September 2024 - Thread 11

[luckyfaith]

New thread 😊

@SpicyMoth 🫶😭 I do feel you! That would annoy the hell out of me.

My other half also is very opinionated, not being funny but we are with our babies 24/7 and do the majority. Yet they are so opinionated. Sorry but we know best as mothers of our babies!!

Esme is also doing so well with her weaning!! Since eating food she has been pooing SO MUCH MORE! like 5 poos a day at least..... And she has awful nappy rash round her bum like the worst she's ever had it 😭 anyone else had this?

And last night we had 9.5 hours straight in her big girl cot in her room 😭🫶 so good! She's also on nap number 2 in there right now.....

@TripleESept24wow five poos is SO many! Good on ya wee Esme!!
Lucky if we get one atm, I think Bear's adjusting to the new consistency with a lil bit of constipation honestly - sadly I'm really no help with nappy rash, we've somehow managed Bear not having it even once!
But then again I really do SLATHER him in cream 😅😅🤣 DH calls it "the basting" lol so maybe thats why? We get through a lot of cream doing that though, ASDAs little angels nappy cream for anyone wondering :)

So how many little ones have teeth now?
Still waiting over here 😪
DM's been sying hes been teething since 3 months old ffs and lo and behold still nothing!

My friends daughter went the other way and was constipated with food too!! Esme poos more than ever! Haha.
We have always "basted" Esme in sudocreme. She's never really suffered with it the odd small bit but her bum is red raw!! 😭
We don't have any teeth here yet but I can actually see bumps in the bottom gum and they are very white. I feel like it has to be anytime soon! She's showed signs of teething for over a month xx

We had our first long haul flight recently, to visit family. Let me tell you, 11 hours with a 6 month old is hell. Pure hell. He was quite unsettled for the 2 weeks there and we blamed it all on the travel but by the end of it he had 2 teeth!! Poor thing was teething and it didn't even occur to me, so didn't give him calpol etc.

We had to do sleep training all over again when we got back but he took to it after only one night, thank god. Still exclusively breastfeeding but has almost dropped all night feeds (sometimes he wants one around 3 am, sometimes he doesn't).

we have started weaning and he hates carrots, bananas and mangoes 😅 it has constipated him generally, he only does one poo a day and he really has to work for it.

I have to go back to work next week (we live abroad, my mat leave entitlement was only 6 months, I stretched it to 7) and I'm quite distraught. I'll be pumping milk at work which will be quite the chore and not looking forward to it at all. I can work from home but only 2 days a week 😞

Ahhhh bless him with his teeth whilst away! Glad he got back into his sleep routine quickly.

Esme must be unusual 🤣 she's done 2 poos before 8.30am! All the veg has made her a pooing machine!

She's just decided in the last 24 hours she loves sucking her thumb 🤣

I'm going back to work 2nd may Esme will be nearly 7.5 months. I'm going back part time 3 days a week, one day at home 2 days in office! Also feeling a bit distraught about it hate leaving her.

@TripleESept24 is she alright other than the frequent poos? Is it possible she has an intolerance? Mine has a dairy allergy (although that makes him pretty ill, you'd know if it was that) but egg doesn't sit right with him either, it causes him a diarrhea and an upset tummy. He can only tolerate a bit of egg yolk.

@SpicyMoth living across an ocean from our families has massive downsides but it does mean I have zero interference with my parenting and it's bliss. We've just been to visit our families in the UK and I can’t tell you how much I wanted to come home.

Being scrutinised at every move is exhausting. I really really miss my family but especially as we've been on our own all the time, we found it incredibly stressful being around relatives trying to "help".

@SpicyMoth I felt your post in my bones. 😂 I had a lot of criticism on my first, and was constantly told I was overly anxious! Life got a lot easier when I started responding bluntly. Wrote myself a few one liners to use, like "I've researched this and I'm comfortable with my parenting choices" or "DC is thriving, I feel I'm making the right choices for him" and practiced until they slipped off the tongue every time I faced sh*t from other people. I had to hugely reconfigure boundaries with my family after I had my first, as they largely expected me to continue in my people pleasing role and that just doesn't wasn't what was best for my DS1.

My baba loves food so much he's on laxatives this week. 🙈 Totally constipated and in so much pain with it, it broke my heart!

& @HuggingAnIcePack887 best of luck with your return to work. 🤍 Sorry to be giving unsolicited advise right after complaining about it! But if you haven't already documented in email what you need to pump at work, no harm doing so. I was expected to express in the toilet or in the car when I went back on my first at 9 mths. 🫠

@kc92 the benefit of being in a country with very short mat leave is that they actually legislate for pumping. So employers MUST provide a private pumping area, with a fridge and a lock, and must give you regular breaks to pump (technically unpaid which is shit but they cannot make you pump in the toilet etc), until 12 months. And loads of women around me pump, it's quite normal here. The breastfeeding rates are actually quite high, surprisingly.

