Due March 2025 thread 2

[Zuzu2020]

Hi guys just making a new thread as the old one is nearly full :)

I'm feeling awfully anxious today because I see someone say they had a positive 14 week scan and baby died at 16weeks so now I'm worried and feel like I can't relax until I'm past 16 weeks. I'm 14+2 and had a scan few days ago and baby's fine but wow the overwhelming wave of anxiety and fear this has sent into me is awful. I'm just trying to think no one I know had mc after 12 weeks so I'm trying to stay positive and relax knowing it's very rare but tbh I've just been in bed all day moping :(

@Ellsx6 thank you, we are cautiously optimistic with this one.

So sorry to hear you’re so anxious and I’ve seen your posts before I literally cannot believe the amount of trauma you faced, I’m so sorry. Have you been offered any help in terms of a mental health midwife at all? I had one when I had my DS 6 years ago after a lot of miscarriages and my anxiety was through the roof - I couldn’t function. Even in later pregnancy I used to ring constantly and go in for reassurance scans once I got past 20 weeks, sometimes twice a week worried about lack of movement when really it was just my anxiety taking over. The mental health midwife was really really good, I had a session with her once a fortnight and then paid for my own therapy too in between.

Sorry if you’ve already done this, I just wanted to let you know it will be an option, I think all NHS Trusts have to Have this in place. X

@Jellybelly888 at my booking appointment with my midwife I told her about my crippling anxiety and how I'm struggling mentally with pregnancy. She said as I haven't struggled with my mental health before it's probably just the run up to 12 weeks and I'll feel better once I'm more in the 'safe zone' so she wouldn't refer me for a mental health midwife. Second trimester and still feeling really scared and it controls my days a lot :/ I see midwife at 16 weeks so will discuss with her again. I've never had a miscarriage before and I'm this anxious I cannot even imagine what you go through! I know it's very common to miscarry in the first 12 weeks and not so much after but I can't help but be scared. Sending love x

@Ellsx6 I think it's a good idea to discuss your anxiety with your midwife. It's very understandable especially given it's been a long journey to get where you are. Not sure if you've thought about this but pregnancy yoga might be a nice thing to do, I did it in the second and third trimester with my daughter and found it relaxing!

I have my own issues with anxiety in relation to things going wrong, due to previous losses etc and I am sure will do so for the rest of the pregnancy. A lot of the time though I tell myself it's out of my control and it will be what it will be, and generally focusing on all the work I'll have to get done before mat leave. I've noticed I've been pretty irritable though so I think I'm clearly a bit on edge whatever I tell myself!

I’m a therapist and have worked with mental health midwives as part of my work - in fact I’m in a forum with some at the moment (probably not the best for my own wobbles but hey ho) - I’d definitely recommend speaking to your midwife and see about getting that support- all the ones I’ve met have been brilliant and so dedicated to their jobs.

if anything , I’d wonder if you might be more vulnerable to the anxiety in the sense that if you haven’t experienced it before you likely haven’t got the tools to manage it as well as someone who has been with a therapist previously.

massively woo and hugely different to my usual therapy style /general existence - but what helps me is visualising the umbilical cord and trying imagine all sorts of peaceful lovely unwobbly thoughts going through it… like i think maybe baby knows when we are stressed so then I deliberately try to soothe the baby? And then that ends up soothing me? I don’t know if that makes any sense at all! I figure if nothing else it’s good practice for those days I’m super stressed but I need to deep breathe and navigate a toddler!

@Greymalkin12 @IMBCRound2 Thankyou for the tips lovely's! I think feeling alone doesn't help either..then again when I explain my worries to family and friends they say 'it's very uncommon you've got this far you'll be fine' but in my head it doesn't help because I then say well what if I'm in that 1%?! I'm getting on my own nerves let alone theirs!! I'm going to book a private scan for the weekend or something I think. It doesn't help when you're now in second trimester and all symptoms are gone..symptoms would weirdly satisfy me and make me believe everything's fine even though I know missed miscarriages they still have symptoms most the time! Weird how the brain works hey. I know it's out of my control which is quite really scary. It's been 4 years and I feel like this is my only chance of a baby finally and so scared it's not part of my plan and I'll loose it. How people go onto have a second baby is beyond me. I'm finding pregnancy gruelling on my mental health and will be so greatful just for this one baby and then never go through this again🥲

@Ellsx6 I totally get the anxiety thing. Although I don't think it's as bad for me.
In my last pregnancy I was so anxious, it sort of lifted a bit halfway through but it was there up until the end. I ended up having loads of scans throughout for various reasons. I forgot about this kind of anxiety until I got pregnant again and suddenly all those anxious thoughts came back again. This time it's slightly less than last time, maybe it's because I trust my body more because I've done it before?
But I still had this awful feeling of dread for the 2 weeks before the 12 week scan and came into it fully expecting bad news.
I hope the anxiety gets better for you, but I think you should see the mental health midwife.

