeks. I just think the timing that ever since the jabs last Thursday she's just been crying so much ever since that day/night, and she was teething and drooling before that. That's why I'm more leaning to the jabs!

She started walking just before her 1st birthday (21/09) and she is now literally running around everywhere. Which is tiring for sure her dinner time bedtime etc has all come forward as she's way more tired.

I kept her dosed up on Calpol all day yesterday and she was so much better!! So she is definitely in some pain and discomfort, she woke up at 8 this morning, I didn't give it initially but she cried all morning all through breakfast and afterwards so I gave her some at 9am!

Gp is calling me this morning, see what they say!!

Here's a pic of Esme at her first birthday 🥰 when she was her normal happy self!!

@TripleESept24 awh she's ADORABLE!!!!! ♡♡♡♡ 🥰😍

Always glad to see a message pop up here!

We had our check-up and vaccines on Thursday evening. DD was totally fine afterwards and was in great form by the time we got home.

We got a call from creche this morning (Friday) that her eye was a little puffy... by midday it was so swollen it was closed! My partner took her to the doctor, by which time she also had a rash. She said she hadn't seen a reaction to vaccines quite like that before so suggested a paediatrician or the emergency room. We got a paediatrician appointment for 3pm so brought her there, and thankfully all okay and she got some antihistamines. Phew! They said it could be an allergic reaction to something other than the vaccines though, so I guess we'll find out soon if she has some kind of allergy... nothing so far though!

It also turns out that I'm pregnant again so we'll be dealing with 2 under 2 from Easter - aah! We had an appointment to the gynaecologist today for an ultrasound and because we'd just been to the hospital with DD we brought her with us. She cried during the scan because I couldn't hold her and to top her day off, she fell over in reception on the way out and was bleeding in her mouth! She is fine now and bedtime was lovely but what a day!!!!!

@TripleESept24 That is an adorable birthday photo! I hope things become clearer/easier soon. We have 4 teeth on top and 2 on the bottom and it hasn't been much of a problem, but the two most recent teeth definitely caused a little bit more fussing than before, and for a few days, not just a day or two. DD's appetite has been all over the place since she started walking, so unpredictable!

@TripleESept24 my DS reacts that way to dairy. We have stopped giving him cheese/butter as it was making him hyper, moody and moaning all afternoon. No other symptoms like vomiting or rash. We already knew he couldn't tolerate yogurt/cow's milk directly. He can tolerate baked/cooked milk in pancakes.

Teething usually disrupts night sleep, at least in our experience. We have 9 teeth plus 3 molars here!!! All 3 molars have come in the last 6 weeks so we have basically had very, very disrupted sleep lately. We call him Baby Shark 😂

@sorchanim oh wow congratulations!!! How exciting 😍 I wonder if anyone else here is expecting again yet, one of my friends who's daughter is a couple months older than Esme is!! 🫶 I won't lie I do get broody I have a 7 week old niece! And I'm 40 in the new year so do need to crack on really if we are going to have another!

@HuggingAnIcePack887 Esme hasn't overly struggled with any of her teeth and certainly no night time sleep disruption! Don't think hers could be an intolerance as she's eaten cheese yogurts and dairy and bread etc from early on and this behaviour is just the last 8/9 days.

Doctors yesterday said he can see she's super fussy, she screamed and wouldn't let him near her took about ten or more attempts to get her temperature and she didn't want him touching her neck etc! But no temp and he said the over fussiness can last about 10 days after the vaccine! Well we are nearly at 10 days so I'm hoping she improves soon 😓😭😓

@TripleESept24jabs were horrible as always, she SCREAMED!! She was really sad for 24hrs after, crying if I was not holding her. Think her legs hurt and she didn’t want to stand. She’s been fine since though.

i highly recommend a holiday abroad! Not relaxing at all but still lovely. 40th is a big celebration 🎉 I loved mine, I was actually pregnant but didn’t know. So enjoy waaaaay too many cocktails and prosecco 😂

Just catching up on the thread and@sorchanim congratulations 🎉 😍 will that be an 18 month gap? Such wonderful news!! How are you feeling? Do you know if it's a boy or girl yet?

I took a little break from the thread because I had a mini breakdown over sleep deprivation. I hit a big low over the summer, to the point any talk of sleep triggered me. 🙈 And then boom, DS had 8 teeth all of a sudden and now sleeps through the night in his own room. I feel like I blinked and it went from waking every hour, to sleeping like a log.

Thank god for his timing because I've been back at work full time for a few months now. It was a bit of a balancing act in the beginning, but we have brilliant childcare and everything has balanced out. I feel like I'm jinxing myself typing this, but life is pretty good right now! To the point I'm half considering joining @sorchanim in the 2026 baby club. 😂 I will no doubt change my mind as soon as the next teeth start cutting!

@TripleESept24 & @WinsandSam hope your babas are ok after their jabs now!