I would love to switch to formula tbh as pumping is a pain in the arse but baby has a dairy allergy and prescription formula is shit. So I have to just persevere.

She's absolutely fine other than lots of poos! Happy and content and sleeping well. I don't think she has any allergies, she's only had vegetables so far though and some apple pear and banana! Not tried egg yet.

The nappy rash has died down now!

She's just started sucking her thumb the last few days!! 🫣

This one’s 💩 has also slowed down since starting weaning. Only once a day when previously was about 4. She really strains and grunts too.

those of you who have babies who sleep well,

1. do they breastfeed?
2. so they take a dummy?
3. do you co sleep?

I won’t sleep train her as not for me. But am shattered with between 3-8 wakes a night. They’re brief now and can be a quick suckle and back off. We’re co sleeping now as I’m too exhausted in the morning if I have to get her out of the cot next to me

any advice would be greatly appreciated

Bear's in the midst of a sleep regression atm, but before then from about 3 months, maybe even before he'd sleep from midnight right through all the way till 8 am like clockwork - I honestly think it was just luck though as he's been sleep regressing for a good month or so, so now we're in a situation where he falls into a deep sleep around 8 or 9 then wakes 3 or 4 times in the night for a bit of comfort boob for 5 mins or there abouts then doesn't wake fully till 8am.

He's EBF, no dummy, no thumbsucking, no co sleeping as I was too anxious about it - my mum said when I was a baby I slept through nights, so there could be some degree of genetics to it honestly, as I've not done anything special by any means at all.

That being said though, he has had a full blown sleep regression this last month - so i don't even know if I still count as one with a good sleeper or not - I suppose it depends if he goes back to sleeping through or not, will update if he does or doesn't :)

My DH's theory is that he's not actually sleep regressing, but that he (husband) is just tossing and turning in bed a lot this last month and the creaks from our mattress wake up little one - I have no idea either way tbh ahaha 😅😅

If you have a telly or sound machine in your room, I'm sure it seems obvious but have you tried heavy rain noises?
We have it on constantly and it seems to help, specifically the ones without thunder have been the most helpful, they do black screen ones on YouTube so the light doesn't bother anyone :)

@WinsandSam my 7 month old sleeps through the night, 6.30 - 6.30, some nights he wakes at 2/3am for a quick feed (I'd say it's 50/50). On a bad night he also wakes at 5am for a feed and then goes back to sleep for another hour but he hasn't done that in the last week.

He's dropped a nap too, so he takes 2 long naps in the day.

Still exclusively breastfeeding. I put him down awake and he goes to sleep by himself. If he wakes before 2am, I don't feed him as I noticed he isn't hungry then. So we let him moan a bit but if it escalates, his dad goes in to soothe.

No dummy, he sucks his thumb.

We did sleep train and put him in his room at 5 months. Best thing we ever did. He cried 25 minutes the first night, never more than 15 minutes after that, even after travelling/ sick bugs when we had to re-train.

He was a horrendous sleeper until 5 months. It was horrible. Never slept more than 3 hours at a time, max. And cosleeping just didn't work, it actually made his sleep worse.

I don't want to pile on and make you feel bad as I know the feeling when everyone else's baby sleeps and yours doesn't. You may want to look at sleep training again.

@WinsandSam also, our paedetrician said that by 10 months, he should drop all night feeds entirely. Looks like he's doing it anyway but Dr advised to just go cold turkey anyway if he doesn't.

@SpicyMothruby also used to sleep fairly well, waking once or twice a night up until 3 months. It was all a trick. She also wakes super early now, between 5:30-6:30am. So sounds very similar to Bear apart from you get more of a snooze in the morning 😂

we have a white noise machine on with a heartbeat/womb sounds all night and have done since birth.

she always starts in her cot and used to stay until 4am. Now after 10/11pm she will wake and cry when she goes back in. Therefore we co sleep and my back is dead ☠️

@HuggingAnIcePack887 that’s amazing he sleeps through!!id take your bad nights over mine any day 😂 even napping is generally 30 mins and won’t be put down unless in the car or pram.

I could never put her down awake, she’d scream.
i also think she wakes more with co sleeping as wants to feed more as next to my boob all night.

each to their own but I really won’t sleep train, I’m a nurse and work with children who have mental health difficulties and attachment issues and its against anything i believe in. It’s just too damaging and traumatic to allow a baby to cry even for 20 mins. Plus research shows that after 1 year, sleep trained or not, sleep will be the same for each child….. but I get it as I feel desperate to sleep as it impacts my own health

@WinsandSam in the same boat at the moment so solidarity! Mine was only up 1-2 times a night on average until 4 months, then around 3-4 times, and currently we're on 6 times on average. 🫠 BF baby, plus uses a Dodie. Mostly in his own crib, but comes in to my bed around 5am.