I've just had my 12 week scan and it's all looking good. I was having so much anxiety and was fully expecting bad news so am feeling a lot of relief.
I've already told a few people and happy that I can now share with everyone else, I hate having to keep quiet about it.
Baby measured 12w3, I was expecting it to be 12w2 based on the US I had at 7 weeks. So they've put my due date at 15th March.
They weighed me for the chromosomal anomalies screening and I've lost 3kg since I was weighed at my booking appointment at 8 weeks!
They couldn't find any veins for the blood test so was there for ages being poked around until they found one in my hand. I only have this issue during pregnancy usually I have no issues with blood tests. Does anyone else have this only in pregnancy?

Hi, hope no one minds me joining. I’m 10+6 with baby 1 and based on an 8 week reassurance scan that’s a pretty accurate date. I don’t have my 12 week scan date yet, but was told at my booking appointment to expect it in about two weeks. I’m getting a bit nervous for it, and have been considering another private scan, but it’s such a snapshot that I don’t think it will really help. Not planning on finding out the sex at the moment, but we’ll see!

@seenomore1579 at my booking appointment I was asked if I had a better arm for my blood test and I confidently said either was fine, but it took a while and prodding at both elbows before my midwife found a vein.

I get some anxiety in the build up to a scan and it is horrible, so I can't imagine having it every day. It's definitely worth seeing if there's NHS help available for it. I hope it eases for you and you can start to enjoy the 2nd trimester lack of symptoms.
Mine is almost like I live in a nice little bubble after seeing our healthy baby on a scan, but once we have another scan coming up, I suddenly realise they could give me bad news. Almost like ignorance is bliss in between scans.
I am absolutely desperate to start feeling some movements now for reassurance.

Sorry, I should have tagged @Ellsx6

Is anyone having issues with a sensitive stomach? Not digestion wise, but physically sensitive to touch. I'm having a real problem with any kind of trousers touching my stomach. They don't even have to be tight! Just the feeling of anything being on my stomach makes me feel sick. It's been this way since about 7 weeks. Making dressing for work a nightmare because non-maternity trousers don't sit over or under the belly without looking like I'm wearing them wrong (which I am). I feel so silly considering getting some maternity trousers already but I'm not sure I've got any other choice!! xx

@ChristmasJumpers Thankyou for the advice! Also desperate to feel something for reassurance!

@veggiebuns my belly was really sensitive to touch at around 10ish weeks. 14weeks and it's gone but it does feel really uncomfy to lay on my belly now. And I hate tight clothes in general! I got some maternity leggings and don't have a bump but they are still way more comfy!

What week did you all have your booking appointment with your midwife? I’m 12 weeks on Friday and still haven’t had one?

I’ve been under the recurrent miscarriage clinic so I have been getting scans etc so it’s not like I’ve just been neglected!

Chased up my booking appointment today and was told ‘they’ll be in touch’ 🤷🏻‍♀️😳

I had mine at 10+3, but I was on holiday weeks 8-10. I called up at about six weeks to let them know and they said it was all fine, it didn’t matter when it was really, but just before I went on holiday the midwife rang and was trying to either book me in before I left or just when I got back as I’d need to book my dating scan at that appointment so getting it asap was important. Not sure why the first midwife was so chilled! But I think some trusts have the dating scan and the booking appoint as separate and I know people who’ve had their scan before booking.

@Jellybelly888 I had mine an 6 weeks I called and said I was pregnant straight away at 4 weeks and the midwife booked me for 6!

