Should I tell midwife that my father is a pedophile TW

[Lifeisanillusion]

Hello,
A couple of years ago I found out that my dad was looking at sexual images of children on the internet. I was living at home at the time and he has always been abusive so I reported him to the police and moved out, the police said they would look into it but nothing happened.

My sister has recently told me that my mum has caught my dad looking out of the window at the neighbors children and sexually pleasing himself. I have reported the incident to crimestoppers. My mum still lives at home but my mum suffers from severe agoraphobia and is scared to leave on her own.

I have recently found out that I am pregnant so I am now terrified after finding out this information. I have my first midwife appointment tomorrow and I am not sure whether to tell them what's been going on? Would social services end up being involved? I do not have contact with my dad.

Thank you

yes
and presumably you have nothing and i mean NOTHING to do with your parents (your mother included)

they will be impressed you told them
they will support you

Yes, I would think you should disclose this.
I hope it would help you access any support that you need too for you and your child, this is obviously highly traumatic.

As you don’t have contact with your dad and I’m sure you don’t intend to let him have contact with your child, then I would say there is no reason to tell the midwife.

If you and your sister want to take it further then there are other routes you can do this by but I would keep it separate from your maternity care.

please say this baby has a different father?

It’s OP’s father not the baby’s father

Yes, tell them. You will likely be contacted by Children's and Family's services so that they can assess the risk to your unborn. If you have no contact (at all) with your parents then that risk will be deemed to be low and you will be supported with ensuring your dad does not have access to your child after the birth.

Gosh, I’m so sorry, this must be horrific for you. I should say I’m no way ‘qualified’ to give advice but I think if I was you, given you have reported him, I would tell them. If you want you mum to see your child then I guess you’ll need a plan about how to facilitate that without seeing your dad (assuming you don’t want to see him).

We broke up and I have since got a new partner

Op, remember to make a will as soon as your dc is born, leaving care of your children to someone other than your parents, citing your father's unhealthy sexual interest in young children.

Put it in writing.

I posted it on 23/01/2023. We broke up straight after, he now lives on the other side of the country. I met my new partner just over a year ago.

You are stepping out of line here.
Please don't make assumptions or accusations like this.

If you don't see your father and don't have any plans for him go meet his grandchild then I wouldn't say anything.

i will back out then op

but yes tell midwife

She corrected you, you were wrong.
In any case it's not your business, give your opinion on what the OP asked then move on.

Unfortunately you can't go around calling him a pedophile if he hasn't yet been convicted of being one.

You have to tell them as if it’s reported to police then I think it would be flagged anyway. At my booking appointment I was asked about family and any concerns/history, I’d assume if reported to police, especially something like child abuse, it would be flagged. Either way definitely tell them and be transparent about the fact you found out and have reported it.

OP if you still see your mum, she must not be allowed any photos or videos of your baby.

I’m sorry…this is awful for you all x

Hiya, OP, sadly I've had to report something similar about my family.
The police can be absolutely, bloody useless about addressing this issue and I've heard from other channels that don't follow up or do so quickly enough. It's one of the most serious crimes and they don't act urgently alot of the time. In order to protect a child in my family, I went both to the police in person and through a charity organisation related to protecting those in this situation. Even then, I'm not sure they are acting enough. Bloody useless.

Well done for reporting to crimestoppers, it can be an emotional war inside yourself to report a parent or someone you love to the police.

Of course you can! He is.