I'm going to night wean using the Dr Jay Gordon method between 10&12 months, whenever I feel he's ready. I used that on my first, and it was nice and gentle, plus suitable for co-sleeping. I do feel sleep is mostly personality + developmental stage though.

Anecdotally, my 3 yr old was the worst sleeper. Somehow we got through that year, and he now sleeps mostly in his own bed and trots in at 6am every morning. My friends who sleep trained their first all have terrible sleepers to a tee. But on the flip side they didn't have to face a year of sleep deprivation so not sure who's better off really!

@kc92 ah yay, I’m selfishly glad I’m not alone 😂y friends baby is also 5 days older and a terrible sleeper. I definitely think it’s temperament. Telling myself it’s only a phase and she will also be an amazing sleeper as a toddler. I e survived 6 months so sure I can do another 🤪 I’d definitely be up for night weaning around 1, I wouldn’t stop feeds at night before unless she did it naturally. She’s a hungry/thirsty girl. So I’ll have a look into it! Thanks

I'm still checking in and so enjoying seeing how everyone is getting on! It's so reassuring to read all the different experiences of babies the same age as mine! My girl arrived in October so is one of the youngest in this group, she's turning 6 months this week. Still no teeth (and like others here I had people telling me a month ago that they were going to arrive any minute!). Not looking forward to that, but picking up bits of advice from this group.

I'm also abroad with no family around. She started creche the day she turned 5 months and I went back to work a week later. I've been pumping and I had a freezer stash, but they're giving huge bottles in the creche and my pump at work isn't as good as my pump at home and she's going through milk faster than I can replenish it. She'll be starting solids soon but of course a few nibbles at a time, so I'm going to have to start combo feeding soon with a bit of formula. I'll keep pumping anyway but I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to keep it up as it is tiring..., but we are noticing she's sleeping so much better with the big bottles of breastmilk. We gave her a bottle after her bath last night, a dream feed around 11 and she only woke once last night for a short feed and that was it. Other nights it can be a lot more. It kind of feels like I'm almost exclusively pumping now as there's a lot fewer live feedings, but enough to keep the bond going. And yes, pumping is very common and well protected. And yes, it's so hard being away from family but oh my gosh I love the space to do our own thing sometimes without anyone commenting or interfering. Still renovating too though, so wouldn't mind a bit of extra help sometimes!

I also saw someone say the partners have the strong opinions even though we're the ones putting in the work. I'm quite keen to keep going with breastmilk or even combo feeding, but my partner thinks she'll magically sleep through the night once she starts formula. But once I stop feeding, there's no going back so he'll have to do those night feeds!

I also think sleep is just temperament/personality. Our girl is happy to be put down and go to sleep on her own sometimes, other nights needs help, but we didn't do any sleep training so far and I won't be letting her scream (even though again, my partner thinks it's very effective and we should do it if we need to..).

So lovely again to read all of your experiences, thanks everyone for sharing!

Hi pals!!!! I just by chance checked the thread and saw 23 new messages I was delighted.

happy Mother’s Day to you all!!! I had a good/bad one. First as a mammy of 2, but the first without my own mam. So very hard but today is a new day.

i feel you @WinsandSam im in the horrors too. About 6 weeks ago I decided to wean from BF as I was up all night. C didn’t take to food much but was smashing back the bottles of formula and so every 4 days I was cutting feeds. And suddenly when the day milk disappeared she went bananas. Was only taking 1-2oz a time, no matter how long I left it between bottles. So she was starving the pet cos even if I gave her a bottle an hour it wasn’t enough. Saturday I put her back on the boob and am trying to bring back my supply. It’s slowly coming back and she’s so much happier.

But were still not sleeping. She’s a much calmer personality than her sister who didn’t sleep for 18m but I’m still up all night and near breaking point. She could latch on I’m not joking 10-15 times a night.

i too am against ST but I don’t know what to do. I hear so many reports of babies just “getting it” and am dev that mine isn’t one of those. I even went out and paid €180 the other day for a new cot and mattress as I wonder if getting her out of my bed and away from me will help?! Who knows.

youre not alone x

@PinkWatermelon88 that sounds like a tough battle with the formula introduction! My little one still doesn't love BF - he'd prefer to be a bottle baby I think. I was going to intro one or two a day again but he's so chronically constipated it's breaking my heart for him. Don't want it to get worse if I reduce the breastmilk he's getting.