Ladies I've booked a last minute scan for tomorrow. My husband told me to because I can't stop worrying the baby has died and I'm just carrying it around unaware. I can't get it off my mind and it's causing me so much anxiety and stress. I really hope everything is ok and it helps settle my mind it's just constant thoughts. Past few weeks it's been getting so much worse and I can't shake it. Not sure if it's because I've joined a couple of due date groups online and have tried to keep up with this thread and there have been losses fairly consistently in one group or another, even by those who had early scans and thought everything was ok. Not trying to worry anyone just don't know where else to vent about this 😔

@hopefullyTTC2x if it makes you feel any better I've been having them weekly privately! I'm coming up to 15 weeks and still have another booked for the weekend. I understand your anxiety and my worse fear is carrying a baby that's died. How many weeks are you now? If you have to book the scan to get you through that's more than okay! Sometimes I think the stress will cause more harm than just paying and getting that scan. You don't need to justify yourself! Some people don't get so anxious and that's okay too but for me this is what gets me through. I think I'd be in bed 24/7 if it wasn't for knowing I have a scan coming up and can know everything's okay. Please remember though miscarriages don't happen to everyone so try not to compare yourself and it's very very uncommon for missed miscarriage so if you've had no severe cramps or bleeding you 99% chance probably have nothing to worry about. Also it's more likely for people to come to Mumsnet to tell their bad story rather than to share their amazing pregnancy if you know what I mean..so seems really common that bad things happen when in reality they don't. It's like when you've had a bad meal you're more than likely to go and leave a bad review than if you had a good meal you wouldn't really think twice about a review. When you read reviews, majority of us sort it to lowest star review first and 1 bad review sticks out to us compared to the 5 good reviews. See what I'm saying! It's more than likely going to be okay and we have luck on our side. What's caused you to have so much anxiety? For me it's because I've never really had any symptoms and I'm absolutely just confused how I could be growing a healthy baby and nothing feels different in myself and most people seem to be riddled with symptoms..

Is anyone else having issues with being ‘leaky’? Got some pelvic floor exercises but no clue if I’m doing them properly. I also randomly came across a video about people leaking amniotic fluid which panicked me a bit! But think it’s probably bladder rather than that.

Also for anyone thinking of signing up for a your baby club box - I think I’ve gotten about 15 scam calls
since signing up! I better at least get the free stuff lol

Just a little thought on what helps me with the anxiety - I’m fortunate I don’t experience clinical anxiety outside of pregnancy (and have been fortunate it’s not that at that stage during !)

i tend to triage it into three levels

level one is the normal - yes it’s totally normal these spark some shaky feelings (eg screening results ) , thinking about labour, how life will change- in which case I acknowledge the feelings and give myself space to work through them.

level two is - this is actually not normal 😂 like if I have a scan I don’t sleep for days before and am shaking so hard my teeth are shattering . The idea of a reassurance scan is literally mind boggling to me because I get so unbearably anxious in the lead up! But I also know that’s not like me at all in normal life - so I look at that sort of anxiety as hormonal. Another fun pregnancy symptom! It helps me to distance myself a bit from it and to step back from the worries themselves.

level three- would be if it ever became something that overtook my life/impacted my little girl. In which case, I’d seek clinical support.

but having that feeling around level two - that it’s hormonal really helps when I get there. I see it as a symptom and then can be a bit more rational about the worries themselves- they may still spark some difficult feelings but at least in a manageable and rational away .

Had my 12 week scan today and all looking good with baby. Was so nervous before hand, had almost convinced myself that we were going to be told there was no heartbeat, but there was 🥰. Scan took a while as my bladder was too full so I had to part empty it, and then empty it completely as baby wouldn’t move. Baby was being very stubborn and still wouldn’t move so there was lots of me wriggling around, but eventually they got all of the measurements needed and all looking good.
Everyone who’s seen the scan so far has said they think it’s a girl, but we will see what they find at the next scan!
Have told most close friends and family now. Unsure of when to tell our son, he’s 4 and started school this week so think we should at least give him a few weeks of getting settled at school.
Hope everyone else is doing ok! Xx

@GlitteringCat I looked at the baby club box and had to pay £10 for the delivery so didn't bother because most the things in the box aren't the brands I want to use anyway

Is there a different group to the Facebook one set up? My group with my first baby was super busy from the get go and still is, I'm not sure if I've joined the wrong one as seems pretty dead? It's impossible to keep up with these threads and remember who people are so I've just been patiently waiting 😅

Scan day tomorrow after last weeks 12 week scan!! Anxious!!!!

Good luck darling I'm sure it'll be okay💫
@Patientlywaiting7