@sorchanim great you're able to pump so much for her! I think if your partner wants to move her to formula only, you're dead right it's his turn to do the bottles! You've had nearly 6 months of night wakes, he can enjoy it for the same. 😂

For those of you that are having success pumping actually, what pumps are you using? I have the Medela swing solo and never get much out of it. Maybe 2oz in 10min and very little after that. And how often are you pumping / much are you getting each time please? Worried my boy is dehydrated because he's on a very long nursing strike during the daytimes! Think I'd have more peace of mind that wasn't impacting his poops if I pumped and gave bottles for a day to see how he gets on. Plus sleep would be nice!!!

@kc92 I have the Spectra at work and the Elvie Stride to pump in the car on my way home or if I ever need to pump at home. Flange size is really important to your output, too small or too big can really impact it. Also, morning is best. I pump ever 2 hours, I get anywhere between 2-5 US oz (more in the morning, less as the day goes by)

@kc92 I have an Ameda Elite at home, I live abroad and was able to rent that from my health insurance. They didn't have the Medela Symphony available at the time, but I guess they're similar ones. I have the MomCozy M5 at work.

At home with the double electric I can get 120ml out if it's replacing a feed when she's had a bottle (occasionally a bit more, up to 150ml sometimes). If it's after a feed I might get 60ml, or like 60 out of one and 10 out of the other! I get a lot in the morning and usually only 90ml at night. At work I'm often only pumping 50ml! Sometimes I get 100 or more, but I'm really not making a lot with the handsfree pump during the work day, and they're giving her bottles of 150ml-170ml at creche!!! She's 6 months tomorrow and she'll have the last of the freezer stash, so it's going to be supplemented with formula from next week as I just can't keep up!

We've also been giving her a dream feed of like 150ml at 10pm-ish, which has really been helping her sleep better at night. BUT I'm only able to pump 90ml or so at night while she's getting a bottle so I'm still supplementing from the freezer stash and also won't be able to keep that up next week, so if she takes well to forumla, that's what she'll get before bed!

@WinsandSam

1. Our baby is breastfed (for now)
2. She takes a dummy sometimes, not often
3. She is in a cot with the side off and pushed up against our bed. She's right beside me but on her own mattress, not in our bed. I can't easily feed her in side-lying, but I can reach over to shove a dummy in or pat her, and I don't have to get out of bed to feed her.

The dream feed has helped her a lot at night, as have the huge bottles they're giving her at creche (see above). She's not a particularly hungry baby and she's never been super fussy, she's always slept in her own bed and only needed SOME support, but she really does just have an easier temperament. I think hunger has determined her sleep for a long time, but I'll see what happens when we transition to formula in the next few weeks (and she doesn't have teeth yet so that's just around the corner!).

Sorry for the topic change, but has anyone had to cut their babies hair yet?
How do you go about it? Salon? Barbers? Do it yourself? Just wait till they're a bit older?

Bear's genuinely needed a haircut for a couple months to be completely honest, and now he's 6 1/2 months its actually starting to become a bit of a problem 😅

My husbands barber said to just shave his whole head but I'm really not keen on that as he's had gorgeous hair from birth and it seems such a shame to do... especially when the "first haircut" can be such a big deal! (And tbh to me, it is!)

I just need it out of his eyes and ears, I could try and just do it myself but I'm so worried about a sudden turn of the head and poking an eye out or catching him the wrong way with scissors 😬😬

Is shaving his head really my only option?
I'm hesitant to tie it or clip it as it just seems a very gendered thing to do and I know it sounds daft but I don't want to appear as one of those parents with an agenda pushing politics on a literal baby either one way or another! 😬🙈

@SpicyMoth omg WHY would anyone shave a baby's head???? I haven't had to cut my son's hair yet. When I was little, I remember my mum took me to a children's salon. They had chairs shaped like animals so you could sit on an elephant, or a dinosaur etc, they tried to make it fun. I wonder if they still exist.

Ooh I'll look around and see if thats a thing still! Many thanks!

I honestly don't know why anyone would want to shave a babies head, in my mind the razor noise would scare them shirtless!

I know my friends mum suggested it when she had a wee girl as it supposedly helps the hair grow, and my DH's barber suggested it for ease and also to supposedly help hair grow, but hus barber hasn't seen the state of my sons hair to know it very much doesn't need help in that department! Haha

As far as I know cutting ANY hair and at any age making it grow back thicker, better etc is a myth anyway? So God only knows why people do it other than ease!

I'm just so not comfortable with the idea, I don't want my wee boy to be shaved, he's such a sweetie, I'd hate to see him with the skinhead "tough" aesthetic hahahah, it'd be so odd looking imo!